Tag Archives: stiff

Day 361: Organic Growth

There is a time for planning AND there is a time for organic movement. That is my insight for this week.

The way I tend to approach at least some parts of my life, is with exactitude in planning, preparation and execution. Everything should be considered and thought-out beforehand. And the underlying idea is that when everything is preemptively directed – that will bring the best results. However – I have found that this is not necessarily the case. On example of this is nature, specifically, trees.

If you look at how a tree grows, it is in the moment. The branches and roots will stretch out in search for optimum nutrition. That movement might be genetically planned in the design of the seed. However the actual growth of the tree happens organically. When the tree is young, there might be a water shortage. Hence the tree will focus its energy on growing its roots deeper into the ground to reach water. This shapes the tree, making it shorter and with less foliage than what would have been the case if it had instead focused all its energy on growing its branches towards the optimum position for receiving sunlight. Though, if it would have followed such a stiff and inflexible plan, the tree would have most likely died. Because it was able to improvise and grow organically according to its environment – it survived.

Then, many years later, the water shortage comes to an end. The tree now wants to focus on expanding its branches and foliage. Unfortunately for the tree, it has two big tree neighbors that blocks most of the sunlight coming directly from above. Instead of trying to outgrow its neighbors, the tree then grows its branches in such a way where it seeps up the small portions of light that moves past the foliage of its neighbors. The movement is yet again organic – in equilibrium and alignment with the trees environment.

The growth of a tree is flexible, organic, sensitive, receptive and balanced. It grows with common sense – moves on the opportunities that arise and redesigns its direction according to its environment. And as a whole, a tree looks magnificent – perfectly positioned and aligned with the rest of its neighbors.

Compare this organic growth with how us humans tend to move. Most of us decide upon a goal – a dream we want to realize for ourselves. It could be striving to achieve a certain income, enter a profession or become admitted to a education. Regardless, we tend to hold unto our goals stiffly and stubbornly – and when things does not move our way – instead of bending – we break. Because that is the problem with a person that has a stiff mind – he breaks when enough pressure is applied, while a flexible, soft and organic person is able to move around the obstacle. The tree did not stubbornly hold unto a goal of wanting to grow its foliage when there was a water shortage – it moved WITH its environment and was thus able to survive.

Hence – I have this week seen this pattern within me. One example of this is how I have had the tendency to structure/dream projects in my mind. Last summer I dreamed of creating a small carpentry studio in one of the unheated houses on our property. I arranged it and planned installing electricity and heating after a while. However, I did not have the funding or the time to install electricity and heating. This week I realized that there is actually a room on the property that already have heat and electricity installed, that I could have utilized instead all along. I had not however and the reason for this is because I got stuck in a ‘box’ like way of thinking. Where I only saw my initial goal – instead of expanding my thinking and instead of looking at the pictures – looking at the general process/movement that I want to facilitate. The room that is available, it cannot be aligned to fit my dreams of how my carpentry studio should look like – though it facilitates my interest in carpentry more effectively – because it gives me access to heat and electricity so that I am able to work even though it is dark outside. If I had moved myself organically, from moment to moment, I would have taken notice of this room and set up my shop there.

With this blog I want to emphasize the importance of MOMENT to MOMENT living. I want to emphasize that it is not the image/picture that is important – it is the process/movement. If we have an interest in photography – it is not the camera that is important – it is that process/movement of engaging in our interest. Hence if we cannot afford the camera we want, then instead of getting stuck, thinking we cannot advance ourselves within our interest, it is to instead find ways to facilitate and move with what we have at our disposal – to be creative and not break. There is always a lot more that can be done than what we think. The difficult part, that is to break free from our stiff and inflexible goal-driven mind – to instead see the opportunities that are here.


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Day 232: Being Super-Serious About Life

Being Super-Serious about life – isn’t that something we tend to become, as we grow older? At least I can see that this has happened to me in many ways, though primarily with regards to survival, future, career and money – and thus – in this blog I’m going to open up the mindset/character of approaching opportunities, life, and self-creation in the world-system from within a state of being serious.

The definition of the word serious is:

1 demanding or characterized by careful consideration or application

2 acting or speaking sincerely and in earnest, rather than in a joking or half-hearted manner

3 significant or worrying because of possible danger or risk; not slight or negligible

Interestingly enough a synonym for serious is grave (which has a secondary definition of being a burial ground) – and sounding the word serious, what comes through is SEAR-I-US – and the word sear means to burn, or scorch the surface of something with a sudden and intense heat. Thus, from my perspective, and the way I’ve lived the word serious, is through being overly cautious, and anxious about the future, economic prospects and career decisions – I’ve seldom made a decision for my future without being strategic and with long-term goals in my mind – knowing already when I start out what kind and type of results that I want to achieve.

b108344124fdc0532173cb2a2e763be75930828dHence, I’ve lived the word serious as a form of coping mechanism to deal with an underlying anticipation – that in any moment – at any time – something really bad might happen, and unless I spend each and every second preparing myself for that, making sure that my future is meticulously planned out – then it will occur – and I will stand in the midst of the shit not knowing how to direct myself.

Within the way I’ve lived seriousness, I do see that there are some cool, and practical dimensions – it’s obviously common sense to be well-prepared, have foresight and be strategic about decisions – though at some point this application can go overboard, and when it does, the consequence that comes through is stagnation. Because when making a decision to step out into the world, to create, to bring through a change in someway or another, there is always that point of uncertainty, that point of insecurity, which is completely natural since we do exist in a world that in it’s very essence is unpredictable, uncertain, and changeable.

Thus, because the world is not able to be fully predicted, at some point planning becomes an excuse to not take action – and that happens when we avoid moving ourselves with the opportunities that open up, because we experience a sense of fear in not being able to have complete control, and direction over what might open up. Hence, in order to live the word seriousness in a balanced way, two other words must be considered, and those are adventure, and playfulness.

When we don’t know what might come of a decision we’ve made, we’re in-fact walking into the unknown, now instead of remaining in seriousness, here is where we’re able to apply adventure and playfulness – seeing, realizing and understanding that facing and learning something new can be an adventure, something exciting, and fun – something that paves the way for self-expansion and self-movement. Within approaching something new, there is room for playfulness, because when something is new, untried, and untouched, there is opportunity for experimentation, room for finding the best way, room for challenges, and seeing what can be done. Thus, here seriousness isn’t needed – now when the plan is set up, and all points that can be considered have been considered, it’s time to move into the plan and create it – and to do that effectively we require to be responsive, flexible and playful = go on an adventure.

So, we should ask ourselves when something new comes into our world, who should I be in relation to this point? Fearful, uncertain, doubtful, or see it as an adventure, embrace and walk into the unknown – and allow ourselves to enjoy the process of discovery that takes place each time we move ourselves into uncharted territory. Obviously, embracing and walking into a change with a sense of adventure and discovery is the most rewarding – because it allows for expansion and development – expressions that can’t come through if we continuously hold back our own momentum with a skeptical seriousness.

Thus – it’s time to let go of our adult-mindset and allow the child within to come through and explore – because without the process of discovering – we’ll never discover what’s actually possible.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear approach life, opportunities, challenges, and decisions that I’ve made, within playfulness and a sense of adventure – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto a state of seriousness, and attempt to approach all things, aspects, and dimensions of my life within being serious, and trying to have each and every little detail planned out beforehand, not seeing, realizing and understanding that this isn’t how things actually work – that I can’t have everything planned out – because in this world thins will emerge unpredictably – and instead of fearing this – it’s far more effective to walk into it with excitement and joy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in the adult mindset of seriousness, looking at life from within and as survival, and approaching opportunities, and new aspects of life from within and as a starting point of skepticism, and apparent realism – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I approach life from this perspective, I’m in-fact severely limiting and holding myself back, placing this label over my life, with rules, regulations, and limitations, not realizing that life, and self-creation could be totally different – if I instead accept and allow myself to walk into the future, to walk into self-creation, from within and as a starting point of playfulness and with a sense of adventure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not approach my future, and decisions that I’ve made, that I’ve planned out, and carefully constructed, from within and as a starting point of adventure, and playfulness – to see, realize and understand that I’ve now lain the ground-work through research and preparation, and that now it’s time for me to step out and walk my plan into action, and that is a process that can’t be fully predicted, it must be walked from moment to moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not challenge myself to walk from moment to moment, and realize, that when I do have the backdrop of a plan, when I do have a outline defined for myself, there is really no need to be serious, and overly cautious about the future – because the fact is that I can deal with such points as they arise – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to walk into my future – and into my life – and into what is to come – and within that apply playfulness and looking at the unfolding of my creation as a adventure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overly cautious with regards to creating my future in terms of career, job, money, employment, and similar points – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand to what extent that I’m limiting myself when I look at those aspects in my life from this very stiffened, and graven starting point – viewing them as burdens that have to be fulfilled – instead of seeing the potentials that exist – widening my view – looking up from this experience into the physical world that is here – and pushing myself to work with what is here – to apply myself within what is here before – to utilize what is here in my life bring myself and my life forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that as a child, I did have that innocent and unconditional approach towards life, where things wasn’t just a burden to be fulfilled, but it was an adventure to be experienced, to be created, and to be lived – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take that stance in relation to my life again, to see, realize and understand that regardless of what point I’m walking into – that there is this potential of walking into it with a sense of joy, adventure, and playfulness – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this is in-fact the solution for me to be able to do – create – and form a life form myself that I would truly enjoy and find rewarding, challenging, and demanding – which is what I desire and want to have out of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution of creating a life for myself that really challenges me, and where I expand – is to move through the experience of uncertainty and resistance towards new things, towards new opportunities, new points of creation, new worlds, and words to open up – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the gift of pushing through these fears, and putting myself out there to experience life – as well as experience myself and my potential and ability to create and bring my vision into life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand – that life isn’t going to wait for me to feel prepared – and rather life is here and it’s a decision that I’ve to make to walk into it and really take up the challenge of creating myself in this lifetime – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make that decision – to not put myself out there – to challenge myself – and place me into the zones and positions where I don’t feel particularly comfortable – because I see, realize and understand that it is in those positions and stances that I will expand – grow – and develop within and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am holding back from moving and directing myself, taking action and living my plans and decisions, because I feel a sense of anticipation, and I can’t really predict what is going to happen, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that there is a time for planning, yet then there is a time for action, and walking out into the system, and creating myself, and this is where I’m at now – I require to breathe and walk out into the world system and create myself and my life – do that which I see is necessary to be done

When and as I see that I am holding myself back in anticipation, expecting the worst, and trying to solve this by planning every single minute detail – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I’m limiting myself, and that by pushing through this anticipation, and expectation of the worst, and actually placing myself out there, moving myself – I will expand and grow – because I’m going to face new challenges – new dimensions of life which will require me to be on my toes and question myself – and develop an effective character for dealing with the point; thus I commit myself to actively push myself through anticipation, and it’s cousins postponement, and stagnation, through putting myself out there – through working with the resources that I’ve at my disposal and not accepting and allowing myself to wait for everything to be perfect before I begin