Tag Archives: wika

Day 446: We Need A New System

There is a lot going on in the world and especially the first world countries at the moment; a definitive movement towards something new and unexplored. Governments are venturing into unexplored territories, the economic system is becoming unveiled and people are facing economic and personal crisis on a level that has thus far been spared the western countries.

The big question in all of this is whether we will utilize this chance to expand ourselves or whether we will continue the way we have. At the moment – the big thing everyone is forced to see is the frailty of the economic system. Most of us live from paycheck to paycheck with few or no savings – and thus when an economic crisis hits – there is little we can do. And it is time that we question whether things must be like this, or whether we can in-fact change for the better. Why must money be a scarce resource? Why must unemployment exist? Why must we have inequality, have and have nots? Why do some have to live in poverty while some can live with more money than they can use in a lifetime? Why do we accept and allow a world for our children that is less than awesome?

The world I grew up in was slightly more stable, at least economically, than the world my daughter is going to grow up in. Now there is absolutely no certainty, and the entire system feels like it is toppling on the edge of disaster. And people seems to understand this on a deeper level and that probably why see this sure in panic buying of food and other consumables. People do have that general feeling that things are at the precipice of something bad – and – they are. The reason being that we have a system that does not care about you – and we have people that does not care for each other and the world around them. We have inhumane world – and whomever runs out of money – will find themselves in that hell.

My estimate is that this is not going to be over fast – this is going to stay for a long time – this is the consequence we have created for ourselves by not living in balance and harmony with earth and nature. And if we are able to handle this plague, yet refuse to learn, there will be another one that will hit even more harshly. And the consequences will be deserved. How much have not abused and harmed nature for our own personal happiness? To be able to make more money, buy more things, create more experiences for ourselves? Now – nature says: It is enough – if you are going to abuse me – I will make sure to protect myself with the necessary means.

And then, eventually, our race will become extinct. No more humans left. And most likely, if we remain the same, the world will be a better place without us. However – that can all change. I do see the potential for us to be custodians, to use our intellect for good, to support each-other, support animals, support nature, to blossom and live to the fullest. It is possible – where there is a will – there is a way. Just look at how long we struggled with lowering carbon emissions. Now when the Corona virus arrived and our survival became threatened – we closed our shops and went home. We could have done that before as well. Though we did not – and that is problem – we are still too much in our own personal desires – and not yet in a position within ourselves where we say – I WILL – I WANT to create this/that future.


Day 442: The Pharmacist

I watched a Netflix documentary called The Pharmacist. It is about a man called Dan Schneider that decides to become a pharmacist to support his wife and family. He lives a quiet and heavenly life together with his wife and two children, one son and one daughter. Everything is perfect, until one day, his son is murdered in a drug deal. Dan is utterly destroyed and is thrown into a abyss of pain, confusion, sadness, hurt and anger. And to deal with this pain, he decides to catch his son’s killer. Eventually he does – however he cannot rest. Because of the way his son died his eyes turn to the medical industry and a new drug called OxyContin, which is a pain medication based on opiates, and hence, highly addictive and dangerous in larger doses.

He begins to notice a irregular pattern in the prescription of OxyContin. Young people between 20 to 25 years start coming into his shop with prescriptions written by a certain doctor called Clegget. And what stands out is that they do not seem to be in that much pain and the doses they are prescribed are unusually high. Dan becomes suspicious and starts his investigation and uncovers a can of worms. He discovers that dr. Clegget runs a pillmill, and that is basically a drug dealer that presents itself as a pain clinic.

Soon the consequences starts to emerge in Dan’s community. Young people die in overdoses in large numbers and Dan intensifies his investigations and contacts governmental agencies in order to put dr. Clegget out of business. In the end, he manages to shut down dr. Cleggets practice, and he continues his work by sharing himself and his experiences of drugs in schools.

Dan makes a definitive difference in his society. From being a middle class dad minding his own business, he is transformed by this extremely painful event, to become a force of good. He is driven by empathy as he does not want anyone else to experience what he went through. In all the young addicts he sees his son and he pushes himself with patience and remarkable perseverance. He practically lives the point of oneness and equality as he extends the care and love he experienced for his son to the rest of his world. I found that remarkable and inspiring.

What I could see is that if all of us would do this in our worlds, in our professions, in our communities, if we each would take on a point that we want to change, that we see could be better, and persevere, we would have a different world. It is interesting that Dan needs to experience a great trauma in order to realize his responsibility towards his community and that his world is not a lone island – it is part of the whole.

Dan moves beyond a factor that tends to limit us; the trust and hope we put in our governments. He is not satisfied with contacting the government. He creates his own investigation, draws his own conclusions, and form his own movement. And that is really amazing. And what is more. He does this without any particular funding but his own average, middle class salary. If we take a look at these apparently great philanthropists, such as Bill Gates, what do they do but give a small portion of their money to projects and hope that this will solve all problems? That way they can ease their conscious and keep the rest of the money to themselves. Dan Schneider he got his hands dirty. He moved with passion and did whatever it took to find a way forward – and that is the mentality we need. Rich philanthropists might have a lot of money, but that does not matter when there is no real care and love for humanity.

Thus – I learned a lot from this documentary and from Dan Schneider – what he did was fantastic. I will practice walking with his stamina and determination and seeing myself as part of the whole instead of a isolated individual in my own bubble.


Day 441: Dealing with Pressure

This week I had a big and important meeting scheduled. It was supposed to last for several days and I had prepared myself for many days and hours. However, in a way I did not expect, the meeting was cancelled, and suddenly, all the plans I had created were changed. I noticed within me that I had built up a lot of pressure and energy in relation to the meeting – and when it was called off – I felt this burden lift from my shoulders. My body reacted with tiredness – and the following days I slept several hours more than what I am used to.

Hence – what did I learn from this event? That pressure is something that builds up incrementally and that it has a deep effect on the physical body – and that stress is also built up over time in such a way that I cannot see the heightened level of stress I am in because I have become accustomed to it – the stress have become normalized. It is thus really important to allow time, every day, for self-introspection, writing, self-forgiveness, and other activities that assist and support in letting go of built up energy. One of the best methods is focusing on breath and stopping the thoughts from wandering into the future – instead – one breath at a time – one step at a time.

I have also realized that stress comes up within me when I feel that much is at stake – and that is usually the case when I have a vested interest of some sort; primarily that tends to be money or career related – thus connected to survival. What helps me is to state that whatever the outcome – I will direct the point. Whether I lose my stakes or win the prize – I will find a way forward. I do not need to rely on a positive outcome to move forward – I will move forward regardless of the outcome. I disconnect myself from the stakes and make myself independent of the situation and able to deal with whatever might come. And probably – my fears all arise because I have placed my trust in money instead of in myself.

Thus I have to catch the moments of building stress to stop it from reaching a crescendo where I lose my ability to think clearly, sleep and function effectively. And in order for me to keep me in that stability – I have to check in with myself daily and be on the lookout for the type of thoughts that initiate this build-up. Usually for me these thoughts are about some form of failure or mistake – I will do something that is going to cause everything to fall together – or they are thoughts concerning the ‘What if?’ – what if everything goes badly? What if I do not know what I am going to do? What if? What if?

When it comes to failure – I have came to understand that I must allow myself to fail. It is a natural part of learning and expanding. The worst thing that I can do with failure is to not learn from it. And it is stupid to fear failure – because that is going to make me fearful and careful about venturing out into new opportunities and possibilities. I must embrace failure as a part of my life – because then I will not be afraid of trying new things and doing what I want to do.

And when it come to ‘What if’s?’ I understand that I can explore those endlessly. What does help is to establish the worst case scenario, mentally place myself in that situation and explore who I would be and how I would deal with it. Where would I go? What actions would I take? What kind of emotions and feelings would the situation initiate within me? And then clear all reactions utilizing self-forgiveness – so that if the situation does occur – I am stable within it and I can direct myself.

Pressure build-ups are not necessary if I effectively deal with and release the pressure by consistent and steadfast application. Then I can remain stable and the same regardless of the challenges that comes into my reality.


Day 440: The Dark Side of Success

I recently watched a Netflix documentary called Cheer. I can recommend it. It follows the best junior college cheer leading team in USA – the Navarro College Cheer. The team members range in age from 16 to 18 and are doing their first or second year at the college – and what takes up most of their time is their training. They put in many, many hours of practice to be able to complete their gymnastic and acrobatic routines. It is athletics on a high level and several times it is explained that the career of a cheerleader is over at the age of 19, because by that time the body is worn out.

The one thing that struck me was how everyone seemed to be possessed with the want to win – to such an extent that they would go to any lengths to secure their medal. And it is interesting to see how the sport has evolved and gotten more and more extreme, where teams have constantly pushed the boundaries forward. Throughout the documentary several cheerleaders complains about aches and exhaustion. And many mentally break down because of the pressure that is induced. Still, everyone accepts this as normal, and continues – because somehow they are convinced that winning will make up for it all.

It is fascinating to see how much mental and physical pain the team and their coaches go through. Anxiety, fear, stress, conflicts, anger, irritation, blame, jealousy, day out and day in, for a year – all because of the hope to win one competition at the end of the semester. And – SPOILERS – the team does win their title in the end. But was it worth it? Everyone seems to think so, when they run out of the stadium to celebrate, drunk on feelings, feeling like they are floating – because they can call themselves CHAMPIONS.

This behavior is normal – in adults. Kids, they do not do this and neither does animals. And I think it is because they are much more present in this moment that any pain and discomfort that they experience HERE will be prioritized and solved immediately. They will not remain in the pain and the struggle for several months only to fulfill a vision in their mind – that kind of mind functionality does not exist within them. However, in us adults, it does. And because of that we are able to plague and harm ourselves in our drive for success and victory – completely oblivious to the damage we are causing.

Competition, winning, success – conditions we have come to value so highly, but why really? These things are so cold, singular, and needs separation to work. There must be a loser, there most be a failure, for someone to be the star. Is it possibly the drama and energy within it that we have come to desire, or have we never asked ourselves whether this is what we want to pursue in life? What about equality, family, support and togetherness? Working together instead of working against one another. Perhaps we are not ready to see yet the damage that our constant drive for more is creating. We are still zoned out. Though, we have a world around is that is trying to show us something is wrong. Mentally damaged children and a nature that is collapsing. Why is it that we value our capitalistic lifestyle more than giving EVERYONE what they need to live a good life. It is beyond my understanding and frustrating – because I see that we could create it.

When I was younger I played many sports and I really, really enjoyed them. Unfortunately, the coaches were possessed with the desire to win – and eventually – all joy was sucked out from the game and all that became relevant was the price. This is something we as adults have to change – we cannot allow ourselves to suck the life out of everything just because we desire success. Children should be shown an example of what it means to truly express and enjoy life unconditionally – to enjoy sports unconditionally – to enjoy what is here without dreaming about the future and something more. That is our real challenge. Winning is easy – but living – that is something we have yet to accomplish.


Day 439: Resisting Change

There is a quote from Lao Tzu that I have found very supportive and insightful when things in my reality seems to become shaky:

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

What this quote shows to me is the benefits of letting go of control and expectations. Why struggle to create something that simply does not want to come through effectively? And how many of us do this. We are stuck in life situations that we desperately try to keep moving – and all the while – there is this struggle that underlines every push. What would happen if we let go of our visions and start working with what is real? What would happen if we dare to kill our darlings and look at things with fresh eyes. Sentimentality is a completely unnecessary luggage.

I have seen this clearly when it came to the career I decided upon. The interesting thing was that I initially tried to become a musician. And even though I loved it – there was a struggle, a fight, and conflict existent. It was seldom smooth and effortless and I never got the results I wanted. It was as if there was something off – I could not get through the way I wanted. And then I decided to change direction – and I pursued a profession that I did not particularly enjoy – however – I was really good at it. And when I aligned my vision/future according to my real self and my actual strengths – and even though it was not easy – it was not the same struggle anymore. There was a light in the tunnel. And the results I achieved were very cool and convinced me that I was on the right track. I stopped resisting what was naturally here with me and instead went with it/nurtured and strengthened it.

Animals do this as well. They are most of the times extremely specifically designed to fulfill a particular role in their environment. And no animal tries to actively alter their physical design to fulfill a different purpose in their environment – because for example – they have a dream or vision about it. Animals embrace their physical strengths completely and use them – they do not resist their nature. And that is something many of us humans miss. We think we have to become something different – we compare ourselves – and we use ideas of what is good and what is bad to make decisions. None of that is based on REALITY – on WHO we really are.

Change is part of reality – resisting change is the same as resisting reality. And what happens when we do resist reality is that we create conflict – both within and without. However – this does not mean that we should become followers. Rather – we should become practical and learn to work with what is here to achieve our goals – and to align our goals to reality – and be open to change our direction when something does not work. This is something that I am practicing. And it is balancing act – because being too practical, and too accepting of what is my reality at moment, can also lead to complacency and the creation of comfort-zones. Going with the flow can easily become detrimental if there is no direction – no vision of what we want to create/manifest – and in such a state we can accept less than what we are capable of becoming/doing.

Hence – while I do not want to resist reality – I also do not want to accept reality when it is less than what it can become. And struggles do not necessarily need to indicate that our approach is misaligned – it can be a point we are trying to create that is a big challenge – yet still possible to be created. What it comes down to is self-honesty. We need to listen to ourselves, our hearts, and our self-honesty and also let some doubt in now and again, so that we can question where we are at and what we are doing and if that is what is best.


Day 438: Blaming Politicians

The politicians are to blame! We need new ones! – that is the theme of so many chronicles. It is always someone else’s job to fix the shit we are in. We are so good at spotting, describing and voicing problems, yet when it comes to fixing them – we have a long way to go. What if all those journalists and critics instead would join a party, or create a new one, and sign themselves up to be elected. However very, very few do that. And those that do, well, it is their fault that we are in this mess.

For some reason politics have become separate aspect of society and life, something that we just expect others to handle while we go to work, enjoy our hobbies and live the good life. And when it does not work, we became mad as hell. In my country of origin, Sweden, this anger and frustration has taken form in the way of people voting for a party with a slightly racist party-line with many politicians that have questionable backgrounds. It is our way of saying – fuck this shit – it does not work – then I will vote for this fucking party instead. I am not saying it is wrong to get angry – but why do we not do the math – that in order to change political outcomes – we have to engage in politics practically. We cannot just sit on the sidelines and scream and expect things to become better.

And that reminds of a quote I read today. A women that were complaining on the decline of social services that noted in a passage that it cannot be up to normal people going to work to support the less fortunate – that must be a job for the government. And my question is, why should it not be up to us? Why must we at all times have some intermediary that steps in and does things for us, in any case we will get frustrated with the end-result – because it is not as good as we  wanted it. We have placed our power to affect social and political change outside of ourselves and instead of doing something – we complain. And we are really good at complaining. If we would be able to change things by complaining, many things would be different. In-fact I suspect we would be living in heaven-on-earth. It is unfortunate that complaining never leads to anything worthwhile. Complaining is the opium of the dissatisfied. It gives the sense of something being done while all that happens is that meaningless words are uttered and then lost forever because no one acted on them.

I wonder what would happen if all of us engaged with problems and tried to establish and suggest solutions. How about, instead of writing a angry chronicle, you write a article outlining a way to solve an issue that you have noticed. And then you could send a copy of the article to the politicians you now are involved in that particular issue. That would be supportive and constructive, while complaining and ranting is the opposite. Nobody is encouraged by someone calling out all the errors and faults that they see. Though somehow, we think that politicians are different, and that they should take our concerns seriously and act upon them.

I work with law and it has happened to me many times at work that people are flabbergasted by the content and consequence of certain legal acts. And when they are at the receiving end of the law they are quick to share their discontent. What I sometimes tell them is that they do have an ability to change that particular law by engaging in politics and by democracy change the law. And that is also why we cannot blame anyone else for how our society looks. We built it. We created the laws, whether by direct action or by allowance, it does not matter, we did it. I am all for finding problems – WHEN – we take responsibility for the point by also offering or suggesting a solution. And it does not matter if others like the solution or not. What matters is that we did that little extra to show that there is a way forward and that we do not have to remain in status quo complaining forever more.

I do not say that we all have to engage in politics, though what we must all understand is that we have a responsibility as to what goes on in politics. And whether we decide to act through representatives or by creating lobbying groups or by writing articles to create a debate, it does not matter, what is important is that we take co-responsibility and stop the blame game. We need people that are willing to work out the kinks of the problems to get forward – not only those that point them out.


Day 437: Redefining Christmas

It is Christmas again. And unfortunately, this has become the holiday of consumption. I talked with an old man and he shared his memories of Christmas. He shared that when he was a child Christmas was a holiday filled with reverence and depth. It was a time where the family came together to celebrate an important part of their religion. And even though I do understand that what he described was not ideal, considering the many problems connected to religion, I could sense that Christmas had a positive impact on him. And now, compare that with the Christmas of today, where all the focus is on buying things, and where Christian traditions have become but empty shell – a tradition with no content but rather loosely connected parts that appear without reason. A Santa Claus that comes from the Germanic folklore and whose appearance have been partly created by the Coca Cola company to market their beverages – situated in a holiday supposed to be about commemorating the birth of Jesus. It is a big jumble of stories – and now – they are all in the claws of corporate greed – that tries to milk every bit of penny out of the festival.

Is it strange that children become confused or that we feel that life in this world is meaningless? Look at Christmas, it is has become a bunch of traditions that make no sense what-so-ever – and where the overarching principle have become to buy things – whether that is food, products or services. We have come to a point where our traditions have become so watered and nonsensical out that we have to step in and make our own – and that is GREAT. We have to individually remake and recreate the meaning and purpose of our holidays if we want them to matter and have a positive impact. I have done that with Christmas. To me this holiday is about relaxation, calm, contemplation, introspection and bonding with family. I did go out and cut down a spruce, and then I helped my daughter and sister to decorate it. And I did that because it was a supportive moment of bonding and creativity. My daughter enjoyed to hang all the various decorations in the tree – and even though it does not make any sense why we should decorate a spruce in such a way – it is a fun thing to do and it brought us closer together.

I have realized that I cannot turn to society to create value to my holidays. There is no supportive template out there – however – that is what makes it fun. And in this time and age, where secularization have literally washed away any and all forms of forceful piety, we can now do what we want to do. And because we are all individuals, with different needs, we are all going to want to have a different form of Christmas. There is not one way to celebrate a holiday – there are as many as there are humans. For example, some people might want to celebrate adventure and movement during their holiday – someone else might want to celebrate musical expression. What matters is that we do something for ourselves that has meaning, that is supportive, that is strengthening, that matters. And hell – we might even buy something for ourselves or another – a treat – that is going to have a positive impact in our or their life. Consumption in itself is not bad – it is how we do it. We have become mindless consumer zombies, buying stuff without consideration or depth, allowing ourselves to be manipulated by the cunning marketing strategies of corporations that only care about profits.

The interesting thing is that we all seem to crave depth and meaning. The problem is that we look for it outside of ourselves. We try to find ‘our purpose’ or ‘meaning’ – try to find ‘our position in the world’ – which is also in a way consumerism – we believe that we will some day find our ready made direction/position – that we will step into and then everything from that point will be just fine. The thing is that we have to create purpose and meaning. And it does not have to be anything grand. What is important is WHO WE ARE within what we do – how do we approach it? Do we proceed with our life as just something to get through – or do we put our presence and attention HERE and really take part in it? This is the future as I see it: Self-directed and self-willed participation in reality that is meaningful – that creates ripples of support for ourselves and others.