Tag Archives: wait

Day 231: The Art of Doing It

“If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”

Bruce Lee

Sometimes there points open up that are obvious, and in my case, it was a movement that arose from within, coming through as a projection – where the projections was a picture of me following through on a project which entails me getting myself out into the system – out into the world – taking action – meeting people – speaking and interacting.

Just-Do-It-NowThe fascinating thing is that I didn’t take that projection into physical manifestation, it remained on a level of thought, a potential, a maybe – and even though I could experience and see – that this was something I wanted to do and that would allow me to grow and expand – I didn’t take it to the point of actual movement – and this is what I want to discuss in this blog today – identifying and forgiving this blockage that hinders me from movement.

In my case I can see this blockage quite clearly – and it’s called fear – and it’s not any fear – it’s fear of failure. This fear of failure leads me to get stuck in the stage of preparation – because one thing is a given – when I continually prepare and never go out there and give the show – I’m certain to never EVER fail. Though I’m also as certain to never do anything challenging and difficult with my life either – thus remaining in the stage of preparation is thus a recipe for mediocrity – and it’s also a form of complacency = complacency being the state where I’m fine and okay with the way things are – even though there is no movement/expansion/growth happening.

Thus – what I can see is that preparation is to a certain extent supportive – though at some point preparation – and getting ready for the future becomes a cave where we hide from stepping out into the unpredictable – and unfortunately that is what my preparation have become – a point of hiding.

Though – the cool thing about seeing this is that I can now begin taking steps to actually create my future and my life instead of preparing for it – so this is what I am now actively going to do – beginning with the small – which entails to see where I’ve postponed certain actions and points of direction – because I’ve been preparing into infinity – and easy as pancake making the decision to step out of preparation-mode – and put myself out there.

The worst thing that can happen is that I fail – and that is a much more enjoyable outcome than complacency and doing nothing at all.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become stuck in a state of complacency and preparation – where I see what it is that I’d like to do and express – yet instead of taking that point here – and living it in my everyday life – I project outside of myself into a future that I must prepare for – which is a form of self-sabotage and hiding – because obviously I will never get out there and actually do something unless I step into my physical body and move out to get out there and do things – act – live – speak and share myself – and get points moving

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure – and in fear of failure hide myself in a state of non-doing – believing that through non-doing I can contain and save myself from the adversities of failure – and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’m in-fact limiting and containing myself into a state of diminishing – because I’m not accepting and allowing myself to actively put myself out there – to actively go where I haven’t gone before – to actively expand myself – and move myself out of my comfort-zones – because I see, realize and understand that it’s in my challenging and moving myself through my comfort-zones that I will expand – grow – and become a more potent and effective human being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contain myself in preparation-mode – trying to save myself from the embarrassment and fear that could come into my body if I failed and didn’t manage to fulfill my ideals of success that I’ve created in my mind – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from self-creation – to hide from my potential and what I see myself doing in this world – through preparing – not realizing that in order to get good at something – and order to establishing myself within a certain field and learn new skills – I require to put myself out there and fail several times – and from this perspective failure is the road to greatness – because only through failing can I see what isn’t failure – and thus move myself to create that path for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to create myself and my life – and build myself – and do what it is that I want to do in this life – I require to take a chance and possibly – and that without accepting and allowing myself to take the risk of failure – there won’t be any movement – there won’t be any expansion and growth – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actively put myself out there – and create opportunities for challenging myself – growing – and expanding myself – and becoming more potent and established in my physical process as I take action to put myself out there into the world system and create a life for myself that I want to live and be a part of

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that at some stage the time of preparation is done – and then I require to move myself out into the system and actually practice physically what I’ve walked in a protected environment of preparation – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not enjoy this process of moving myself out into the world system – of taking action – of creating and building myself – and seeing, realizing and understanding – that as with everything – it all begins with one step forward – one step followed by the other – and thus what will initially feel hard, difficult and challenging – will with time become easy and effortless – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to get out into the world system from within and as this understanding that it might feel difficult and hard now – though through me doing it again and again – I will become better at it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself through not taking action on the projections coming up in my mind – that I see are these potentials for self-creation that come up as a nudge within me – to go in that direction – to push that particular point – to walk that aspect of my life into creation – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress these nudges/experiences that come up within me – and instead of taking them into practical application – immediately go into and as a state of self-suppression and holding myself back – and containing myself through utilizing the thought that I must prepare myself more before I take the step out into the unknown

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s a lot of fun to take the step out into the unknown – and to do things that I’ve not yet done before – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it’s through putting myself out there and doing what I’ve not done before – that I grow – expand – and develop myself – that it’s through this process that I can become more – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this suppression is in-fact made out of fear – and that it’s a fear I use to protect my mind and my comfort zones to be exactly as they’ve always been – so that I don’t have to change and alter my ways – but that I can instead remain the same

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that in order to step out of character – I require to do things differently – I require to walk down the path that I’ve haven’t tried – and do the things that I’ve not yet attempted – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live from this starting point of actively challenging myself – actively expanding myself – actively seeing how I can connect and network with others to put myself out there – and open up myself and my life to become more challenging and demanding – and realize that a life that is easy – is not a life that allows for self-expansion – because to expand there must be things to move and direct – learn and understand – there must be a growth where I move beyond what I thought myself to be

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that there is a particular aspect, or dimension, or point in my life that I’d like to pursue, and experience, and walk – and this comes up as a projection or slight movement within me – I commit myself to take that point up in me and honor it through moving myself into action – and not accepting and allowing myself to step back – and hold myself back in a point of suppression and fear – and thus I commit myself to nourish these small seeds of self-expansion that arise from within and take them into practical application – to as such expand myself, my life and my considerations – and go beyond what I think myself to be

When and as I see that I am going into a state of being comfortable with my life, being at ease, and having the feeling that I know everything to the tee, and there is no more challenges, I stop myself – I take breath and bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this experience indicates that I’m not pushing myself to get out there – that I am not creating opportunities for myself in my daily life – and not willing myself to expand my sphere of influence – and expand my skillsets and develop myself – and thus I commit myself to challenge myself to walk my life in such a way – that I continuously challenge myself – and move beyond what I thought I was capable of doing – continuously challenging myself to expand and grow – and become more effective – and realizing that this is the only way to live that is truly enjoyable and satisfactory

I commit myself to challenge myself – to move myself beyond my limitations – and I commit myself to make it a daily thing to not stop at what I perceive myself as being capable of – but realize that I can do more – that I can be more – and that it’s me that set the boundaries of my capabilities

Day 212: Self-Creation

Today I had a fascinating point open up in relation to the point of self-creation – and taking my life by the horns and designing it – instead of waiting for things to calm in the palm of my hand.

So, the context was the following: I’ve decided to move back to the town where I grew and settle in with my mother on our family farm – today I had a thought come up in regards to this prospect that contained this moaning – drop – experience. The essence of the thought was: “What if it’s boring to live there?” – and the energy experience that accompanied the thought was a sense of dullness and weariness.

What I could see was that this point is in-fact a form of self-sabotage – because what I do in participating with this thought and emotion – is that I blame my environment for not being as stimulating and satisfying as I want it to be – and I thus expect my environment to create me – I expect my surroundings to facilitate and develop me. And this is obviously limiting – because here I will forever search for some perfect environment that will fulfill my ideas – and I won’t push myself to actually create that point of interest – to ask myself – what gifts DOES my world hold? What is it here that I can learn? That is just here before my eyes, and that I can take with me?

For example with my mother, and living on the farm, there are tons of things I’m able to learn – I can learn more about animals, more about handcrafting, and being practical, dealing with more physical labor, I can learn cooking, baking – and I can do more outdoor things living so close to nature. Do when I approached the point from the starting point of a emotion – this dullness and weariness – I couldn’t see those gifts – see the cool points and opportunities of self-creation that was right before me all along.

Thus – a correction that I am now going to apply – is that when I notice I judge my environment or surroundings for apparently not facilitating my self-creation and life – I stop – and I ask myself instead – what are the gifts here? What can I CREATE with what is here? What are the potentials, the opportunities, the prospects that I can expand and move? So, instead of seeing my world in the color of emotion – stopping myself – and looking at what is the gifts? What are the potential of creation?

And this I would say is the core of what it means to create yourself – it means to take active responsibility – to work with what is HERE and to CREATE with what is here – to stop hoping that the future will bring anything, stop hoping that my environment will move points into my world, stop hoping that my life will come to me – and instead actively CREATE and BUILD it – that is real self-empowerment – and that is real JOY – to live as a creator – and create life in real time.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge living with my mother, and living on a farm as being dull, mundane and wearisome – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this aspect and part of life – instead of seeing what potential there are for self-creation – what potential there is for life to be birthed – what I can do to enrich my life and the lives of others HERE – looking at what I can push – how I can move and direct myself to create added value – instead of expecting it to turn up on my door step

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother, and the farm for causing this experience in me of dullness and weariness – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this blame is locking me into a state of not seeing that I am the creator – and that when I accept myself and my general self-experience as being dull and weary – then that is what I am going to create – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not move myself out of this experience – and push myself to create my life – to enhance my life – to create added value – to see the potentials and the gifts that are here – and thus not anymore remain in a state of blame

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take charge of my life and my future – through asking myself how I’m able to substantiate and build my life HERE – and thus not anymore look at my environment or my future to bring me this state of fulfillment and added value – but realize that I must stand as that point – and that I’m able to align myself with this point regardless of where I am – that it’s not a matter of where I’m but how I approach things – how I see things – and that I can actually train and practice myself to see the gifts and the potentials of a environment or relationship – and then push myself to create these potentials

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this experience that comes up within me – that something is limited, or that something is too small, and insignificant, and doesn’t offer me enough challenges, or moments of expansion – to not see how this is self-sabotage – because in-fact I’m responsible for my own growth – for creating my life to be expansive – to be enjoyable – to be fascinating – to be creative and to walk the potentials that open up in my life and in my world into creation – and into actual fulfillment and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself – through holding unto this belief that apparently my world should change and offer me that point of creation – not realizing that I must actively stand as – and will myself to ask – what is the potential here? What can I create here? What can I build, form and shape here? And how can I add value to my own life and the lives of others?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my life to open up, to wait for opportunities to unfold, to wait for a process of creation to begin, to wait for life, instead of me actively willing, and creating my life – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how my life can become so much more – when I accept and allow myself to see the opportunities and the gifts that are here – and what I can create, pursue, and build with my life here – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not open up my eyes and see that gifts that are right in-front of me – and embrace these gifts – walk them and create them into the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I’m able to give myself some very cool points of direction in my life that will assist and support not only me – but also others in my life – and that thus – I don’t require to wait for things to unfold – but I can instead take direction and push for points to come into creation – to design my own life manifesto of who I am – and where I am going – in the personal – interpersonal and existential level of creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the decision I’ve made to go to the farm – to embrace this decision and walk with the point unconditionally – to not attempt and try anymore to fight it – but rather walk with it – and make it mine – and make it mine through actively looking for gifts and potentials that I can create and manifest through this adventure – to look where I’m able to learn – where I’m able to contribute – where there are gifts that I can develop and expand upon – and thus instead of wanting and wishing to be somewhere else – make the absolute most of what is here in my life in this very moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that my process of creation must take place HERE – that my process of building and shaping myself in my life must be walked HERE – that I can’t wait for life – I can’t hope that life will unfold – I must create it – I must will into the physical and thus stand as the point – as the searchlight – that constantly looks for new ways – new paths – where I can expand – where I can move – where I can direct myself to add value – to enhance and to gift life to myself as well as others

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a state of blaming my environment, and thinking that my environment is responsible for causing me to feel limited, and less expansive, and as having less opportunities to build a life for myself – I stop – I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that the real potential of creation and the real potential of creating a life for myself exists HERE – within and as my human physical body – within and as my physical world that is HERE with me in this moment – HERE are the potentials for self-creation – they are not out there somewhere in the future – they are here in my world – and it’s thus my responsibility to see them – to find the gifts – and then to walk the gifts into creation; and thus I commit myself to when this experience of blame and a thought of dropping – and standing back comes up within me – to then say NO – and look at what are the gifts, what are the potentials, what am I able to create for myself in this life, in this moment, where I am at right now? And thus walk the process of taking these gifts into creation

Day 127: Devolution and the Solution

A fascinating aspect of the so-called evolution of humanity is that we’ve actually become more and more dependent upon technology, more and more dependent upon money, and less and less self-reliable. We’ve defined this as human greatness – because apparently we’re now able to spend our time on ‘more important things’ rather than growing our food, and managing livestock.

Though, if we take a closer look on this phenomena, we’re able to see that we have digressed, and the state of the average human being is really that of a slave, both mentally, and physically, we’ve enslaved ourselves into a relationship of servitude and dependency – we don’t know anymore how food is grown, we don’t know anymore how sicknesses can be treated organically – and overall as our lifestyle have become more comfortable and easy – we as beings have become less physical and more mental – to the extent where we nowadays see very few children playing outside. This was unthinkable only 30 years ago, and I myself as a child played a lot in the woods, and playing various sports with my friends – this form of interaction with the physical doesn’t anymore exist.

So, we say that we have evolved, but the truth is that we haven’t – and regardless of the fact that some people, in some countries have a comfortable life, there is massive poverty and suffering existing all over the world – which proves that we haven’t even been able to evolve our political and economical system, even though we undoubtedly have had more time to think about things – as we’ve not been forced to work as much.

The question we should ask ourselves is why have we digressed? Why have we devolved? Why have not been able to by each generation improve ourselves, our genetics and overall education and understanding of this world? What is the reason for our fall?

There are obviously many aspects to this point – but one of the more prevalent points that I have found, as to why we don’t improve, I have seen through looking at myself, and my life – and what I have come to understand is that one of the most limiting and debilitating points that exists – is that tendency of blinding myself – which in essence mean that I make excuses for myself and the way I exist – I justify why I exist the way I exist, and leave it without taking any further action – and now – this is a absolutely fascinating behavior.

I mean, let’s look at this from a common sense perspective, how come I do not allow myself to change immediately when I see a point that requires change? Why is it that I do not without hesitation go to a solution? Because it’s easy to see, that immediately going to the solution, would be easier for me – I would actually correct a limiting point within me, it would be done, and then I wouldn’t anymore have to cycle that point again and again – yet still – I don’t – Why?

The only reason I have been able to see as to why I don’t change, and why I rather make excuses than immediately going to the solution, is because it takes effort to change, it takes effort to challenge one’s accepted and habitual ways – though looking at it in common sense – it’s obvious that in not changing the point – I am actually create such much arduous pain that it would obviously be less of an effort to change myself immediately – instead of having to go through the entire process of consequence, pain and suffering.

Thus, we should really ask ourselves when we see a point within ourselves that we don’t change, do not investigate, reflect upon, or recognize, but instead swiftly shove away with the use of some excuse – why is it that I accept and allow this behavior from myself, and HOW can I change it? How can I make sure that I do not continue this tendency of accepting and allowing – but that I instead stand up within myself – and start questioning what is going on?

What I have found through my process of change, is that one cool application of allowing myself to see myself, and recognize what is going on within me, is through writing, and applying self-forgiveness – because when I do this – before me on paper – undoubtedly is the real existence of me – and that makes it much more difficult to make up an excuse and just shove it all away.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from myself, and hide from self-change, and self-direction, through existing within and as my mind, and not accepting and allowing myself to dedicate myself to write, and apply self-forgiveness, because I know that in writing, and applying self-forgiveness, I will in-fact place myself in a position of seeing myself, and give myself and opportunity to change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution for self-change is that I stop making excuses for how I exist within and as myself, and instead immediately go to the solution, defining and specifying the problem, so that I will be able to make a concrete, and practical change within myself, that is specific

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when I keep things in my mind, and I do not write them out, I tend to generalize my issues, and problems, and in that my solutions will be ineffective, and I will only remain with a problem, and a issue, instead of immediately giving myself to opportunity to sit down and specify the problem, so that I see specifically what I am facing, what thoughts, what excuses, what emotions, and what feelings, so that I am immediately able to direct myself and change myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses for how I exist, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse making excuses with a solution, thinking, believing and perceiving that when I make an excuses, that when I make some sort of justification in regards to what I experience, and in that shove the problem away, that I have then apparently solved the problem, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I haven’t in-fact solved the problem, I have merely shoved the problem away, I have merely made myself unaware of the problem

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the excuse that it’s to hard to change myself, or that I have participated too much in a particular point, and because of that the point is too much integrated, and I can’t move, or direct it effectively – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that obvious common sense that – I created the point – thus I am able to change the point – and this is the fact with everything I experience – I created it – either directly or implicitly – and thus I am responsible for re-directing the point into and as a solution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the simple common sense, that when and as I accept and allow myself to become obsessed within and as excuses, which is me saying to myself, that I am not able to change, and that it’s completely reasonable, and correct that I am not able to change, then I am limiting myself, and placing myself in waiting mode, wherein I wait for myself to come and change myself – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop waiting – and instead immediately strive to the rescue of myself – and change myself without hesitation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize the excuse as to why I am not changing myself, thinking that, the thoughts are too automatic, they just come up within me, and apparently this then makes it impossible for me to change, and direct myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the thoughts automatic, and that it’s in-fact not something that I am unable to change – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to change, and direct myself into and as a solution – and walk the point of immediately finding a solution to the point of the thoughts being automatic

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait with changing myself, and wait with directing myself, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go through excuses and justifications, before I go to the point of change, instead of immediately re-directing myself to a point of change within me, wherein I accept and allow myself to not wait, but I instead act and move myself, and construct a solution to the point that I am facing

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am using excuses to not change, that I justifying my state of being, and not immediately going to the solution, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that waiting for change is unnecessary, and making excuses is in-fact a waste of time, which I could’ve used to move myself to self-change; as such I commit myself to practice going to the solution – to not be stuck in the problem – but direct myself to find and walk a solution

When and as I see that I am resisting writing, and applying self-forgiveness, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I realize that I am in this wanting to avoid facing and seeing the real nature of myself, and in a way I am avoiding self-change – as such I commit myself to push through this resistance, to stabilize myself here within and as breath, and write, and apply self-forgiveness until I am clear – here – and stable

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