Tag Archives: stuck

Day 363: Putting Some Color In Daily Living

Life is a lot about routines. It is a lot about doing the same thing over and over again with very little variance – unless – it is done differently. And this is what I want to pursue the coming week – create variance/exploration in the small and mundane – in that which recurs day after day, week after week.

What I have realized is that it is not possible to escape routine – it is a cemented part of daily living. We have to eat, we have to shit, we have to sleep. And then you have to survive, and there are many routine actions connected to survival; working, cooking, cleaning and so on. Then there are a few breaks from the routine. There are moments that can be spent on a hobby, on traveling and exploring, on moving out from the routine – though – seen as a whole – those moments are few and far in-between.

The main stream opinion is that routines are bad, limiting, confining, and that we need to escape them from time to time. Because the general view on routines are negative, a lot of people live out their lives in a fight against the routine that floods their lives. We sit by our desks at work the entire week longing to go somewhere else, and then when Friday arrives, we finally feel FREE – and we go out and party to break the monotonous daily struggle. Alcohol and other drugs are used to feel free, excited, special – something MORE than what we normally experience throughout the week.

In this blog however, I am going to advocate a different solution to routine. Firstly, I want to stress that routines are not bad. It is not the routine in itself that makes a moment uneventful and unexciting. Routines are merely, a part of life, and actually, they offer opportunities for us to practice and create INTEREST – real INTEREST – in the sense that we literally have to decide to be interested and present in what we are doing.

Secondly, it might be that it is exciting to do something different and live without routines, though routines do have a quality in that they bring stability and clarity. With a good routine, we can put our attention unto more important things. An example would be, that if we have a good routine when it comes to waking up and preparing for work, then we can instead put our attention/effort into being aware of the environment ad being more physical and grounded. Routines thus, are effective in establishing a solid structure, that can be used as a support to start developing internal living skills, such as presence. Having routines also makes life predictable. And while that might not be good every time, it is supportive when it comes to relationships and communication. Because with a good routine established, everyone involved knows what to do and what to expect – there are no surprises.

Thus, routines are cool – however – there is a problem if we accept and allow ourselves to become mentally and physically limited by our routines . When we do not allow ourselves to test something new, or when we are faced with something new, but we stick to our routine anyway, that causes problems, instead of being flexible and tackling the new issue with a new solution. Routines must not become a comfort zone and that can easily happen when we begin to trust our routines more than we trust ourselves. In such instances it can be scary to push beyond a routine and try something different – here its important to remember that it was us that created the routine and as such we are also able to create something new in its place.

For me lately I have faced the point of judging routines, and feeling limited, confined and held back by them. Obviously, this has to do with the point that I have recently become a father. My baby is very much bound and supported by having routines – which is why I have adapted and begun to create more of them. It is challenging in the sense that life without routines feels exciting, fresh and rejuvenated. Life with routines on the other hand can easily feel stuck, uninspiring and trite. What I have realized is that we do not have to experience routines like this. We are able to use the supportive stability and structure that routines offers while at the same time being inspired, refreshed and new. It is all a matter of changing our approach – our STARTING POINT to life – to routines as a matter of fact.

An example would be the following: I wake up on a Monday morning. My routine is to get out of bed, make breakfast, shower, dress and get to work. It is basically the same every day. However, each of these moments in my morning, even though I have lived them countless of times before, offers and opportunity for me to create something new. Let me take the first moment in my morning, get out of bed. That can be done in many ways. What I have done as of recent is to remain in my bed for a while after I have and give myself a moment to feel my body. To breathe, relax my muscles, and prepare myself for the day to come. To check in with myself and decide upon what words/expressions that I am going to push/pursue in the coming day.

Then with preparing and eating my breakfast. Here, what I have done is that I have covered myself with a blanket and eaten the breakfast in the sofa and pushed myself to relax and enjoy my breakfast. A moment of silence, breathing and preparing myself to go out into the world. At work, I have pushed myself to start taking walks each day after lunch – as a way to stretch my legs and support my general well being. And this is something I have had to will myself to do – because my tendency have been to feel that I do not have enough time to go for a walk. It is interesting how the mind works in this regard. The only thing that is seen as adding to productivity is that which is seen to have a direct connection with manifestation of a project/task. However, all of the soft values, such as feeling rested, replenished and rejuvenated, stretched and content in my body, those are not seen as important. That is obviously a mistake. For me, I can clearly see the difference in how I am a lot more efficient when I am rested and refreshed, compared to when I am stressed and strained.

Routines thus, they are meant to be redirected and walked within awareness. Supportive habits could be one of the most empowering things that I have experienced. Things that I do on a daily basis that supports the well being of me and others. Hence, I will not judge routines anymore, but rather learn to live with them and make the most of them.


Day 205: Stressed-out when expected to perform

Today at my job I was driving some customers to the location where they wanted to be dropped off (I’m working as a cab driver) – and up until that point everything went smoothly. But, when I was about to handle the money transaction, the system that I use to wire these payments suddenly stopped working – and due to that the customers had to sit in the car and wait for me to restart the system and re-do the entire process of handling the money transaction – and this was the first point of stress.

The second point of stress that then entered the picture was a car in-front of mine, because as I’d stopped at the end location and begun the process of arranging the payments – a man walked out of a building and entered into his car that was just beside where I’d placed mine, and that car had now been blocked on the driveway and was unable to move out on the streets – and on top of that the location in itself was extremely tight and there wasn’t much space for errors when navigating the car.

So, in the same span of time I’d to deal with these two stressors, and that made me jumpy – worried about the customers experiences, worried about the experience of the driver in the other car that I was now blocking, and worried about the very tight spaces I’d to navigate. I noticed how my left calf tightened, and how my physical body became more hard and restricted – I was entering into a defense-mode where my perspective of the world changed from me being here – finding solutions – interacting and being stable – to survival mode.

Thus – I find it interesting that it wasn’t in particular the situation, as the various points that occurred at the same time, that was stressful – because I was very much aware of the cars, the customers, the tight spaces, and what was required to be done in order to get the point to a conclusion – what was stressful was that there where people involved – and that triggered the fear of conflict, the fear of dealing with pissed off and unhappy customers, and an equally pissed of an unhappy car owner that isn’t able to get out because I am blocking the driveway.

Though, it’s obvious that this fear isn’t necessary at all – because even before the fear emerged within me, I was dealing with the point, and that happened solely on a physical level – thus I see that these situations doesn’t have to be stressful or create angst within me – because they can be walked through physically, directed physically, and solved physically – only with the help and assistance of the human physical body – that is everything I need and require to walk through hectic situations and difficult problems.

Then it’s also to see, realize and understand that even though I do get fearful as to having others react in anger, and frustration, this won’t ameliorate the situation, it won’t prevent people from becoming pissed off and angry – rather it will just put me in a position of being worried and afraid, and then on-top of that someone might lash out anyhow – thus also here fear serves no practical purpose whatsoever – rather the solution is to focus on what must be directed, how must it be directed, what steps must be taken to steer the entire mishap or whatever is going on into a solution – thus the attention and focus must be on the SOLUTION – what can be practically and physically done to direct the point.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stressed out and worried when dealing with a situation where I’ve people around me that expect me to act, to think that I’m in their way and obstructing their life, and they want me to get a move on – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to such circumstances through going into stress, and fear – and worrying about what these other people are going to think of me – whether or whether not they might lash out upon me – whether or whether not they might be happy with me in the end – instead of accepting and allowing myself to focus upon the solution and what I’m able to practically do in order to ameliorate the situation at hand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become stressed out and worried when and as I perceive that I’m in the way of another, or causing another’s momentum to be obstructed – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately react within and as fear, anxiety and worry – believing that I must move myself as fast as possible, as to avoid a conflict, as to avoid the other person becoming angry at me, and lashing out upon me, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my focus and attention upon wanting to satisfy another, wanting to make sure that they aren’t going to in anyway lash out on me, or become angry and nasty with me, not seeing, realizing and understanding that in that I’m missing the solution – missing the practical point of direction that can be taken to correct the situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in stress and fear when and as I believe that others think I’m in their way, and their becoming angry at me – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others becoming angry at me, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tighten my body, and harden myself, when and as I perceive that others are becoming angry – thinking that this way I can create a form of shell around me, to push away and redirect any form of negative energy – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how anger isn’t a dangerous poison or force that I must shove away at any and all costs – but that anger is rather a energy and something that can move in me and through me without me being affected by it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to going into a state of physical hardness and inflexibility when and as I perceive that someone is getting annoyed and angry with me – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that this way I’m protecting myself from harm, this way I’m able to make sure that another doesn’t get to me unprepared, and take me by surprise – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become emotional and fearful – and try to solve and direct the situation in this fear – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the most effective way of dealing with this situation will be me remaining stable – remaining here with and as my human physical body – and me continuing to walk – to apply and direct myself in the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to deal with the situation that is before me effectively, I require to actually let go of the fear, let go of the stress, let go of thinking about what others might think about me, and how others might react towards me – because only then I can actually focus on the situation that is at hand – focus on the point that requires direction – focus on the point that must be moved – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and make sure that I place my attention and presence here in the physical and that I look at what is physically here and what must be practically done – and not going into that stress and anxiety experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that becoming stressed because I worry about how others might react towards me, is a valid stress, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not in the moments when this stressor emerge within me, stop this point, and direct it – but instead allow it to continue, and fester upon me, thinking that being stressed is the only way I’m able to deal with a situation characterized by pressure – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how there are other ways of dealing with pressure, and with difficult situations – realizing that fear and stress is not an effective motivator because they change my thinking, my way of looking at things, make me sloppy and hasty in moving through my life – which causes me to miss points – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to remain stable, and even though the situation is pressurizing – to walk it here within and as my human physical body in stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I perceive that another is becoming irritated with me because I am obstructing, or not behaving in a way he or she defines to be suitable, to go into wanting to please that person, and make that person happy and satisfied – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately want to make sure that the other person in question feels good again, feels satisfied and happy and content with my actions – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the actions that are in their very nature self-compromising, and that compromises my life and my position – to make sure I save myself from someone becoming angry at me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face the anger and irritation of another within and as stability – within and as physical presence and stability here wherein I hear the words or see the state of another – but I don’t accept and allow myself to react and take it personally – and believe that this state is some form of dangerous state that I must at any cost and price avoid and remove from my world forcefully – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the decision to face anger within and as stability – to when I notice that a fear emerge – or a stress emerge – to take the opportunity to stabilize myself in my chest area – apply self-forgiveness and release myself from the possession

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into stress, and worry, when I am in a pressured situation, and I perceive that others are expecting me to movie, and to apply myself to sort out the situation as fast as possible, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am in this moment limiting myself and my ability to effectively deal with and sort out the problem that I am facing, because my focus and attention goes to what others think, to fear, to stress, to an experience – instead of my attention being firmly placed here within and as my human physical body – within and as the presence of breathe here; and thus I commit myself re-align my focus to the physical – and re-align my focus to looking at what possible solutions there are that can be applied to direct the situation – and thus keep myself in the physical and not go into the mind – and live the moment from within and as energy

When and as I see that I am going into stress, because I fear that another will become angry, and annoyed with me, because I am not doing something fast or enough, or I am standing in the way of another, obstructing and taking their time, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and I see, realize and understand that through becoming stressed about possible lashing out, and irritations, I’m limiting myself because my focus becomes upon pleasing others, making sure that others don’t respond and react, and in that I miss the physical, miss directing myself here according to what is best for all – to what is see is common sense – and what I see will work effectively; and thus I commit myself to take a breath and to bring myself back here – and place my focus on the physical reality and look for what is common sense – what is best for all – and then walk that point of what is best for all and realize that this point takes priority before someone getting annoyed and angry with me – that what is best for all must come first every time

Commuters Stuck Due To Storm

Yesterday there was a big storm in Sweden; this resulted in a tree blowing down upon some train tracks. This then resulted in trains being unable to leave. This then resulted in people not being able to follow their time schedule, and finally – this then resulted in people becoming pissed off.

So, what are we facing here? We are facing a consequence that people become pissed of that they are not able to get to their appointments in time. They very reason as to why people have schedules, appointments, and times that they must watch – is because our current money system demands it.

And why is it so?

Our current money demands that you schedule your time, and you make, and follow certain appointments, because time is money. If you do not schedule your time, make appointments as effectively as possible – you will loose out on time – you will loose out on profit – you will loose out on Money. So, people are stuck, not able to achieve their days set goal of earning money – which then makes people frustrated and pissed off.

So, what would change in a Equal Money System?

Firstly – people wouldn’t have gone up early in the morning, place themselves on a train, travel for several hours, to get to their job and make money. The entire construction of our current commuting system is completely delusional – why spend several hours a day on a train, when you could do something that you enjoy? Our commuting system is but one of MANY examples that show us how stupid and delusional our current money system is – where the time in itself isn’t worth that much, only how much money you can earn during this time.

So anyway, in an Equal Money System, you wouldn’t require to set appointments, to schedule your week as effectively as possible, in order to ensure your income and as such – your survival. Your survival would be unconditionally given to you. Food – water – housing – clothing – maintenance – people would actually assist and support you to survive.

And, you wouldn’t have to commute for 2 hours, to a big city, where you happen to have your crappy and boring job – no. Labor, not work, would be supplied for you close to your home – within and as a practical starting point as what would be required in your community – utilizing your skills – your specific likes, as to how you like to express and experience yourself. Wherein – you would actually do something of benefit to your community, maybe – be a daycare teacher or, a gardener? There are lot’s of possibilities, all better than our current way of working – wherein we get a job – that’s only focused around doing a, enormously, stupid, arbitrary action, repetitive, and without any other purpose to it than making money – often several miles away from your home, in a big town, because that’s where all the money is. That’s it unpractical for you, that you will have to travel for several hours a day, that you dislike your job, that you job lacks any real productive value – that’s disregarded in our current money system – completely, because here – everything – EVERYTHING – is about making money.

So, fascinating to see that in an Equal Money System this chaos of the trains non-departed, wouldn’t have happened. In a Equal Money System, commuting would be done within and as practicality, and as such, not at all as many people as there are currently would be forced to commute. Maybe, when you decide to go meet your friends, or when you decide to go on a holiday – that’s when you commute – not when you are to go to your job each morning.

So – in an Equal Money System people wouldn’t have become pissed off at the trains, people wouldn’t have been stuck at a train station for an entire night, there wouldn’t have been the pressure, the anxiety, the complete fear in people to earn, save up, build up money each day – it would have been unconditionally given. And then labor – would have been done within and as a separate system, as the labor system – where labor would have been done, not for profit, but within and as actual practical physical need and requirements.

So, investigate the Equal Money Solution – if you as me, dislike to be trapped at a train station – waiting to commute – only from the starting point of earning money. It’s simply bullshit. Investigate Equal Money.