Tag Archives: statement

Day 89: Who will you be in the face of death?

Who will you be in the face of death?

This is a very interesting question that when it is asked have some fascinating effects – because what does this question imply? It implies that the truth of our lives  is that we will one day DIE and our bodies will rot and again turn to the dust from which we once came.

stihl-deathbed-sceneWhen I ask myself this question – who will I be in the face of death? I see before me my entire life, all the words I’ve spoken, all the decisions I’ve made, and all the behaviors I’ve lived out, and within this emerge yet another question: can I stand by my own life? Will I be able to without shame and regret look at all of my life without and be genuinely proud of myself for what I’ve achieved?

Thus – when asking myself this question I open up a gateway to self-realization because what is the most powerful motivation for self-introspection, self-reflection, and what will really make me be objective and stick to the actual facts of myself and this world if it isn’t DEATH itself – because in looking at my life from a starting point of realizing that I will die it’s easy to see that in each and every moment I live and breathe I hold a responsibility not only towards myself but towards EVERYONE – and that when my time is up I will measure myself and ask myself the question: Was it all worth it? Did I contribute? What did I really do with my life after all? Did I really in-fact live?

Obviously death is the ultimate point that brings forth the actual truth of self – because when facing death it can not anymore be denied that THIS as the PHYSICAL is in-fact LIFE – and that DEATH implies one can not anymore live; thus it’s a real cold shower because suddenly we face the actuality of who we are that can be clearly seen in how we lived our day-to-day lives and it can no longer be pushed away – that we do only have this ONE lifetime and if we didn’t walk it fully – we will face the consequences of our decisions; and let me tell you – physical consequences STAY – FOREVER – and death is such a cool proof of this fact; when it’s done – it’s done.

What is it that we then think when we are about to die? There are five common statements that we as human beings tend to make as we draw our last breaths – and from those that have already gone before us and made the mistakes – we can learn A LOT. Let’s review three of these statements from a common sense perspective and in my next blog I will review the next two.

Statement 1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This is the single most occurring statement. It’s fascinating isn’t it, that we tend to not live our lives when we have the chance to do so, and then only when we die we realize that “shit I didn’t actually live my life at all!” – how come we can’t understand this any sooner?

The big problem here is the MIND – and how we tend to compromise and sabotage ourselves through THINKING about SHIT instead of LIVING. It’s really in-fact this simple – we tend to think all through-out our lives about all kinds of meaningless things: – what kind of body we have – how we dislike when the restaurant lady puts ketchup on the spaghetti even though we explicitly said she shouldn’t – how we dislike that new yellow color on instrument board of the new car we bought; I mean – it’s fascinating!

Even more fascinating is how much we’ll begin to think when we’re about to actually do something challenging with our lives – holy shit – then the thoughts will start to go mayhem: “what if I can’t make it? – Man, I will probably fail so I’ll just stick to what I know – but it’s to hard!” – the truth is that we spend our entire lives sabotaging ourselves and destroy any opportunity we have of creating something of magnificence – and then we where about to die we realize that “oh, maybe I shouldn’t have done that with my life” – yet VERY FEW actually make the decision to stop their self-sabotage when they actually have the chance to do so – and I mean that is simply yet another form of self-sabotage.

So, what is it that we’re able to learn from the poor bastards that end up realizing the actuality of their lives only when they die? Well – it’s to understand that LIFE IS HERE – and that we only have this one life to be honest with ourselves and to make decisions that are in-fact OUR OWN and that aren’t created within some type of fear, anxiety, or fictional fantasy – but that is OUR OWN decision made through and within our own self-honest assessment of reality, of ourselves, of this world – taking everything into consideration – and then making a decision in which we honor ourselves. That is the art of making a decision with which we can be proud over as we die – because we see that in making this decision I did really slow myself down, I did look at point closely, I did take myself into consideration, I did look at outflows, and consequences, and I as such made a decision within which I am able to stand.

Statement 2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This is apparently a common statement for males, as they lie on their death-bed they see more clearly that life held more than only their job. This statement is also fascinating – because let’s ask ourselves why do males tend to work so vigorously and hard, to the extent where all their life is only about one single thing, and that is to work and earn money?

Let me tell – yet again we have a thing called THE MIND that comes into our heads and through thoughts convinces us of various things – for example: “Shit I go to make a career for myself in my life!” – “I can’t be lesser than my friends, I got to have as much money as them!” – “I don’t want to be a looser!” – “Fuck, I must have more money!” – so we are being driven by our fears, our desires, our energy-experiences – and never do we stop up and consider – what is it that I really want to do? What is it that I really enjoy? Who I am I really? Am I who I think I am?

We tend to run through life in this fast-paced hastiness trying to get to something else, something more, something better, something other than what we have now – and in this we miss LIFE – because where is life? It’s obvious isn’t it – that life is HERE – life is your breath – life is your enjoyment when eating particular food, taking a walk, riding your bicycle, talking with the store clerk about some type of new toothpaste both of you’ve started to use recently – I mean what I want to show is that life is HERE – and it can only ever be HERE in this moment.

Though, a major problem in our world today is that we can’t just run around and live in the moment, because if we do that we compromise our futures – thus in this world we do require money and we do require to work – we require to do what is required to get money because if we don’t – we get into a position where we have NOTHING and we’re totally compromised – but still – even in walking in this world and doing the necessary working we can live HERE – participate HERE and be a part of LIFE that is here in every moment – it’s just a decision that we require to make and then live it.

The final solution though is to change this current money system and make sure all receive a living income guarantee. Because this way we make sure that we don’t have to spend our entire lives working – but that we can instead do what we really want to do – and spend our time participating within what it is that we’d really like to participate within.

Statement 3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings

Why is it that we have such problems being direct and frank with each other? I mean, apparently this is quite a issue in human beings as it’s the third most common thing we regret as we lie on our death-bed – that we didn’t actually ever speak ourselves to another.

Let me tell you again why this is a issue in human-beings – it’s because we’re so got damn fearful of not being accepted, not being loved, not being cared for, not being considered, not being appreciated – so we walk through our entire lives in complete petrification of actually uttering a word that is of substance and instead we keep our smiles up and play the gamehoping to win – yes that is a part of the problem: We want to win! We want to have everything go smoothly and be comfortable – and have everything be in place without any conflicts and without any effort – and so we shut up and play our part – to have that easy mediocre life that we’re so afraid of loosing; fascinating!

So, what does it come down to yet again? Oh yes, that mind-thingy – the mind that throws up these fantastic thoughts as reasons why you shouldn’t take this one life and in-fact live it to the fullest: “I can’t say that, what will they think of me? – No, it will sound weird if I say this – Only stupid people would ask this, I can’t ask it, no way” – so we walk through our life in fear of what others are going to think about us and only when we’re about to die we start considering whether this is how we’d really liked to live our lives – why only then? Why not now? When you’re not about to die?

I tell you, it requires a massive portion of dedication, and commitment to change the human nature behavioral patterns that we’ve inherited and created for ourselves of which hiding, isolation and the inability to communicate is one of them – but I’ll tell you something more: it’s SO much worth it – imagine that you’re FREE to actually be yourself and speak yourself as who you really are to everyone in your world – being direct and to the point; obviously still considering the words that you utilize so that no unnecessary consequences are created – but that there within this consideration is no fear – there is simply common sense; for example – that you do not say to your boss he’s an asshole because you feel like that – but that you consider COMMON SENSE – asking yourself whether it’s practical or not, effective or not, to speak what you’re considering within yourself.

Wouldn’t that be an awesome way to live? And then when you die – you know that the life you’ve lived have been REAL and it’s been of SUBSTANCE – because you spoke, you directed, you interacted, you lived – and didn’t just follow your fears.

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Hiding – Part 3

Before reading this entry – please read part 1 and part 2

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the character of not wanting to face myself – existing within and as the belief that “I am so bad – and I am so fucked up – that I can’t do anything about myself” – as such creating a escape route within myself where I think that I am able to avoid this big task of in-fact facing/seeing myself – and instead escape from this task; instead of accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that this belief that I am apparently to fucked up to face myself – it’s only a excuse and justification in order to substantiate my escape from myself – while I do in-fact see/realize/understand that facing myself is what I must do – and what will be the greatest gift that I’ve ever given to myself – as it will accept and allow me to birth myself as life from the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the character/living statement that I don’t want to face myself – instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that it’s stupid to not want to face myself – as the truth of myself is always here anyway, it’s just that I’ve hidden from myself – but that doesn’t mean that the truth of me is still here – and is creating my life and my experience of myself in everyway; as such I see/realize/understand that the obvious common sense is to face myself and get it over with – because that is much more simple than spending a life-time finding excuses and justifications and fighting the truth as myself as how I exist within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that it’s a thousand times more simple/easy to face myself than to hide from myself – and that hiding from myself is in-fact hard work – and something that must go on for a eternity; while facing myself is something that must only be done once – and then the fight/struggle is over because I am clear within and as myself – I’ve faced and corrected my shit and I can now spend my breaths living instead of fighting; as such I commit myself to stop this eternal fight and instead face myself – within seeing/realizing/understanding that it will feel difficult yet it’s what is best for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that facing myself is difficult – it’s hard – and it’s uncomfortable – yet existing within a statement/character of hiding is even more hard/difficult and uncomfortable – as such it’s easy to see that the best decision for me is to face myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see/recognize hiding as a solution – not seeing/realizing/understanding the obvious common sense that hiding is never a solution but only a form of postponement – wherein I postpone the inevitable – as such I see/realize/understand that hiding is in-fact completely unnecessary as I will have to face myself anyway – as such why hide to begin with? Why not simply take the pain and discomfort and be done with it here?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within myself to such an extent that I am not able to see how stupid my inner characters of hiding are – as they do not serve any practical/physical value at all – I simply exist as these characters because I was shown to do so – and I’ve always done so – as such existing within and as apathy accepting everything as is thinking that it’s cool – because it’s been like this forever; not accepting and allowing myself to open my eyes and in-fact question what is here – to see whether what is here actually supports a existence that is best for all – and actually supports me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that I can’t avoid facing myself – that I am in-fact facing myself even though I am hiding from myself – but that I am just avoiding to see who and what I am straight in the face from a starting point of correcting myself – and placing myself in a position within myself of changing and re-aligning myself within myself to what is best for all – to what will in-fact support/assist myself to step out of my current mind-fuck and become a self-directed – self-willed being here in every moment of breath

I commit myself to face myself – and to see/realize/understand that facing myself will be the greatest gift that I’ve ever given to myself; and that there is really no such thing as hiding from myself – but only postponing the inevitable, which is to face myself head-on – to see who and what I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be and become – and to re-create myself within and as oneness and equality here as what is best for all

I commit myself to face myself and get it over with – as I see/realize/understand that not wanting to face myself is merely postponing the inevitable – and is only serving to make me and my existence a living hell; and as such I commit myself to take this problem as me and move myself into correction/perfection/alignment with the principle as what is best for all

I commit myself to face myself – seeing/realizing/understanding that I will only have to face myself once – and then it’s done – while hiding is a project that I must walk for eternity – and is a struggle that I can let myself not go through – through simply facing myself here – and walking the necessary self-forgiveness/writing/self-correction to establish myself as clear – stable – and effective within and as my application of myself here as life

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that it’s a far more intelligent decision to face myself than to postpone facing myself – because facing myself will have the outflow of me living comfortably and relaxed within my human physical body; while not facing myself will have the consequence of my living in FEAR – which is a completely ludicrous thing to have myself go through

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that hiding is not a solution but merely a point of postponing the inevitable – as such I will/push myself to establish myself as NOT HIDING – through each day writing/doing my self-forgiveness/walking my self-corrective statements – until everything is out in the open and I am done

I commit myself to not accept my characters simply because I’ve always existed as characters – and because everyone in my world has always shown me the example of living as a character – but I instead push/will myself to question all my characters as to their purpose – and what outflows they create in my life/existence – to as such only accept and allow that which is best for all within me

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that hiding is in-fact a illusion – because actually I am always seeing who and what I am within myself – it’s just that I haven’t dared to place myself in a position of changing myself – correcting myself; as such I stand up within myself and walk self-responsibility – in taking charge of myself – and changing myself – as such stopping the idea/illusion of hiding within and as me