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Day 423: Changing our Patterns, Changing our Future

Some days ago I was hanging out with my daughter, she is close to two and a half years old at the moment. I could see the kind of person she is developing into – and it made me proud. I really enjoy seeing her expand – and I realized one thing: that this growth is not an accident – it is the result of my partner and I spending time and sharing the best of ourselves with her. Two and a half years might sound like a short time, though for a child, there is an amazing development. From being a piece of flesh, my daughter can now speak, do basic reasoning, create and maintain relationships, and share her likes and dislikes. In that moment I could see the result of our efforts – and it yet again brought forth the understanding within me that change/movement/creation comes through in the small moments accumulated over time.

It is easy to forget the power of accumulation and instead start to believe/think that there is more power in taking great strides. Small actions, when executed, feels easier, less impactful, and without as much meaning as putting in long hours of work into something. However, when that small action is done over and over again, consistently, over a period of time, it will start to have great and lasting impact. That is the secret of creating anything in this world – consistent – persistent – principled action. And this phenomenon is always part of reality. Each morning everything begins anew. Each day we have an opportunity to reinforce some form of pattern – and it is the quality of these patterns that will determine the result, the quality of our life. If we have a lousy quality on our patterns – then the result will be lousy. If our patterns are effective – we will have great results.

Walking the process of self-forgiveness is to learn to redesign our patterns into supportive and expansive structures that help us move forward. An easy example of how this works is the following. Let us say you have a pattern of going into fear of survival when you buy things, causing you to compromise yourself in terms of the goods and services you purchase. A redesign of such a pattern would be that you create a pattern of trusting yourself with money to buy what you require to be the best you can be. Such a pattern in relation to money will make you self-empowered with money.

All our life consists of these patterns – and they come through in child rearing. What most parents tend to do is to share/live patterns that are ineffective. An example of such a pattern is becoming angry when the child displays some form of destructive behavior instead of explaining what was wrong with the behavior, why it was wrong, and supporting the child to create a more effective way of relating to the world. And because we have dysfunctional patterns, our children gets a dysfunctional education, and they start breaking down in various ways. And this can all be avoided – when we walk our process – and change our dysfunctional patterns into patterns that supports equality, life and what is best for all.

My partner and I have walked this process of self-forgiveness – we still have a long way to go – however already – I can see the effects of our own personal changes in our daughter – and it is awesome. I wish I could have grown up the way my daughter grows up. She has two parents that want the best for her – and that have understood how unwanted patterns are created and how they can be directed. Everyone should know about this – especially those of us that are or that aspire to become parents.

We are all programmable and we live in a programmable world. This is the key to self-creation and supporting a child to create themselves. Everything can be directed with consistent and persistent action.


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Day 422: Using Money, With Common Sense

It can be easy to forget what is important in the face of money. On the hand, money is really, really important. If you have none – you are literally fucked. However, if you do have your basic needs covered, and money left over to spend on pleasures, then money becomes of less importance.

Because let us say that you have a ton of money, would that make you happier, more comfortable, more safe, have better relationships, be more satisfied? The truth is no – it would however enable you to live out all kind of crazy escapism strategies. What is the purchase of massive luxury yachts, the constant need for home renovating, the urgency to travel and see new places, to experience new kinds of foods, and have new experiences, but our attempts to cover up the truth – the truth that we all feel pretty fucked up – and that our world is pretty much fucked up.

Thus, when the basic needs are covered, and there are money to pursue hobbies and interests, the challenge becomes to keep focus on what is important, and not to become engulfed in the current consumerism capitalism system, where most of everything circles around some form of purchase. It is fascinating – I have seen this many times in myself. I have acquired new hobbies, such as gardening for example. And as I start to deepen my relationship to the interest, the desires start to emerge. Seemingly, I am now in need of a new kind of tool to prepare my garden, or a new type of soil, or seed, to make my hobby fulfilling. This is the lure of money – the belief that we constantly have to spend, to acquire, to purchase in order to fulfill ourselves, and our lives – but the reality is that money is not able to give us that fulfillment – it cannot be bought – it can only be lived.

Children show this to us effectively. They are little about the equipment, the stuff, the toys, and more about their experience within it, their expression, their movement, the relationships, the creativity, and all of the soft, ethereal values that can be explored without money. The challenge as an adult is to remember that. It is not about the money – it is about WHO WE ARE WITHIN WHAT WE DO.

Abundance of money can thus create attention diversion – where we without really wanting it or understanding what we do – start to focus more of ourselves on buying things instead of developing ourselves and our relationships. For example, we neglect our relationships with our children in order to work more, to buy more, to apparently, make ourselves more happy and content – and to create a better future for a children – while really all that our children would want is to spend more time with us when we are relaxed and content.

Money thus is a difficult point to master. The solution as I have found it is to focus on my expression, my expression, and my physical movement – to place focus on WHO I AM and not on what I own or what I want – and to find and establish fulfillment in my expression instead of in buying new things. And it is important to clarify our relationship to money, because in order to change ourselves, and to be a part of changing this reality, we have to use our money to facilitate such a change. We have to spend money to create a better world – and thus – push through our desire/urge to keep it all for ourselves and to use it to further our own interests only.

Muslims have found a good way to deal with this point. They give a percent of their income to people in need, they call it zakat. While it might not have worked in practice – it is a key to moving forward with all kinds of problems in the world. If we want to sort something out, we must fund it, we must give our money to a cause. For example, if we want to support nature, we must invest in nature. If we want to alleviate poverty – we must invest in poor people. And it is not enough to rely on the government to do this – our money must be given direction with awareness. Currently, most of us allow our money to trickle into all kinds of unnecessary and meaningless shit. If we take a self-honest look at what we are buying, it is easy to see that we do not need half of it – and that the money are needed elsewhere.

Thus, when we are able to create a stability in our finances, the challenge is to keep our direction, keep our stability, and to position ourselves to share, to give, and to influence, and impulse the direction/creation we want in this world. Nothing ever comes by itself, it we want it, we have to create it.


Day 421: A House Divided Cannot Stand

A house divided cannot stand.

And unfortunately – humanity is a house divided. We are divided because we become too attached to our own personal lives – too involved in the belief that our life is what matters the most – and far removed from the notion that humanity is one race – living on one planet – all breathing the same air – all exposed to the same conditions – all made of flesh and blood. We are all from earth – though from the moment we are born – our devolution into personality begins. And this is why we as of yet are unable to manifest lasting and effective change for all people on earth to have the best life possible – we are too separated from one another.

Imagine if all of us would feel the pain of everyone else. The moment one starve, everyone would experience the deep pain, the slow decomposition and deterioration of muscles and fat and the increasing fear of death. How different our world would be. In such a world – there would be no wars – the pain of such an event would be excruciating – far too extreme to outweigh any form of reward. In such a world there would be enormous investments made to empower and better the lives of the poor, sick and elderly – as everyone would experience the consequences. Actions that further the empowerment of humanity as a whole would be rewarded and seen as distinguished acts – because these would lessen the pain and increase the sense of well-being for everyone.

Imagine such a world – a world where our nervous system would be connected to everyone else’s – no separation – no hiding. In our real world, there is no such thing – here we must rely on our empathy and our ethereal connection to earth/life/the physical – and this has been a complete failure. We are in most cases unable to stand together, to feel one another, and to care for one another. Our political opinions are proof of that – because how are we able to have different opinions of what would be best if we would not be divided and each of us have our own agenda and idea of what is best.

Living oneness and equality practically is not easy. The challenge is to remain stable and considerate when survival triggers comes into play, such as hunger, deprivation of sleep, cold or excessive heat. And I would say that for most people that is impossible – we are deeply programmed on a physical level to preserve ourselves and our survival. However – when our survival is granted – interesting things happen.

I recently watched a documentary called the boat. It was about a sociological experiment on conflicts. The researcher had the idea that only in a pressured state would the true nature of human beings come forth. Therefore he constructed a small boat with a sail, designed to keep 12 people in very close proximity. The boat was inhabited with a mixture of people from different ethnicities, cultures, religions and colors of skin – with the idea that this would be potential causes of conflict. The state of fear was supposed to be induced by the fact that these people would sail in the boat over the Atlantic, drifting with the currents and also using the sail – a difficult and potentially life-threatening journey.

What happened was interesting. Instead of conflict – what occurred was that the people started to working together, form a tightly knitted team, to effectively deal with the external dangerous that they were exposed to. Instead of becoming divided, they becoming united, solidified, and strong as one group. The researcher became increasingly frustrated – because he expected conflict – and even though the conditions seemed to be perfect – nothing happened. And thus he attempted to provoke conflicts between the members of the group, without result.

In the end the researcher viewed the experiment as a failure – because he had not learned anything about conflicts. However – what I see is that the experiment does show some very important points when it comes to conflict and fighting between people. Firstly – fighting and conflicts are very much a result of how we have designed our current system – where all are pushed into a state of survival and are pitted against one another in a capitalistic race. If we compare to the boat, there each participant were dependent on the other members of the group – and there was no systematic competition – instead the group competed against external elements to empower itself and its members.

Secondly – in the boat scenario – there were no shortages of food, water or accommodation – and the resources on the ship were to my knowledge distributed equally between the members of the group. This is a point that is in stark contrast the normal society were resources are distributed arbitrarily to the people that happen to have the most money – and there is no regard for any innate value in human beings – as each are only valued according to the amount of money that they have.

What is interesting thus is that this researcher actually created circumstances on his boat that allowed for peace and mutual cooperation to come through – even though he thought that he was creating an environment that would induce massive amounts of conflict.

Thus – to get back to the initial point. If we want to be able to create a new world, a new way, where everyone gets to have a life of dignity – a life of love and enjoyment – we need to start working together – start encouraging our strides forward no matter how small they might be – and stop dividing. We do not need more opinions – we need more understanding. And we do not need more leaders – we need more groups that stand and work together as one towards creating a better life for everyone.


 

Day 420: Beingness Technologies

One hundred years ago, there was still no sanitation or running water in the country where I live. You had to go outside to the well and pump water, and to wash clothes, you then had to heat the water, then manually rinse the clothes in a basin, and hit the clothes with a plank to remove the dirt. Taking care of the basic needs of life, food, housing and clothing, meant extensive work, and the majority of people worked themselves into an early grave. Having that in mind it is extraordinary to see what we have accomplished in the modern world. We have many technical innovations that allow us to live more comfortably. What fascinates me however, is that we now take it all for granted, and that this comfort and ease, seems to have made us prone to living more in our minds than in reality. And that is unfortunate, because I see that our comfortable lifestyle is what now makes it possible to for the first time really explore what life in reality could be all about.

Before our technical progress we were forcibly grounded in reality – on earth – with the dirt, water and sun. Our entire lifestyle consisted of working in and with the physical – it had to be done in order for us to survive. Today – that relationship with the physical must be maintained with awareness. We have to literally discipline ourselves to not move away into a variety of inner mind universes – we have to discipline ourselves to be grounded and earthed – it does not anymore happen by itself. And that is not something we are taught how to do. We are simply expected to figure these things out for ourselves without any guidance. I consider our inability to create and maintain a healthy relationship with the earth and ourselves as the next great technological leap – it will be a technology of the beingness.

It is interesting – because we have placed so much of our attention and focus on empowering ourselves to survive – though none on empowering ourselves to live. There is a difference between surviving and living. Surviving is to keep your head above the water and keep your belly full, your body warm and nourished. Living is to express and experience your own unique beingness in this world – and to become sensitive to the life sprawling all around. And technologies supporting the latter expression is severely underdeveloped. That is why it will be a challenging process to start learning what it means to live. There are few to look at and learn from. However – there is exceptions – and I mean that Desteni is one of those. It is a organization that has developed a few very potent tools that can be used to direct one’s mind and to change one’s relationship to physical reality. And combining these you get a very effective toolbox that can help most people venture through the most challenging internal life experiences.

The primary tool is called self-forgiveness – it is the application of moving through your mind and forgiving yourself for separating yourself from your physical self and into third party observations (also called thoughts) of yourself and reality. The basic understanding is that simply by the act of thinking – you are not living immediately here – you are observing and making conclusions about yourself and reality that are not based on a direct connection with reality. This process of separation can in the long run create extensive consequence as each and every thought brings us further and further away from the essence of ourselves – from the earth.

I have yet to find a tool that is more effective than self-forgiveness when it comes to creating understanding and transcendence with regards to self-limiting mind patterns. What consistent use of self-forgiveness creates is the power to see that we are not what we think – we are what is behind the thoughts – the life-force – the fuel that powers the thoughts – and in reality – we can exist just fine without thoughts. We do not need them to live, express, share and experience. Thus – self-forgiveness is the process of stepping into the role of being the creator of your own character in every moment of breath.

It reminds me of the following quote

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

With self-forgiveness you can literally go backwards in time and alter your thoughts – and give yourself the opportunity to begin again. That is why it is so powerful – and that is why it is called forgiveness. It is because it is a process of releasing and letting go of what has already been created to make room for the new – and the new – that is created by ourselves – this time with AWARENESS and SPECIFICITY and with a connection to what is real – the dirt, water, sun, air and flesh.


Day 419: The Opinionated Democracy

There is a interesting phenomenon that makes human progress arduous, difficult, and sometimes, almost impossible. Even though we have democracy and are theoretically able to vote on solutions that would best support everyone – we are not able to get there. One of the big road blocks is the opinionated self.

The opinionated self, which nearly all of us possess, is the desire we hold to be special, to have the answer, to be the leader, to control the outcome, to be famous and to be in the center of attention. To reach this status of godhood we create opinions – our own opinions. And then we strive to market our opinion and argue against others that hold a different opinion – and because everyone tends to hold their own opinion – there is a lot of arguing going on. This makes cooperation very difficult. In-fact, it seems as if the only part of society where we are somewhat average at cooperating is when it comes to monetary survival. When are given a salary, and threatened to be fired unless we comply with company guidelines, we are barely, and for a moment, able to let go of our opinionated self’s and focus on bringing through the message/direction of a entity larger than our own individual self.

However, when we are not threatened to be fired, and when our survival does not depend on it, cooperation, agreement, communal support and understanding, is difficult to find. This becomes clear when you take a visit to Youtube. For example – I follow many organizations that have a message that – if implemented in society – would definitely have some supportive outflows. However – in the comment-section – what is prevalent is the arguing about different opinions and vantage points. The arguments back and forth – about who is right and who is wrong – takes precedence before discussing – how to implement the solution or how to find common ground to make things better.

This is one of the primary reasons why it is so hard for us to find solutions and make things better – we simply have not learned how to agree, how to find common ground, how to establish our common principles, and how to work for the greater good. Instead of establishing and working with common principles – we become stuck in a mind-state of trying to win with our own personal opinions. It is fascinating to see the behavior unfolding – because everyone seems to think that they hold the answer, the key – which causes them to be blind to what they are actually doing – which is spreading seeds of division.

Contrary to common belief – democracy has because of our inability to stand together – disempowered rather than empowered us. And it is unfortunate – because if we could learn how to collaborate and care for one another – democracy holds the key to creating heaven on earth. Though – because we are divided – we are weak. Individually – our impact is limited – collectively – we change the character of the world.


Day 418: Observations on Politics

Last week I visited a political festival that is arranged each year. It was very, very intense, and it showcased the problems with how democracy works currently. In essence, the reason why we are not able to change problems fast and effectively is because we are divided. For example, I visited a lecture that concerned basic income. There were two lecturers, and both had their own individual idea about how basic income should be implemented. And thus – the entire discussion came to be about the conflict between the perspectives, instead of looking at how to actually implement the idea in reality.

It seems like the problem is that we all want to have our own opinion, our own version, our own voice to matter, to be important, recognized, esteemed and followed – and because of that – we fight everyone else. It is fascinating and unfortunate – because the end result tends to be that absolutely nothing but talking and arguing happens. We argue about what way to go, how to go there, when to go there, what to do when we get there, instead of deciding together and then simply going there. I am not in any way surprised that no alternative solution to economics, diplomacy, school, or society in general has been implemented as of yet – we are simply no there – first – we have to learn how to work together.

This is also why corporations tends to overwhelm and defeat non-profit start-ups. The corporation is a dictatorship and has a clear guideline – which is profit. The non-profit has no clear hierarchy and mission – and furthermore tends to compete with other non-profits about presenting the ‘best’ solution to a problem. The result is usually that the non-profit organization lose movement and die out – while the corporation marches on. It is no wonder that things are the way they are today – how can we except anything different when we ourselves has not changed?

If we want to be able to bring through new ideas, alternative solutions, alternative ways of living, we have to learn to work together – and agree on common approaches. It is not possible to move forward if all of us want it our own way. It is not possible to do it ‘our way’ and expect any great results. Impactful movements have in common that many people have agreed on one direction and followed that. It is similar to water. One drop of water has no force – a flood of it however can tear down damns. And maybe this is why so far – great societal projects have been more keen to appear in dictatorial regimes rather than democracies – because in such regimes there is no space for division. And I am not in any way suggesting dictatorship as sound means of statecraft – what I want to show is that because we accept and allow so much division between ourselves – and because we tend to mostly think about ourselves – we have not yet been able to harness the power of democracy effectively.

Consider the fact that democracy is based on the starting point that majority rules. Though – without a majority – it is not possible to achieve a breakthrough. And that is where we are at currently – learning that together  we stand and divided we fall. Individually, we are easily controlled by minorities – yet together – we are able to change the basic foundations of society. And what are we all able to stand with? We want what is BEST for ourselves and everyone else – because what is best for everyone – is by implication best for us. Politics should not be about left or right, it should be about finding out what is best and doing that together. Right now politics is about competing viewpoints and opinions – and then everyone tries to convince one another that their opinion is the best one – instead of simply investigating what is the best option and doing that.

Another thing that makes democracy difficult is that it is without values or principles. The basic foundation of democracy is that everyone is allowed to have their own opinion and voice their ideas – even if their opinions and ideas are destructive. And unfortunately – people tend to use democracy to further their own agendas instead of looking at the best of the collective.

Thus – my take on this is that democracy, politics, and structural system implementations will not be able to reach its full potential until us humans develop ourselves to be able to stand by a higher purpose – where giving stability and support to everyone takes precedence over one’s own life goals. We need to grow as people before our external reality is able to grow.


Day 417: What Difference Between Yes and No?

What I like about children is that they do not define themselves according to the past, neither do they define themselves according to the future, neither do they define themselves according to what they do. For example, if you ask a child what he or she is doing, he will answer that is doing whatever he is involved with in that moment. He will not explain what kind of career he aspires to have, what future he hopes for, what kind of hobbies he is involved with. He will share himself – and as a child his attention is completely HERE.

I miss that ability to be completely engulfed in living as it takes place HERE – with such an intense presence that the past and the future dissolves. Because as an adult, I have become so used to pursuing plans, goals, careers, ideas, various abstract structures, that are helpful and do have a natural place in life, but that can block my life force when allowed to be in the foreground. Plans, goals, the past, and the future, that is not life – these are tools to live LIFE – and as tools – I decide when to use them. If my plans and my goals constantly arise within my inner mind throughout my day, and take focus from my present moment, then I am not in control, and then I have lost my childish innocence and ability to be present here.

There is a really good quote from Lao Tzu on this point:

“Stop thinking, and end your problems.
What difference between yes and no?
What difference between success and failure?
Must you value what others value,
avoid what others avoid?
How ridiculous!

Other people are excited,
as though they were at a parade.
I alone don’t care,
I alone am expressionless,
like an infant before it can smile.

Other people have what they need;
I alone possess nothing.
I alone drift about,
like someone without a home.
I am like an idiot, my mind is so empty.

Other people are bright;
I alone am dark.
Other people are sharp;
I alone am dull.
Other people have purpose;
I alone don’t know.
I drift like a wave on the ocean,
I blow as aimless as the wind.

I am different from ordinary people.
I drink from the Great Mother’s breasts.”

What I take from this quote is that there is great peace, joy and calm in living completely HERE and not defining oneself according to the changes that is a constant in reality. And it makes sense – that if I do not define my reality as positive or negative – and I do not define the changes that occur as good or bad – I will simply deal with whatever comes my way without any particular instability. When there are no expectations, no fears, no hopes, no desires – I will be able to live without constantly looking for something more and reacting to what comes about.

When it comes to purpose, I also enjoy this quote. Some days ago I heard a philosopher that talked about purpose. He said that if you lock yourself into a room for a month, then after a while, you will get an urge to do something, and that which you want to do, that is your purpose. What I saw however was that such an approach to purpose is limiting. Purpose is not something that is supposed to control us – and purpose will change from moment to moment. It does not make sense that we have one interest, hobby or passion that is to be our guiding beacon in life – and that we are supposed to arrange everything according to this experience. Because if that is the case, we will miss everything else! There is so much to life and to ourselves, and each moment holds a gift – a present to be unwrapped.

I do not want to have one purpose – I want to be purposeful – and repurposed for each and every moment to be the best that I can be. If my daughter needs some from me – my purpose is to be there for her. If I require to do something at work – my purpose is to get it done. If I am by myself with nothing in particular to do – my purpose can be whatever I wish – I can give myself the purpose to utterly relax and let go – and for a moment – allow my body to regain its energy. And living like this can probably be seen as an aimless drift – however there is a structure and a direction – it is in every moment – it is flexible and embracing – the same as water – and shifting with whatever is required. Water can crash, it can pour gently, it can find its way through small cracks or move around objects – it always works in symmetry with its environment.

I will be like water and practice living in every moment come what may – and stop valuing what others value, or make differences between yes and no, success and failure – all of it is still only different nuances of the present moment.