Tag Archives: structure

Day 441: Making Plans and Following Them

I like making plans. In-fact it makes me excited to consider the potentials of the future, what I can do with it, what goals can be realized and what directions can be taken. Though, what is more difficult for me is to stick with the plan. It is also harder for me to plan my day-to-day life – you know – the small apparently insignificant things we have to tend to. To me, this indicates one thing, and that is that planning is not yet a word/expression that I am living as a grounded and realistic approach to life. It is still more of a form of entertainment rather than a practical tool to be used in making myself and my daily living more streamlined and effective.

One example that comes to mind, that exemplifies my tendency to ‘winging it’ instead of structuring my approach, is that I do not tend to look in my almanac throughout my week. And that in itself is a tell, because guess what, I usually sit down and map out my week, in my almanac. Though when it comes to applying it throughout the week, I rely on my good memory, and improvise a lot as well. However, this causes me to forget what I have planned, miss responsibilities and ‘to-do’s’.

Though, there is yet another reason why I do not tend to look in the almanac throughout my week, and that is a underlying stress, a sense of urgency, where I do not feel as if I have the time to stop up and make any plans, or for that matter, check up upon and follow the plans that I have already made. However, I do understand on a theoretical level, and I have also seen it in practice, that when I plan and streamline my day, this helps me to be more efficient with my time, to get more done, and to move more smoothly through my day.

Thus, the points I want to work with regards to the word planning/structure is to be realistic when I make my plans, to push myself to plan, and follow my plans, with regards to my day-to-day living.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited when I make my plans, and to make them too ambitious, too lofty, where I become excited over the fact that I can plan, imagine and think things up, however, not considering the practical living of the plan – and also taking into consideration WHO I AM as a person, and what would be realistic for me to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow through on the plans that I make, because when it comes to following through, I no longer have that exciting energy within me, and now, it is all physical, and it is all about discipline, and it as all about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire my plans to live for me, to hope that when I have made a plan, that it is enough and that I do not have to do anymore, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire plans so that I can feel comfortable in knowing that I am going to go forward with my life – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that plans are only what I make of them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that plans are a direction in and as themselves, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the direction, the movement, it will always be ME – plans is only ever a tool that I am able to use in order to structure and create an overview in my life and make it easier for me to stand as the direction and stand as the movement in my life – and stand as the way forward – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not use plans as a support tool and not something upon which I rely to move myself forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my plans are my guide, that my plans are what should move me forward, that my plans are what will move me through life, that I can place trust and reliance on my plans – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited and joyful when I make plans because I believe that they are actually going to be realized automatically and that I am going to achieve everything that I think about and look at – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that my plans will not do such a thing, that I will have to stand as the point of direction in my life and my life forward – no plan will do that for me

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to live the word planning through structuring my daily living in a realistic and grounded way, where I plan and streamline my day-to-day commitments and responsibilities in a supportive manner

I commit myself to follow through on what I have planned, to actively look at my calendar and my to-do list, to use it as a support and a reference point, from which I move myself

When and as I see myself going into a state of ‘winging’ it – a state of stress and anxiety, where I do not want to spend time on planning, referencing my plans, or following my plans, because I feel that it takes too much time, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that planning does take time, though it is something that will pay back, because when I plan, I create a overview, and I create a foundation for efficiency and expression – because I know where I am, where I am going and what is required to be done – and thus I commit myself to stop up, take a breath and commit time each day to planning my movement and my time


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Day 439: Slowing Down In The Process of Creation

Last week I had an interesting realization with regards to living the words STRUCTURE and THOROUGH. I had proof-read a text of mine, which I then handed over to my colleague who had requested the text. Later my colleague came back and pointed out a couple fact errors in the text.

I looked at WHY those errors had come to be and remained, even though I proof-read the text – and I found the following.

To effectively fact-check, and to be thorough, precise and structured, each step of the creation process must be walked, and each step must be given as much time as is required for that particular step to be effectively completed. Hence, there must be a certain level of slowness to the creation process – if I move too fast – then I will miss things. However, this point of slowing down is something that I have experienced as unstimulating, sterile, painstaking and wearisome – actually causing me to become stressed/wanting to move forward faster in order to make the task more stimulating. The consequence of accepting and allowing myself to move with this stress is that mistakes are made.

The solution is to push through this angst/stress connected to the application of being thorough/precise/structured – to regardless of the experience – realizing that I do not need stimulation from my outside environment – and then walk the point in the pace that is required for the process of creation to be effective. And also – to see, realize and understand – that this process of disciplining self in a supportive pace is in itself stimulating, fascinating and enjoyable – however on a deeper level compared to experiencing my environment as stimulating.


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Day 426: Planning/Structuring My Next Move

Creating a structure, a plan, a way to go, it takes time, it takes effort, and sometimes, it feels like its not worth it. Hell, why not just go for it immediately? At least, that has been the case for me. Well, I have now come to see things differently.

I am actually in the midst of removing rust from my car. It has not been a particularly difficult process, until that is, I got to the part where I have to varnish the car. Then things started to become complicated, because in order to have the reparation blend in with the old varnish, there are certain techniques that must be used. Unfortunately, I learned these techniques AFTER I had begun with my project, which again shows the importance of STRUCTURE and PLANNING. The natural progression in my case would have been that I first sat down to do research on the techniques of how to remove rust and the varnish the car effectively. And then to go out and apply it in reality. However, because I was so eager, excited, and also, a bit arrogant, I went out and into action without hesitation.

However, there have been more complications. In the middle of varnishing the car, I ran out of color. And now, I have two spots on the car where there is no varnish, and usually, it takes a couple of weeks for the color to arrive when ordered, and hence, I might have to abort mission in the middle of the process, and then return to it at a later stage to do it again. If, I would have prepared all the ingredients, all the tools, all the things I need, BEFORE, I started the project, and hence committed myself to following a STRUCTURE, I would not have this problem.

These are all examples of why structure is important, and also examples of situations where structure has not been applied sufficiently.

Thus – the solution – to SLOW DOWN – and BEFORE I begin the ACTION part of a project – to do my research – to prepare – to plan – to consider the application and movement to come – and THEN – to go into ACTION. And obviously – with some things, there is not much to be planned or considered, and with other things there are many points to contemplate, especially those that I am not familiar with.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist applying structure, because I feel that it is boring, there is no ACTION in it, I do not get anywhere, it is just discussing and planning, looking at the point, no MOVEMENT, and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define action and movement as only being the part of a project where I DO something PHYSICALLY that has an immediate and direct impact on the point I am walking – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that a successful project, a successful application, has many other dimensions to it, that impact on a indirect level, such as for example an effective STRUCTURE, an effective PLAN

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to apply structure, consideration, planning in my life – to push myself to before I begin something, to plan and structure my actions, to while I am in the middle of a project, to push myself to structure and plan my actions, to not go wild into spontaneous action believing that this is the most effective route to go, because I see, realize and understand, that many times it is not – and in-fact – I will have to re-do the project – or I will end up dissatisfied with the results – because I have not applied myself to the level that I am capable of doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that even though creating a structure and a plan takes time, it will show in the final result, it will show in how I walk the point, because when I plan, when I use a structure, I am able to be more relaxed and confident, because I know where I am going, and I know where I am, and I am able to see as well when things do not progress as I see is best – and then act

Self commitment statements

When and as I see myself resisting to sit down and plan, structure and consider a project/movement/direction that I am intending to walk – I stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I take the time to plan, structure and consider my movement, and prepare myself beforehand – I always end up with better results – I am more satisfied and more content with myself – and when I am done – I know the project has not been walked haphazardly – and hence – I commit myself to PLAN, STRUCTURE, PREPARE and CONSIDER my movement/direction/application within a project BEFORE I move into the ACTION-phase – to as such support myself to achieve the best results possible


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Day 425: Revisiting STRUCTURE

This week I have returned to look at the word STRUCTURE and one person that supports me a lot when it comes to practically applying and living this word is my partner, because in many areas of her life, she is very structured – and one such area is cooking.

When I was younger, my way of cooking used to be very chaotic. Let us say that I were supposed to cook beef, potatoes and some sauce. I would then throw myself into it without prior considerations, and probably, begin frying the meat, while at the same time trying to peel the potatoes and stirring the sauce, hence creating a very chaotic environment for myself – thus no structure.

Through my partner, I have come to appreciate planning, preparation and considering the process of cooking before embarking on the journey. Hence, what I do now, is that I will prepare all the raw material, before I begin to do something with it. Hence I will peel all the potatoes, I will cut the meat, and I will pick out the ingredients for the sauce. By doing this, I have been able to create a much more relaxing and rewarding relationship with cooking, and obviously, I have become a better cook. Though, there are still points that I want to improve and expand upon in relation to my cooking.

The first point is to learn to slow down to read the recipe, preferably two times, so that I make sure that I know the steps needed to be walked to cook the dish. This practice of slowing down and looking/investigating/researching before I move and act is actually something that I would like to integrate in other parts of my life as well – because I have a tendency of moving too fast. When I get excited about something, I want to move NOW – however – the problem with this is that I will then many times miss points and make unnecessary mistakes, that could have been easily prevented with a little bit of forethought.

Another cool example of living structure that I realized as of late had to do with removing rust on my car. I had been thinking of removing the rust for a while, however, I had only thought about it, and not really planned how I would do it, for instance, where I would park the car, what kind of materials I would use, how long it would take, etc. Then one day, I just began, I put the car outside and started removing the rust spots, and naturally, it began to rain as I was applying the new coating. I stopped, and looked at what I was doing. I could see and feel that I was moving in a state of stress and excitement, I wanted to move, move, move, and get done, move ahead, apply – however – in that state of stress/excitement – I was missing to PLAN and take into CONSIDERATION my environment – and effectively preparing myself and my surroundings so that I would be able to walk through my project successfully.

I then decided to change direction. I used about two hours to clear out the garage, to prepare a work bench, electricity and effective lightning, preparing my environment for the operation I was about to commence, until I satisfied and content. Then I began anew with my project, and this time it flowed A LOT better.

Thus, similar to cooking, in making minor reparations on my car, it is very supportive to prepare, plan, look ahead, and structure my movement and my environment, before moving on to the actual production. Though, it is fascinating, that at times, this preparatory phase does not feel as real, as important, as significant as the actual ‘production’ phase – and I will actually resist spending the necessary time, preparing the point. However, this is a faulty proposition, because ALL parts of the project, is in-fact, however indirectly, connected to the actual production, and will all have an influence on the finished result. And it is the same with cooking. The cooking process will be a lot less stressful, and hence, there will be more time to direct the specifics, and make sure that the details are in place.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to jump immediately to the ‘productive phase’ of a particular project/expression and not prepare or structure my movement beforehand, and hence, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how it is that I am in-fact compromising the finished result, compromising my expression, because structuring, and preparing, are actually important aspects of the process and indirectly impacts the finished result of whatever it is that I am participating within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that by placing focus on the finished result and the direct actions that result in the finished result, and not looking at the entire process of creation as a whole, I am limiting myself and my movement within the point, and I am compromising the finished result, as I am not allowing myself to structure my movement, to create a sound foundation from which I am able to move and create myself and express myself within the particular project that I am taking part in

Self-commitment statement

When and as I feel stress, excited and anxious to get going, and I want to move on a project without structuring it, preparing for it, and considering the walking of the project, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that I have consistently proven to myself, that I will do a lot better, and the finished result will be much more effective, when I take time to structure my movement, when I take time to look at what is required and needed, and how to best facilitate my movement, and then, when I have made that plan, move myself forward – thus I commit myself to practice preparation, structure, slowing down, and using the time that I need, in order to walk a point of creation methodically and slowly, to get it done in the best way possible.


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Day 423: Moving Physically Instead of With Stress

I now have around one week left on my holidays and that has triggered some stress and anxiety within me, because I feel as if there is so much still to do, so much I still want to get to, so much I still want to participate within. If I follow along with this anxiety and stress, the physical movement/behavior that follows is that I start to act spontaneously and irrational – trying to ‘do things’ as fast as possible, and preferably, as many things as possible. The idea behind this way of living is that I will through that ‘save’ time. Needless to say, usually the opposite happens instead, because I will move around aimlessly, and forget to prioritize, and do the things that are really of importance, and do them effectively and well.

Hence, I find that the solution is to SLOW down, to move with breath, to do the things I do have time to do, and to simply leave the rest for another time. Instead of stressing about the fact that my holidays are soon over, I could instead use the time I have effectively, through remaining stable, and planning, structuring my days, and my time, so that I move, and get done the things, I know are important and relevant for me to direct, and that I might not have as much time for, when I start working again.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access, and go into, anxiety and stress when I notice that my holidays are soon over, and fear that I will not get to the various responsibilities and projects that I have in my life, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust anxiety and stress, and believe that anxiety and stress will support and help me, that they will guide me, and distrust myself, thinking that I am not able to or capable unless I have some form of energy that comes up within me and motivates and propels me forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself, and believe that if I move myself through the physical, only remaining, and standing as the physical, and not use any anxiety and stress, then I will not do anything what so ever, and I will but become a lazy bum, sitting on my ass all the time – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that its through sanding within and as the physical, and moving as the physical that I am able to take everything into account, and move in a way that is best for all, instead of merely stressing myself ahead, and fast forwarding life, believing that this is going to lead me into a better life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust stress and anxiety more than what I trust the physical – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not develop a deep and intimate – one and equal – relationship with my human physical body – similar to what I had when I was a child – where fear did not control me and move me throughout my day – but instead – I MOVED myself with and as my human physical – and hence I commit myself to move myself WITH AND AS my human physical body – to move myself within physical structure and planning – to look at what requires to be done – and then move to do it – however not overexert myself or become irrational – always remain grounded

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself becoming stressed, anxious and worried because I am not getting done with as many things I think I should, or things are not moving fast enough, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this stress and anxiety is not a help for me to move forward, it is rather what holds me back, because while in it, I become irrational, I become lost in a state of fear, where I start to do things that do not make sense, only to feel like I am moving forward; and thus I commit myself to remain grounded – to stick with structure and practical planning – and to trust myself as the physical – that I will move myself and get things done – maybe not the way I have before in my life – though I will move and direct points until i am satisfied – in the pace of breath


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Day 385: Structuring Life, What Have I Realized Thus Far?

I have now for a while been practicing living the word STRUCTURE. Thus far I have come to see, realize and understand a couple of things in relation to living this word. Firstly, in order to be able to live structure it is important to follow through on my plans – because structuring my life through using timetables, calendars and to-do-lists is only worthwhile if I actually commit myself to follow these. Hence, the word/expression ‘follow-through’ I have found to be very important.

Closely related to ‘follow-through’ is discipline. I have realized that it takes discipline to live structure. For me, this is because I have a tendency to become too impulsive and spontaneous, and sometimes, motivated by stress/anxiety to try and take on and do all things at the same time. Utilizing discipline however, I can push myself to remain consistent and true to my plans – which helps me to remain earthed/practical/rational with regards to how I use my time. With Structure, I can create an overview, however it takes discipline to then stick to the small steps which I have mapped out from that ‘overview’ position – because when I am in the middle of everything – it is easy to get sidetracked and digress.

Living and standing as the word structure is thus a combination of many different words and expressions. This is what makes it challenging to live structure – and especially for me – the challenge has been remain true to my initial commitments. Hence, when I have noticed that I digress, I have applied a technique where I stop up, slow myself down, and breathe for a few moments, and then I return to that point of having a overview, and from there, I look at what is required to be done next. And usually, what causes me to digress is some form of feeling or emotional, where suddenly, I experience something different as very relevant to pursue, though when looking at the point objectively, with clarity, that urge/stress is in-fact not real.

I have also found that structure is not only about time, planning and what happens in my external reality. Structure can also be applied within me. For example, making a decision to always apply self-forgiveness upon, and direct internal experiences as they arise, that is a type and form of structure/platform. Or, simply writing a self-commitment statement, where I specify how to deal with and direct myself in relation to a certain point, that is a form of structure. Thus – structure is an expansive word – that can be lived in a variety of ways – and thus far – I have primarily explored it in the context of work/career – however I do see a lot of potential with regards to living the word in other parts of my life as well.

 


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Day 384: Solving Fear With Structure

I have worked a lot with fear, anxiety and insecurity in relation to work and managed to stabilize myself in many dimensions/areas. However, what is cool, and also challenging about my work, is that I am continuously moving into more expansive positions of responsibility, which then opens up new experiences/dimensions of anxiety, fear and insecurity. I have realized that there are a couple of things that assists and supports me to remain stable at work. Firstly, structuring and planning my work thoroughly assists and supports me to remain stable. Secondly, preparing myself and devoting the time and effort required for me to be fully knowledgeable as to the point I am directing assists and supports me to remain stable. Though, recently with work, because I have been given new responsibilities, it has been more difficult to fall back on my previous tools.

There are primarily two things that builds this pressure within me. It is the fear of making a mistake, mishandling my responsibilities, and facing critique/anger from colleagues and others – and it is the feeling that there is too much, too many responsibilities, and too little time for me to effectively handle them. The latter of these pressure points is not only mind-based – it is a fact that I have little time – and to get to all my responsibilities – it is hence important that I am efficient, precise, prepared and structured – because that enables me to walk through it effectively. The former, the fear of mishandling my responsibilities, is however a mind point, in the sense that, it does not make sense to worry about critique/anger that I might potentially face from others, as it should not affect who I am anyway. Hence, it is these two points, and my relationship to these points that I want to work with. If I am able to stabilize these points – I know that I will be able to work and care for my responsibilities without going into pressure/anxiety/fear.

Thus during the past week I have worked with the word STRUCTURE. Initially I found this word empty and vague. Though, as I considered, looked at, and practiced implementing structure into my life, I came to see that structure is very much practical. Living the word structure is not the same as having routines – because routines does not necessarily have to be structured. In the word structured there is an element of prudence, sagacity and foresight. When something is structured, it is planned, it is considered, it is a plan develop with clarity and understanding. A routine on the other hand is simply something I do because I have done it other times. Structuring my life requires intelligence and self-movement.

I practiced structure through pushing myself to take one day each week, either at the beginning or the end, to plan the week ahead, using ‘to-do-lists’ and basic timetables. This then gave me the opportunity to slow down and look at my work and my home-life from a birds eye-view – which would allow me to prioritize, plan-ahead, consider, refine, and prepare myself for the week to come – so that nothing would come as a surprise. The results of this practice was that I remained grounded and stable throughout my week. When something unexpected came along, I dealt with that, however when that point was sorted out, I would return to the plan.

Another way which I would live structure was to already before I went to take my coffee break, decide on how long it was going to be. I did this because I have a tendency to otherwise, sit at the table, and wait until some of my colleagues leave, and then get up and back to work. However, when I do that, this is sometimes compromising, because I will loose time, that would have been better used working. This, similarly supported me to remain stable, to know what was coming, to know what I was doing, when I was doing it, and how I was doing it.

Hence, structure, a very interesting word, and I have come to see that it is in-fact practical, concrete and very much earthed. Living and integrating structure has however been quite challenging, because I have a tendency to ‘flow out’ into unstructured and spontaneous activity – and although I enjoy this form of expression at times – it is not very supportive to live like this all the time. In other words, it is always supportive to have a direction, though that should not limit me from improvising when it is needed, or I decide to do so, because it is something that I want to experience.

I will continue to experiment with the word structure in the week to come. Will be back with updates.

 


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