Tag Archives: task

Day 397: Why Matter Matters

I matter – what does that mean? What does it mean for me to matter to myself? How can I matter in my daily living, in the simple things, in the regular, everyday stuff? These are questions that have opened up for me recently as I have begun to investigate the word MATTER.

The word MATTER is interesting – it is both a noun and a verb; MATTER as a noun is the physical – an earthly manifestation that is HERE – MATTER as a verb – as I MATTER is me making the decision to matter – to live in a way where things have meaning, purpose, depth and importance. Living matter is about making the small moments count. When I wake up in the morning – it is about waking up in a way that honors me as MATTER – where I make sure to for example – not oversleep – not accept and allow myself to be lethargic and depressed as I head to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for myself, not linger in emotional or feeling experiences but rather – immediately push myself to establish a solution.

Something that matters is by its very definition important and valuable – it is an integral part – a point that cannot be sidestepped or pushed to the side – because then the entirety will not be as efficient and great as it could have been. When I decide that I will live MATTER and bring this word through in all areas of my life – what happens is that actions/events that I would normally have viewed as a waste of time, unnecessary, unimportant, insignificant, becomes important and significant – becomes building blocks of self – because the reality of the situation is, that in building my character – ALL MOMENTS are equally important – ALL moments MATTER – because I am here in the PHYSICAL – and a integral part in all of them.

Hence – there are different ways/methods in which things can be approached – and here I am talking about the daily things such as waking up, preparing breakfast, taking a shower in the morning, driving for work, being at work and participating in the various tasks associated with that – that is to say – DAILY MENIAL TASKS. Those daily tasks can either be approached as a mundane, trite and monotonous events that I simply have to get through – or get done as soon as I am able to so that I can have time left over to just relax – OR – they can be approached as important building blocks of my life and by implication ME – that I can participate within FULLY and WHOLLY – and through that LEARN/EXPAND/EMPOWER myself and OTHERS – as I push myself to live in such a way that ALL of my life MATTERS.

The biggest challenge towards changing my approach and making life MATTER in all its aspects is the emotional experience of blasé/complacency – feeling bored with repetition – and hence not making the decision to live to my utmost but simply live in a way that I have always done because – hey – it gets the work done. Its easy to justify feeling bored about life – it is easy to justify feeling that life is hard, dull, without excitement or fulfillment – because everything is just about work and survival – it is very easy – THOUGH – that does not make it true, neither does it make it acceptable. Because – look – as children we were able to make even the smallest, tiniest and most minute parts of our day MATTER – and it was not because everything was new to us back then – it was because of HOW we approached it; children approach things with PRESENCE and they interact with their reality HERE – and when you live in such a way – LIFE opens up in a completely different way – because now processes of expansion/learning/movement starts to naturally flow and come forth even in the most quotidian of tasks.

Making things MATTER is a matter of PRINCIPLE and DECISION – things will not matter unless we decide that they do – our breakfast, how we prepare our food, what we eat, and how we eat will not be important unless we decide that it is. Caring for and tending to our ourselves, relationships, animals, properties, work will not be important unless we decide that it is. Hence – living matter is to make the decision to value and treat what is here with respect and consideration – it is to understand that in each moment we are interacting with matter – and that matters – and if we embrace and make that consideration and respect a part of ourselves – our reward will be a fulfilling life with purpose and depth – words that so many of us feel that we are currently lacking.

 


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Day 374: Irrational Priorities

For a while I have pushed myself to take on and develop carpentry as a hobby for myself. In this process I have come up with and walked several creative projects in and around my house, which I have found enjoyable, fascinating and challenging. However, in taking on this hobby, I also became aware of another pattern – that of irrational prioritization and placing an unmotivated amount of value on projects/things/tasks – that in turn creates stress, anxiety and worry.

Irrational prioritization is when something, that when observed in a wider context, is of no real impact, is seen as REALLY important. This happened to me with my carpentry hobby. I would come home from work and be tired, cook food, and then to my great dismay find that I had only a small amount of time left to devote myself to my hobby. Other times I would find that I had no time at all. Because of this I started to feel stress and resentment – stress because I had no time to do what I wanted to do/felt was important for me to accomplish – and resentment – because I felt that my work was stealing all of my valuable time that I could have devoted to my hobby.

However, I realized that I could not continue this way of relating to my hobby – and I saw that there was a misalignment with regards to how I prioritized my time. I looked at the point and saw the following: My hobby, it must be something that I do for and as myself, something where I develop and expand myself, my skills, my application, and where I do so as a moment of enjoyment. Carpentry as such is not something that requires me to complete projects, and there is no need to feel stress when I do not have enough time to apply myself within the hobby during a couple of days.

What is of REAL priority and REAL necessity in my life is in-fact such things as MONEY, FOOD, WATER, CLOTHES, TRANSPORTATION, HOUSING, HYGIENE – if those things are not in place there will be consequences – and thus they are a real of REAL importance – REAL priority. If those points are not aligned effectively, and I do not have enough time to get to them, there is a real problem – however – when I do not have enough time to get to my hobby – that is not a problem – it is not an issue – it is simply me not having the time to commit to my hobby.

Thus – what I have come to see is that a lot of my stress have been based on irrational assessments as to how important certain things are in my life. When I have defined and established the real priority/importance of a task/activity – it has been a lot easier to structure my life and move myself without stress. If I have had to little time to get to all the things I have wanted to accomplish, it has been easy to let go of the points that are of no real consequence – and then continue with my day.


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Day 291: Self-forgiveness on Stress and Work Related Fears

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become worked up by my office environment – to work myself up into a state of ‘working frenzy’ where I drive myself forward utilizing fear and anxiety – and where I create this state of adrenaline in my body – where I am on a high and I cannot come down to earth – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not come down to earth – down to my physical body – down back here to what is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become taken for a ride when I am at work in the stress and fear energy that I feel resides in the work environment – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and exist in a state of stress and pressure where I feel constantly pushed to move myself in a state of stress and fear – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself into this state of anxiety and stress – where I am not grounded – and I do not work and apply myself from a grounded starting point but instead exist in my mind in a state of adrenaline and stress

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pump myself up into a state of adrenaline when I go to work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pump myself up into a state of survival when and as I go to work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pump myself up into a state of adrenaline and anxiety and stress when I am working – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate working with stress and anxiety – to associate coming to work and applying myself in work with stress and anxiety – and feel that I am competing with others about being the best that I can be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress myself into working

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate working with stress – and associate waking up on a weekday with stress – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I cannot stop, change and direct this experience within me of being stressful and tense when it comes to working

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to in real time moments change my way of working – from stress – to instead working here in the physical – being effective and moving myself in breath – one moment at a time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself in real time moments to change myself – re-directing my stress and living instead self-directed, effective, movement – taking a breath – and standing effective efficacious here – taking the role of my own directive principle – and thus stating within me that stress and fear is no longer needed cause I take responsibility for and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tense up when I am working – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not continuously remind myself that I am more effective when I work in breath – when I work with the physical – when I work and apply myself here and do not accept and allow myself to stress myself in my work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be tense when I am interacting at my work – and be fearful of my colleagues – and fearful that they think I am not working hard enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful that my boss thinks that I am not working hard enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful that my boss thinks that I am a bad worker and that I produce bad results

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear for my own survival – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself forward in a state of fear and anxiety – believing that this will assure my survival and make certain that I am not going to lose myself in life in a state of poverty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use stress and fear to impress on my colleagues – and use stress, fear and adrenaline to push myself forward in work – believing that I cannot walk/push myself in work without such chemicals in my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to have chemicals in my body to push myself to do anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to feel a drive to be driven – that I need to feel motivated to be motivated – that I need to feel an urge to move – to move – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as these words by my own decision and choice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am charging, and creating this state of adrenaline throughout my day, through participating and moving myself from within and as a stress and fear energy, moving myself from within and as a state of anxiety, instead of moving myself from within and as a physical decision here to work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by my co-workers, and blame my co-workers for me experiencing and moving myself within and as a state of stress

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my co-workers for me feeling stressed, thinking that is their making, and if they would relax more, then I would too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I must make the decision to stand, the decision to not move myself from this stress energy, the decision to not become influenced, and go into that state of fear that is permeating any form of office

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of stress and fear in believing that I will not be as effective in my work if I do not participate in stress and fear

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself work without stress and fear driving me – and I commit myself to replace my drive with a the desire to expand, improve and become more efficient at what I am doing

I commit myself to remind myself that I am more effective when I do not stress and fear

I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to be captivated and entranced by the ‘feel’ at work of stress and anxiety

I commit myself to make a stand within myself and in that decide that I am going to walk my day at the office within and as groundedness and stability – and that I am not going to participate within and as stress

When and as I see myself becoming stress, or building up a charge of adrenaline, I stop, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am creating this state through thinking, through participating in the experiences coming up, and that require to in that moment in a direct manner, push through that possession and ground myself back into my physical body – and thus I commit myself to push and will myself through that experience – to be intense in that pushing through – and reground and earth myself here – and apply/work/participate from within and as that state of being grounded – here