Tag Archives: value

Day 435: What is Real Value?

What is of real value in this life?

That is an important question to answer. And I find that most people tend to look at their own pleasure centers when they consider it. They look at what makes them feel good and answer according to that. And I would have done the same a couple of years ago. It is so easy to fall into the cult of consumerism, happiness, and chasing all of the eternal desires that are never fulfilled. However, all of that will subside, and all of that will end when you die. And the question, what is really of value in this life, will remain unanswered.

What I have found to be of real value is the actions of support that I give to myself to grow and expand as a person and to others – it is the moments of living/expression shared with the life around me – where I take part and express myself in a context with other people/nature/animals. It is communicating and sharing myself deeply with another and learning things about myself that is going to have a positive impact, not only in my life, but in the life of many others. Such actions/moments/expressions, that is of real value. And that cannot be bought or replaced with consumerism. It has to be lived for real – and that usually takes courage/patience/hard work.

Real value implies a meaning that goes beyond this one moment – it implies something more – an action/way of living that creates benefit that stretches out into time and affects reality in a substantial way. For example, taking care of an animal, that is a moment of value. It creates a bond/relationship that goes beyond this moment and it fosters responsibility and care. There are many ways to contribute value in our lives and the opportunities will be there when we open our eyes. It is about looking beyond our own lives and out into the world to see where and how we can contribute with our particular set of skills to make a difference. I read about one person in India that planted a tree every day – and after a while – he had planted an entire forest. That was what he could do to create value. Though it is important to remember that it does not have to be a lot and it does not have to be noticed. What is important is our doing – our expression – and our starting point – our understanding as to why we are doing something – and then if its recognized or not – that is not the point.

I learnt a lot about practical value creation from a man called Bernard (you can read his blog here http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/). He was very good at seeing and creating value in every day activities. Small things were important – like – what kind of food the dogs got or how you cook food or clean the house. Are you present and actively engaging in what you do or are you only moving as a robot to get through the day? Are you actively caring about and creating value in your reality or are you only riding along? For Bernard, everything mattered, and everything had an impact, a consequence. It was a refreshing perspective. Because until that point society had taught me that it is okay to just ride along, as long as you survive, you do not have worry. And society also taught me that no matter what I do, it does not matter, I am replaceable and someone else can do it just fine. However that is not the truth – we are all unique individuals that put our own special fragrance unto everything we touch and participate in – and that is why it is important to be fully here – our expression is needed and gives/creates value.

Instead of using our creative powers to manifest value, we have become subdued into a system of consumerism – and through buying things – we are for a short time able to emulate a feeling of being fulfilled, content and happy. Though what are trying to replace with our consumerism? It is that sense of value that we have lost. We understand that we have become but a part of the machinery with no unique creative drive – and we see that we have suppressed and hidden our expression – and the only way to fill that hole is by buying things. And it is simply not a supportive way to go about life. Children and animals are great examples of what is possible when we access our creative juices. They express themselves with such intensity, passion and depth – and every moment is real to them. It is not merely another moment to get through – it is it. And that is the mental approach we need to have to start taking hold of the opportunities that present themselves to us every day to bring through value into our life and the life’s of others.


Day 387: Creating My Own Value

I have been researching a couple of interesting points lately that has to do with self-value, self-authority and self-leadership. This investigation started because of a series of fear as well as desire reactions that came up in my work. The fears has been centered around some form of failure that would lead to the consequence of not anymore being able to work in the field I have chosen. The desire reactions has been centered on completing some form of formal education that would allow me to add another merit to the list.

I started by applying self-forgiveness on the fears – which opened up the underlying reasons. One of these reasons was the belief/idea that I am not naturally valuable/successful and thus fear is something that I must use to push/will myself forward else I will make a mistake and slip back into my normal mode of being. Another reason was that belief that I need to prove myself to others, especially my parents, and receive compliments, excel their expectations, else I will not have any value. These reasons also showed me why formal education triggers a positive response within me. Formal education is the perfect way to show to others that I am good at something and that I have a particular set of qualifications. It is set up like a scene, where I have to behave in a certain way, to receive approval and if I move outside of the boundaries of the script – I will receive disapproval. Thus the concept of formal education is limited – because it moves me into a direction that has been scripted by someone else – and it is not a development/evolution that is allowed to flow naturally according to where I need to/want to develop/learn/expand.

The similar is true about wanting to achieve success/value in the eyes of others, by for example, career. In order to achieve that success/value I have to follow a scripted path – my own idea/understanding of what I am required to do and where I am required to go in order to increase my success/value in the eyes of others. It might be that I have to acquire a certain type of job or specialization. It might be that I have to work in a particular city or with certain people. The principle is that I must find out or create some belief within me as to what I perceive others look at as success/value and then move myself to achieve that idea. It also also limiting – and I have to follow a scripted path. A path that is not scripted/directed/created by myself and that does not take into consideration what I would like to do – or what I see would support me to expand and grow as an individual – or what I see would allow me to give/share/support others the best way. Rather – the aim and drive is about achieving an idea and picture that I can show up to others to feel successful/valuable.

The issue can be found in how I have defined success/value. At the moment – these words are separate from me. I achieve them by being praised by others. I have no personal connection to these words – and thus – instead of looking at my life through with my own self-designed values – I look at them with values I have copied from others.

The solution is to redefine the words success and value – to make these words intimate and personal.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define success and value separate from myself as something that I need/require to have from someone else – and think that I am not allowed to define my own success/value – that I am not allowed to tell myself when I have success/value – and make my own decisions in life as to what is success and value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strive to have others to define me as successful/valuable – and think that I am not good enough to live success/value – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and desire to achieve success/value – to hope that someone will notice me and give me these experiences – instead of me deciding upon – and living these words for myself – deciding upon what success and value is to me – and then creating these words in my life

Self-commitment statements

I commit myself to redefine and specify success and value to myself – to decide what these words means to me and then live them in my life

I commit myself to create success and value in my life instead of waiting to have someone recognize me as successful and valuable

 


Day 378: Are Our Values Misaligned?

The Soccer World Cup of 2018 gives rise to many questions and it also answers many of them. For example – I now know why we have difficulty creating healthy and sustainable living conditions for everyone on this planet. It is because we do not care. How do I know? I know because we would rather spend several billions of dollars on creating a soccer cup, which is nothing but pure entertainment. There is absolutely no need that justifies arranging a world cup in soccer – it is motivated by our desire. We should not be surprised that this world is a horrible place for many animals and humans. It is that way because we do not have the discipline to commit time, effort and resources to create solutions. We instead devote our resources to entertainment.

The world cup highlights what is problematic about the current human condition. We do not have the ability to use common sense, we do not have the ability to prioritize our resources and our time, we do not have the ability to be empathic and place ourselves in the shoes of another, and we do not have the ability to live by principles. That is what the world cup is showing us, that we would rather prioritize what we desire before that which be of benefit to everyone. Thus – when shit goes sour in our world – there is no point in complaining or wondering why things could not become better, why is there no politician or leader out there that can do something about this? There are none – we have decided that this is how we want things to be. If we would be serious about really fixing problems, we would have devoted the money going into the world cup, to for example, providing effective sanitation for everyone in the world.

Bringing water and sanitation to everyone in the world would cost $10 billion a year according to Richard Jolly, chairman of the Water Supply and Sanitation Collaborative Council, sponsored by the W.H.O. (see article here https://www.nytimes.com/2000/11/23/world/price-of-safe-water-for-all-10-billion-and-the-will-to-provide-it.html). The 2018 FIFA World Cup is estimated to cost $14.2 billion (see article here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economics_of_the_FIFA_World_Cup). Consequently, if we decided to miss out on one FIFA world cup and spend that money on providing water and sanitation – that would make a BIG difference for many. According to W.H.O. Inadequate sanitation is estimated to cause 280 000 diarrhoeal deaths annually and is a major factor in several neglected tropical diseases, including intestinal worms, schistosomiasis, and trachoma. Poor sanitation also contributes to malnutrition (http://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/sanitation).

When put on paper like this, it is obvious that it does not make any sense. No one in their right mind can justify spending 280 000 lives to watch world class soccer for a couple of weeks. Yet still, we do it.

There is no mystery to understanding why the world looks like it does. It is like this because we do not care. There is no mystery in understanding why there is not enough movement to change things. There is no such movement because we do not care. We simply do not care enough about ourselves, our neighbors, our environment, our country or our world – we care about – SOCCER, ALCOHOL, HOBBIES, ENJOYMENT, PLEASURE and ENTERTAINMENT.

It might feel overwhelming to look at the world and see the disarray. It might feel as if there is no point to attempting to do anything about it. However – the point is that someone must begin. Someone must be the first to step up and make the necessary changes. If we wait for the mass to change before we do, then expect that everyone else is waiting for the same thing. The consequence of such a waiting game is that nothing ever happens. Status quo exists because we have been waiting for someone else, a leader, a movement, a organization, an external push and drive – that will not happen. If we want things to change – we must make it happen – firstly – in our individual lives. Where are we spending money on entertainment and pleasure instead of tending to our own and our families basic needs? Where in our lives are we making decisions with money that does not make any sense? When our personal lives have been given direction – we can turn outwards to start dealing with the bigger system and the major flaws that exist there.


Day 341: Hierarchies and Money

Deeply embedded in the human conscious we find some strange ideas about life. One of these is the belief that earning a lot of money equals that we are valuable and important as a person. Money, and having a job, throughout the ages this has been the determining factor as to where in society we will be positioned/valued. If we are poor and have a job of no significance or importance, we will be considered as less valuable, and if the opposite is true, we will be an example for humanity to follow.

This brainwashing that we accepted and allowed has some pretty serious consequences. First off, we have a far to lenient approach to with regards to respect for property, and the right for each one of us to pursue our happiness. The fact is that we have a many that are too rich, and that horde, causing widespread poverty, because their money had to come from somewhere. And we cannot blame these rich, apparently successful people, because we have created them, and secretly, we all hope for the same thing, to hit the jackpot and that we will make some serious money. That is why we continue placing our respect in money, instead of respecting ourselves, and determining our value on the basis of how we live.

The interesting thing is that we have created a completely dysfunctional society, mostly because we are too busy creating our own lives, protecting and building our lives and utilizing money to do that, while not caring sufficiently about each-other – and instead of coming together to build a flowing society where all are cared for, we create enormous structures of control. Though the solution is not control, the solution is not more work, more education, the solution is that we as humanity come together, and look beyond our own personal interests – and see what we are able to create that is best for all.

This pattern of only looking at ourselves, it recurs again and again. A while ago I read an interesting article about coral bleaching. In the article it was discussed how massive coral bleaching had now reached the great barrier reef, and for those that do not know, coral bleaching is bad stuff for corals. What was interesting to note was that the Australian authorities had been aware of coral bleaching since the eighties, though because it had not reached the great barrier reef, no one had really taken note of the danger. Instead the Australian authorities had seen coral bleaching as someone else’s problem, simply because it was not there at the moment. And then, a couple of years later it happened, and now it was too late. And during all this time, the solution had been known, to decrease emissions of fossil fuels on a global level.

The insight here is that in a world that is connected in a multitude of ways, there is no such thing as someone else’s problem. When we have issues with the usage of fossil fuels creating inconsistent weather patterns, then we cannot think that only because those weather patterns are not yet threatening the piece of land we live on, that it is okay to continue a practice that is clearly creating consequences. Because any consequence in this world will directly or indirectly impact us. And this is one of the great things about globalization; we are now able to see with a lot more clarity how our actions ripple throughout the world – and how in a global economy – it is not possible to protect one’s own country from global instability.

Another striking example of we how we tend to only care for and consider ourselves is the refugee situation. Particularly in Sweden this is an interesting topic to explore. Because it is public knowledge that number one reason for people becoming displaced is war. And interestingly enough, Sweden has a big and prosperous arms industry, and it is ranked the third largest arms exporter per capita after Israel and Russia. In Sweden we have a lot of refugees and it has become a big problem. Thus we are now starting to see the consequences of our arms industry, as the victims of war is trying to create a safe life for themselves – and this consequence is now not only out there in some foreign country – no – it is right here at our porch.

Back to the issue of people being rich and poor. What I want to point out here is that when we accept and allow this extreme separation in society, between those that have made it, and those that have not, we are creating consequences, not only for those that are poor, but also for those that are rich. Poverty is a breeding ground for crime, diseases, lack of education, drug abuse, etc. If we want to have a life and society that is efficient and works for everyone, without unnecessary consequences, the acceptance of the rich and poor must be erased, and replaced with a motivation to care for all equally. It is not possible to control consequences, they will slip through the cracks, as is the case with the refugees. Consequences must be prevented at their roots, the original issue must be directed, else we will end up going in circles.

And why do we still hold unto this archaic and dysfunctional model of society? Why have we not changed? Because we do, secretly or overtly, want to hold unto to our current societal set-up, where we have a chance of becoming successful, earning a lot of money, and apparently becoming someone that is important. We still want to win and be rewarded for it. However, it is possible to compete and become successful even though such expressions and processes are not linked to property, money, and wealth. Optimally, competition and success should be used as bait, and motivation, for us to become better as people – so that we are able to realize our full potential in this life and share that with others.

The solution I see is the follow: We stop seeing money as the determining factor for value and worth, and instead make sure that money is a tool, something we utilize to practically create our lives, but where it is has no deeper importance or meaning – it is just money. And also to stop our fears when it comes to money, to as such make sure that we stop accepting and allowing ourselves to horde money, saving it ‘for a rainy day’ or to have ‘more money’. We have to earth our relationship with money and make it PRACTICAL.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value money more than people – and believe that it is money that makes the man

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to justify and hold unto the idea that a rich person is better than a poor person – and strive to achieve wealth so that I can feel better than others – not seeing, realizing and understanding that money is simply a practical point – something that we require to survive – however not something that defines our character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hold unto a society where we are allowed to pursue our happiness regardless of the consequences it creates in the lives of others – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, how I am in-fact, creating unconsciously, a system that is not best for all, a system of hierarchies, because I want to feel like a winner, and for winner to exist we must also have losers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can become better buy having more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am winning buy having more money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better than others when I have more money than them – or a better education

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more important than others because I have a education that could potentially allow me to earn a lot of money – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to this belief that money makes the man – and that it is through getting more money that I can prove myself in this world system – and show that I am of equal value in comparison with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others when it comes to money and earning potential – and feel inferior to those that earn more than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others when it comes to money and earning potential – and feel superior to those that earn less than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of valuing people and things according to their monetary value – instead of seeing all that is here as equals – all made of the same matter and coming from the same source

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a inner system of evaluation where money is the most important factor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want to have a system of competition where the participants is evaluated according to money – so that I have chance of winning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I am creating long-term consequences by accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how my inner relationship with money, is connected to what is happening in the world system – and is connected to how points are currently functioning and operating on a bigger scale – where there is a huge competition in relation to money – and no common sense – where it is seen as justified and okay for one person to own as much money as an entire country – and where poverty, malnutrition, and all other consequences of not having money is then apparently okay

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an inner money system where it is seen as justified and acceptable to have a system of competition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify competition within me as good – because apparently it brings out the best in people – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it in-fact does not bring out the best in people – but rather brings out the most shit in people – where we will do anything and everything to survive and win – and those any integrity and self-respect will go out the window

Self-commitment statements

When and as I become possessed with positive, or negative feelings in relation to money, where I compare myself to others, and see myself as either superior, or inferior, depending on whether I have more or less money than them, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand how this way of viewing and defining myself limits me, and that it creates consequences on a global level, because I am part in, and participating in a system of competition, where one of the consequences is poverty, thus I commit myself to stop – and to value me and others according to what we do to bring through a world that is best for all – according to our purpose and reason for existing in this world – as to what we give to this world as a whole

I commit myself to develop value as myself through giving to this world – living a life of purpose where I am giving of myself to create a better reality and world for everyone – and where I am thus practically living the word value – and not only relating value to an attempt to acquire and earn more money to feel better than others


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 340: Acceptance

Acceptance, generally speaking parents tend to teach children that this is something to be found externally. And sure, in some aspect they are correct, in the sense that our environment can either accept or reject us. The question however, is whether this form of acceptance that we try to win from people is real. What do I mean by real? With real, I mean that this acceptance is substantial, trustworthy, consistent, that it is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Obviously, it is clear that the acceptance we gain from people in our external environment is very much conditional, unpredictable and shallow. Not something that we should base our life upon at all.

Acceptance in society is based upon keeping in line with and following certain norms and rules, written and unwritten, and when we do that, we will usually be accepted. However, acceptance is unpredictable, because norms change, an action, even though performed with the intention of being in line with the norms, can be perceived by others differently. Hence, defining self-acceptance in relation to others is a bad idea. If we accept and allow our acceptance of ourselves to be defined by something that is separate from ourselves, we will always be a slave to that point. The solution is unconditional self-acceptance.

Now, an interesting point to look deeper into is WHY we do not accept ourselves, but rather pursue an acceptance out there. What I have found for myself is that this issue is caused by a lack of self-value. I have as such not seen myself as being valuable and worthy enough to accept myself, and that hence, to get a sufficient amount of acceptance, I must be accepted out there as well. This is interesting, because this experience indicates that I perceive others to be more valuable, that obviously begs the question WHY? How come I do not see myself as having an equal value to others? How come I believe that the best possible road ahead would be to follow and do what everyone else is doing? Where does this pattern come from?

If we go back and look at our childhood, a common theme is that we as children are not seen as good enough to make our own decisions. Parents constantly meddles with our lives and independence, and very few children are ever allowed to explore this world by their own volition. This creates a conflict within us as young, because in-fact, as children, even though we might look and think differently, we are still very much clear and aware of ourselves and our life. We know what we want, what is good for us, what is bad for us, and who we are. However, that awareness is mostly disregarded and shunned by the adult world, simply because we are children. For me, I can see that this experience, and conflict, of continuously being told to shut up and listen to those that ‘know’ has stuck with me into adult life, and now, it is a more general experience of not valuing myself, and hence, not seeing myself as having the authority to accept myself.

What is the solution to this problem?

Accepting myself is a decision that I can make, and I clearly see that I have the value and authority to make that decision. And in-fact, that authority comes by virtue of being alive, aware, and able to create. I can make a decision as to what words that I am going to live, and there is no valid reason as to why I should not accept myself.

How can acceptance then be lived practically?

An inspiration for me when it comes to living acceptance practically is animals. They are unconditional, and regardless of what they are going, they never look to anyone else for acceptance. Animals do not have peers that they become influenced by, they stand alone, within their own expression, and stick with that, seeing the world without distractions, seeing it purely from within themselves.

Thus, for myself, I see that I can apply acceptance through not comparing myself with others, and stopping that process of thinking, where I look at myself, and something I have done, through how I believe that I look in the eyes of others. Instead of comparing myself, and placing my focus on others, I will push myself to bring my attention back HERE – and ask myself – WHO AM I within all of this? HOW DO I want to experience myself within all of this?

And another point that is also important and that I must remind myself of – is that acceptance is a decision. Self-acceptance is not something that will simply come one day, it is a decision made here, a word that is lived and applied HERE, a process of creation walked in the moment – and thus it is completely up to me whether I enable myself to live self-acceptance or not.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not valuable enough to decide that I will accept myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not know how to accept myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot accept myself because acceptance must come from the outside

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-acceptance does not exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nice to others and be compliant to be accepted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to comply, yield and give in, and change myself, so that I will be accepted by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to comply, yield, and give in, and change myself, so that I will be accepted and liked by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself, and immediately try to please others without looking within, as to whether it is something I want to do, or that I am able to do, because I fear not being accepted by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making mistakes, and judge myself for making mistakes, because I believe others judge me, and others do not accept me anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear disappointing or vexing another by not agreeing with them, or by showing them that I have done what they expected of me to do, and thus lie in order to make sure that I am still accepted by them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define acceptance as more than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that acceptance is something that must be given to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-acceptance is something that will come by me being liked by others and accepted in my environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-acceptance is something that I must gain by being nice and having many friends and a stable life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-acceptance is something that I get through my job

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-acceptance is something that I get through having money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a mental and emotional melt-down the moment when I believe/think that people are against me – that they are seeing me as a burden and as someone that compromise their physical living

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself searching for self-acceptance in my external reality, I take a breath, I stop myself and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that self-acceptance is something that I must create here by myself – and that I cannot ever get this through acquiring the liking of others – thus I commit myself to trust myself – to actively develop self-acceptance through stopping judgment and practicing understanding myself and finding solutions to problems

I commit myself to find solutions that problems and issues that I face – to not judge myself – but instead look at what I can do to change the problem and to find a way forward where I learn and expand and take something with me


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 309: Learning Cooperation

Since childhood I have experienced a resistance towards helping others when they ask, especially if I am at that moment doing something that I enjoy. For example, I might be sitting down writing, or playing guitar, and then someone comes into my room and asks me if I am able to run an errand for them. I will experience resistance in that moment; and usually what happens is that I will tell the person ‘not now!’ – and then continue doing what I am doing.

This way of approaching favors, and services has its roots in my childhood. When I was young I had many experiences where I would sit in my room, back then, primarily playing video games, and my parents would come storming in, often irritated, and demand of me that I do some form of chore in the house – and if I did not do it immediately they would threaten to turn off my computer, and sequester it until I do. These events were traumatic for me, because I would in one moment be sitting with and enjoying myself, then in the next moment everything would change and instead I would be demanded to do something I did not particularly want to do – NOW; and this created an experience within me of feeling invaded.

Now, I am soon thirty years old, and still I experience this feeling of being invaded the moment someone enters into my life and, while I am busy with other stuff, asks me to do something. And another interesting thing is that I will most of the times believe that they want me to do something NOW, while they sometimes do not have a specific time in mind.

I have realized that this pattern and experience of feeling invaded each time someone asks me to do something for him or her must now be directed. It influences me not only at home, but also at my work, where I will feel slightly aggravated and annoyed with each assignment or task that is added to my plate. It is common sense that we all have to do things we do not necessarily like, and that we had not initially planned on doing. Things can come up, and tasks might be proving to be too big for one individual to deal with by himself or herself. There are a myriad of reasons as to why someone would need my help; and it is not an invasion that is happening – it is simply someone asking me to do something for them.

I do not loose myself by for a moment, stopping what I am doing, and then moving myself to do something else, which I might not necessarily want to do, but that I see is important and relevant. I can always get back to what I was doing later on, and if I do have a tight schedule and I am sitting with something that I must get done now, I can communicate this, and then make a plan to help out later on. For communities to effectively work we MUST help each other, I have skills that others does not have, and they have skills I do not have, some are strong, some are intelligent, some are fast, others not, and when we share our skills and time with one another, we create added value for each other. If we only tend to our own interests, projects, and desires, the consequence is that we will limit ourselves. Cooperation is one of those awesome expressions that will add value to everyone involved. Together we can do more than we are able to do alone.

Another aspect of this is that many times what is asked of me, it does not only concern the other person but also me. For example, cleaning the house, this is something that will support me as well. Feeding the cats and making sure that they have sufficient with food and water, this is something that must be done, and it does not matter who does it. Feeling invaded and attacked clouds me from seeing the positive effects that can come out of taking the action asked of me, and how it can influence my world positively as well.

I can conclude that helping each other out is really important, being able to work together is important, and that cannot happen if one of the parties feels invaded every time a favor is asked. However, this does not mean that I should do EVERYTHING asked of me – it is important to make sure that I do have the practical space and time required to deal with my own responsibilities as well. It is not worth it to compromise my own commitments; a solution here would instead be to, as I shared earlier, make a plan and schedule a time for helping later on when this do not compromise my other responsibilities.

Solution

What are then the solutions? I have already touched on them: It would be to stop this experience of feeling invaded the moment it comes up – simply STOP – then to instead listen to what is asked of me, and unconditionally assess whether I am able to, or not, at this time, assist and support. And if I am able to, I have the time, to simply get up and move myself to help, remembering that I will be able to return to what I was doing later on – and that I am adding value to my life and the life of another. If I however do not have the time, then I can schedule one, and also explain to the person why I cannot help them at this moment.

Day 105: What is Real Value?

Today I got a call wherein I was invited to a job-interview at a particularly renowned employer. As I received this call I reacted in nervousness and fear, and I could see how I was beginning to project fears as well as hopes in regards to what might happen in the future in terms of my career.

What I am able to see in the nature of the thoughts is that I am placing value outside of myself, and I evaluate myself according to status and position in the system, wherein apparently if I attain a good job, I am good, and if I attain a bad job, I am bad – and this point I’ve walked through in subsequent blogs but in relation to my exams – though the same principle applies here.

I would say that this is one of my primary programs, the desire to become something for someone out there, the desire to get recognition, be seen, and be noticed – and through my life this has taken on many shapes and forms but the primary origin point has remained the same – that I want to become something, and prove myself.

I’ve recently read a fascinating book, discussing the psychology of human beings, and in particular how to be liked by others – now it’s interesting that one of the points that are pushed is that, in order to be liked by others, you have to give them recognition, you must show them that they are important – fascinating isn’t it? I mean, is it so that we’re all walking around in this life, attempting and trying to be approved by those around us? Attempting and trying to gain some form of response from those around us, and believing that when we achieve this positive response, we apparently gain value?

Another interesting point mentioned in this book was how people build their self-esteem according to their status in the system, and as such it’s much easier to be accident harm the ego of a low wage menial worker, than for example of big shot CEO – because the big shot CEO has got higher thoughts of himself and aren’t as easily wounded. So, this would then imply that our self-esteem is built up in relationship to how much money we’re making – I mean, isn’t this as well absolutely fascinating? That we build the character of ourselves based on how much money, and what type of position we’re able to achieve in this world, and then basing our entire expression, and movement of ourselves on this idea?

Obviously this limited to the utmost extent, and often it’s men that tend to limit themselves through defining themselves in relation to their career, and their choice of profession, shown by the fact that there are so many men becoming depressed, and taking their lives, when they do not have a job and no access to money through a salary.

Thus, what I see I must do is to push this point of standing in the system but not being of the system – getting a effective job in the system but not defining myself according to the job – making sure I have a stable access to money but not defining myself in relationship to the money – thus walking in this world but not being of this world; it’s really such simple common sense yet still hard to put in practical application due to the severe brainwashing I’ve gone through in my life.

Also, it’s interesting to see, that when this type of self-definition exists, fear comes as a consequence, because now one fear to loose one’s self-definition, fear to loose that job because who would one be without it? To be really effective in this world, it’s required that this limitation is released – so that one can make practical effective decisions here without going into any form of fear and anxiety – being HERE and remaining practical – NOT walking through the mind and being at all times lost and possessed in various preoccupying fear experiences – because fear SUCKS – literally.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I get a job at a renowned company, I will increase in worth, and become more than what I’ve been before – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the job I have, or the job I am about to get – and to believe that the amount of money I make defines who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not release myself from, and remove any and all emotional attachments that I have towards money, towards employment, towards position, and status in this system, and to see, realize and understand that only in unconditionally letting go of this point, and allowing myself to become stable in all contexts and in all situations, with not a single movement within me, wherein I am able to have any job, and have any form of money without a reaction, I will be able to be effective and directive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that regardless of what job I have – they are all in their very origin the same – I mean, all jobs consists of doing something with one’s human physical body, and within that all jobs are equal; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and evaluate jobs as having different value, and to define myself according to the value of these jobs – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and experience anxiety in relation to having a low-value job – believing that this will define me, and that unless I am able to achieve a so called high value job, then my life will have a low value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a slave to attempting and trying prove myself to others, attempting and trying to gain and achieve some sort of response and recognition from others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself, hold myself back, and make myself inferior in my mind, believing that I need to walk around in this world constantly looking for ways that I am able to impress others, believing that this is how I gain and achieve a value – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand as self-value – to not stand as self-love – to not stand as self-appreciation – self-enjoyment – and to see, realize and understand that I do not require to play this game of looking for recognition but that I am able to live practically, physically and be in this world but not of this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider and define myself as requiring to achieve some sort of recognition with others, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dedicate my life towards trying and attempting to be loved by others, seen by others, valued by others, appreciated by others – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop this search for recognition and instead ask myself – who am I here? What is that I want? How is that I want it? What is practical? What isn’t practical? And within that focus on this point of pushing and establishing an effective physical living for others and myself in this world that isn’t driven by a desire to be accepted by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive and believe that I need and require acceptance from others, that I need and require recognition from others, that I need and require to be accepted and acknowledged by others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how it is that I am through holding unto this idea limiting myself – and that really I do not require such a point from others – I do not require to become something, to be acknowledged as something, to be regarded as something, to have others feel about me in some way – it’s not a practical physical dependency it’s simply a mind-job – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stabilize myself here within and as breath – and walk my life from a starting point of practicality – as walking in this world but not being of this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, perceive and believe that the only way I am able to build a life for myself in this world is through having others recognize and value me, is through having others see me, be impressed with me, and acknowledge me – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally let go of this limitation, to realize that physically I need to have a home, I need to eat, I need to drink water, I need shit – and I mean – those points are physical needs – but I do not in-fact require recognition, I do not in-fact require and need someone telling me how good I am, how effective I am, how strong I am, how important I am – that is nonsense of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as nonsense of the mind instead of pushing myself to remain stable, physical and effective here in every moment of breath – and realize that this is real worth, this is real value, this is real and substantial – it has an actual importance to me on a physical level – because when I accept and allow myself to remain stable here – all of my life become so much simple, so much more clear, and so much more effective on all levels; as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and see that what is of actual value and worth is what is physical, and is what I develop physically here as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss the point of what is actual value, and to believe that value is to be noticed by another, that value is to be respected by another, that value is to be acknowledged by another, that value is to be heard by another, instead of realizing that this is not real value – this is merely experiences, merely energy and not an actual physical substance that I can touch – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that value is energy instead of realizing that energy is not really value at all – but what is of value is me living physically effective here in every moment of breath

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I make a decision, or react, in relation to wanting others to see me as important, valuable, and give me recognition, and have me be seen by others, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that is not real value – this is not a real point – it’s merely an experience and that I want to base my life on a experience; as such I commit myself to realize that real value is here in every moment – as I make a decision to be here with myself – to remain stable and directive and not go flying of into my mind reality

When, and as I see that I am going into and as a experience of wanting to achieve and be successful in order to make others notice me, and value me, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I am within doing this, limiting myself extensively, holding myself back, and making myself a victim to energy, or rather, making myself give up my life in favor of energy; as such I commit myself to take a breath, bring myself back here – and instead of valuing and giving attention to energy – give myself as the physical attention and value – realizing that the physical represents real and actual value

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