Tag Archives: understanding

Day 53: Productivity Instead of Stress

Today I had a intense start on the day – because what happened was that during yesterday I became tired, and I decided to take a rest – and within this I said to myself that I would postpone some of my responsibilities and rather do them as I woke up the next day. So, the next day arrived and I found myself being really tired, which meant that I as I got up I didn’t have that much time to walk my responsibilities as I had planned.

productivityThis made me stressed, and somewhat anxious – and on top of this my two cats always requires some attention in the morning, as they are both to come in and get some breakfast, and then also go out again. So, this point awoke within me a reaction of stress, and anxiety – and this in turn resulted in me becoming irritable, and frustrated – wherein I felt that my cat’s where bothering me, and that my responsibilities were bothering me – and that everything, and everyone was simply “taking my time” – and that “there was not enough time to do the stuff I’d planned to do”.

Thus – what I am able to see is that firstly – this stress point is simply not supportive at all, I mean – I can’t accept, and allow myself to become stressed about my responsibilities, as that will not in anyway help me to complete what it is that I am doing – and secondly – I must allow myself to be flexible with my responsibilities, and understand that sometimes my body do require some rest, and I might simply not have the time to walk my responsibility – and that this is not something to make a big deal about, but instead to find a solution – and to maybe direct myself to walk that particular responsibility on a day when I don’t have to go to the work, and simply postpone the point for some days – realizing that it’s better to actually walk the point with sufficient time to do it properly than simply stressing about like a hunted animal trying to do as “much as possible” not realizing that – it doesn’t work that way – and that being effective with a particular point requires more than just “doing it” – it requires that I am HERE with the point – and for me to be HERE with the point it requires that I’ve structured my time so that I am able to give myself the needed moment to immerse myself in the point and do it specifically, and effectively.

This also reveals an interesting pattern as to how I tend to approach responsibilities – I see it as – when I get it done, and I’ve walked the point – then it’s cool; but within this I do not consider the quality of what I’ve done – but more consider that “I’ve done it” – and because of that it’s cool. Obviously this is not how it works – because the quality of what I do means A LOT – and that I can do lot’s of things during a day but if I haven’t done these points specifically they won’t be of much worth – for example – a house that I build fast and sloppily will stand for a shorter time than a house that I build effectively, specifically and meticulously.

Thus – a point I want to give myself is to allow myself to further push the point of patience, and allowing myself to take my time – and stop trying to do “as many things as possible” – and instead decide to do a few things yet do these points effectively, and specifically – realizing and understanding that I don’t have to rush, and that I don’t have to “just do it” – if I actually allow myself to structure my time effectively, and do that in such a way that I have enough time to really get into the point I am working with.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush to get things done, and do as many points as possible, and apparently be as “productive as possible” – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that when I accept, and allow myself to walk, and participate from this starting point what I produce will lack quality – and substance – because I have not given myself the necessary time to walk, and direct the point specifically, and effectively here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am effective when I am participating in points from a starting point of stress, and “moving fast” and that the more I do – the better I am – and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breath, and bring myself back here to the physical – and within this accept and allow myself to stop trying to get as many things done as possible – and instead work in the moment – work within and as breath – and walk each breath to completion and try to do more than what I am able and capable to do in one breath

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I stress a point, and try to get a point done only to get it done – I am compromising myself, and I am compromising the results of the point – and really it’s not even of any worth to pursue the point when I am in such a state of hastiness, and hurriedness – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not slow myself down, and to walk my responsibilities effectively – and when I see that there is not enough time for me to do this – to instead decrease the amount of responsibilities that I have – realizing that I can’t do everything in a physical reality that is based upon time, and space – there is only so much time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that in trying to do as many things as possible I am in-fact compromising myself, and that really – it’s better to give my focus and attention unto doing some points – and then giving myself sufficient with time to concentrate, and to immerse myself in those points – and give myself fully to those points without being distracted with fear, and stress; and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I move myself from within and as stress – I am not particularly effective at all – in-fact I am the opposite and I am only doing to feel productive – instead of doing to in-fact be productive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that there is a difference between feeling as if I am productive, and in-fact being productive – and that feeling productive happens when I do something – but being productive happens when I am HERE fully while doing something – and participating with the point in a state of fully receptivity, and hereness – and I see, realize, and understand that such a point of productivity – can only exist when and as I accept and allow myself to give myself the necessary time, and space to walk the point effectively without having time on my shoulder as a demon screaming to me that “my time is up! And I need to immediately move to the next point!”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice giving myself time – in realizing that I have to push myself to in-fact allow myself to do less points – yet doing these points within having more time – as such allowing myself immerse myself more in the points and in-fact be productive instead of only feeling productive

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am rushing and trying to get “as many points done as possible” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that when I move myself from this starting point I am not being effective in what I am doing – and that I might feel productive but I am not in-fact productive as a real point; as such I commit myself to slow down and give myself the time to walk each point specifically – and accept the point that there is not unlimited with time – and as such I must focus my time on some points that I want to pursue – and that this is simply how this reality functions and is not something I can get away from; as such I commit myself to structure my time according to reality – and according to the point of giving myself the time necessary to effectively walk my responsibilities calmly, specifically, and effectively – here

When and as I see that I am stressing, and I am trying to get as many points done as possible – simply to get them done – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that to only do something doesn’t mean that I’ve in-fact done something effectively – and as such I realize that I need time, and space to walk a point effectively and that I must give myself this; as such I commit myself to stop trying to save time – and instead use the time I need to walk a point effectively until I am satisfied with the point

When and as I see that I am in a state of hastiness, and hurriedness – as trying to get things done now – fast – and save time; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I am within this compromising myself and the points I am walking – because I am not walking them with the necessary diligence, and specificity – but instead mass-producing without any regard for quality; as such I commit myself to practice patience – and practice producing quality and being okay with using the time I need, and require to walk a point effectively, and specifically until I am satisfied with myself

When and as I see that I am structuring my time to get as many points done as possible, in fear of missing out – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I see, realize, and understand that I can’t do everything – it’s not physically possible – and as such it’s better that I focus upon some points, and stabilize myself effectively within these – and make sure that I have the time to pursue these points effectively; as such I commit myself to structure the time of my day not around fear of missing out – but instead around using my time effectively and giving myself the time I need to walk a point specifically, and detailed

When and as I feel productive because I stress, and get “many things done” – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that feeling productive is not the same as in-fact being productive, I mean there is a real difference – in that being productive is something that entails presence and actual quality – while feeling productive is just a internal mental experience and nothing real; as such I commit myself to in-fact be productive – which entails that I am HERE and that I dedicate myself to the point that I am walking and not only try to get it done as fast as possible

I commit myself to give myself the time necessary to walk the points I’ve selected for myself to walk effectively – and to prioritize my time – and to prioritize the points I am walking – to as such use my time effectively and not plan in to much, and not plan in to little – but instead plan perfectly; as such I commit myself to practice planning my time effectively to support productivity instead of stress

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Day 37: Colonialism – From Crusades To Mutual Sharing and Exploration

In this blog I will explore that concept, and practice of colonialism – and ask the questions – what is the problems with colonialism? How to change colonialism into a solution? And what will be the rewards for giving colonialism a solution that is best for all?

According to Wikipedia – colonialism is defined as:

300px-Punch_Rhodes_ColossusColonialism is the establishment, exploitation, maintenance, acquisition and expansion of colonies in one territory by people from another territory. It is a set of unequal relationships between the colonial power and the colony and between the colonists and the indigenous population.

Thus – colonialism is the practice of one country in essence taking control of another country – and using that colony in order to supply the home country with resources. The concept is closely related to imperialism – though the distinction can be made that – imperialism is the ideology, and colonialism the practice of seizing land from other people for purposes of enrichment.

Problem

The problem with colonialism is obvious – in essence it’s a form of theft – wherein one country by force take control of another country – suppressing democracy, and the voice’s of the indigenous population – taking their resources, and disabling the self-sustaining economy of the country – so that the first country (home-country) can have more. This is obviously a problem because the results of this type of practice is that the people of the colonized country will experience much hardship, and suffering – and even though colonialism is now regarded as a event of the past – the consequences of this practice still echo into our day and time – wherein almost all the countries that once upon a time was colonized – now experience dysfunctional economies, and ineffective systems of government.

I mean –it’s obvious common sense that one do not go and steal the livelihood of another person and claim that as one’s own – simply because one want to have more – it’s a unacceptable practice because in the process one destroy the lives of others. Here we can apply the principle of do unto another, as you’d like to be done unto yourself – and within this it’s easy to see that colonialism is not something that we’d like to be done unto ourselves. Imagine that tomorrow a man enters your home – and say’s that your home is now not yours anymore – but is the property of some king in a far-distant country – and that you now may only use the toilet as your home, because the rest of the apartment is confiscated and is now the resource of this king. Would you like that? I mean – I know that I wouldn’t like that very much at all – and as such it’s clear that colonialism is a crime against human rights – the right to have a home, and to be able to govern yourself, and have access to that which you need, and require to live a dignified life.

So – why did colonialism occur? As I see it – colonialism is the product of one thing, and one thing only – greed! And what supported this greed to take root, and become a entire way of living is a lack of consideration, care, and respect for other people – their needs, and cultural heritage. Thus – really – colonialism is the product of ineffective education – because obviously those people that decided to colonize must have been taught as youngsters that it’s completely okay to ravage, and pillage another’s belongings for your own self-interest – at least as long as you’ve some justification for doing it – such as – I did it for my country! Or, I did it because I must survive!

But really – harming others for one’s own survival, or because some type of monarchy give an order is not an acceptable cause – and it simply indicates how brainwashed we as children become to make up all kinds of really insubstantial stories in our mind’s in order for us to go out and commit the most horrid crimes.

We only have to look at history to see human beings – for no apparent practical reason – leaving their home to conquer, and expand their empires – and using some really stupid justification to do so – for example – in Europe during the dark ages people left their home’s and went down to Arabia and fought battles, and conquered land – apparently as a “holy crusade” – because apparently god told them to do so – I mean – that’s a terrible justification – god? What god? Really it was all about the MONEY and that Europeans desperately wanted, and desired some of that Arabic gold to hang in their living room – and feel really cool about all the battles that they’d won.

So – colonialism is really a disease that springs from greed, fear, and also – stupidity – which is equal to brainwashing – as parents tend to make their children very stupid as they teach them all the cultural brainwashing as justifications to enable them to commit crimes of atrocity.

The question we should ask ourselves is – why haven’t we utilized the notion of traveling to other places to SUPPORT and HELP people? To instead of taking from them – GIVING – sharing our technological advancements, and our cultural life supportive traits – to as such form a cool and mutually beneficial relationship with the other country?

Solution

Colonialism implies that people from different cultures, upbringings, and backgrounds meet each other – there is a cultural exchange – and this is how colonialism could be changed into a SOLUTION as a having a outcome that is BEST FOR ALL – instead of colonialism being the barbaric plundering of another persons home.

Because – consider for example the Spanish, and Portuguese as they sailed over the Atlantic and met the Indians in South America – what did they do? Well – the successfully managed to destroy an entire nation, and kill most of the indigenous population – BUT – what could they have done instead? They could have arrived as explorers, and ambassadors of another civilization – with open arms – with one objective – to give as they’d like to receive – to give to the South Americans those things that made the Spanish, and the Portuguese effective in their day-to-day living – and within this the South Americans could have shared their realizations, insights, and understandings in relation to effective day-to-day living – and within this we’d have an expansion, and growth of human excellence – as two worlds come together and share with each-other that which makes them effective.

This is also a point we can use in our own day-to-day lives – to consider that in meeting new people, and in seeing that which is effective, honorable, and respectable with another’s way of living – to instead of becoming jealous at them, and competing with them – learn from them – ask them – “Hey, I’ve seen that you do this thing very effectively – exactly how is it that you do?” – and within this we could instead of seeing our traits, and skills as our personal belongings that is for us, and us only – share them with those in our world that we see can become more effective in regards to those particular skills and qualities; within this we would have GROWTH and we’d have EXPANSION.

Because we didn’t do this as we met other cultures, and discovered new land – we now have a world that is divided – where racial hatred, and discrimination rules – instead of mutual sharing, and learning – and that is obviously really sad, and regrettable – BUT – we can still CHANGE!

The solution is always here – what is required is that we live it – and decide to give regardless of whether anyone else decide to do so as well – and as such we stand as the example of what it means to be a considerate, caring, and loving human being – a human being that love’s on a whole other level than merely through emotions, and feelings – but a PRACTICAL, and TANGIBLE love – that can be seen in the form of actual gifts, sharing, and non-judgmental communication – wouldn’t that be a awesome way to live?

Rewards

How come the Chinese people are so effective in collectivistic movement? How come the finish people have the best schools in the world? How come the Germans are so disciplined and steadfast? I mean – these are just generalizations – but the point I want to make here is that – if we’d instead of competing with other nations, and people of different cultures come to them without any bias or secretive agenda – we could instead LEARN and EXPAND ourselves – and take that which we see others do really, really good – and apply it in our own life’s – and make the skill, and ability we see in another our own; and this would be the reward for stopping the process of colonization – and changing colonization into equal sharing – communication – and mutual learning.

As a world – we could expand and walk through, and correct lot’s of the problems we face today – as all the collective understanding of the world is used, and applied – coming together for one purpose – to create a world that is best for all in every way. We’d have a world with no more wars – with no more discrimination – with no more genocide – and with no more theft crusades of greed – we’d instead have a world of a mutual respect, and consideration between people, cultures, and countries – and as such – fear would be NO MORE.

Wouldn’t that be something? A world with no more fear – no more war – and no more distrust – that is where I want to live.

 

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Day 32: I Am Really Good – Just Not This Time!

I am continuing on the subject of nervousness in relation to school. After the last time I wrote here I’ve done my exams, and within doing that I went into lots of nervousness – despite the fact that I’ve worked so rigorously with the point. Within this I realized that I am not yet getting to the origin point – the problem so to speak – and that I’ve yet to find the dysfunction within me that creates this pattern of nervousness.

Thus – I’ve in order to familiarize myself more with nervousness as an experience bought some interviews from Eqafe that are giving a perspective on nervousness, and also suggesting a step-by-step solution as how to transcend and move through nervousness.

Now – in these interviews the nervousness that is being expanded upon, and explained is in relation to talking to lot’s of people – standing before a crowd – the nervousness I experience comes up in a different setting yet the symbolism of the events are the same. Because when I sit and write my exam I face the same point of a evaluating crowd – because the exam I write will be reviewed by professors, and it will gain me a particular mark – and this will then possibly be seen by future employees, my family, and so on – thus – I am not just writing a test but I am actually indirectly standing before the unknown as that which I am not able to calculate, and control – just as with standing before a crowd.

Thus – I will utilize the same step-by-step method in order to take apart my nervousness here as is suggested in relation to nervousness that comes up when facing crowds.

Unfortunately I can’t reveal the exact nature of the step-by-step nature – as it’s a product that is sold at the eqafe store – thus if you want to find out exactly how to do this that I am going to do in the coming blogs, you’ll have to purchase the interviews for yourself. What I am going to share here is the self-forgiveness, self-corrective statements, and the self-writing – but I am not going to go into detail as to the nature of the method that I am working by.

Still – anyone reading this and that are struggling with nervousness of a similar nature can utilize these writings as a support structure, and then if you want to further your understanding, and application of yourself in relation to this point – I suggest to you invest in these interviews:

https://eqafe.com/p/deconstructing-nervousness-atlanteans-part-89
https://eqafe.com/p/overcoming-nervousness-atlanteans-part-90
https://eqafe.com/p/overcoming-nervousness-part-2-atlanteans-part-91
https://eqafe.com/p/sounding-self-forgiveness-for-nervousness-atlanteans-part-92
https://eqafe.com/p/finalising-nervousness-support-atlanteans-part-93

Self-writing

I am going to begin with opening up how it is that I see myself before I make an exam – what is it that I think of myself? And it’s fascinating – because I see that I have a positive excitement experience towards the prospect of writing my exams; I will have thoughts of the nature such as “yeah! I know I am good at writing exams!” – “This time I will be much more calm, and relaxed than the last time!” – “If I just study enough for this exam everything will go smoothly!” – “I am smart, so I know that nothing can go wrong really!”.

So – what I am doing here is that I am creating a positive self-image of myself in relation to my test – that fascinatingly enough – isn’t real – which results in me becoming disappointed with myself, and feeling like a failure – when it is that I sit down to do my exams and up comes lot’s of nervousness, and anxiety. The first thing I got to do is as such to remove all these positive ideas I have of myself – because they are really just that – ideas and not a real living statement as who I am.

Self-forgiveness

children examI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive idea of myself in relation to me doing my exams – wherein I imagine within me that I have an easy time doing exams, that I usually tend to be cool, and calm – and that I tend to be effective in writing my exams – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not look at the reality of how I experience myself – which is that I tend to become very nervous, I tend to doubt myself, and I tend to fear what might, or might not happen when it is that I sit down to write my exams

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be honest with myself in seeing, realizing, and understanding that I tend to hold unto fear of the unknown, and fear of failure to a large extent – and that as such – my experience with writing my exams are really uncomfortable, and not very pleasurable, or calm at all – a complete contradiction to who I believe myself to be in my mind – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not remove and form of positive experience, and idea of myself in relation to writing my exams – and as such instead work with what is real – and how I actually experience myself in writing my tests

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine within myself before writing a test – that everything will go great, and within this feel a slight tinge of superiority – as feeling that “hey! I am awesome at writing exams – this will be fun!” – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this positive – energy – accumulation in relation to writing my test isn’t real – but is a mechanism of suppression that I utilize in order to not have to face the real me – as the real experience of myself within and as me writing my exams

Self-commitments

When it is that I go into and as a experience of excitement, superiority, and positive projection towards the future as writing my exams – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that this positive experience that I am having in relation to writing my exams – it isn’t real – but merely a suppression mechanism that I use so that I won’t have to face, and deal with the real experience of me while writing my exams – which is fear, and nervousness; as such I commit myself to breath and to not create any idea of myself – to not picture myself in my mind as being good at writing my test – but instead stay with the physical – stay here – and not go into energy as excitement, or superiority

When it is that I see I am becoming disappointed with myself when I write my exams, because I’ve become nervous, and filled with anxiety, even though I imagined myself within my mind that I wouldn’t experience myself in this way – and that I instead would be stable, calm, and easily write my exams – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that there is nothing to become disappointed in – because my initial dreams of myself weren’t even real but based upon illusion as participating in the mind reality instead of living here; as such I commit myself to bring me back to what is actually here as me in the moment – and not have any expectations, and ideas of myself that I can’t cross-reference and confirm to be real in the physical – in this moment here

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Self-imageWikipedia: A person’s self-image is the mental picture, generally of a kind that is quite resistant to change, that depicts not only details that are potentially available to objective investigation by others (height, weight, hair color, gender, I.Q. score, etc.), but also items that have been learned by that person about himself or herself, either from personal experiences or by internalizing the judgments of others.

Day 29: Test-anxiety – The Calm Before The Storm (Part 16)

Because I’ve now walked this character for some time – I’ve begun to experience a sense of ease, and peace within me in relation to studying for my test – I do not anymore experience it as this life, and death-situation – and when I am studying – I am simply sitting there studying.

the_calm_before_the_storm__by_dead_mans_hand-d497pd9Though, there are some lingering thoughts left within me that disturb me – and that I notice are coming from fear, and anxiety. One of these thoughts is a fantasy, a projection of me doing the test – me sitting in the examination-hall – looking down at my papers – trying to remember all the information that I’ve been studying so feverishly – sitting there being nervous as to what question is going to come – and within that projection – I can see how I am thinking about whether I’ve forgotten something – what if I’ve studied the wrong things? What if I’ve made a crucial mistake and I am going to regret myself – and I am going to walk out of this hall and feel like shit?

What I’ve understood is that the grades on my test DO NOT DEFINE ME – but I’ve not fully lived this understanding in flesh – because – I still do believe that the grades I will receive on this test will define who I am – will define my very future – will be the very point that is going to either have me make it, or break it – fascinating – because in looking at my life up to this point – I am able to see how insignificant the results on the tests that I’ve taken have been in actually influencing my ability to stand, live, and walk in this system – what has been important has instead been my dedication to the particular subject – and me actually learning, comprehending, and understanding information in school – because that is something that I’ve been able to take with me – and use later in my life; though obviously – the grades have had some influence – as to what university courses I’ve been able to apply to – so – it’s not to say that they are meaningless – but obviously – they are not everything of the education – only a part.

Thus here it is to understand that – even though I do not receive the best grade – it doesn’t mean that I’ve failed my entire education – it only means that I’ve failed with one objective that I set for myself as to what type of results I want to have in walking this education – and thus – it’s important to not make it TO BIG – but to see it for what it is – and then look at SOLUTIONS.

I mean – it’s fascinating – when I go into fear, anxiety, nervous, and worry – that’s everything that exists to me – nothing else exists but this fear, anxiety, nervousness, and worry – and thus I completely forget that I am able to implement and live solutions – to in such a way make sure that I do receive the grade that I want to have – so – I can see that this process is a “double process” so to speak – meaning – I must walk the INNER change – meaning – let go of fear, and self-definitions in relation to achieving in school – and then walk a OUTER process – as in-fact establishing solutions so that I am able to get the grades that I want to have – because I see that it can be useful for me in terms of opening up opportunities in the system in the future.

The key is to – let go of the bullshit – and then focus on facing, correcting, and walking through real physical reality – which involve finding, and implementing solutions – it shouldn’t be that difficult!

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that fear, anxiety, and nervousness is a solution to my problems – and that when I go into and enter this form of experience – everything will be okay – because apparently I am dealing with my reality, and I am sorting out points in my world when I go into stress, fear, anxiety, and nervousness – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand how this is NOT TRUE – and that when I go into a experience – I mean – I am simply going into an experience – and there is nothing within which change the situation that I am facing – it’s simply me postponing actually dealing with the real – physical – and actual problems that I am facing in my day to day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the mind is really one big excuse – it’s one big justification to not have to deal with real – physical – reality – it’s function is to make me feel certain particular experiences – and within that go into, and loose myself in this experience – and think that I am now “dealing with reality” because I am in this “though experience” – while really I am just lost in my mind fighting demons that aren’t real – and then letting my reality go to shit – because I am not bringing myself back here – and developing – walking – a PHYSICAL PRACTICAL SOLUTION

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that this is also reflected in the functioning of the world system – wherein there are countless of activists, and revolutionaries trying to change the system – and they protest – become angry – and feel like they are treated badly – and they rebel – and they feel superior and good about themselves – and the win, and they loose – and they are in this orgy of experience – but NO ONE is breathing here – looking at the practical physical situation – and then in breath – in the simplicity of self-movement – simply doing that which is needed in order to correct the point – and bring the point to a conclusion – as what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that there are specific tools of support available in my world for me to become more effective in my reading skills – and thus in me integrating the information in the courses that I am walking – – and that thus – there are actual SOLUTIONS available here – all I have to do is to get out of this completely unnecessary experience of fear – and go into a solution immediately – and simply stop fear – because it doesn’t get me anywhere what so ever!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, and believe that the more I think about my test – and the more I fear my test – the better it will go for me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create some type of ritualistic belief within me – like a voodoo doll – wherein my thoughts of fear are these sacrifices that I make to the “test-god” that he will treat me benevolently and have me score a good mark – not seeing, realizing, and understanding that FEAR doesn’t help me – I mean I’ve proved this to myself countless of times – fear makes me ineffective – fear makes me stress, and not read information properly – fear makes me stupid – fear makes me not able to think, and consider the information that is here in a open-minded – and relaxed state of being – I meaning – I know this because I’ve done tests in fear before in my life time – and I’ve always managed to exceed when I’ve been relaxed, and comfortable – and not stressed as to the outcome of the test

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give up the desire for my life to be a life of excellence – and instead focus, and give my life to creating a world that is best for all – thus within this – giving up self-interest – and within this giving up fear – as fear can only exist where self-interest exist – and thus I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to study – and do my test – and aim for a good mark – from within and as the starting point of placing myself in a position in this world where I am able to have influence – and make a difference – as walking for all – and not for my own self-interest as fear – but instead walking – and making studies to be about everyone, and everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I hold no personal value to points in my world – I do not fear loosing the points – thus fear is a product of me placing value separate from me – thinking that I require certain external points in my world in order to keep me stable – and keep my sane – and keep me going – and within this I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to breath – and to let go of this value that I’ve separated from myself – and instead see, realize, and understand – that the only value that exist – is the value of this moment here – as me living life as what is best for all – thus value being equal to life – as living by a principle that will bring forth true excellence on a global and existential level

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am holding unto fear, anxiety, and nervousness, thinking that these experiences are helping me – that they are making me more safe, and that me having these experiences imply that I am taking care of my world – and reality – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that in essence – everything that is of the mind – as a mental projection have no value in this physical world – some points do – that are aligned with the physical and that can be directly applied into and as this physical world with direct results – for example mathematics – but FEAR – that is of NO USE – and is simply holding me back from implementing a solution – and living that which I see will actually on a physical level be able to change the situation that I am; as such I commit myself to stop relying on the mind – and fear – for anything – and I instead commit myself to really only upon physical feedback as actual results that I am able to measure – that is trustworthy – nothing else is

When and as I see that I am participating in my mind, as experiences – as feelings – as fear of doing my exams – as fear that I am going to fail – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that fear is useless – meaning that – fear doesn’t help me to do better on my tests – is only a experience – a sort of masochistic entertainment – wherein I go into my mind and think that I am “working with reality” – when really I am just in my mind – and not doing anything what-so-ever in my reality – simply because I am not in reality – as I am in my mind; as such I commit myself to be IN REALITY at all times – and to realize that when I am in fear – I am not in reality – thus not walking HERE and developing solutions – but pacifying myself in the drugs of the mind as emotions, and feelings

When and as I see that I am going into a experience – into fear – into nervousness – into disbelief – instead of developing a solution – locating the problem – defining the problem – clarifying a course of action that I am able to take in order to remove the problem – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that only physical – self-willed – self-movement is valid – and only within walking such a point will I be able to produce real – and actual results for myself – to do have an effect in my life – in the life’s of others

When and as I see that I am going into fear – which is a form of ignorance – as not being clear as to what I am facing – and exactly how to deal with, and walk through what I am facing – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand – that I will only have results when I stick to the facts of what is here – when I work with facts – as reality – that is when real results will come to fruition; as such I commit myself to work with what is real – with what I KNOW – because that is certain – and that is not a fluffy experience – but something that I am able to cross-reference – and be completely certain about

When, and as I see that I am feeling safe, and secure because I experience fear towards a particular point – and within this thinking that me having this fear means that I will be really motivated, and ambitious, and take good care of this opportunity – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – fear have never protected anyone – I mean – look at those going to war – soldiers – all of them possessed with fear – yet still how many is coming back from the war? Not many – only a few survive regardless of whether they experienced fear or not – and as such I commit myself to not fear – but to stick with facts – with what I know is proof – real – and valid – because that will bring me actual results

When and as I see that I am looking at my life as “my life” – as a separate island from all other human beings – and that I within that go into desires, and fears – as what I desire my life to become, and what I fear that my life could become – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand – that real peace – and real comfortableness with myself – can only be achieved when I let go of myself – as my self-interest – and my desire to lead and have a special life – and instead give up my one life to live for everyone – to live for all – as that implies giving up my inner reality of madness to instead focus upon that which is value to everyone; as such I commit myself to give up this one life – and dedicate this one life to the creation of a solution that is best for all in everyway – as such let go of self-interest – and let go of fear – and instead live for all

When and as I see that I am going into fear – as I fear loosing points in my world, because I’ve placed a personal value unto these points in my world – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – when I let go of placing value outside of myself – I will become untouchable – because not anymore will me stability, and foundation be based upon points that change – that are changeable in their very nature – but instead my stand will be HERE as breath – solid – because breath is ALWAYS here – the same – yesterday, today, and tomorrow – and such I commit myself to let go of personal value – and instead stand as breath in every moment – and be re-born in each in-breath – and let go – and die – in out-breath

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Day 26: Test-anxiety – The Results Are Back! (Part 15)

test resultsContinuing with test anxiety. Today I got back some results on a paper that I’d written, and I reacted in anxiety, fear, and nervousness – and as I opened the document to look at my results my heart began to race, and I felt that the blood in my body was pumping around much faster – revealing that I was within that moment possessed in fear.

What I realized was that this fear experience didn’t happen in that moment – it’s an outflow of many moments, many thoughts, and my fantasies – that I’ve then accumulated in my mind – and then this dammed energy comes up in one moment as they are triggered by an event. Thus – what I am going to do here in this blog-post is to locate exactly what I’ve thought, and fantasized about in order bring about this particular fear.

Firstly – I see that I’ve for some days excitedly been awaiting the results, and I’ve acted this point out through going unto the web each day, and looking if the results had arrived – and this was actually one of my first thoughts as I wake up this day – to go and check my student-login and find out if the results had arrived – thus what I am able to see is that this particular pattern presents a hope, and a desire – which means that I desired a good result – and due to this I also created the polarity opposite of desire which is fear.

In looking at what desire that lies behind my reaction – I am able to see that it’s not really a desire for a better life, it’s not a desire for material possessions as in getting a good job later, due to having received very good grades in school – the desire is instead in relation to my name, my standing, and my idea of myself as who I am in this world – and I’ve defined myself to be a “intelligent person” – and thus my desire is to keep, and retain this idea of myself – and to be able to feel, and define myself as superior around other people because I’ve received “the best grade”.

Thus – I find it interesting – that the fear I experience is not even a fear that is in relation to MY LIFE so to speak – meaning – that the fear is really about what I’d like others to feel, and think about me – which is fucked up – as it implies that I am living, studying, and breathing to have others see me as I’d like them to see me – instead of me living my life for myself and not worrying about what others might, or might not think about me.

In a way – me getting a good grade on my studies is a way to suppress inferiority, and a state of social angst around people – because when I get a good grade I am able to take that point, define myself as it, and then feel slightly more comfortable with myself – because apparently this point of success make me become slightly more worthy than I was before.

Thus – the key points as living solutions is to live for myself – meaning – to make decisions without worrying what others are going to think about me – and to also – accept myself – and stop looking for others to accept, validate, and recognize myself – thus giving what I desire to myself and not anymore searching for it out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being a intelligent, and intellectual human being, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take pride in, and feel superior to others – due to me feeling that I am more intellectual than others – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this definition, and idea of myself to survive in this world – to survive in social interactions – and to assert myself in fear that if I stand as myself – and simply breath – I will loose myself and not survive in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize an idea of myself – as me being effective, and good in school – in order to create a definition of myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cling to this definition, and idea of myself – and to think that this definition is who I am – and that I must at any cost uphold this definition – because apparently – if I do not uphold this definition of myself – I will cease to exist – and I will not anymore be of any use in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that self-definitions are limited – and that self-definitions are based in fear – the fear of being limitless and without any form of self-created jail – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become comfortable, and take a liking to my self-created jail – as the definition of myself – that I am good in school, that I am intelligent, and that I am intellectual – thinking that this idea, and definition of myself protects in my world – and makes me safe – instead of accepting, and allowing myself to see – realize, and understand – that this definition isn’t real – but merely some memories that I’ve put together within myself – and used to designed a Frankenstein – a dead beingness put together with dead memories – thinking that this is who I am – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without confirming this idea of myself as being good in school, effective, and intellectual – that I will not anymore be able to live, and exist in this world – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself so completely that I believe that I need a thought – and a memory to exist – not realizing that I have the proof here in every breath that I don’t require a thought – and that I don’t require a memory to live, and to express myself – but that what I require is ME to be HERE with me and not lost in my mind and all crap that comes up in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with and as fear, and anxiety of loosing my idea of myself as being something special – which is really what it’s all about – that I want to be special, and that I use my education as a way to fuel this idea of myself, and definition of myself that I am special – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted, and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand – that desiring to be special – and thinking that I am special – is a jail that I’ve designed for myself – a trap – and a complete stop – wherein I am not anymore allowing myself to expand, and to move myself out from a state of fear – and into my flesh – and into real physical – breath by breath living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to let go of my self-definition of myself as having a special purpose in this life – and of the definition of myself as being a winner – and as being something more than average – because I see that this very definition of me is limitation – and even though it feels good to think that I am special, and a winner – what hides behind everything is fear – is the fear of being looked at by others as useless, and worthless – and as less than – and thus the search for specialness – reveals to me that I’ve not yet accepted myself – and decided to love myself regardless of where I am in this world – or who I am in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understanding that searching to be special – and searching to be a winner is in-fact self-hatred – and self-bullying – wherein I am implying that I am not good enough before I’ve managed to show to myself that I am a winner – and that I deserve my love – and that I deserve my acceptance of myself – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to say – enough is enough – now I will stop this inner rat race and finally accept myself – and allow myself to loose – because the beauty of loosing is that I can then focus upon being with myself – and letting myself live – because that is the problem with trying to win – that in doing that I’m missing out on life and living

When and as I see that I am defining myself as being special, and as a winner – and I seek to uphold, and assert this idea of myself through getting good grades in school – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t need to feel special, and that I don’t need to think that I am a winner – and I don’t need a definition of myself what-so-ever in order to be here – and love me – and accept me; as such I commit myself to let go of the hunt for specialness – and to let go of my definition of myself as being more than average – and instead allow myself to love myself – and accept myself – and enjoy living instead of searching for the win

When and as I see that I am going into a state of hastiness – as trying to “get there” because over “there” I’ll apparently be able to assert my definition of myself as being the best – and being special – I immediately stop myself – I take a breath – and I bring myself back here – and I commit myself to BE HERE – with myself – and live here – to stop trying to get there – as I see that there is the biggest lie, and illusion that have ever been promulgated in this world – as it implies that I can only be fulfilled and whole in the future – when the only point that is real and actual is HERE as this moment in this very breath

When and as I see that I am going into a state of survival – as using memories within me to substantiate an idea of myself that I am special, unique, and a winner – intellectual, and intelligent – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – memories are not alive – memories do not show me who I am – memories are in-fact lies of the past imposing themselves to be me – while the fact of the situation is that I am HERE – and that I am not a memory – but that I am a living being able to make decisions and move myself by common sense here – and as such not in need of a memory-character to tell me who I am; as such I commit myself to live without a character – and without memories – and without a definition of myself – and push myself to stand bare as breath – as a new born baby in every moment of breath HERE

PossessionDemonic possession, psychokinetic control of a person by the Devil or other malevolent spirit

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Day 24: Test-anxiety – Self-Punishment (Part 13)

selfpunishmentHow do I get things done when I study? How do I get myself to sit down to study? Well – mostly I will experience a sense of anxiety, and nervousness – and I will then start to talk in my head about what is bad about me if I do not sit down and study – and as such I will generate a form of conflict within me, and then from within that move myself to actually go and study – thus what I am doing is that I am moving myself through self-punishment, and through the utilization of fear.

This is how governments motivate, and move their people – they utilize the fear of eventual punishment – which could be fear of lacking money, or fear of going to prison – and then these produce movement in society to get particular points sorted out and dealt with.

But isn’t there another way? How come I require fear to move myself? What I’ve realized is that fear is a substitute for principled living. In principled living one do not need fear – because one UNDERSTAND and COMPREHEND what it is one is doing, and why – as such – taking this back to myself – I would not require fear to go and do my studies because I’d be clear on why I do them, and also be clear on the fact that I don’t require fear to move myself to go and do my studies, because it’s simply a decision that I make in a moment here.

Thus – fear is the lazy man’s alternative to developing the ability to live by and as principles, and a understanding – as such I will deal with and correct this particular point and change my way of moving myself to study from fear to being a principle – meaning – that I understand why I study, I know what the consequences will be if I don’t – and then I move myself to produce a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need fear in order to motivate, and move myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of fear – in fear that I won’t anymore move, or direct myself – but that I will come to a stand still in my world and that nothing will happen anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is good for me – and that fear helps me to take care of myself in my world, and make my life easier, and more comfortable – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust fear more than myself – and to believe that fear is something I need in order to function, and know how to deal with, and how to walk, and behave in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself to move myself – and to fear letting go of this self-punishment character – in fear that I won’t do anything if I let go of this point – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself – and to not realize that I am able to move, and direct myself in this world – and do so by and through principled living – do so by clear understanding – and within this I won’t need any fear, or anxiety – I won’t need any form of experience – because I simply see what is required to be done and then I move and direct myself to get it done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am better when I punish myself – that I move myself more effectively, and that I get more things done – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of self-punishment – and believe that in letting go of self-punishment I am going to loose some very important part of myself that is required for me to be able to function in this world effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become used to, and accept myself giving me direction – and guiding myself in this world by the use of fear, anxiety – and inferiority – as threats that I direct towards myself to get myself going – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to develop self-movement, and self-discipline – seeing that I don’t require fear, or punishment to move myself – it’s simply a decision as to who I am – and then a doing – as moving myself in the direction where I see that I have to go – and it’s as simple as that

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself that I would take care of myself, and that I would take care of my life – if I’d fully, and completely let go of all fear – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must have fear in order to feel any sense of responsibility and commitment towards my life – thinking that with no fear I will just give up upon everything and remove myself from my life – and go and sleep all day long because I simply don’t care – instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding that I don’t require fear to care – and to love – and to be passionate about my day to day living within and as this world

When and as I see that I am using fear, and self-punishment to move myself to get things done – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that I don’t require self-punishment to get things done – I don’t require fear to get things done – I require me deciding and living my decision here; as such I commit myself to develop myself as principled living – living by understanding, and decisions that I make and not by fear, and self-punishment

I commit myself to stop trusting fear – to stop giving attention to fear – to stop believing that fear will care for me – that fear will protect me – and that fear is a necessary part of my life; and I instead commit myself to birth myself here and stop fear – and instead make decisions, and move myself by and through understanding, and living principled here

I commit myself to stop distrusting myself, to stop believing that I am not able to live without fear – and that I would without fear simply give up upon my life – and all my responsibilities – and within this I commit myself to understand that I am able to decide and will myself to live – what I require, and see that is best for me to live and participate within – thus fear is completely not needed

When and as I see that I am using fear to get me to go and study, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – fear is limitation – fear is stupidity – and fear is simply not reasonable in anyway – it’s simply a paranoia – something that isn’t meant to exist in this world what so ever – as such I commit myself to move myself to do my studies by and through a decision – as in understanding the outflows of my decisions – and then moving myself to produce the outflow that I want to have in my world – and that I see is best for all

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Day 13: Test-anxiety – Fear of Wasting Time (Part 3)

An interesting point that I’ve noticed as I’ve studied for tests here at the university is that – when I’ve spent much time preparing myself – being diligent, and specific about knowing, and comprehending each detail of the course that I’ve read – is that I will fear not getting the best grade – because if I don’t – then apparently I’ve spent all the time I’ve been preparing myself in vain.

fearoffailureAnd this is a interesting point – because it shows to me that I want to have success – yet I am not willing to face the possibility of failure that is always a constant when I challenge myself, and go after something that I know will be difficult for me to achieve. I want to have the success – yet within this I fear reaching for, and bringing myself to success – because I fear the possibility of failure.

But obviously – I can’t reach greatness – pushing myself beyond my limitations, beyond what I believe myself to be capable of – when I fear failure – and the solution I’ve created in my mind is to simply not go after the success at all and let myself fail immediately, because then I won’t have to walk through the suspense of not knowing whether I will succeed or not.

Now – the problem here is not whether I will fail, or succeed – the problem here is WHO I AM within all of this – because one thing is clear – if I do not define myself according to either success, or failure – if I do not create fear towards failure, and desire towards success – I mean – then I am really FREE to move and participate in this reality according to the laws of physics – and to challenge, and push myself without putting anything of “me” into it – because I know that – whether I succeed, or fail – I will remain the same – here – breathing – stable – without emotion – without feeling – and without thought.

Thus – being stable in regards to the outcome of my actions, and my plans – that is something I must practice – because within infesting my plans, and actions with feelings, and emotions – I am making myself blind – and I make my actions become based upon nonsense – and lack all common sense – because I only see the energies – without realizing that the energies are really not relevant – because what is relevant is what is HERE – as the PHYSICAL – as that which I can TOUCH – SEE – and INTERACT with – that is real.

And here I see that – getting the best grades possible – that is a physical point – that will really make my future life a lot easier – as I will be able to be more stable in regards with money – thus – it’s a point to pursue and manifest – and achieving this point is a success – and not achieving this point is a failure – yet – it doesn’t define WHO I AM – it’s merely practical points of consideration – and the outcome of these points will have consequences in my life but they will not determine me – unless I accept and allow it; and this is the KEY to being stable in this reality – to live the realization that I am in this world – but not off this world.

Self-forgiveness

1. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire success, and to fear failure – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to infest my practical, and physical movement in this reality with feelings, and emotions – and making my participation in this world to be about how I feel – instead of it being about what I see is practical – what is see is beneficial – and what I see is supportive

2. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand – that I can have success, and I can have failure – yet this doesn’t mean that who I am is success, and who I am is failure – because I DECIDE who I am – not external events – as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed with my plans, and to become possessed with a preferred outcome – and to think that these points define who I am – instead of walking breath by breath – and manifesting my plans, and my decisions – without defining myself according to my plans and decisions

3. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I won’t ever get far in this world – and be able to manifest my plans – unless I am willing to accept failure – and embrace failure – because I see, realize and understanding that in striving for success – failure is a probability – but within this it’s to see, realize, and understand that failure is not a bad thing – and it’s not a emotional thing – it’s merely a sign showing to me that I’ve not yet taken into account all practical details required to be looked at for success – and that there is some calibration required for me to in-fact achieve success

4. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want results, and to want success – without being willing to give the effort, and walk the necessary challenges in order for me to get to – and manifest that success – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, and desire success to manifest automatically – and that I am only to have success – and that I am never to face failure – instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that failure is natural part of living – that is not to be feared – but is to be understood and learned from – because from failure – success is born – if failure is utilized, and seen in the correct way

5. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect results without me giving of myself to produce such a result – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving of myself – when I can’t be certain that the results will be what I desire – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understanding – that living within such a fear – will have the consequence that my life never leads anywhere – and that I remain stuck – because I won’t dare to face the uncertainty of life – and accordingly never move myself – but only remain in my confined comfort zone

6. I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that one of the primary reasons as to why so few human-beings manage to do something truly great with their life’s – is because of fear of failure – is because fear of going where self haven’t gone before – is the fear of not having success – and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how our current school system is partly responsible for creating this disease within people – wherein apparently success is the only point that is valued – not realizing that failure is a stepping stone for success – and that real success can’t exist without recognizing, and seeing what failure is – and within this understanding how to direct a failure to become a success

Self-commitments

1. When and as I see and notice that I fear failure, and that I desire success – and that I am accordingly polarizing myself within myself; I immediately stop myself – I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand – that polarizing myself, and my reality into and as energies, and experiences – will not help me – but merely serve the lessen my clarity of seeing – and send me into a living wherein I do not act as what is common sense – but according to what I feel; as such I commit myself to act according to principles – to act according to mathematics – and not according to feelings, and emotions – as these points are not designed to be trustworthy guides of how to live my life

2. When and as I see that I am defining myself according to success, and according to failure – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand – that me being successful, or failing – doesn’t define me – unless I accept and allow it – as such I commit myself to stand – and live in this reality – but not be off this reality – but remain stable – objective – here – within and as breath

3. When and as I see that I resist, and fear failure – and that I try to avoid failure through simply not going for success – challenging myself – and pushing myself to achieve – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand – that in order to succeed – I must be willing to fail – by implication – as success can’t exist without it’s shadow-double – failure – because failure is the point showing to me that I have not yet considered physical reality – and that I as such can’t reach success because I am not here – and it’s as such not my enemy – but my friend – because it’s a teacher pointing to reality saying to me – hey! You’ve not looked at how reality functions – thus you won’t succeed!; as such I commit myself to embrace failure – to learn from failure – and to dare to strive for success even when this might mean that I will fail

4. When and as I see and notice that I want to have success – without willing myself to put in the effort – that hard work – and the discipline required to create such success – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that success will, and can only arrive – and be real – when I’ve physical walked the point into creation – success being that which I’ve created which I thought, and believed was beyond me – and that was a challenge for me to create; as such I commit myself to when I see a challenge to be faced – and I see that walking this challenge could imply success – I push myself to give the effort, and the discipline – and to needed physical walk in order to manifest success here as me

5. When and as I see that I am expecting results – expecting success – without doing what is necessary to produce such results/success – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that success is mathematical in nature – implying that success is a decision that I make and walk in every moment – and not something that just happens randomly, and by luck – as such I commit myself to walk the discipline, and dedication to live by mathematics – and not by feelings, and emotions

6. When and as I see that I avoid walking a particular challenge, and avoid creating my life to be what is best for me as all – because I fear failure – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that failure is the key to success – it’s what shows me what is working, and what isn’t – thus without facing failure I won’t be able to create success; as such I commit myself to face failure – to embrace failure – and to learn from failure – and to as such enable myself to manifest success in my world and reality – and within and as myself

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