Tag Archives: wanting

Creating Time

Day 356: Creating Time, or Chasing Time

There is time, and then there is the perception of time. Usually, the latter will be emotionally charged in some way – for example – with stress. Problems arise when we define our relationship with time through the perception of time, instead of seeing time exactly for what it is. Recently, I have started to look into and challenge my own perception of time – and I have seen a couple of interesting things.

First point: When I am on my way to work, or when I am at work as well, sometimes I get an urge to listen to some music, read a little bit in a newspaper, chat with a colleague, or do something that is not ‘productive’ in the sense that it does not relate to my work responsibilities. In such moments, I have noticed how I put myself off, through reasoning with myself that I do not have enough time. For example, I will not take up my phone and listen to music, because I think that the process of grabbing my phone, plugging in my headphones, and finding a song, will take too much time. Or, I will not stop to chat with a colleague, because I believe that I am then wasting my time, missing moments that I could have applied to get things done in my work. Hence, I will not give myself that small moment of pleasure and believe that I am through being strict with myself in this way save a lot of time.

Second point: My workload can be divided into two categories. Either it is work that have been planned since some time back, that I am able to foresee, or it is work that comes at a moments notice, that must take priority and get done before any of the planned work. Obviously, the unplanned parts of my work then ripples into the planned parts of my work, and disrupts the latter. Each time this happens, I have become tense, stressed, and anxious, that I will now not have enough time to complete the planned parts of my work. The thought comes up within that I do not have enough time! What I have done to solve this point is to start cutting corners, and obviously that is not supportive.

Now, here the turnaround. Lately I have begun to experiment with changing my relationship to time. To for example, give myself a moment to talk with my colleague, or listen to that song, or enjoy and push myself to walk through the unplanned parts of my work with diligence and detail. I have realized an interesting through doing this: TIME is usually not an issue! Yes, it is fascinating. I have found that usually, even though I give myself these moments, there will be sufficient with time for me left to get done what is needed to get done.

This goes to show two points: Firstly, we cannot trust our perception of time – that is to say our emotional relationship to time – because that is not a clear relationship and does not give us a true representation of time. Secondly, we actually use our time more effectively, and we are more productive, when we are not constantly chasing time, trying to save time, and make sure that we have the time that we need. Because if we do that, we will create imbalance, and that will in turn lead to us not being as focused, and as deeply committed and present to what we are doing HERE as we would be otherwise.

Thus, in giving ourselves time to ‘smell the roses’ of life – we are actually supporting ourselves to be a lot more effective in our day to day living – really – when we GIVE ourselves time – suddenly we have MORE time – is not that interesting? And when we chase time, we feel as if we have less time. It is all about perspective, where we can either approach our reality with a lack-perspective, and thus also create that lack – or we can approach our reality with a clear starting point where we USE our time to CREATE and GIVE ourselves and others moments of SUPPORT, ASSISTANCE and ENJOYMENT.

I find it very fascinating to see how the creation process of our daily living is so connected with WHO WE ARE on a beingness level.


Learn more about this way of living:

Day 307: Longing For More

About two years ago I started planning my future when it came to career, living arrangements, and what type of future that I wanted to experience in my life. In this process I was able to reach a few conclusions, such as for example: I want to live on the country side and I want to be able to have a career in which I can be flexible and steer my working hours in a way that fits me. Now I am at a stage where I have realized parts of my plan, and where I have come to see, that the assessments I made two years ago where in many ways correct. My plan has worked out in many respecs– and I should be happy. Though the fascinating thing is that, I am not.

Because, here I am, having reached my goals, finding out that things are not the way I imagined – and with that I mean – the way I perceived that they would feel. For example, in living on the country side, what I perceive to be amiss in my environment now is ambition and career-driven people. And then further, I feel that the small city which I live close to is to small, not enough people, it is too plain, and boring. Instead of being satisfied, my mind is moving towards a future in one of the bigger cities – something that I have planned to avoid due to the various inconveniences that go with living in a bigger city; such as housing prices, infrastructure, transportation, living costs etc. Hence, I find this development within me fascinating. And what I have realized is that this tendency of wanting what is not here, of seeing that is over there, and the bad that is here, it is a tendency I have had for some time – the inability to settle down and be content with what is here – and thus – work with what is here instead of trying to escape it.

Instead of appreciating what I have and the positive aspects of my reality, what stands out is the negative, what stands out is what I do not have, and what I feel that I should have. And this has been a theme in my life, mostly I have felt that my life is somewhere there, in the future, my life will begin in a year or two, my life will begin when I get over there, and in that process of projection, I miss the life that is HERE. Because I have seen, that it is not so much about WHERE you are, it is about WHO you are – WHO you are determines EVERYTHING. You can live in the most perfect of worlds, and still, if you are not stable and settled within yourself, there will still exist a restlessness deep inside, a want to get out, to experience something different, to not be here, but to get away.

What is then the solution?

The solution is to realize that projections into the future indicates what is amiss in my expression and practical living HERE – and hence – the projection is a coping mechanism – because through projections we are able to feel as if we are some time, some day actually going to reach our goals/dreams/wishes – however – we will not – because that projection only exists in the first place because we are not living that experience as ourselves.

For example, with me, what I now long for is a bustling city, filled with opportunities and momentum – and hence – a place where I can feel challenged and where I still have security and stability – and I also see that my projection contains a touch of fulfillment and completion – it is as if I will only somewhere in my future be able to realize myself as fulfillment – and feel utterly at ease with myself – no longing. Though this is as well an illusion – because fulfillment and completion can never come to me from my outside world – it can never be something that I find out there – instead these are words that I must live – that I must bring to life through living on a moment to moment basis.

Hence, when projections of the future come up, this can be utilized as a support, through asking oneself; what does these projections show me about myself? What is is that I have not created and lived HERE for and as myself that I am still projecting into the future? Thus instead of trying to reach my projection – I can instead bring my projection HERE – and make that desire/want/wish/preference that I see out there – a part of my living reality HERE as how I live – how I stand in thought, word and deed. This is the key to being able to create anything – because suddenly we are not bound by space and time – we are bound by our own initiative, push and drive – and how much we will ourselves to create ourselves.

Giving is the Key to Living

How have we come to where we are today?

How I’ve become what I am today?

The answer is simple – through accumulated moments.

We’ve lived in a certain way, from a certain starting point, living certain actions over and over again; never questioning the validity of ourselves and our starting point. And then suddenly, without any warning, we’re here. Here in this shit-hole called earth, wherein the struggle for our daily bread has become the very essence of our existence; wherein nothing else exists but either the fight to survive, or the greed of having more than others. That’s what we’ve become, and our world is reflecting this so wonderfully back to us.

And this world as it now exists, as a world solely driven from the starting point of profit, as I want, as ME FIRST, as MINE, as the statement of ourselves as completely self-interested and self-centered – wherein nothing else matters but our life, as our desires, our fears, and our small consciousness bubble; wasn’t created in one single moment. It was created through us in many moments, continuously and constantly living from the starting point of separation, as self-centeredness, as ego.

Where every moment that we lived from a starting point of separation created another layer, created another ripple in the sea of existence, to finally turn into a huge wave, which we now find ourselves in front of.

Thus – we could see it as following: what we face here today, as this earth, and our limited and constricted life’s upon this earth, is the accumulated consequence of what we’ve been giving to this world as the entirety of existence; or rather what we haven’t been giving to this world as the entirety of existence.

What we face here today, as riots, as corruption, as molestation and rape: are the accumulated moments of how we’ve lived the word giving. And as we can see by the consequences that we face, we’ve in-fact only been giving to ourselves, and taking from everyone else, believing there to be no repercussion for such behavior – though now we see that there is.

What is it that must be realized?

That we create through that which we g(L)ive in each and every moment. Thus – if we do not learn, do not apply, and move ourselves as giving towards a solution that is best for all, as giving as we would like to receive; there won’t come any change.

Change in this world is dependent upon you and me changing our starting point of giving, from giving to ourselves only, to giving to everyone equally. So far, we’ve been giving all we have to a system of abuse and consumption called capitalism – and this has caused extreme suffering. Now we stand before the decision to actually give in a way that will birth the change we’ve all wanted for so long – but it will actually require for us to give, and realizing that giving, and what we give in each moment; is the key to creating a world that is best for all, and consequently best for ourselves as well; not be for us as the mind, but for us as a physical being.

Thus – practice giving as you would like to receive in every moment of breath. Give towards a new world, a world that you would like to see become a reality; because it’s only through giving to all equally, as what is best for all, that we’ll be able to start living.