Tag Archives: structure

Day 385: Structuring Life, What Have I Realized Thus Far?

I have now for a while been practicing living the word STRUCTURE. Thus far I have come to see, realize and understand a couple of things in relation to living this word. Firstly, in order to be able to live structure it is important to follow through on my plans – because structuring my life through using timetables, calendars and to-do-lists is only worthwhile if I actually commit myself to follow these. Hence, the word/expression ‘follow-through’ I have found to be very important.

Closely related to ‘follow-through’ is discipline. I have realized that it takes discipline to live structure. For me, this is because I have a tendency to become too impulsive and spontaneous, and sometimes, motivated by stress/anxiety to try and take on and do all things at the same time. Utilizing discipline however, I can push myself to remain consistent and true to my plans – which helps me to remain earthed/practical/rational with regards to how I use my time. With Structure, I can create an overview, however it takes discipline to then stick to the small steps which I have mapped out from that ‘overview’ position – because when I am in the middle of everything – it is easy to get sidetracked and digress.

Living and standing as the word structure is thus a combination of many different words and expressions. This is what makes it challenging to live structure – and especially for me – the challenge has been remain true to my initial commitments. Hence, when I have noticed that I digress, I have applied a technique where I stop up, slow myself down, and breathe for a few moments, and then I return to that point of having a overview, and from there, I look at what is required to be done next. And usually, what causes me to digress is some form of feeling or emotional, where suddenly, I experience something different as very relevant to pursue, though when looking at the point objectively, with clarity, that urge/stress is in-fact not real.

I have also found that structure is not only about time, planning and what happens in my external reality. Structure can also be applied within me. For example, making a decision to always apply self-forgiveness upon, and direct internal experiences as they arise, that is a type and form of structure/platform. Or, simply writing a self-commitment statement, where I specify how to deal with and direct myself in relation to a certain point, that is a form of structure. Thus – structure is an expansive word – that can be lived in a variety of ways – and thus far – I have primarily explored it in the context of work/career – however I do see a lot of potential with regards to living the word in other parts of my life as well.

 


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Day 384: Solving Fear With Structure

I have worked a lot with fear, anxiety and insecurity in relation to work and managed to stabilize myself in many dimensions/areas. However, what is cool, and also challenging about my work, is that I am continuously moving into more expansive positions of responsibility, which then opens up new experiences/dimensions of anxiety, fear and insecurity. I have realized that there are a couple of things that assists and supports me to remain stable at work. Firstly, structuring and planning my work thoroughly assists and supports me to remain stable. Secondly, preparing myself and devoting the time and effort required for me to be fully knowledgeable as to the point I am directing assists and supports me to remain stable. Though, recently with work, because I have been given new responsibilities, it has been more difficult to fall back on my previous tools.

There are primarily two things that builds this pressure within me. It is the fear of making a mistake, mishandling my responsibilities, and facing critique/anger from colleagues and others – and it is the feeling that there is too much, too many responsibilities, and too little time for me to effectively handle them. The latter of these pressure points is not only mind-based – it is a fact that I have little time – and to get to all my responsibilities – it is hence important that I am efficient, precise, prepared and structured – because that enables me to walk through it effectively. The former, the fear of mishandling my responsibilities, is however a mind point, in the sense that, it does not make sense to worry about critique/anger that I might potentially face from others, as it should not affect who I am anyway. Hence, it is these two points, and my relationship to these points that I want to work with. If I am able to stabilize these points – I know that I will be able to work and care for my responsibilities without going into pressure/anxiety/fear.

Thus during the past week I have worked with the word STRUCTURE. Initially I found this word empty and vague. Though, as I considered, looked at, and practiced implementing structure into my life, I came to see that structure is very much practical. Living the word structure is not the same as having routines – because routines does not necessarily have to be structured. In the word structured there is an element of prudence, sagacity and foresight. When something is structured, it is planned, it is considered, it is a plan develop with clarity and understanding. A routine on the other hand is simply something I do because I have done it other times. Structuring my life requires intelligence and self-movement.

I practiced structure through pushing myself to take one day each week, either at the beginning or the end, to plan the week ahead, using ‘to-do-lists’ and basic timetables. This then gave me the opportunity to slow down and look at my work and my home-life from a birds eye-view – which would allow me to prioritize, plan-ahead, consider, refine, and prepare myself for the week to come – so that nothing would come as a surprise. The results of this practice was that I remained grounded and stable throughout my week. When something unexpected came along, I dealt with that, however when that point was sorted out, I would return to the plan.

Another way which I would live structure was to already before I went to take my coffee break, decide on how long it was going to be. I did this because I have a tendency to otherwise, sit at the table, and wait until some of my colleagues leave, and then get up and back to work. However, when I do that, this is sometimes compromising, because I will loose time, that would have been better used working. This, similarly supported me to remain stable, to know what was coming, to know what I was doing, when I was doing it, and how I was doing it.

Hence, structure, a very interesting word, and I have come to see that it is in-fact practical, concrete and very much earthed. Living and integrating structure has however been quite challenging, because I have a tendency to ‘flow out’ into unstructured and spontaneous activity – and although I enjoy this form of expression at times – it is not very supportive to live like this all the time. In other words, it is always supportive to have a direction, though that should not limit me from improvising when it is needed, or I decide to do so, because it is something that I want to experience.

I will continue to experiment with the word structure in the week to come. Will be back with updates.

 


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Day 365: Conditioning Self-Expression

Today I took some time to direct a couple of my material belongings that had been put in storage. I approached the project with the starting point that I had to make a decision for each of my belongings as to what was going to happen to it – what purpose it was going to have for the future to come. The things which I had not used in a couple of years I decided to give away – this group of things included a saxophone and a electric drum set. The underlying principle I applied was simple, with me these possessions were not used to their full potential, and by giving them away to someone that would actually use them, that would support fulfilling both the recipients expression and the instruments potential; in other words – giving the instruments away would be what is best for all.

However, and here is where it starts to get interesting, as I had made the decision to give away the instruments, I began to have second thoughts, and the backchat that moved within me was something along the following lines: ‘What if I will miss these instruments? I might want to play them at a later stage, and then I will not have them! Man, before when I was a bit younger, I played a lot of music, now I do not anymore, I really miss that’. Thus, my initial backchat was initiated by a fear of loss, and then my mind moved to how I miss playing instruments and having music as a part of my life – that latter part of the backchat as well motivated by a fear – a fear that I had lost these expressions of myself which I had accessed when I was younger as part of playing my instruments and devoting myself to music.

The experience took me by surprise, because I had seen that I was finished with these instruments, that I had used them and that I was satisfied with what I had expressed and achieved, though now with this fear coming up, I started to doubt myself. I took a breath and gave myself a moment to stabilize – and I looked at the point within myself.

I could see that practically speaking, I did not use the instruments. Not because I was hindered to do so, but because I had moved into a new part of my life where these instruments did not have the same role to fulfill. I could see that I was satisfied and fulfilled in terms of having explored and pushed myself to develop a relationship with the instruments and that I was ready to let them go. Thus, the fear did not have anything to do with my practical reality – it was all about myself – and how I was actually afraid of moving on and embracing the new expression of myself that have started to come through within me and my life – where my relationship with music and instruments has begun to change.

Because music and the expressions that I could access and live with my instruments, they are still part of my life, however the structure of my life today is different. Now, I express myself with music by singing songs that I really enjoy out loud, together with a stereo blasting the track at the same time – and the creative part of music – which I before expressed through writing and composing songs – that has become part of my job – where I spend a lot of time writing – and my carpentry hobby – where I must use my imagination and problem solving skills to create and find solutions.

Thus – with giving away some of my instruments – I am not giving away the expressions that I have developed and lived in making music – because those expressions are a part of ME – as such I see that it is important to not get lost in the structure and picture of this world – and relate what I experience and live to the images – because it is not about what it looks like – it is about WHO I AM – and HOW I EXPRESS myself within what I do.

I have found that it is easy to forget this, because the images seems to be so important, however looking back out my life, what has always been a constant is that the images change. My world will move, transform, become different, but I remain, which also exemplifies why it is so important to place attention and focus on developing OURSELVES – and not lose ourselves in the evanescent creations/allures of money and consumerism that so easily grip our attention and that we convince ourselves is the most significant point within our lives.


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Day 334: Let Me Get Organized!

The problem

There is a reason that this blog is called a dreamers journey to life. The reason being, that I am a dreamer. As a dreamer, the way I approach tasks, schedule my week, handle my work responsibilities, is many times quite chaotic. This is not because I am a irresponsible person, or because I do not care about making the best of my days, it is because I tend to be more in a state of what I next, and also because, I at the same time get very caught up in THIS MOMENT, where I start to analyze, consider, and look at what is here, to such an extent that I loose track of time. Ergo, this set of conditions have lead to the following consequences: I forget things, I handle things in a rush because there is no adequate plan and not enough time time.

I discussed this tendency of mine with a friend, and within that I could see that a appropriate word for me to practice living is ORGANIZE. Hence, in the following blog, I will redefine, and look at how I can practically live this word in my day to day living.

Redefining the Word Organize

How I have lived the word thus far in my life

My lack of organizational skills became apparent to me when I started high school. With more subjects, classes, and exams, it got increasingly difficult to have everything in my head. And then, on-top of school, I had hobbies, and leisurely interests, which I also had to keep track of. Needless to say, this resulted in me forgetting things, and because I was not used to utilizing a calendar, or a almanac – and because I did not at that point in my life regard the consequences as sufficiently severe – I simply allowed this problem to fester. I enjoyed to see myself as a free spirit, easy going, boundless, creative and imaginative, and obviously NOT tied down to boring, time-based conditions.

However, as I began university, I started to apply myself more when it came to organization. I developed time management skills, learned how to plan my studies, and make sure that I had sufficient with time to handle my responsibilities, and got quite good at it. However, only to a certain extent. I was still quite chaotic in how I approached things, and in my private sphere, where I was not forced organize in the same way, I simply did not do it.

One could thus say, that the reason I have not applied and become effective with the word organize, is because I have not practiced it enough and deliberately made it a part of my life.

Current definition

Dictionary definition

  1. arrange systematically; order: organize lessons in a planned way.
    • coordinate the activities of (a person or group) efficiently: she was unsuited to anything where she had to organize herself.
    • form (a number of people) into a trade union or other political group: we all believed in the need to organize women.
  2. make arrangements or preparations for (an event or activity): social programmes are organized by the school.
    • take responsibility for providing or arranging: Julie organized food and drink for the band.
  3. archaic arrange or form into a living being or tissue.

Etymology

Organize
early 15c., “construct, establish,” from Middle French organiser and directly from Medieval Latin organizare, from Latin organum “instrument, organ” (see organ). Related: Organized; organizing.

Organized
1590s, “furnished with organs,” past participle adjective from organize (v.). Meaning “forming a whole of interdependent parts” is from 1817. Organized crime attested from 1929.

Sounding the word

Organ-eyes

Or-gone-eyes

Organ-I-See

Or-gain-I-See

Creative Writing

An organ, which is a independent part or function within a greater whole, is part of the word organize. Further, in organize we find the words I-See, thus forming the sentence, Organ I See – and this to me goes to show that organize is about seeing various parts, how they work together, and how to direct them, in a holistic way. Thus living the word organize, is about having an overview, seeing all the various organs that form my day in my life, and each day, as a organ that form part of my life. I have the organ of waking up, the organ of eating breakfast, preparing myself for work, using my car, all of these aspects are important to take into consideration when I create my day – and if I loose perspective – and only place focus on ONE organ – such as for example one particular task that I have to get done at work – then my day will not function effectively as I will not pay adequate attention to the other organs of my life.

An important part of living the word organized is thus to remain grounded, to breath, and to not loose myself only ONE moment, but to keep an overview of where I am going next, while at the same time, placing the necessary attention on the ORGAN/MOMENT that I am participating i HERE.

Redefinition

Seeing, directing and structuring independent parts to create an efficient whole

Practical living application

How am I able to live this word practically in my day to day living?

  • At the beginning of my day, look at what must be done that particular day, walk through it in my mind, see the various individual parts, and structure them into a efficient whole
  • At the end of each week, sit down with myself and look at what must be done the coming week, and use my calendar, or almanac to see and take notice of each individual part that make up my coming week, and structure them into a efficient whole
  • When I approach a task, look at what parts the task contain, and how I am able to systematize and structure these parts to form an efficient whole
  • To ask throughout my day, stop for moments, and look ahead, to see whether there is parts in my day that I must take into consideration and act upon – and to see how I can structure them into the flow of my day
  • To use routine, and systems to make daily living easier, for example, through always putting my keys in the same place as I get home, through noting down things (parts of my day) that I suspect I will forget otherwise
  • To consistently, and persistently use to-do lists, and my almanac to structure my life, and make sure that I get to the things which I need to get to
  • To not trust that I will remember things, and instead note it down.

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Day 304: Scripting Care

When we enter into a relationships, most of us foolishly believes that our partner understands us and that we put the same meaning and value into the words we speak and behaviors we embody. This is however not the case. Even if we are similar to our partner, we must consider that we have grown up in different families, been exposed to different life circumstances, participated in different thoughts, and built our inner coping mechanisms in a variety of different ways. As such, when we look at the details of two individuals, regardless of how much in love they might feel, they are very different.

This is in itself not a problem, unless we assume that our words mean the same as our partners words, and we furthermore take for granted that no work or effort must be invested into establishing an equality and mutual understanding when it comes to words and their meanings. Recently I have faced some conflicts in my agreement due to how I have had one definition/application/understanding of the word CARE and how my partner had another. The fascinating thing about this conflict is that we simply could not understand one another. While I acted/lived in one way, and thought of this as normal, my partner would interpret and see this behavior a completely different way – and the reason? We had not created an equal understanding/application/definition of the word care.

Now, in looking at the word care I realized a peculiar thing. I have not ever had care expressed/lived in my world the way in which my partner has. For me, the word CARE did not imply, for example, hugging, being concerned, being affectionate with physical touching, and I interestingly enough had NO reference at all to this word and HOW to live it in the physical – I felt like a blank slate. And this is important to realize with physical living – we are only that which we have programmed/designed ourselves to be. If we have not consciously made an effort to develop ourselves as a certain word, and we have not been exposed to that word during our developmental years, we will most likely NOT be able to live/understand/express that word effectively in thought, word and deed. This is why parents hold such an important responsibility to effectively develop and expand themselves in their application and living of words, as they will transfer these skills/abilities to their children. And this does not happen consciously – it happens on a quantum level – immediately – as children are like sponges – sucking up all the information in their environment and then form their own personality designs using this information.

As such, because I had not been exposed to the word care, because my parents had not effectively developed the expression of CARE to its full potential, I could not understand what my partner was telling me, when she asked me to become more caring. Words are powerful tools, and when developed, expanded and refined, they are the building blocks of a successful human being – and this goes with all areas of life. From relationships to career – it is all a matter of the words we live and understand.

Because I was a blank slate with regards to the word CARE – I have now pushed myself to redefine, live and expand my application in relation to this word. And here, the process of creation is similar to that of acting. In order to change my living behavior, I require a SCRIPT – and this SCRIPT must be designed to be initiated through certain CUES – thus giving myself CLUES as to WHEN it is effective and supportive to apply/live/express myself as the word care. For example, when I can see that my partner is stressed/anxious/worried – this is a CUE to instigate the SCRIPT of CARE – where I for example – decide to sit down and communicate with my partner to hear her out – or where I go and hug my partner to offer my physical presence as a point of stability. Hence, to create myself as a new word, I require to DEFINE for myself what that word is, how it is applied, and lived IN THE PHYSICAL – this becomes my SCRIPT – that I then put into creation when and as I see that it will lead to a supportive outcome that is best for all. And this is the fascinating, and empowering process of self-creation using words. And when partners do this together, the relationship will flourish, expand and become fulfilling.

For anyone wanting to create their lives and themselves to be the best I suggest investigating the process of redefining words – it is a essential life skill to learn in order to build sustainable, effective, and stable life structures. Check out the School of Ultimate Living for courses on redefining words.

Some suggested reads:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/08/day-116-re-defining-words-to-living.html

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/04/day-5-in-beginning-was-god.html

Day 243: Changes

From living in the city, to living on a farm – that has been a primary point of transition that I have been walking through during the recent weeks. It has been interesting seeing how this change has influenced me, and how the experience that has been following this change is that of feeling uprooted, and feeling as if everything has been thrown into the air, a lot of parts, flying around, and not really seeing where or when they are going to land.

My own assessment of the point, and why this experience has come up within me, is due to how my routine is not anymore here. Before, I had a very strict and easy routine that I followed – and at that – I was studying and knew how many books I had to read till what date, and what places to go to, and what people to meet. My reality was settled, everything was in its place and I was to a certain degree comfortable. Now with the move, that comfort is gone, because now there is no more routine, my studies are finished, I am moving a couple of projects at the same time, and there is experience of rushing to get to something, though I don’t particularly know what that something I should get to is.

So, the purpose with this blog is basically to describe for myself what it is that I have been going through, and also to assist and support others that might be facing a similar event in their lives = CHANGE. What should be understood about change is that it isn’t a bad thing; neither is having your routines being uprooted, because these points do come with opportunities for self-expansion.

In my case, I can see that the challenge before me, and what I require to do in order to get back my grounding, is to structure and schedule my day more specifically, and decide for myself when I am going to do certain things, and when I am going to do other things. So far, I have taken it very much day by day, this approach is cool in some contexts, though when there is a lot of projects to get to, many responsibilities to oversee, many points to move – then it’s supportive with a structure – a game plan.

Though, a game plan isn’t enough, on top of having a game plan I see that it’s important for me to practice slowing down, and practice letting go of control, such as the desire to get to ‘everything’ and move ‘all points’ – and within this understand, that I can only do SO MUCH in a day, I can only get to THAT many points in a week – and taking on too much will lead to an experience of stress, and feeling of being stretched to thinly, because that is literally what is happening.

Thus – to support myself to stabilize I am going to apply self-forgiveness on the various reactions of stress, and anxiety that I have towards loosing my routine, and also support myself to establish a new routine, a schedule, and a game plan that I am following – so that I know were I am going, when I am going, and how I am going there.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear, and anxiety when my routine disappears, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become anxious, and worried that I can’t anymore with the same ease as before, evaluate, and expect when, and how things are going to develop, and how my life is going to proceed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have expectations upon myself as to how much I am to get to, and what I should be able to move during my day, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety, and fear when and as I perceive that I am not moving points as fast, and as effectively as I foresaw, and imagined myself doing, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear, when points doesn’t moving according expectations, instead of supporting myself, and assisting myself to stabilize, and see how I am able to restructure my reality, and my physical environment to become more effective, and aligned with what I wish to create, and how I can align myself more effectively to the physical reality, so that I am not in a state of conflict with what is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear to the point of investing a lot of time in my home, and my living quarters, in feeling that this is stealing time from me, it’s thieving on my valuable resource of time that I must protect dearly in order to be able to create for myself my goals, and imaginations, of what I am to do in life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anxiety, and fear when I invest time in my living quarters, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that it’s not necessarily something bad, because at certain times you must tend to your living space, else it will deteriorate, and that would be a point of neglect, thus it’s common sense to dedicate some of your time to your home, and the place which you spend your time, so that all points are effectively cared for and works optimally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear, and anxiety when things change in my environment, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being, and becoming weak, due to having these experiences, thinking that it’s signifying that I am becoming old, and unable to cope with reality as effectively as when I was younger, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be gentle with myself in facing these experiences, in realizing that I don’t have to be hard on myself, and believe that I am in anyway less than others, due to these points arising within me – and instead I am able to immediately, as the experiences come up within me, look for corrections, to stabilize and ground myself and bring myself back here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in feeling destabilized when and as I change my physical environment, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change WHO I AM, when my surroundings change, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how the key to walking within and as stability in this world, is the point of being in this world, but not of this world – to stand within me in stability and thus instead of getting into a conflict with the change that occurs around me – move with the change – move with the new environment – move with what is here around me – and realize that it’s nothing bad, dangerous, or threatening – it’s simply a point of change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into and as fear, and anxiety when I look at what is here currently in my life, and then compare it to my goals, and what I wish to create in this life, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that regardless of what physical environment I create in this life, one thing will always remain the same, ME and MY relationship with and as myself, that will and won’t ever change – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that these mental projections into the future of seeing a different me out there, they aren’t real, and thus the only place to begin something is HERE – the only place to live – is HERE – the only place to walk process and birth myself from the physical – is HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that life is HERE, that creation is HERE, that there is no such thing as a future within which I will feel differently due to the things that surround me, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that creating life is a process that is walked in every moment of every breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace creating myself, and my life in every moment of breath, and seeing, realizing and understanding that process and the birthing of life will never happen out there in a projection – it’s something that is walked and created on a breath per breath basis – and thus I commit myself to practice and align myself with HERE, with directing, moving and sorting points out immediately HERE

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I go into a stress, and anxiety, due to me feeling that my world isn’t effectively structured, and that I have no real grounding, and that I don’t know where I am going, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that it’s not a solution to remain in these experiences, because fear, and anxiety doesn’t assist and support me to in anyway move forward, and thus I commit myself to in that moment take breath, stop myself, and then for a moment, look at my day within me, what I have to do, and then make some basic decisions as to how to structure my day, and also within this remember, that I might not get to everything – and that this is cool – it’s okay – and nothing to judge myself for

I commit myself to become the directive principle of my own day, through learning to effectively structure, prioritize, and build the contents of my day, and within this ground myself, and remain here, realizing that it’s only me that can give myself an oversight, and a structured routine, I have to build and establish this for myself, and it won’t come by itself

When and as I go into stress, and anxiety, because I feel that I haven’t gotten to something, that I expected of myself that I would, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that this experience is an illusion, and that it’s not me that there is a problem, rather I have not assessed my time properly, or taken on too much in my life, and thus I require align my requirements of what I am to do with the actual time available to me, and practice being more disciplined in saying NO – to not take on things without really considering whether it’s practical and viable for me to walk them – and thus live the phrase – Quality before Quantity

Day 34: Working With What Is Real

In the last blog – which you can read HERE – I took a part nervousness from the perspective of seeing what positive experiences I’ve connected to me for example standing in front of my class holding a presentation, or writing my exams – and the reason for this is to remove my idea(L) that I have of myself – as to who I believe/want to be – and instead get down to the nitty gritty of working with how I in-fact experience myself when it is that I stand before many people, or I do my exams.

Thus – today I am going to work my actual physical experience when I do exams, or hold a presentation – and I will also simultaneously walk the point of stopping conflict within me – in seeing that I don’t have to fight the real experience of me because it apparently doesn’t coincide with my idea-experience of myself as how I think I should experience myself – I mean – there is no need to fight what I already exist and live as – instead it’s to understand, and get to know the real me – and then place myself in a position wherein I am able to actually and for real correct myself.

NervousnessBlogSo – how do I really experience myself in these situations? Well – I become physically tense, and go into nervousness – which results in me not being able to effectively deal with the situation. One of the reasons for this is because I don’t know who to be – I don’t know how to look – I don’t know how to present myself – I have no real foundation so to speak. This is though something I’ve already worked with when I’ve prepared myself for my exams – I’ve actually structured a systematic structure as a way which I am to answer questions – and I this was effective to keep me more stable in the moment of writing my exams. For example – in my structure I stated that I must read slowly, and be focused on the words that are written on the question I am given – I must not jump, and stress through the initial stage of reading the question because then I will miss important information; and as I applied this on my exams – I was actually much more stable.

So – establishing a foundation – a MEness – that is important because that is something I currently lack – and I see that this will be done through writing out a structured way as to how to walk the point, who I am within in, and what specifically I am going to do – and then walking this physically.

A second prominent point that comes up is fear of the unknown – because I can’t really prepare myself completely when I am facing an event such as an exam, or a presentation – because there is always that small point of a uncertainty – a probability that something might go wrong, and that I then as this happen – won’t be prepared to deal with the consequences effectively.

Thus – another important point to establish is self-trust – because I see that in standing as self-trust – I will not fear the unknown as I will trust myself to direct myself through the point of the unknown and deal with any situation that might emerge.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown, and distrust myself in the face of the unknown – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to read a situation – and understand how a situation might respond to me – and what I must say, or do for the situation to respond to me in a way that I experience as being positive – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can’t trust myself – and that when I trust myself something will go wrong, and I won’t be able to correct the mistakes that flows from this wrongness

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having information as to what will happen if I say, or do a certain thing – so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being blind so to speak, in not being able to calculate the consequences of my actions – and how others will see, and experience me – when it is that I act and live in particular ways – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, and perceive that I require information, knowledge, and being able to calculate future consequences in order to be “safe” and trust myself

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that trusting myself is something that happens to me when I am able to know what is going to happen in the future – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone me trusting myself, and prevent me from trusting myself in thinking and believing that I must have something more – I must get something more – I must achieve something more – and I must wait before someone give me a permission that I am able to trust myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not BREATH – be HERE – and to get myself moving within and as oneness and equality as my human physical body – and stop waiting for someone, or something else to save me before I trust myself here

4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that I am not yet mature enough to trust myself – and that trusting myself is something that comes, and happens with age – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of my fear, and my anxiety – and my worry, and my nervousness – and to see, realize, and understand that self-trust does not develop through waiting – but through me deciding, and willing myself to develop self-trust – through actually living and walking in such a way that I am able to trust that who I am is what is best for all – and that I will not compromise myself and fall prey to experiences, and illusions of and as the mind

5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive, and believe that I need, and require someone else to tell me that I am ready to trust myself – and that I am ready to go – so to speak – instead of accepting and allowing myself to say to myself that – hey! I am ready when I decide to be ready! And as such – I am able to decide here that I trust myself – and to stop fearing the unknown – to stop fearing trusting myself – and simply do it – and as such apply the statement of “just do it!” – because really that is what it all comes down to – to actually make the decision and walk the decision – and in-fact do it!

Self-commitment statements

1. When and as I feel, and experience that I can’t trust myself – because something will go wrong when I trust myself – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – the fact is that what I experience is – a experience! Thus – a experience indicates that what is coming up within me is coming from the mind – automatically activated without my direct movement, and decision – and thus it’s not trustworthy; as such I commit myself to not trust the experience of myself that I can’t trust myself because something will go wrong – and I commit myself to act – and decide to trust myself here in this moment

2. When and as I see, and notice that I experience fear trusting myself – because I think that I can’t trust myself if I am not able to know the consequences of my actions beforehand – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I can decide to trust myself regardless of the situation that I am in – or the point that I am facing – simply because it’s about SELF-trust – and not about OTHER-trust – and thus I commit myself to decide to trust myself – and see that it’s only me that can decide and walk this point for myself here

3. When and as I see, and notice that I think, and experience that I must wait with trusting myself – because I must have something more, achieve something more, and get someone to allow me to trust myself – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – it’s about me taking a decision and trusting myself – thus I can’t wait for my environment to change me – I must stand as the catalyst – I must stand as the start – and I must take the first step and not allow myself to wait anymore; as such I commit myself to practice trusting myself as a self-decision in the moment – that I walk regardless of what it is that I am facing here in this moment

4. When it is that I see I go into and as a belief that I can’t trust myself because I am not yet mature enough, and that I can’t direct myself to trust myself because this is something that happens with time, and as I grow older – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – I mean – to believe that I will be able to trust myself more with time is simply an illusion – because look at most old people –they’ve also no self-trust and they’ve walked an entire lifetime in this world; as such I commit myself to stop using this excuse – to bring myself back here – and to see that I have to decide to trust myself – I have to stop waiting – and I have to actually do it because no one will do it for me

5. When and as I see that I am waiting to trust myself, because I feel that I have to have someone that tells me that – “okay, now you can trust yourself!” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this point of deciding to trust myself is something that I must give to myself, and nobody will say to me ever that “now I can trust myself” and even if they do – the decision is still MINE because there is only ME inside of ME – thus only ME that can decide who I am – and what I will live, and stand as; as such I commit myself to make the decision to trust myself HERE and without waiting and postponing

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