Tag Archives: success

Day 361: Organic Growth

There is a time for planning AND there is a time for organic movement. That is my insight for this week.

The way I tend to approach at least some parts of my life, is with exactitude in planning, preparation and execution. Everything should be considered and thought-out beforehand. And the underlying idea is that when everything is preemptively directed – that will bring the best results. However – I have found that this is not necessarily the case. On example of this is nature, specifically, trees.

If you look at how a tree grows, it is in the moment. The branches and roots will stretch out in search for optimum nutrition. That movement might be genetically planned in the design of the seed. However the actual growth of the tree happens organically. When the tree is young, there might be a water shortage. Hence the tree will focus its energy on growing its roots deeper into the ground to reach water. This shapes the tree, making it shorter and with less foliage than what would have been the case if it had instead focused all its energy on growing its branches towards the optimum position for receiving sunlight. Though, if it would have followed such a stiff and inflexible plan, the tree would have most likely died. Because it was able to improvise and grow organically according to its environment – it survived.

Then, many years later, the water shortage comes to an end. The tree now wants to focus on expanding its branches and foliage. Unfortunately for the tree, it has two big tree neighbors that blocks most of the sunlight coming directly from above. Instead of trying to outgrow its neighbors, the tree then grows its branches in such a way where it seeps up the small portions of light that moves past the foliage of its neighbors. The movement is yet again organic – in equilibrium and alignment with the trees environment.

The growth of a tree is flexible, organic, sensitive, receptive and balanced. It grows with common sense – moves on the opportunities that arise and redesigns its direction according to its environment. And as a whole, a tree looks magnificent – perfectly positioned and aligned with the rest of its neighbors.

Compare this organic growth with how us humans tend to move. Most of us decide upon a goal – a dream we want to realize for ourselves. It could be striving to achieve a certain income, enter a profession or become admitted to a education. Regardless, we tend to hold unto our goals stiffly and stubbornly – and when things does not move our way – instead of bending – we break. Because that is the problem with a person that has a stiff mind – he breaks when enough pressure is applied, while a flexible, soft and organic person is able to move around the obstacle. The tree did not stubbornly hold unto a goal of wanting to grow its foliage when there was a water shortage – it moved WITH its environment and was thus able to survive.

Hence – I have this week seen this pattern within me. One example of this is how I have had the tendency to structure/dream projects in my mind. Last summer I dreamed of creating a small carpentry studio in one of the unheated houses on our property. I arranged it and planned installing electricity and heating after a while. However, I did not have the funding or the time to install electricity and heating. This week I realized that there is actually a room on the property that already have heat and electricity installed, that I could have utilized instead all along. I had not however and the reason for this is because I got stuck in a ‘box’ like way of thinking. Where I only saw my initial goal – instead of expanding my thinking and instead of looking at the pictures – looking at the general process/movement that I want to facilitate. The room that is available, it cannot be aligned to fit my dreams of how my carpentry studio should look like – though it facilitates my interest in carpentry more effectively – because it gives me access to heat and electricity so that I am able to work even though it is dark outside. If I had moved myself organically, from moment to moment, I would have taken notice of this room and set up my shop there.

With this blog I want to emphasize the importance of MOMENT to MOMENT living. I want to emphasize that it is not the image/picture that is important – it is the process/movement. If we have an interest in photography – it is not the camera that is important – it is that process/movement of engaging in our interest. Hence if we cannot afford the camera we want, then instead of getting stuck, thinking we cannot advance ourselves within our interest, it is to instead find ways to facilitate and move with what we have at our disposal – to be creative and not break. There is always a lot more that can be done than what we think. The difficult part, that is to break free from our stiff and inflexible goal-driven mind – to instead see the opportunities that are here.


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Day 459: Removing Comparison and Competition = Making Place for LIFE

Comparison and competition. Two characteristics that have been given unwarranted value and attention as a way to find fuel/drive to push and execute projects. Its a general idea that we become spurred when the competition increase and that we grow and evolve through comparing ourselves with others. The reality is that comparison and competition are distractions – experiences that hinder us from accessing our own unique and individual drive/decision to do/move/act. I have personally never been able to engage myself using fear of loss, which is the primary emotional force that drives people to excel in competitions. For me, I have needed calm and a unconditional stability – when my environment has been set up in this way – I have been able to create/produce the best.

Looking deeper into comparison and competition it makes sense that these two energies does not support growth. Comparison and competition places the focus OUTSIDE of ourselves. We have to focus on what someone else is doing, focus on our position, or the way we express ourselves, relative to someone else – hence – a split-personality is created. It is thus inevitable that we cannot place our complete and unwavering attention ONLY on what is here before us. That will cause us to express a lesser version of ourselves. Furthermore, when our focus is on making sure that we win, it is very easy to compromise and forget our own individual expression. Because, it might be that ‘winning’ requires us to give up on what we enjoy about that particular activity, and thus, we sacrifice our soul to make sure that we win.

Instead, the best kind of drive that can be found/established is to define and harness our own personal enjoyment/expansion/relationship with the particular activity/project we are participating within.

For example, with me while I was still studying, my main reason, that I kept within me and held unto, as I pushed through resistances, was that I enjoyed discovering and expanding myself and my understanding of society/the world system. For me it was not about having the ‘best marks’ – what was important was the process, the movement, the unfolding process that I was walking. And because of my starting point, I was not discouraged when I experienced set backs or when I faced challenges. My priority as LEARNING and EXPANDING – and because I approached my studies this way – I was able to receive the best marks – even though that was not the goal in itself.

While self-motivated movement supports expansion and growth – comparison and competition supports a harsh and ruthless inner world where only results matter, and where the results are measured against the results of others. The process, the physical movements in themselves, are not given any value. The consequence of this is that we start to loose touch with ourselves, our core so to speak. This might also be why so many have difficulties to retain their original joy and pleasure in a professional skill that was initially nurtured in the form of a hobby. Because in the professional world, the world of money, what is forced upon the participants is a result-oriented and competitive mindset. And to survive in the money world, it is required to focus on the results – however – that does not mean that we have to accept and allow everything about ourselves to be taken over by the efficiency-mindset – and neither does it mean that we have to fuel ourselves using energies coming from comparison and competition.

Though I would not completely disregard comparison and competition. Because comparison can be changed into INSPIRATION. Where we, instead of trying to measure ourselves relative to another, we look at what we enjoy, like, see is good about another, and we take that skill/ability/approach and integrate it into our own life. Allowing ourselves to become inspired adds more colors to our self-creation pallet. Each one of us have our own unique strengths, and if we allow ourselves to be open and recognize those in others, we can through practice and imitation start adding them to our own.

As for competition, this can be changed into self-competition – where we continuously push ourselves to move our boundaries as to what we think we are capable of forward. Otherwise, it is easy to stagnate. When we are ‘pretty’ good at something, it feels nice to relax and let go for a moment. Though, if we want to really expand our relationship with a certain skill/project we cannot stop there – and we have to move beyond the plateaus, and those are inevitable. If we constantly compete with ourselves, that is a concrete way to avoid undue self-satisfaction – and instead keep moving towards achieving our best and highest potential.

To summarize: Comparison and competition are both destructive patterns – however they can be transformed into supportive and self-nurturing habits. It takes a bit of self-will and application – though through consistent movement and through utilizing the tools of self-forgiveness, self-commitment statements and writing – it is most definitely possible.

Also – be sure to check out these Eqafe interviews on the topic:

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Day 445: When Competition Puts Us Off Course

Competition is a strange thing. Especially the kind of competition that just happens. For example, the competition that exists at the office, where one guy gets the promotion, the other does not, the next guy gets close to the boss, and the third does not. When a lot of people come together, such as in a organization, there is bound to be some competition.

For myself, I have found, that when I give into and become engulfed in competition, I lose my direction. What used to be important becomes less so, and what takes its place is the DESIRE to WIN, to reach that position/point/top that everyone else seems to strive towards, and hence, that must be really worthwhile. Though it is not even about the position. It is about proving to everyone else, and to myself, that I could reach that position, and nobody else could. Thus, it is a complete illusion, based solely on wanting to become someone to someone other than me, to feel better, and it has nothing to do with what I actually want to do – that which is my REAL expression.

Competing this way is not constructive, rather it is destructive. Instead of strengthening our own individual unique expressions, we all strive towards the same goal, the same achievement, and all try to climb the same ladder. It is unfortunate, because what is a genuine success/achievement for one person might not be so for another. Accordingly it does not make any sense to set ourselves and our lives up with the intent of winning – because at the end of the day – if we have given up on everything that is unique and individual about ourselves to reach that position/status/goal – then have we really won? Have we not in-fact lost a part of ourselves – that unconditional drive and movement within us that acts/express without wanting rewards – but where the expression in itself is enough to be wholly fulfilling.

I have tried to walk both paths in my life. Getting lost in the wheel of competition, striving towards something more, without really understanding why – and then also – moving myself to fulfill myself through doing that which I really enjoy/love. And with the latter, I have found that it does not even have to be something that I love/enjoy – the difference is all in HOW I approach the point. In my work for example, that occasionally can be less than stimulating, I have found pleasure and drive in practicing being thorough, structured and specific. I have practiced living those characteristics without aspiring a position or a certain status, I have done it for MYSELF.

I do recognize that it can be easy to lose oneself in these games of competition that is played in all parts of life in some way or another. And, everyone else seems to be in it, so why should not I do it as well? And if I do decide to walk my own path, will I miss out on something? What if that grand-prize at the top of the ladder is worth it all? There are definitely fears associated with deciding upon and walking the path less traveled – and there are far less that travels the path of self-expression compared to the path of competition. However, only because the mass of people does something, it does not mean that it is right for ME, it does not mean that it is supportive, and it does not mean that it is BEST.

About two years ago, just about as I finished my university degree, I decided to move back to where I grew up, to the rural parts of Sweden. This went against what everyone of my classmates decided to do. Most of them went to the capital city to get the top tier jobs. And since I moved, I have had this nagging fear/stress that I might be missing out on something. I have sometimes started to make sketches in my mind of moving back to the big city, to find myself a top job, and create my success story. Though part of me has been drawn to the country side, the quiet, the opportunities that exist in immersing oneself in hobbies such as gardening and carpentry. This to me perfectly exemplifies the effect that competition can have on my mind – and on a mind in general. Because when I look at it, there is no objective, quantifiable and practical benefit to moving back to the city and acquiring a ‘top job’. I have everything set where I live in terms of money and shelter – and I am very satisfied with my daily routines. Hence this begs the question, why this urge to move upwards in the ladder of success? Why this urge to give up that which I want for myself, to do what I perceive everyone else wants, values and desires? It makes NO sense.

And that is where I would like to end of – with the conclusion that: competition makes NO sense. Competition is not rational, it is not practical, it is not thought through and it is not supporting us to fulfill our utmost potential. Giving into competition dehumanizes us, makes us machines racing to prove our value to some unknown force, while at the same time devaluing and losing our own unique potential, our own individual point of expression that cannot be measured in terms of winning and losing.

Hence – instead of competing – we should embrace our own VALUE, our own UNIQUE and INDIVIDUAL expression – that which cannot be compared and measured in relation to another – because that is where we will find real and lasting fulfillment.


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Day 432: Success, It Is About Starting

Yesterday I read a great blog on the topic of success called A New Dimension of SUCCESS, in which a cool definition of success was brought forth:

Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something

This definition of success does not target material wealth, the result, rather it is about ACTING – and I find that empowering. I have many times feared walking into new ventures and directions, because I suspected I might not be able to make them successful and worth my effort, and due to this I have stopped myself from having new experiences. And I have also seen how I evaluate past projects on the basis of how much wealth I was able to produce, or time I was able to save, or how much attention I received from others, or how close to my initial goal that I came. The problem with evaluating my projects through such quantitative measurements is that I will miss MYSELF within all of them, and miss that, regardless of the outcome, I actually walked a process, I did something, and if I look closely, I will see that I learned something as well.

Defining success as the actual decision to DO something, that supports growth and movement, it supports courage and direction, it supports creativity and inventiveness – it is a EXPANSIVE definition – where the goal is the PROCESS, the JOURNEY, the DECISION, and not the actual outcome in itself.

However, there is something missing from the definition, and that is the point of OTHERS/EXISTENCE. Because, there is more to this life than myself, and real success is only real when everyone benefits. The principle of what is best for all is a essential component in success, for success to be substantial and worthwhile.

Thus – I would like to change the definition above to the following:

Success is the ACT of moving myself to accomplish a goal/direction/project that benefits/supports life in some way, and it is also my EXPERIENCE of the creation process, and it is what I LEARNED through doing it

With this redefinition of success, what is accentuated is the point of making sure that my direction/project/goal actually brings through some sort of value/support in life – if what I do is harmful/self-interested only based on what I want with no regard for another – its not SUCCESS. Further, with this redefinition, the process of creation is placed in the limelight – what is important thus is the MOVEMENT – to actually do something – to not let it remain on a idea level. Ideas/projects/potentials – they are meant to be EXPLORED and MOVED. Hence – if there is an idea – and I want to bring it through – then next point is to PLAN and then DO – it is as simple as that. And – regardless of the outcome – there will be things I have learned, an experience that I can take with me – and that is SUCCESS as well.

For those interested on further perspectives on SUCCESS I suggest listening to the following interviews:

Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 571

More Dimensions of Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 572

Practically Working with Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 573


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Day 431: Success Continued – Bringing In Others

After writing on the subject of success, and after reading a couple of blogs online on the subject, I have come to see that generally speaking, we tend to exclude one very important aspect/dimension in our definitions of the word SUCCESS – and that is – OTHERS/EXISTENCE.

Because, success is obviously not real if our definition of success is somehow excluding or even impeding on the lives and freedoms of others. An example would be SUCCESS in relation to money. If our definition of success in relation to money implies that we are going to earn a lot more money than another, have the nicest things, and a super luxurious house, with cleaners, nannies, personal drivers, etc – have we then considered how our definition of success impacts earth, the environment, others, and how, for us to be filthy rich, another must be filthy poor and ready to sell their time and energy to us so that they can survive? Hence, success, in its absolute sense, must include EVERYONE and it must include EQUALITY. There cannot be real success, unless it is a success for everyone.

It is easy to forget that we live in this world TOGETHER with others, and that our lives, our values, our actions, our thoughts, our presence, it impacts, it resonates, it creates, it ripples – nobody is an island – and hence – when everyone is successful – we are successful. Thus, it makes no sense to separate success and see it is something that can only be achieved on a individual basis. And seen this way, the question that opens up is the following, but are we even able to compete about who is the must successful? If real success is about the well-being, growth and expansion of ALL, then can any one singular person be successful while the rest is not? At least in the sense of material wealth and growth, that is not possible to be attained alone.

Real success entails not only progress and accomplishment for myself, but for everyone. Hence the importance of sharing myself, and making sure that my process of creating success does not become only about myself, but something that I push and walk into the world as well – through giving as I would like to receive – through seeing where I am able to place myself, where I am able to make a difference, and then doing that which is needed for success to manifest in its absolute sense.


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Day 430: What is Success?

When I look at what success means to me at the moment, I am able to see that it is something I define through comparison. To me currently, success is relative, and it is based upon what others think are successful, and then, through comparing myself to where others are, I accordingly position myself on the ‘success’ thermometer. However, I find that this definition is problematic, because by defining success in relation to others, I miss myself.

Hence, if I would slow myself down, and look at what success if for myself, I see that success is something very personal. What is success for me, might not be success for another – because success – has to do with my intent – and what I want to create and build in my life. Thus, in-fact, I can never become successful if I only keep striving towards that which I believe others see as being successful, as I have not even then, actually defined for myself, what is success?

Hence, if I bring the point back to myself, and look at success, what does this word entail to me?

The way I see success, it implies, actually walking through a difficulty/challenge, or walking a path, a process of creation, where I have a set goal and direction, and success, would be the point where I am actually able to reach this point. Practically speaking, success to me would mean walking this process of birthing life from the physical, diligently, consistently and really change myself. It would mean that I follow my inner voice and walk a life that is ME – and not a life where I try to be what everyone else wants to be. Further, success would be a me, doing something with my life that can contribute and support the lives of others, and where I hence, support the growth of success in a crowd of people. Further, a life filled with animals, nature and movement, that would be success to me – a life that I have created for myself because I have seen that it is best for me – I have seen that it is what I genuinely want – that is success to me.

What everyone else is doing is immaterial, and if there is a movement of jealousy or comparison within me, it is indicating that I am still not clear on what success is to me! Then I am still clouded, and really, without my own principle and direction. And that is also interesting, that when my head turns, and the comparisons start to emerge, it is showing me that I have not yet decided, I have not yet committed, I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to be intimate with myself, and actually within that, commited to a direction that I want for myself. Thus, a part of success has to do with self-respect, self-awareness, and self-value – because unless I see value in myself and what I want for me – how can I ever make the decision to create and live a life for myself – that I want for and as myself – as successful?

Thus, I will sit down for myself and write out what is success for me more clearly – so that I make sure – that when I walk and live the word success – it is a word that I create and live for and as myself – and not something I do to be like everyone else.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define success in separation from myself, to see success, and strive for success, through wanting to do what everyone else defines and sees as successful – instead of asking myself – and looking within myself – what I want to do with my life – what I want to create – what is success for me? What does it mean to achieve for me? What does it mean to make something meaningful and great out of myself and my life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure success according to how I perceive others see and define success – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for example – strive to have the perfect career – because everyone else seems to value that – strive to achieve and have the perfect home – because everyone else seems to value that – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself – to forget about myself – to not look within myself –  because I am too busy worrying – fearing – creating experiences about what others are or are not doing with themselves and their lives

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a successful life, in the eyes of others, instead of wanting a successful life for and as myself – and thus I see, realize and understand how important it is for me to define – what is success? What does it mean to be successful for ME? How can I achieve and create success in my life in a way that is BEST for me and thus BEST for ALL?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure myself through the eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to myself, and be intimate with myself, and embrace the point within me of creating a life and a future that is in alignment with what is best for me and not how I believe everyone else wants to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others, and want to achieve that I perceive others want to achieve, so that I can feel that in comparison with others, I am better than them, and my life is better than theirs – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself, what constitutes a excellent and enjoyable life for me? What constitutes success for me? What does it mean for me to live life fully? And hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here – and bring the word SUCCESS back to and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others, or see myself trying to investigate/figure out what to do, through looking at what others are doing, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself – and I see, realize and understand that I will not be able to live success, to experience success and have success unless I redefine and create success for and as myself, through asking myself, what is success in-fact, and thus, not trying to achieve and create success in a state of competition and fear – and hence I commit myself to investigate and create success in my life and for myself and do it as an expression of myself – as something that is genuine and real – and that I do because I see it is best – not something I do because I fear I will miss out otherwise


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Day 383: Projections and Imaginations

I find it easy to become distracted by material things. For a while I have becoming increasingly enthusiastic, and equally anxious about changing/altering/refining certain parts of my living quarters. From being an innocent hobby, it has escalated, and moved, and now, I am basically daily imagining and fantasizing about new projects. The problem is that it is done, usually, from a starting point of anxiety, from a starting point of lack, where I perceive that there is something amiss in my life at the moment, and that I desperately need to direct/change/alter the point in order to streamline my life. Hence, the problem is not the actual changes, alterations I want to make, the problem is WHO I AM. I see this experience as symptomatic – and fact is that I suspect it actually originates in a different part of my life – and that it then moves itself into for example the dimension of my life where I deal with hobbies.

Thus – the problem I would say – the actual deep rooted problem – is my habit of approaching things from within and as a starting point of lack/anxiety – because if I would have not done that – then the projects I see around my home would simply have been that – projects – that I might or might not get to one day that does not change WHO I AM in anyway what-so-ever. That is the point that I want to get to. Because I do not want to distract myself, and exist in this state of continuous fear/lack/anxiety that I am missing something, or that there is something I should be doing, that I am not doing. I will thus push myself to live the word abundance – to embrace the abundance that is all around me in my life in the form of the physical with all its various expressions – nature, breathing, sensations, physical relationships, I mean there is so much to be aware of and discover, that disappears when I accept and allow my mind to be cluttered by anxiety/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on new projects in my mind, and then become stressed when I notice that I do not have the time to fulfill/walk them completely, and then become stressed and anxious, because I still try to walk and complete them – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question this behavior – to not question why I feel that need and urge to continue walking and pushing myself to complete and fulfill a particular point even though I notice there is not enough time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with taking on and moving new points into and as a form of fulfillment and completion – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to make my environment, my life, and my world seem perfect, and then create, and form all of these projects in my mind that I perceive I have to get to and finish for my life, and world to become what I want it to become, instead of remaining stable, and questioning this way of approaching life, questioning, why the hell I get this experience within me, and why I feel there is such a shortage of time, and why I require, or feel the requirement, and need to push myself so severely, and harshly, to ‘get by’ and ‘make it’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with achieving perfection in my outside world and reality – not seeing, realizing and understanding how this is literally a distraction – something that captures the attention of my mind – a point that I get focused and hooked upon – where I then lose touch and connection with reality because all of myself – all of my mind – is caught up in this state and experience of wanting to achieve perfection – picture perfection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with wanting to achieve material perfection through altering and changing my life to make sure that all parts of it works – and is perfect – that there is no flow – no mistake – nothing in my life that in anyway gives away that there is a problem and difficulty in my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this way of becoming obsessed with the material side of my world as a way to escape and distract myself from walking my inner process of self-change and movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand what this tendency is showing to me – is that I too serious within myself when it comes to material success in this world – and that I am accepting and allowing myself to be all too possessed with making sure that I acquire material success and notoriety – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – and smell the roses – to push myself to walk in the moment and not be so serious and determined to reach some kind of future that is not even here – to reach a future that I am not even able to at this moment clarify to myself exactly where it is that I am going and why

When and as I see myself going into a imagination, looking at, projecting myself into the future, from a starting point of lack/anxiety/fear – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this way of approaching life is not realistic – it is based on a idea of lack and that I have to fight/move/push hard in order to stabilize my value and get to a point of equality – instead of embracing my equality HERE – embracing the abundance that is HERE – seeing, realizing and understanding that I do not need nor do I require to accept and allow myself to limit who I am according to what I am able to produce and build, create, in the external – and thus I commit myself to breathe – to let go of material possessions and the anxiety/fear related to these – and I commit myself to live abundance within and as every moment of breath – to use each moment to integrate and stand with and as my human physical body – and the abundance that is HERE

 


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