Tag Archives: worry

Day 428: Changing Competition

I have now been back at work for a couple of weeks, and one point that has opened up, which has not been present during my vacation, is competition. I have noticed that I compete with my colleagues in many respects, and most of the the time I am competing for attention/recognition/praise from a superior.

This week I have actively challenged my tendency of becoming fearful/anxious/judgmental when I receive criticism by my superiors at work. Usually, I would react in fear, stress or anxiety, and then go into a judgment, and then try to improve that particular aspect of my work so as to not repeat the same mistake again. The way I have challenged this behavior is to, instead of looking at how to change/improve my professional skills to avoid criticism, I look at and push myself to find the core problem and issue within me that is responsible for me making that mistake in the first place.

An example would be how I made a mistake when writing a report at work. My superior came into my room and showed me that I had missed some information. I wanted to go into anxiety and self-judgment, however I stopped myself and instead decided to look at the core issue. What I found was that, at times, I will have this fine feeling/experience that I have missed something, that something is ‘off’, something is not as it should be. The mistake I have done in those moments is that I have brushed that feeling over by saying to myself: ‘No, no, I have done the necessary work, let’s just get done with this now’. Hence, in-fact forcing myself to move forward, when there is a part of me signalling that I am not completely finished. Hence, I made the commitment to start practicing listening to this fine part of myself that comes through at times, to take it seriously, and put more effort and time into investigating and proof-reading, when I ‘suspect’ that something is not as it should be.

What I could also see, as a core problem, was that I at times, too fast throw myself at a conclusion, because I want to get done with it, and because of that, I make unnecessary mistakes, when I could have avoided that mistake through a bit more of research, consideration and deliberation – in essence – CALMING myself down and daring to MOVE and DIRECT myself as SLOW as is needed. There is no meaning or sense in rushing something. However, it takes a commitment, it takes breathing, it takes being steady and stable, to move slowly and comfortably, to dare to use my time and invest it into the various projects in my life, and not haste, believing that I will be able to ‘do more’ if I haste.

Thus, instead of competing, I bring it back to myself. Instead of trying to beat others, I place my focus on challenging myself, and ‘beating’ myself – doing better than what I did in the past – and pushing myself to continuously create myself, and move forward, regardless of what it is that I am doing – there is always room for expansion and momentum. And instead of trying to achieve respect and attention from a superior – I make sure that I give these things to myself – earning my own respect through the way I live – and giving myself attention through literally – paying attention to myself and what I am going through.

 


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Day 343: Fear of Loosing My Freedom?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define thinking, imagining, fantasizing, as freedom, to think that it is through using the mind that I am able to be free, and that it is through the physical that I am stuck

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming stuck, locked into, and defined by the physical, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear, giving up the mind and embracing the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up fantasies, in the fear that I will become limited

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up thoughts, projects, and imaginations, in fear that I will become limited without them, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to believe that I can be dis-empowered by the physical, and that the mind empowers and strengthens me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear silence, quiet, and darkness, to fear being without a constant chatter within me, where I look at things, believing that it is freedom, to constantly move around within and look at different things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is freedom, freeing, and fulfilling, to constantly be busy with things, and believe, that the busier I am, that the more fulfilling, enjoyable, and great my life is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my mind in the belief that my mind makes me free – and that my mind makes me flexible – and that I would die, shrivel, and loose my vitality without constantly being in my mind, and using my mind to think about things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up and stopping my tendency to think about, imagine, and fantasize about the future, in fear that I will limit myself, and confine myself, and loose the experience of freedom that I feel I am having when I am participating in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being earthed is being isolated and locked down – that it means that I cannot express myself – that I cannot look at things or expand – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate expansion, looking, movement, freedom, with my mind, instead of living these words as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back from living freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate freedom with looking at my future in my mind – looking at what I am going to do next – looking at my opportunities – looking at what might arise and come into my life next – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath – bring myself back here – and see, realize and understand, that freedom as a real expression – does not yet exist in this world – that freedom is something to be created on a global level through changes in the world system – and that freedom does not mean being able to fantasize about things in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel secure when I am able to fantasize about what is going to happen in the future

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel comfortable and at ease when I imagine and fantasize about my next move in the future – and to believe that existing and expressing myself HERE is a prison – because then I am not able to visit far away places in my mind – then I am locked down and defined within my body to only be here – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding, that I do have the potential of living and creating myself as the word freedom – that this is nothing I need to wait for – and that living the word freedom in the physical is a lot more powerful than only experiencing it in my mind

When and as I see myself going into future projections – and I feel comfortable/at ease/free – I take a breath – and I stop myself and bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that real freedom is freedom lived and experienced in the PHYSICAL – not an experience – not a thought – real freedom is something that cannot be imagined – and thus I commit myself to instead of thinking about freedom in my mind – practice CREATING real freedom in my life – through living FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION – which is a real and substantial freedom that I am able to grant myself

Day 335: Slowing Down

Of all animal species on earth, human beings is the only one capable of creating a dream/goal/vision, and then, walk through life with the sole focus of fulfilling that future point of creation. All other types of animals lives and creates in the moment with no particular idea of how they would like their future to look like. As much as this skill we have is what makes us powerful, extraordinary and capable of building magnificent things, it is also our greatest weakness, in particular when our drive/desire to bring something into creation ‘out there’ gets in the way of living and experiencing life on a day to day basis HERE.

To better understand this point I will share an example from my own life. All since beginning my university studies some 6 years ago, I have been very motivated to get through them and to dive into the world system and start applying myself in my area of expertise. This focus of mine was initially very supportive, because I was clear and determined, I knew where I was going and had a general idea of how I was going to get there. However, when I was about to finish my studies, and I applied for the last advanced courses, a doubt and insecurity started to creep up within me. I had achieved excellent marks and before me was a world of opportunities, though the problem was that I had no particular interest or passion in any field or area. For me, all the various focuses that I could decide to move into where the same. On top of this, there was a conflict within me, as to whether I should choose a focus where there was more money, or a focus that was more aligned with what I enjoyed to do.

This uncertainty grew within me and continued for a long while after I was done with my university studies. I just did not feel comfortable in deciding on a focus, on a direction, and on where I wanted to take my life. I felt like it was too much of a decision, because, what if I made the wrong decision? What if I after several years realized that I had moved in the wrong direction? What was I supposed to do then? At that point I would have wasted all of these years, when I instead could have made the right decision immediately. Hence, what became my focus was what I wanted to do in the future, not, what I wanted to do, and what I was already involved with HERE. Because, as I was having these uncertainties about my future, I at the same time enrolled in a advanced class, and I continued to pursue hobbies and leisurely interests – yet always with this little voice deep inside my mind reminding me that I did not really know what to make of myself in my future.

It is fascinating to look back and see how this pattern of wanting to know and be clear on who I am going to be, and what I am going to do in my future plays out, and what that consequences flows from this mind design. In trying so desperately to know what we going to create with our lives, we miss out on the actual real life process of creating and building ourselves, our days, our interests, our careers, and all of the various things that are included in this thing we call life. Instead of creation being HERE, in the moment, in the physical, something that we express naturally as WHO WE ARE, life then becomes mechanic, where we fill ourselves up with logical assessments and attempts at making final and conclusive decisions as to where we are going, FORGETTING that, life can only be effectively lived in the moment – and while it is possible to have a plan and general outline of where we are going – it is not possible to decide upon where we will end up eventually.

I had a chat with a friend of mine during the time when my uncertainties reached a peak, and she shared with me the following:

We often think that things only get moving THERE in the FUTURE – when all the while, to create that future – starts with EVERY DAY, that little you do to get things moving and building on it however much you can with each passing day.

This statement has been the SOLUTION for me to move out of my inner madness of continuously wondering about, considering, and looking at what I should do – and instead embracing what is HERE.

I find it fascinating how it is so, so easy to become overwhelmed and lost within feelings and fantasies of what we should be doing, want to do, feel like doing, resist doing, hope to do, dream about doing, instead of focusing on WHAT WE ARE DOING and what is POSSIBLE in the life we already live here. It is so easy to get lost in thoughts about doing and experiencing things that are not a practical or a realistic option, and at the same time, completely forgetting and missing what is right in-front of us.

Now, creation starts HERE, with the small and seemingly insignificant acts that things moving in the direction we have foreseen. If you have an urge to learn a new language, however, you have looked at it and realized that there is no time to do to pursue a course or travel a country where that language is spoken – then – instead of getting stuck in that state of wondering – look at of the box – what small thing are you able to do in your everyday life that will bring you closer to the goal that you have set for yourself. Maybe, one such act would be to buy a audio beginners language course and then practice and  learn the new language while driving to work?

When we SLOW the fuck DOWN – stop rushing and looking at what we must reach out there in the future – and bring our focus BACK HERE – that is when shit starts to make sense. Whatever it is that we want, on some level, it is already here and ripe for the taking – we just need to open our eyes – see it – and act.


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Day 317: Redefining Work

I watched a School of Ultimate Living hangout on Redefining the word Work and it was very interesting and inspirational. The hangout covered the topic of resisting and disliking work – an experience most of us are probably able to relate to. I suspect that the majority of people desired to do something different than what they are now doing for a living. At least this is the case for me. My line of profession is not anywhere close to what I hoped to achieve and experience as a youth. However, as our world functions currently that is the reality we have to deal with. It is not likely or realistic that I will be able to make a living with music, painting, being a soccer pro or television host. There are few positions like that in our world, and likelihood that I would be able to achieve one of them is rather distant.

Thus, we live in a world that in many ways does not work effectively in terms of enabling us to fulfill our dreams, however, even though we are not able to individually and singlehandedly change how the current system operates, this does not mean that we are not able to change our experience of ourselves within it. The hangout I mentioned above covers the topic of how you are able to change your experience of yourself in work, and find purpose, enjoyment and satisfaction.

Past week I experimented with some of the suggestions that were given in the hangout. Hence, what I have done is that I have brought a percolator from home, some nice coffee beans, and a coffee grinder. Instead of drinking the coffee that the office provides, which does not taste good at all, I have now begun making my own coffee with freshly grounded beans. It takes longer than using the coffee machine, though, that is part of the experience. Making my own coffee like this is a way of slowing down for a moment, taking a breather, and giving myself a treat.

I have more ideas that I am planning to put into creation during the coming weeks. Among other things, I am going to decorate my room with plants, that will help to clean the air, and create a hospitable and inviting environment. I am further going to organize and clean my office, and make it optimal to suit my needs. These are small things, yet, for me to make a big difference. Because, with these small actions I am integrating myself in my environment, taking words such as care, purpose, and fulfillment, and living them practically in my life – creating my life to be MORE through making each day, and within that my work, an extension and expression of myself and not merely something I rush through in a state of dissatisfaction to be over and done with it.

This is not all. In the hangout what was also discussed is how important it is to live HERE, to embrace one’s work HERE, and not see it as merely a stepping stone to get to where we would like to be. It is easy to forget, but life does not exist in dreams about where we hope to go in our future, it is HERE. We might think that our current job offers no stimulation, no challenges, that it is a dead end, and that it will not lead us anywhere – however when we decide to approach our work from that starting point that is also what we create. The solution is to embrace where we are now, and open our eyes to the opportunities that are here. There might be some awesome colleagues that we have not pushed ourselves to get to know, because we have been so stuck in a negative experience towards work. Further, there might be projects, and other types of possibilities at work, that we have disregarded, for the same reason.

At my own office, I have discovered that there is plenty of opportunities to expand, particularly through getting involved in and starting up projects and groups that in different ways improve the working environment. An example would be taking the time to write down and share insights and experiences in relation to various work responsibilities with my colleagues, that will benefit the organization as a whole – and in that giving as I would like to receive. And this opens up another point, that to be able to have purpose and fulfillment in our lives, we must be willing to, and push ourselves to give. Because it is when we give, and we give unconditionally, that we  receive. This brings to memory a famous quote: ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country’ – and that can be changed into: ‘Ask not what your work can do for you, but what you can do for your work.

To summarize, what can be learned and taken from this hangout?

We create our lives, thus, the problem is not our environment, it is WHO WE ARE in relation to our environment. When we decide to become the best we can be to ourselves, and our current reality, then we will also experience a life filled with purpose, fulfillment and satisfaction.


Redefining Work

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Day 315: Missing Me In My Decisions

Today I had a listen to two interviews on Eqafe:

These two interviews are about points that we face when it comes to big decisions, such as deciding upon a career, where to live, or what relationship to go into. The primary experience that is discussed is the fear of making the wrong decision, where this experience comes from,  how, and why it is created.

I can now see that the one point holding me back from seeing with clarity is that I do not accept and allow myself to consider MYSELF in the decisions that I make. It is easy for me to make a decision, set a goal, and then will myself to achieve it, without asking myself, and looking within myself at what it is that I would actually want – or rather – what would be BEST for me? What would ENHANCE and EMPOWER me? What would make me BEST for and as myself?

For example, when it comes to looking at my future, I have not asked myself what direction would best fit my beingness, my way of expressing and sharing myself, and instead, I have looked at the practicalities, and the practicalities only. There is also my relationship with myself to consider, and this relationship is not based solely on what is practical, there is something more to it, and that more is WHO I AM as a being, how I genuinely express and experience my life.

I am grateful that I have been able to now see, and define from where this reaction of uncertainty arise, because it reveals a lot. I can see how this way of approaching life arise from inflexibility, ideals, ideas, and judgments towards myself, where I do not consider WHO I AM, but rather make a logical assessment in my mind of where I should go, and then start creating my life according to that. And possibly, this is also why I many times change my mind, because I am not FULLY here in what I am doing. I have not accepted and allowed myself to also look at MY relationship to the point, WHO I AM, in relationship to my life, my career, and other decisions that arise in my daily living.

There is a solution, and that is to when I look at future play-outs, and I notice the fear of making a wrong decision come up within me, that I then stop myself, take a breath, and ask myself: Who am I within this? Does this fit, enhance, support and develop me and my being? Is this where I want to go and where I see myself being and becoming the best that I can become?

Day 271: Children and Social Anxiety

Today I met a child at work. Sometimes I find myself reacting in fear/anxiety when I am faced with a child, and this was one of those times. The core fear within all of this is that the child will ‘see through’ my façade and then say something that will penetrate deeply into my very being, and upset me; basically thus, a fear of being exposed as having some form of weakness, and being bullied/attacked because of this weakness.

This fear is similar to the fear I opened up in yesterday’s blog about social anxiety and misunderstandings. The similarity lies in how both these fears comes from an interest of wanting to be liked, and a general fear of people – and what people will think about me. What I am able to see at the moment is that this fear is very limiting, and that, there is absolutely not reason for it to exist within me. Why should I be afraid of being exposed as having an emotional reaction? Why would it be a weakness to have an emotional reaction? Why should I be afraid of being teased/attacked/bullied because I have an experience come up within me in a moment? It simply makes – NO SENSE.

The question can be asked, why is it that I care so much about others and how they see me? The only answer I have to this question is because I do not value myself – somehow I have created a belief within me that I do not matter unless others say I matter – and that my self-definitions is something that must/should be controlled by others. This is not true, because why should I have less worth and value than anyone else in my world? Why is it so that I should be singled out as being of a lesser grade and sort than my peers? It is all mind illusions – fiction – created because I believe that the emotions coming up in my body are real and indicative of WHO I AM in-fact – while – it is only what I have accepted and allowed to be me – I can change – I can decide how I want to live and who I want to be.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful of being exposed by children as having some form of reaction, or experience, and being taunted, or judged by another as being weak – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of fear of showing anything that might resemble a weakness to others – in fear that they are going to expose it and use it to bully me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this is what I have done in my youth, utilized the weaknesses I saw in others to bully them and gain an advantage – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here, and see, realize and understand that I will not accept and allow myself to do that again – because I see, realize and understand that it is not acceptable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide around others because I fear being exposed as being useless and worthless – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold in experiences of emotions – and to suppress them and hold them back – and try to control them – in fear of anyone seeing them – instead of me embracing them and accepting and allowing myself to forgive them unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is not to suppress – the solution is to forgive – the solution is to let go and to accept and allow myself to flow – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath as an emotion comes up within me – not try to fight it – but instead embrace it – and then direct it – and I see, realize and understand that what I resist will persist – and thus I cannot reach any effective conclusion within myself through and as fear/resistance/anxiety/worry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold it against myself that I react in fear when interacting with children, or other people in my life, such as colleagues, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that it does not make any sense that I should exist within such a state of resentment and judgment towards myself – because it doesn’t help in anyway – what would help would be me taking a breath – and me accepting and allowing myself to get to know the experience – to recognize that the experience exists within me and that I now have to deal with the experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself – to fear being intimate with myself – to fear seeing into myself – to fear seeing what I experience and getting to know it – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be short with myself – and to not fully investigate and go deeply into myself when and as I am facing a new point within myself – and I see, realize and understand that in order to be able to transcend what is going on within me – I do require to get to know it and I do require to recognize it – and I do require to understand it – so hence – I commit myself to stop judging my experiences, and myself for having them, and I commit myself to stop suppressing them, and instead get to know my experiences

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see that I am going into a fear, or some other undefined experience, and I go into a resistance/fear/anxiety and hide/suppress myself/the experience – I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that in order to transcend this experience, I must understand it, I must recognize it, I must see it for what it is, and I must allow myself go into it – and thus I commit myself to embrace my experiences – to get to know them – and from that vantage point – move myself to transcend them – and be/remain unconditional in this decision to transcend my experiences

I commit myself to remain/stand/walk into the depths of myself without judgment – and to understand how I exist – and not judge – resist – suppress parts of myself because I believe that they indicate weaknesses – that then apparently are bad

I commit myself to when I am around children, or others for that matter, to practice being open, genuine and intimate with others, to practice standing and showing myself, and who I am here, to slightly move my chest forward, and my shoulders back, to stand with a straight back, to recognize what comes up within me, to investigate it, and become comfortable with being uncomfortable, and to not anymore try to hide myself from others in the fear that others are going to judge me

I commit myself to be open with what is going on within myself and stand fearless, with courage, to be intimate with myself – to get to know myself – and to as such – not anymore fear judgment from myself or others – because I stand with and as myself and do not anymore accept and allow myself to fear sharing/experiencing/seeing who and what I am

Day 264: Fear of Missing the Train

When I have now become a regular commuter, I have come to notice a fear of missing the train. Now this fear is interesting to observe, because it is a cool example of the irrational nature of fears. Even though I am mostly 10 to 15 minutes early, I will still have a urgency, and fear that I must get on the train as fast as possible, because apparently it will potentially leave before I have boarded. I have had this fear as far back as I can remember, and it is not only with trains, I have fears of being late to meetings, and other type of appointments as well – and because of that I am usually earlier than everyone else.

Looking more deeply into this fear, I see that the fear of being too late hides a fear of the unpredictable, because what does it represent to miss an appointed time? Usually what follows is something unpredictable, or maybe a conflict, at least, it is not something that I am able to foresee. Looking even deeper, this fear of the unpredictable also reveals still another layer: Lack of self-trust. Because why would it be that I fear the unpredictable? Due to me believing that I am not able to handle that situation, believing that I need to be prepared and already have all the information in order to effectively direct my life.

This latest point that I mentioned is also fascinating to look into, because this is a problem that I have had with regards to bigger decisions in my life. I have been fearful, and indecisive when it comes to making decision, simply because I am not sure on how it is going to play out, what is going to happen – thus – facing the unknown/the unpredictable/that which I am not able to prepare for.

My fear of missing train as such really links back to a fear of the unpredictable/fear of the unknown. This goes to show how our day-to-day lives, and our small fears of everyday things can show us something a lot more meaningful about ourselves. The solution that I see to this point is to develop a self-trust in myself even in the face of the unknown – and to when this fear of the unknown/unpredictable comes up within me – to then say to myself that no – I will not accept and allow myself to fear the unknown – I will trust myself to walk into the unknown and direct myself within it effectively – or at least allow myself to make the mistakes, learn from them, and become effective in directing and moving myself in the unknown.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that which I am not able to predict, or control, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself to direct myself in that which is unknown, and unchartered to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not develop self-trust in directing myself in that which us unknown, and unchartered territory for me – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize fear as a coping mechanism for me to not have to face the unknown and that which I am not able to control, direct, or foresee

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the only way I can become better at directing myself in the unpredictable and unknown – is through trusting myself to walk into it – and when I am in it – push myself to be stable here – and look for solutions – establish a direction for myself that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear missing my train, and become stressed, and anxious as I am going to my train, because I fear that I might miss it, and fear what might come out of that, and that I cannot control and exactly know the consequences of me missing my train, and how I am going to deal with this, if it happens in my life – hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into, and exist within and as a state of fear, and anxiety, and worry, where I believe that I will be better off, by hiding in these experiences, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that the only way to really grow is to put myself into the deep end of the pool – and learn to swim

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare myself to be more comfortable with taking the train, and with not being so early to the train, realizing that I can give myself some moments, and that there is still urgency for me to go to the train, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actively stop these thoughts of fear of missing my train

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that when this fear of missing my train comes up, to see that what I really fear is loosing control, and not having full direction on my life and where it is that I am going – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up control, and fear ending up in a situation and position where I can’t predict what will happen next – and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent upon predictability for me to be able to trust myself – and see what my next step will be – and where it is that I am going next

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable of handling the unknown, and the unpredictable, and hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself, and hold myself back in this distrust, and try to cope with this distrust through fear, and worry – where I believe that if I fear and worry – I will protect myself from consequential outflows and more effectively be able to make decisions in my life that are right and will lead me to the best outflow possible

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on fear and worry to apparently protect me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that fear and worry only makes me less capable of analyzing, and guiding myself through a moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I do not need to know exactly what is going to happen in the future for me to be able to see what the best direction for me is, and how to best deal with the situation that I am in – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not practice remaining stable and grounded here when I am faced with a moment where I don’t have control and overview – and where I am not sure what is going to happen and where my decisions will lead me

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into fear, and worry, because I am faced with a moment where I don’t have control, and the future is unpredictable, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that even though I might not specifically now where to go from here, and what is going to happen, this doesn’t have to destabilize and make me less effective, because I decide who I am – and I decide how to deal with moments that come my way – and hence I commit myself to stabilize myself using my breath – and practice remaining grounded and walking into my future even though I am not sure on what is going to happen

When and as I see myself distrusting myself, and using fear, and worry to apparently prepare myself, and make myself alert to deal with a unpredictable future, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I don’t need, nor do I require fear and worry to be effective in my life – and to stabilize myself to make effective decisions when I am not clear on the direction in my life – and hence I commit myself to stabilize myself – and move myself from moment to moment – to look for a solution and a direction in every moment – and trust myself that I will find a solution if I continue to push and do not accept and allow myself to give up