Tag Archives: stop

Day 409: Facing Gossip

Gossiping is widely accepted and allowed in humanity at this stage, and interestingly enough, it is often associated with close friendship and bonding – where the bond is created by diminishing and harassing another human being in words.

Gossiping is very, very destructive – and it never gives an accurate picture of another person. It is mostly done to get back in some respect or another – and the purpose is to destroy the other person and to make oneself feel better/superior. As far as character goes, gossiping says everything about the one that is doing it, and nothing about the person being gossiped about. A person that accepts and allows gossip usually feels so insecure and inferior within themselves, that they must destroy others, to be able to remain afloat.

When it comes to the consequences of gossiping, one of them is that view/opinion/relationship the people hearing the gossip have with/of the person being gossiped about, will be effected. And hence, one sentence of gossip, can potentially severely damage a cool relationship between two people.

Thus – the moment I catch myself I gossiping, whether this is something I see in my backchat, or words that I consider actually voicing, I immediately stop myself – because gossiping is not something that I accept and allow in my life.

In this interview from Eqafe you can hear life review with a person that gossiped a lot in their life, the consequences this created, and solutions that can be applied to change and stop gossiping.


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Day 324: Did I Do Something Wrong?

In this blog I am going work on the following mind pattern: Some days ago I faced a situation in which I thought that I was given a spare part to my tractor by a friend of mine. However, my friend clarified that he was not giving me the part but expected to get money in return. In that moment I felt embarrassed, and vulnerable, and thought to myself that I should have known! How could I have expected him to give me this part! Throughout the rest of that day I returned to this moment in my mind, and each time, what came up within me was this experience of embarrassment, ridicule, and feeling stupid. Several times I thought that my friend must think that I am an ass, that expected to get this part for free.

I am going to look at this pattern through asking myself four questions: How am I? What am I? Why am I? Who am I? – and through these questions walk the mind-pattern, and define a practical solution for myself that I can apply real-time.

How am I?
In the situation that I described above I felt nervous, tense, inferior, and vulnerable. I believed that the people around me thought badly of me, that they did not like me, and that they saw flaws in me. I was worried they were going to spot a weakness and use that to their advantage, speak about me behind my back. I judged myself because I did not have a casual and relaxed approach to my friend wanting money for the spare part.

What am I?
In the situation, I am not expressing myself to my fullest potential, rather I am standing as an example of a reaction, of holding back, and not accepting and allowing myself to live fully.

Why am I?
I am here on this earth to learn about myself, to see, understand and correct my patterns, and hence, this situation is an excellent opportunity for me to expand me insight and self-knowledge. I am here to live fully, and hence, I see, realize and understand, that this small moment, and my reaction within it, is insignificant in the large picture, and thus not something that I should make a big deal out of within myself.

Who am I?
To correct this pattern, I am to live self-acceptance and light-heartedness – allowing myself to NOT take things to seriously – allowing myself to not be right – to do something that is seen as socially unacceptable or bad – and still – accept and LOVE myself. Thus – the solution is to stand unconditional in my self-love – and to live that practically through STOPPING the judgments – and instead SMILING at the point – and accepting and allowing myself to let it go through relaxing myself with my body – relaxing my muscles and bringing myself back here.

Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too serious about how I am perceived by others, and judge myself when and as I perceive that others have created a negative judgment about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value what others think of me, and define myself according to how I believe others see me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not love myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a demand unto myself – that I am to be calm, stable and relaxed when it comes to money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that I have perceived to be greedy or misers when it comes to money – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will judge me the same way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be judged as a miser

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving the impression that I am a miser – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over-compensate through being generous to the extent where I am compromising myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to have a good impression of me and like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to love me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek comfort, acceptance and value in others – and not trust myself – and stand by myself regardless of what might play out in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand by myself – but abandon myself when I perceive that others are against me – and then fight with myself – instead of accepting myself – and loving myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as flawed and inferior – and thus seek others approval in the belief that this will raise my value – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not love myself unconditionally – and understand that my value is constant HERE – that nobody outside of me can determine my value – because my value is HERE as me by the fact that I am here within and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for approval in others instead of approving myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace that I have a problem with money when it comes to giving and receiving – and that this is not something to judge – but instead something to understand – so that I can correct the point and develop a common sense – equal and one relationship with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my problems – the things I have to work on within myself – and understand that they are not bad – but simply weak spots that I require to understand and correct – and hence I commit myself to LOVE myself unconditionally – through NOT judging my weak points

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself judging myself, because I have reacted towards either giving, or receiving money, in fear, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I do have problems with money – and this has got nothing to do with others – and the reactions I perceive they have towards this point is not relevant – what is important is that I understand my issue and move myself to direct – for myself – and thus I commit myself to UNDERSTAND my problem with money – to FOCUS on MYSELF – and to approach my issue within unconditional self-acceptance

I commit myself to be curious about my issues and investigate them unconditionally – to not judge – instead LEARN and UNDERSTAND

I commit myself to replace judgment with curiosity and interest towards learning more about myself and the issues I have – in this case with money


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Day 287: When a NO is more of a YES

Walking the Desteni process you get to learn how to stop your mind; for example, how to stop anger, irritation, fear, etc. In my own process I have enabled myself to stop various forms of thoughts, experiences, and other type of mind related points. Mostly, I have done this through stating ‘STOP!’ Or ‘NO!’ within me as the mind point arise. However, there are certain points that I have had difficulty with and that still at times pester me. These points have in common that my ‘NO!’ does not seem to have any effect. I will say ‘NO!’ inside of me several times, yet nothing happens, nothing moves, it is as if I have rather said ‘Okay!’ inside of myself.

When this happens it indicates that the ‘NO!’ is not clear and absolute. It indicates that there still is some form of hidden self-interest lurking in the background. In having this hidden self-interest I will then corrupt my NO statement, and sneak in some silent YES statements. The YES statement does not necessarily have to be expressed in the mind – it can come up as this underlying and deep movement of resistance. It will feel like I am not completely present in my body – an experience of resignation.

Thus, when this happens, I have found that it is important to locate the hidden point of self-interest. The self-interest will vary depending on the mind point. For me I have seen that my difficulty in stopping certain anger reactions has been because I held unto the self-interest of wanting division of labor and responsibilities to be fair and just. And I have seen that my problems with changing fear and social anxiety has been related to the self-interest of wanting to protect myself, and feel in-control in social contexts. And fears with regards to job, career and money has several times been connected to the self-interest of wanting to be in control, and secure more money for myself to feel safe.

The key to being able to stop the mind is to get to the point of standing as a clear and absolute NO – and to embrace a clear and absolute NO there cannot be any self-interest still existing within self. Jesus said that a house divided against itself cannot stand – and the same principle applies within us. If we state NO yet we do not back that statement fully – we will not stand. The reason for a division within self is because there are parts of self not yet investigated and directed – hence the importance of self-introspection and writing. In getting to know all of our own secrets, we empower ourselves to make a clear and absolute decision as to who we are – and that makes all the difference.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I have a difficulty in stopping myself and saying – NO – and living that NO – then there is a hidden self-interest that I have not yet opened up and directed – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize writing and self-forgiveness to open up and direct all points of self-interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto self-interest when it comes to unfairness, when I feel that I am doing more work than others, and thus through holding unto this self-interest, disable myself from effectively stating NO and stopping anger and frustration coming up when I feel that I am doing more than others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto a self-interest of me doing less than or equal to others when it comes to physical labor and caring for other responsibilities – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to do more than others – and to not want to commit myself and my time to helping and assisting others – feeling/experiencing that it is ‘my time’ and that I as such have primary importance – in that I should be allowed to do what I want with my time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize anger as a way of complaining about me feeling that the division of labor is not fair and equitable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the division of labor and responsibilities to be equitable – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to put in more effort – but only give as much as is needed – the smallest amount possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only want to push, create and move points, so that they work, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to make them the best that they can be – and give that extra effort to move the point into a state of perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist pushing for perfection, because I feel that it is not worth the effort, and thus be content with mediocrity – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be content ‘when things work’ – instead of pushing myself to make things work excellently – and only then – when things are in optimum condition – having reached their fullest potential – accept and allow myself to be content with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to closely watch others and the amount of physical work and activity they put down into their responsibilities – so that they will not trick me so that I get to do the brunt of the work – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within this state of policing – where I attempt to make sure that all responsibilities are divided equitably and fairly – and that no one gets to do more than another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as an example of pushing myself to do that little extra that makes a point of creation excellent – perfect – and something to be proud over

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally push myself to contribute to my life and others in my life – through giving my responsibilities and commitments my utmost attention – and pushing them to perfection – hence not accepting and allowing myself a point to be only ‘good’ or ‘working’ – but instead pushing for the point to be perfect

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist working and taking care of responsibilities – because I feel that others have done less than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify giving into laziness and apathy through thinking that I have already done enough – and that now it is time for others to step up and do their part

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify doing the least amount of work through thinking that others are doing the same and that I am no worse than what they are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to release this self-interest within me of wanting to do as little work as is possible – and instead embrace the point of pushing myself in work and physical labor – to through that create value for myself as well as others

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into wanting to avoid work because I feel that I have already done enough, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that this pattern of wanting to do the least amount possible is not best for me, neither best for others, and is creating the dynamic of competition – where each one only want to do the least amount possible – and trying to divide the work equitably – yet always there will be the feeling that someone gets to do more than another – thus I commit myself to embrace work, and responsibilities – to push myself to take them to perfection and not fear/resist taking on more than others – understanding that I create value for myself and others through my movement – and that I stand as an example for others in my decision to move

When and as I see myself policing others, because I want to make sure that they do the exact same amount of work as I do, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that this state of policing brings me into a mindset of looking at what others are doing, instead of looking at what I am doing, and how I can contribute, and how I can support myself and others – thus entering into a state of competition – instead of remaining within a state of creation – thus I commit myself to place my focus on me and what I create – what I contribute with – what I give and how I am able to support and bring through that which is supportive and best for all

When and as I see myself feeling that it is unfair, or unjust, that others seem to be doing less than me, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this feeling, that it is unjust, that it is unfair, that it is not right, that this experience is not supportive for me in my self-creation process and in me building and creating my life – instead my focus becomes trying to make sure that everyone is doing the exact same – instead of looking at what I can do that will support/bring through what is best for all – thus I commit myself to push myself to give more – to work more – to act more – to not look at what others are or are not doing – rather focus on what I can give and do for myself as well as others in my life

Day 72: Addiction To Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to, and enslaved to fear, and stress – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself in seeing how much of my life, how much of my thoughts, my actions, and my daily participation is based on fear of survival – and how fear is the reason that I am not able to live here in every breath – because I constantly use my mind to project myself into the future, in order to attempt to control my future in fear of survival

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to control my future, and to within this fear that I will not be able to stabilize myself in the world system, and make anything out of myself, because I will not be able to create a effective, and sustainable relationship with money, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry, and to experience, anxiety, and stress – and to feel that I am in a bad world, a ruthless world, and that the only way for me to exist is to fear, and to make sure that I fear everything, because apparently that strengthens my ability to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to beat the system from a starting point of fear, wherein I will try to maneuver myself so that I won’t loose in this world, and with loose meaning that I loose money, that I loose my stability, that I loose access to finances, and that my life because of this becomes unstable, unsustainable, and unpredictable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear and anxiety that my life is going to be unpredictable in the future, and that I am not going to know, or be able to prepare myself for the future, but that I will instead loose myself in this world, and become one of those millions of people with no home, with no voice, with no money, with no purpose, that have been rejected and secluded by the system, and that are doomed to exist on the outskirts of the system barely surviving; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself, and to hold myself back form walking into and standing within and as the system, through giving into fear, and accepting and allowing fear to become my god – instead I standing as my own god as self-directive principle in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear, and anxiety in relation to what grade, and what mark I might get on the classes of this term, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that unless I get a superior grade, that is better, and more effective than any others, that I won’t get a effective job, and that I because of that won’t be able to support myself, and I won’t be able to support another, and that thus my reality, and my world will become unpredictable, and I won’t really know, or understand what it is that I am going to do to sort things out; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear, and to live in anxiety, and to live in stress towards the future, instead of accepting and allowing myself to see, realize, and understand, that regardless of whether I stress or not – I can’t control the future – I can’t access and have full and complete control – and thus the solution is to let go of fear – to let go of anxiety – and to accept and allow myself to breath and bring myself back into my human physical body – back here to physical breath, and physical movement, to not anymore be possessed by the mind as fear but instead live physical and practically here in every moment of breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anxiety, and fear that I won’t get the best marks, in fear that I won’t get the best job, in fear that I will thus be a failure in my life, and I will not have access to any point in the system wherein I can be considered as a winner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as, and become a victim to stress, a victim to fear, and to make and design my entire living around fear – wherein I move myself in fear, I interact in fear, I think in fear, I make decisions in fear, and I breath in fear, instead of accepting and allowing myself to realize that being in fear is not living – it’s not in-fact standing – it’s instead being dead, and being a slave to a energy; as such I commit myself to bring myself back here and to stop living in fear – and instead live fully in every moment so that there will be no regret when I die

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry within me this huge burden of fear, and anxiety towards the future, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this huge, and massive energy of fear within me limits me, and how it in-facts makes my daily living to be uncomfortable, and to be very undesirable, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a deep breath and bring myself back here to the physical, and give myself the opportunity to let go of all fear and instead focus upon living – because in living fully there is no room for fear, there is no room for though, there is no room for backchat, there is no room for any mental hidden secretive reality, because I am fully here – fully present – one and equal with and as the moment as myself here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am going to fail in making money for myself in the future, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it a pattern to participate in ideas, and beliefs of myself, that I am a failure, and that I must watch out in my life, because if I don’t make sure that I am prepared, and that I walk in fear, I am going to fail, and within that make my life a living hell; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not say stop, and realize that I decide who I am, and that I am not a failure only because a thought in my mind comes up saying that I am, because I have the opportunity to direct myself, and to decide how I will accept and allow myself to exist, and how I will accept and allow myself to experience myself within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of any hopes, and expectations that my life will work out, and that my life will be comfortable, and within this embrace the worst possible outcome, realizing that I must stand stable, calm, and directive in the worst possible outcome, else I am not real, but merely a product of my environment; as such I commit myself to embrace, and stand stable in the worst possible outcome – and thus stop my fear of the future

When and as I see I go into fear about the future, or about my studies, or about how I will make money in the future, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I decide who I am, not the fear, and that I decide what I will accept and allow within and as myself, not the mind; as such I commit myself to decide that I am no longer a slave to fear but that I will instead live completely and fully in every moment so that there is no room for a mental reality within me

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