Tag Archives: success

Day 383: Projections and Imaginations

I find it easy to become distracted by material things. For a while I have becoming increasingly enthusiastic, and equally anxious about changing/altering/refining certain parts of my living quarters. From being an innocent hobby, it has escalated, and moved, and now, I am basically daily imagining and fantasizing about new projects. The problem is that it is done, usually, from a starting point of anxiety, from a starting point of lack, where I perceive that there is something amiss in my life at the moment, and that I desperately need to direct/change/alter the point in order to streamline my life. Hence, the problem is not the actual changes, alterations I want to make, the problem is WHO I AM. I see this experience as symptomatic – and fact is that I suspect it actually originates in a different part of my life – and that it then moves itself into for example the dimension of my life where I deal with hobbies.

Thus – the problem I would say – the actual deep rooted problem – is my habit of approaching things from within and as a starting point of lack/anxiety – because if I would have not done that – then the projects I see around my home would simply have been that – projects – that I might or might not get to one day that does not change WHO I AM in anyway what-so-ever. That is the point that I want to get to. Because I do not want to distract myself, and exist in this state of continuous fear/lack/anxiety that I am missing something, or that there is something I should be doing, that I am not doing. I will thus push myself to live the word abundance – to embrace the abundance that is all around me in my life in the form of the physical with all its various expressions – nature, breathing, sensations, physical relationships, I mean there is so much to be aware of and discover, that disappears when I accept and allow my mind to be cluttered by anxiety/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on new projects in my mind, and then become stressed when I notice that I do not have the time to fulfill/walk them completely, and then become stressed and anxious, because I still try to walk and complete them – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this behavior – to not question why I feel that need and urge to continue walking and pushing myself to complete and fulfill a particular point even though I notice there is not enough time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with taking on and moving new points into and as a form of fulfillment and completion – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to make my environment, my life, and my world seem perfect, and then create, and form all of these projects in my mind that I perceive I have to get to and finish for my life, and world to become what I want it to become, instead of remaining stable, and questioning this way of approaching life, questioning, why the hell I get this experience within me, and why I feel there is such a shortage of time, and why I require, or feel the requirement, and need to push myself so severely, and harshly, to ‘get by’ and ‘make it’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with achieving perfection in my outside world and reality – not seeing, realizing and understanding how this is literally a distraction – something that captures the attention of my mind – a point that I get focused and hooked upon – where I then lose touch and connection with reality because all of myself – all of my mind – is caught up in this state and experience of wanting to achieve perfection – picture perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to achieve material perfection through altering and changing my life to make sure that all parts of it works – and is perfect – that there is no flow – no mistake – nothing in my life that in anyway gives away that there is a problem and difficulty in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this way of becoming obsessed with the material side of my world as a way to escape and distract myself from walking my inner process of self-change and movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand what this tendency is showing to me – is that I too serious within myself when it comes to material success in this world – and that I am accepting and allowing myself to be all too possessed with making sure that I acquire material success and notoriety – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – and smell the roses – to push myself to walk in the moment and not be so serious and determined to reach some kind of future that is not even here – to reach a future that I am not even able to at this moment clarify to myself exactly where it is that I am going and why

When and as I see myself going into a imagination, looking at, projecting myself into the future, from a starting point of lack/anxiety/fear – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this way of approaching life is not realistic – it is based on a idea of lack and that I have to fight/move/push hard in order to stabilize my value and get to a point of equality – instead of embracing my equality HERE – embracing the abundance that is HERE – seeing, realizing and understanding that I do not need nor do I require to accept and allow myself to limit who I am according to what I am able to produce and build, create, in the external – and thus I commit myself to breathe – to let go of material possessions and the anxiety/fear related to these – and I commit myself to live abundance within and as every moment of breath – to use each moment to integrate and stand with and as my human physical body – and the abundance that is HERE

 


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Day 382: Achievement and Significance

The way I have decided upon a purpose and direction for myself in life has generally speaking been decided/moved by a feeling of pressure/stress/lack. Today I looked at one of the decisions I have made recently in my life, and I could see that this stress/pressure was part of my starting point – because of this I questioned the decision and decided to look deeper in the motivating factors.

What I could see was the following: My primary motivation was a emotion that ‘I am not doing enough’ – in short a emotion of inferiority, insignificance and insecurity – thus the decision was a way to balance out this inner experience and strive towards a positive polarity. Thus – what I have concluded is that in order to be able to make a decision – I have to first and foremost make sure that I am not driven and motivated by a irrational attempt to make an emotional (negative experience) into a positive experience – because through doing this – I will always be stuck in a loop – walking back and forth between a positive and a negative.

As I reflected on this point today I was able to see that this way of making decisions has in my past resulted in my creating unnecessary conflict and consequences in my life. I have forced myself to pursue and live in ways that have not been in alignment to how my life was in those moments. And I have given up on or compromised responsibilities and projects I had already decided to take on and be a part of because this other thing/decision I decided to walk.

Thus – what I can see is that the solution is to STOP trying to achieve a sense of significance through an experience/energy/feeling – significance – and what is of significance – must be a living and stable word in my life – something that I take with me and live/create every day – not by attempting to invoke feelings – but rather by living it practically and taking action in my daily life with what is already here and with the points/commitments I am already walking.

Further – the negative experience of insignificance and inferiority – these are mostly created by self-judgment and comparison – where I will judge where I am at and then try to become and make something more out of myself to ‘feel better’ – instead of – STOPPING the judgment and comparison – and focusing on making my life significant HERE through actually living it WHOLLY, FULLY and COMPLETELY – not a house divided – but ONE me HERE living and interacting fully.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not doing enough, to judge my life as not significant enough, to judge who I am, where I am, and what I am, and think that I have to become more – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at and define myself from within and as a starting point of comparison – instead of looking at myself and my life from within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move my life from a starting point of comparison – instead of developing self-assurance and self-confidence – and knowing what I want to create and do with myself and my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when my focus is out there, when my focus is trying to achieve a feeling of significance through being meaningful and special in eyes of others, that is when I loose touch with what is real, with real significance, real responsibility, real meaning, and instead, my life becomes focused on experiences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feel special and significant, instead of standing as/living those words practically – and here I see that special – and significance – it is practical words – practical words that can be applied and lived practically in my life through for example – making sure and pushing myself to live and apply words in my life in such a way that I each day find a word – and strive/push/will myself to live and implement it in my daily reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my emotional experience of feeling ‘not good enough’ and try to ‘fix it’ through creating a polarity opposite of ‘being good enough’ – not seeing, realizing and understanding that what I should be looking at is my relationship with and as myself – because I see that this is the relationship that I am projecting unto my world – and that it is not actually becoming significant and special out there – it is about me pushing myself to walk my personal process – pushing myself to change and live in expansive and new ways that are outside of my current zone of comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to ‘be someone’ in order to feel better about myself, feel more important, special, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my value, my significance, my role in this life, according to how much I feel that I am worth to others, according to how much I feel that I impress others, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath and bring myself back here to and as my human physical body – and live naturally, organically, see, realize and understand that significance is not something that is achieved through convincing others that I am good – significance is something that I live in each moment of breath by actually making the decision to change and move myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hunt for achievements and significance out there instead of looking within and looking at my relationship with myself to see how I am able to live these words within me – to hence understand– that I am projecting these words ‘out there’ because I have not effectively lived and stood as them within me – thus it is still something that I desire and want to happen to me – not something that I have created and lived for and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself looking for achievement and significance ‘out there’ – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I will never find what I am looking for out there in the world, I will never be able to satisfy and please my urges of achieving some form of notoriety, because it is not based on a real, practical, physical life experience – it is me wanting and desiring to fill a hole in my own relationship with myself with some form of experience – thus I commit myself to practically create significance and achievement in my life through living these words practically – significance – by pushing myself to change my personalities and patterns – the who I am – markedly – moving myself to a point of definitive change – where I push myself to life my full potential and be the best that I can be – and achievement – by pushing myself beyond my comfort zones – especially when it comes to changing my relationship with myself and what I will accept and allow – to thus push what I believe myself to be capable of – and walk it through to a conclusion – thus achieving


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Day 371: Chilling Out

Some time has passed since I finished my studies and got my first job – and in it has been a process with some changes. One of the biggest shifts has been that I have had a lot less time while working compared to when I was studying. This change took me by surprise and a couple of times, especially lately, I have reacted to the point that I do not have more time to my disposal. Instead of embracing the my life at moment simply does not contain the amount of leisure time that I had access to before, I have tried to handle it within the starting point of making myself more efficient. I do see that such a application is a cool way to tackle lack of time, however, it is also important to make sure that the decision to practice time efficiency is not based on fear or a reaction towards not having as much time  when compared to the past.

Last week I really pushed time efficiency, though afterwards, I could see that it was from within and as a starting point of fear – because I scurried about trying to do as much as possible without really getting anything done – and as I woke up the next morning – I could literally feel in my body how I had been moving myself too fast the day before. Another point that I could notice with how I moved myself was the way I prioritized the different activities/tasks were not effectively aligned. I felt pressured to continue certain tasks, that when looking at them objectively, were not in any way as urgent as I made them out to be.

Thus, there is a difference between being efficient with time and being stressed/uptight about time. The latter way of relating to time is when we believe that we should strive towards getting as much done as possible. Obviously, getting a lot of things done does not in itself mean that our life will be effectively organized and directed – because for us to be effective in that regard as well – we must be able to prioritize, to see the big picture, and ascertain as well as specify what order activities/tasks should be walked. When we are able to do that, as well as being efficient with our time, then we are making real progress.

However, just scurrying about trying to do as much as possible, that is not only inefficient, it also puts a strain on the body. The body should always be considered in any type of schedule. If we do not make space and time for the body to recuperate and rejuvenate from labor we will not be effective and in time our body will show physical symptoms of our disregard. That is why time efficiency does not imply ‘doing things as fast as possible’ – rather – being efficient with time is to know the limits of the physical, to plan and organize effectively, and to prioritize, and not become stressed/anxious/worried when there simply is not enough time for certain tasks/activities. If that happens, it is better to simply let them go, and then when time opens up another day, to then pursue the point.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become winded up when I notice that I do not have enough time to do everything I have planned, and then try to force the execution and creation of my plans into reality, not seeing, realizing and understanding, that I am by doing that creating consequences for myself, I am harming myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to force my plans and visions into creation instead of walking breath by breath – HERE in the physical – not accepting and allowing myself to attempt try to skip steps and move to fast – but to see, realize and understand that my movement and creation of points will be efficient – when I walk HERE – in the physical – not trying to do more than – or less than – but remaining in the physical – doing things breath by breath – moving points breath by breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself in balance and equilibrium with my external reality – and to within this see, realize and understand – that when I try to force points from within and as a starting point of stress – I am creating consequences for my human physical body – and then – further – I am creating consequences in the sense that what I do is usually not done very effectively – because I rush through it – trying to complete it – not seeing, realizing and understanding that for an expression to come through nicely – I must invest the time and effort required – and that cannot be controlled by my stress and urge to get points done now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt and try to force the creation of time, to force getting and having more time on my hands, and to go into an emotional turmoil and conflict when I feel that there is not enough time to do what I have planned – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it is not the time that I push and change, it is rather my planning, my organization and my priorities – and also see that when I attempt and try to force points into creation – prematurely birthing them and placing them into this world even though the prerequisites for such a creation is not here – then I am creating consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not chill out – to allow myself to let go of the need, the urge, to complete certain tasks – to asks myself in self-honesty whether it is in-fact as important to complete this point that I am looking as it seems and feels inside of my mind – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, to bring myself back here to and as my human physical body, and to move with breath, to move with the physical, to move one step at a time, and to assess in each moment if it works, if I am moving myself effectively – and if I am satisfied with how the point is playing out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate getting things done with a positive feeling – to think that it is positive, it is good, it is beneficial the more things that I get done – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this premise – because why would it be good the more things I get done? There is nothing within getting things done that in itself creates a better me, or a better world, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that I have been indoctrinated into a ‘productive’ mind-set – where the production is what matters – the amount of products produced – and not the presence within that production and work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value quantity before quality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that there is a value in how I get things done – to see that it is not only about producing and showing a product – it is also about who I am in the making and creation of that product – because if I am running around in a state of stress – then what does it really mean to be able to create a lot of things? Because I am not really HERE anyway – I am not really living anyway – so what does it then matter that I am able to produce and create a lot of things?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice comfortable and easy-going – chilled out – movement – to move myself breath by breath – from point to point – getting things done in a steady and consistent pace – not accepting and allowing myself to become rushed – and then attempt and try to rush the completion of what I am doing so that I can get to the next point – no – I move myself breath by breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself that I will get things done – maybe not now – but if I stick to the point and I move myself consistently – little by little – day by day – then I will move the point into completion eventually – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have this expansive way of viewing my reality – where I see the entire timeline of a creation stretched out into the future – and I do not accept and allow myself to become zoned in and possessed with wanting to and trying to finish and complete something HERE in this moment

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am rushing myself, forcing myself to move to get as many points done as possible, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself, and I see, realize and understand that being efficient with time, also implies moving myself consistently, with a comfortable pace for my body, taking breaks and moments to support my body – being realistic about what can be done, prioritizing and making sure that I pursue the most important tasks first and organizing and planning my time – and also having an overview – seeing that some projects and tasks will take longer to complete – and that it is nothing wrong in itself – it is simply what it is – that is how physical reality operates – certain points takes time; thus I commit myself to move myself breath by breath – and when I get stressed or I notice that I jump in my thought processes between various projects – I take a breath – I ground myself back here – and I continue to move myself in a comfortable pace with the ONE project I got going HERE

And – I commit myself to develop the skills of prioritizing, planning and organizing – to as such develop an overview of my life – and also learn what is important and what is not – to understand within this that to produce is not what matters – what matters is who I am within that – and that I am creating a life for myself and others that is effective and supportive in all dimensions and aspects of living


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Day 341: Hierarchies and Money

Deeply embedded in the human conscious we find some strange ideas about life. One of these is the belief that earning a lot of money equals that we are valuable and important as a person. Money, and having a job, throughout the ages this has been the determining factor as to where in society we will be positioned/valued. If we are poor and have a job of no significance or importance, we will be considered as less valuable, and if the opposite is true, we will be an example for humanity to follow.

This brainwashing that we accepted and allowed has some pretty serious consequences. First off, we have a far to lenient approach to with regards to respect for property, and the right for each one of us to pursue our happiness. The fact is that we have a many that are too rich, and that horde, causing widespread poverty, because their money had to come from somewhere. And we cannot blame these rich, apparently successful people, because we have created them, and secretly, we all hope for the same thing, to hit the jackpot and that we will make some serious money. That is why we continue placing our respect in money, instead of respecting ourselves, and determining our value on the basis of how we live.

The interesting thing is that we have created a completely dysfunctional society, mostly because we are too busy creating our own lives, protecting and building our lives and utilizing money to do that, while not caring sufficiently about each-other – and instead of coming together to build a flowing society where all are cared for, we create enormous structures of control. Though the solution is not control, the solution is not more work, more education, the solution is that we as humanity come together, and look beyond our own personal interests – and see what we are able to create that is best for all.

This pattern of only looking at ourselves, it recurs again and again. A while ago I read an interesting article about coral bleaching. In the article it was discussed how massive coral bleaching had now reached the great barrier reef, and for those that do not know, coral bleaching is bad stuff for corals. What was interesting to note was that the Australian authorities had been aware of coral bleaching since the eighties, though because it had not reached the great barrier reef, no one had really taken note of the danger. Instead the Australian authorities had seen coral bleaching as someone else’s problem, simply because it was not there at the moment. And then, a couple of years later it happened, and now it was too late. And during all this time, the solution had been known, to decrease emissions of fossil fuels on a global level.

The insight here is that in a world that is connected in a multitude of ways, there is no such thing as someone else’s problem. When we have issues with the usage of fossil fuels creating inconsistent weather patterns, then we cannot think that only because those weather patterns are not yet threatening the piece of land we live on, that it is okay to continue a practice that is clearly creating consequences. Because any consequence in this world will directly or indirectly impact us. And this is one of the great things about globalization; we are now able to see with a lot more clarity how our actions ripple throughout the world – and how in a global economy – it is not possible to protect one’s own country from global instability.

Another striking example of we how we tend to only care for and consider ourselves is the refugee situation. Particularly in Sweden this is an interesting topic to explore. Because it is public knowledge that number one reason for people becoming displaced is war. And interestingly enough, Sweden has a big and prosperous arms industry, and it is ranked the third largest arms exporter per capita after Israel and Russia. In Sweden we have a lot of refugees and it has become a big problem. Thus we are now starting to see the consequences of our arms industry, as the victims of war is trying to create a safe life for themselves – and this consequence is now not only out there in some foreign country – no – it is right here at our porch.

Back to the issue of people being rich and poor. What I want to point out here is that when we accept and allow this extreme separation in society, between those that have made it, and those that have not, we are creating consequences, not only for those that are poor, but also for those that are rich. Poverty is a breeding ground for crime, diseases, lack of education, drug abuse, etc. If we want to have a life and society that is efficient and works for everyone, without unnecessary consequences, the acceptance of the rich and poor must be erased, and replaced with a motivation to care for all equally. It is not possible to control consequences, they will slip through the cracks, as is the case with the refugees. Consequences must be prevented at their roots, the original issue must be directed, else we will end up going in circles.

And why do we still hold unto this archaic and dysfunctional model of society? Why have we not changed? Because we do, secretly or overtly, want to hold unto to our current societal set-up, where we have a chance of becoming successful, earning a lot of money, and apparently becoming someone that is important. We still want to win and be rewarded for it. However, it is possible to compete and become successful even though such expressions and processes are not linked to property, money, and wealth. Optimally, competition and success should be used as bait, and motivation, for us to become better as people – so that we are able to realize our full potential in this life and share that with others.

The solution I see is the follow: We stop seeing money as the determining factor for value and worth, and instead make sure that money is a tool, something we utilize to practically create our lives, but where it is has no deeper importance or meaning – it is just money. And also to stop our fears when it comes to money, to as such make sure that we stop accepting and allowing ourselves to horde money, saving it ‘for a rainy day’ or to have ‘more money’. We have to earth our relationship with money and make it PRACTICAL.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value money more than people – and believe that it is money that makes the man

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify and hold unto the idea that a rich person is better than a poor person – and strive to achieve wealth so that I can feel better than others – not seeing, realizing and understanding that money is simply a practical point – something that we require to survive – however not something that defines our character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hold unto a society where we are allowed to pursue our happiness regardless of the consequences it creates in the lives of others – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how I am in-fact, creating unconsciously, a system that is not best for all, a system of hierarchies, because I want to feel like a winner, and for winner to exist we must also have losers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can become better buy having more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am winning buy having more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better than others when I have more money than them – or a better education

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more important than others because I have a education that could potentially allow me to earn a lot of money – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this belief that money makes the man – and that it is through getting more money that I can prove myself in this world system – and show that I am of equal value in comparison with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others when it comes to money and earning potential – and feel inferior to those that earn more than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others when it comes to money and earning potential – and feel superior to those that earn less than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of valuing people and things according to their monetary value – instead of seeing all that is here as equals – all made of the same matter and coming from the same source

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a inner system of evaluation where money is the most important factor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want to have a system of competition where the participants is evaluated according to money – so that I have chance of winning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am creating long-term consequences by accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how my inner relationship with money, is connected to what is happening in the world system – and is connected to how points are currently functioning and operating on a bigger scale – where there is a huge competition in relation to money – and no common sense – where it is seen as justified and okay for one person to own as much money as an entire country – and where poverty, malnutrition, and all other consequences of not having money is then apparently okay

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an inner money system where it is seen as justified and acceptable to have a system of competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify competition within me as good – because apparently it brings out the best in people – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it in-fact does not bring out the best in people – but rather brings out the most shit in people – where we will do anything and everything to survive and win – and those any integrity and self-respect will go out the window

Self-commitment statements

When and as I become possessed with positive, or negative feelings in relation to money, where I compare myself to others, and see myself as either superior, or inferior, depending on whether I have more or less money than them, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand how this way of viewing and defining myself limits me, and that it creates consequences on a global level, because I am part in, and participating in a system of competition, where one of the consequences is poverty, thus I commit myself to stop – and to value me and others according to what we do to bring through a world that is best for all – according to our purpose and reason for existing in this world – as to what we give to this world as a whole

I commit myself to develop value as myself through giving to this world – living a life of purpose where I am giving of myself to create a better reality and world for everyone – and where I am thus practically living the word value – and not only relating value to an attempt to acquire and earn more money to feel better than others


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Day 329: Redefining Successful

Redefining the word Successful

How I have lived the word up till now

Undoubtedly, success for me has been deeply connected with receiving recognition from others and thus my primary relationship with the word has been in relation to fame and the desire to become famous. Throughout my life I have many times ventured and taken on new hobbies, because they have held an opportunity for me to get famous. There has been music, making movies, writing, and more, hobbies that I have pursued hoping to become widely known and appreciated. Thus, success has not been something present in my personal relationship with myself – success has been something to achieve for someone out there.

Current definition

Dictionary definition

  1. The accomplishment of an aim or purpose: the president had some success in restoring confidence.
    • the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status: the success of his play.
    • [ count noun ] a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains fame, wealth, etc.: to judge from league tables, the school is a success | I must make a success of my business.
  2. archaic the good or bad outcome of an undertaking: the good or ill success of their maritime enterprises.

Etymology

1530s, “result, outcome,” from Latin successus “an advance, a coming up; a good result, happy outcome,” noun use of past participle of succedere “come after” (see succeed). Meaning “accomplishment of desired end” (good success) first recorded 1580s. Meaning “a thing or person which succeeds,” especially in public, is from 1882.

The moral flabbiness born of the bitch-goddess SUCCESS. That — with the squalid interpretation put on the word success — is our national disease. [William James to H.G. Wells, Sept. 11, 1906]

Success story is attested from 1902. Among the French phrases reported by OED as in use in English late 19c. were succès d’estime “cordial reception given to a literary work out of respect rather than admiration” and succès de scandale “success (especially of a work of art) dependent upon its scandalous character.”

Sounding of the word

Suck-cease

Suck-see

Suck-test

Search-for-the-best

Sit-on-end-of-test

Suck-tease

succeed

succession

Creating writing

The current definition of successful is actually grounded and specific in comparison to how I have thus far understood successful. Being successful is not about ‘competing’ or ‘winning’ – it is not about proving oneself to another – it is actually about realizing a plan/idea/manifesto into reality – it is about walking a process of creation into the physical. My definition of successful has been that it is something ‘good’ that happens, particularly related to money, career, studies, sports, competitions, and foremost in comparison with others – a success is only a success if it implies that I am better than or more than others.

However, this is not the essence of success – because in the word we have the sounds of succeed and succession – and it also comes through in the etymology of the word – success is something that comes after – it is outcome of a process of creation – where a goal has been established and then a process has been walked to realize this goal – and hence – the outflow is success.

New redefinition

Walking the creation of a goal/vision/idea/principle into physical creation/completion.

Day 328: Desiring Success In A Unsuccessful World

Success, a word, that to most is imbued with feelings, hopes, desires, wants, jealousy, competition, greed and secrecy. Most of us, in some way or another strives to be successful. We have defined success as having money, having a nice house, having a fruitful career, having perfect children, a perfect spouse, an interesting life and many friends. We have thus defined the word very much in relation to our external reality, and, very much as a individual point of achievement. It is seldom that success is used in the context of nations, groups of people, collectives, or with the entire world as the recipient. Success, thus, in the modern western world is something we reach alone, that we hold unto, and that becomes our currency in the survival game that we play in the system of money.

I find it interesting that it is so easy to loose oneself in this game of success. Until I began my university studies I was well protected from this game. It is fascinating to look back at how I was back then. My decisions then were in many cases based on what would be suitable and effective for me as a person. For example, when I went into hobbies, or pursued interests, it was most of the times not done from within a starting point of wanting to impress anyone, or to achieve recognition, rather it was something I did for and as myself, because I enjoyed it. However, when I began my university studies, I got to see and get involved with the game of success more closely; a game that is played with what careers we have, how much money we are able to accumulate, who we know, where we live, and where we do not live. It is a game of competing with our achievements, where we try to become better, so that we can feel valuable.

Thus, to some extent, I lost myself in this game, because gradually it became more difficult for me to see what I wanted to do, and what direction that would be the best for me, and that is because, in each and every process of consideration, a fear was intersecting: ‘What if I will not be successful?’. And thus I would gravitate towards certain career paths, and lifestyles, that I knew were considered, by the greater mass, as desirable. However, in this, I lost touch with myself, and with what I saw as a future for myself – or – I became more acutely aware that my life direction was very much determined by the input of others and not so much a self-directed decision as to where I want to go and what I want to do with myself in this lifetime.

Hence, the solution is the redefine success – this word is obviously not limited to having a efficient career, having access to money, and being popular, it is much more. And within this, what should also be looked at is the question as to whether it is possible to lead a successful life, FOR REAL, when the majority of human beings live in conditions of squalor. Is it successful to have a fuck-load of money, and spend that on things that interest us, while people exist in dismay all around us? I would say it is a extremely limited form of successful, and rather a form of narcissism – where we only care about ourselves and cannot give the slightest of fucks about anyone else.

How should success be lived for it to be real? For success to be real, it must be lived in consideration of others, it cannot be this single, desire driven, inner momentum, where we ONLY care about our own achievements, and disregard what consequences that might create in the lives of others. Further, real success cannot be something that is only existent on a personal level, because there is as well, a interpersonal and a existential level to the word success – where we are able to bring through this word into living not only for ourselves, but for the we interact with on a daily basis, and for the world as a whole. Hence, success is a word with great potential, but that has become severely limited, due to how we have defined it in the context of how we FEEL and also created a form of success competition between each-other – instead of understanding that – on a personal level – we all have our individual points of success. For one, success might be to develop a deep and fulfilling intimacy with himself – for another – success might be to push himself to become as an efficient and capable athlete. We cannot label people according to a limited ‘one size fits all’ idea of success – as that will only cause us to compete with one another. Success on a personal level is always unique and that is something we must embrace.

In my next blog I will continue to expand on the word success and find a fitting redefinition.


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Day 312: Low Approval Ratings

In politics we measure the candidates and political parties with approval ratings. If a candidate has high approval ratings, he or she will likely be elected to a post and achieve a certain amount of influence. I find it interesting that we use the word approval in order to value and define the movement of political parties and figures, and I can relate to this way of defining success/achievement through looking at my own personal life as well.

Especially when it comes to work, I have a tendency to value myself according to whether my work is approved or not – whether I achieve a high approval rating or not. Then if I do, I will feel happy, pleased and satisfied, and walk away with a smile and a comfortable feel in myself. However, if I do not, I will walk away with a nugget of fear/anxiety/stress in my chest, and I will have backchat running in circles about how I can ameliorate the situation, how I can change it up, and direct it. It is fascinating, and because of this good/bad relationship to work, my inner experience will shift, and change, and the consequence is that it is uncomfortable to be at work.

An interesting thing about wanting approval is that when that is the starting point, then what I do, why I do it, and WHO I AM within what I do, it simply does not matter. That is interesting because it means that when I seek approval, there will not be genuine care, and a real passion, it will all be for SHOW, so that I can win more approval, and heighten my approval ratings. The consequence of that is that my actions and the work that I do will lack real substance and meaning – simply because there is no SELF in the process of creation – it is instead about achieving approval. It is not strange at all that we loose touch with our childish, unconditional, curious and potent sides of ourselves, present we are children, because our entire world is based on this one thing of seeking approval – and then being defined according to that approval.

For example school, it is one big process of establishing who is to be approved, and who is not to be approved, and then you apply for university, and potentially you are approved. And what is forgotten in this entire process is looking within ourselves, asking, well WHO AM I? What do I live for? What do I want to do? When am I satisfied with myself and when am I not? What is lost is the sense of SELF = self-honesty – because everything is about fitting in and being approved.

And this pattern of desiring approval is also something that can be seen in how the world system operates, because how do you achieve approval? You take in a certain POSITION – for example – becoming a president – a position in the system and the you get approval for achieving that position – and what is forgotten? SELF – HERE. There is no recognition of WHO I AM – instead value is given by how well I am able to reach and maintain predetermined, given marks.

Approval = A PROOF OF – A PROOF OF LOVE – is that what we are all so hungry for? A proof that someone loves us? It is fascinating, and I have observed this many times in my own life, that what is highly valued and seen as prestigious in the system, automatically becomes a highly valued and desired point to achieve within myself. An example is MONEY – that is an object highly valued and defined as prestigious to have – and what do I want to have? What is it that I use to compare my own value in relation to others? It is money.

Hence, the search for approval, is the search of a proof that we are loved and valued, and we seek to achieve that through moving ourselves in various ways in the world system, making almost everything a competition – and we loose sight of REAL value – which is ourselves. And how we can easily abuse and harm ourselves, judge ourselves in thought, disregarding and being oblivious to the value that exists within and as ourselves, while at the same time trying to achieve value and recognition out there in the world system – where have to fight, and struggle, and compete in order to be able to strengthen our approval ratings.

The REAL proof of love is WHO I AM within myself in each breath – the result of my living will stand as a proof – and that result can be a result of love – which would be when I create an outcome for myself and others in my world that is best – when I place and live by the principle of what is best for all and I do not accept and allow myself to be sidetracked and loose my direction through going into the mind. The solution is to develop, create and find within myself, real love, real approval – a real home. Thus, it is not about what I do – it is about WHO I AM – it is not about where I reach – it is about WHO I AM – it is not about what I achieve – it is about WHO I AM – I am in this world but not off this world.