Tag Archives: writing

Day 395: The Power of Writing

How to remain self-honest and walk process, how to not get distracted and lost in the entertainment offered within the system, how to keep one’s focus and chosen direction in life even though so much time goes into working, money, and other forms of responsibilities that must be handled in order to survive?

These are questions I have been looking at recently, because in acquiring a full time job, getting access to more money and a easier, more comfortable life, it is easy to forget what is important, it is easy to forget one’s purpose, and forgetting that, so many people in this world are without their basic necessities, living in unacceptable conditions, in a system that does not cater to the needs of everyone. What I have found as a solution to this problem is WRITING – the WRITTEN word – that has become my sanity and point of grounding. When everything spins fast, sitting down by my computer, and establishing the words I want to live and stand as within my life helps a lot. In writing, I am able to reaffirm my purpose, direction, movement – I am able to remind myself of what is crucial and what I want to do with myself – because with writing – I have a moment with myself where I am able to deliberately choose my WORDS – and my words become my WORLD.

If we take a look out in the world – we are constantly bombarded with words; advertisements, newspapers, television programs, books, music, conversations with other people – there is a on going soundboard of words entering our worlds daily. Hence – it is not strange that if we ourselves do not take responsibility to design ourselves according to the words we see are best – that we will slowly but surely loose focus – start to slip – forget – become led astray – because we begin to live and integrate words that others have put out into the world – instead of sticking with our own words – that we have decided upon because we see that they are best for us.

Because of this I have decided to put in some time to write most mornings before I leave for work – I use a pen and a paper and I allow it to take time required. However, with writing, I have found that it is not the amount written that matters, it is the principle, the direction, the clarity, the intent, the decisiveness in the words. I can write for an entire day – though if I am not self-honest – it will mean nothing at all. Same is true the other way around, I can write but one sentence, however with that sentence I can change my entire day – I can make a clear decision as to who I am going to be and live that day and then apply it – and through that make a directive and supportive movement in my life.

Hence – with writing – the power lies in writing words that MATTER – writing words that come from the HEART – and then – through writing – looking for and establishing solutions that can be lived PRACTICALLY – PHYSICALLY – HERE. It is through process of placing words that matter that I have been able to support myself to remain grounded and focused on my direction – and hence it is something that I would suggest for anyone interested in supporting themselves to make and create something more with their lives – a life lived from within and as principle – and not moved from thought to thought without any plan or goal.

 


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Day 350: Writing, The Way to Fill Life With Purpose

It is not strange that many feel purposeless and lost. This tends to happen when we loose touch with the physical reality, with our genuine self-expression, and our focus becomes more and more zoned into what happens within our minds. I have noticed, for myself, that the experience of being purposeless and lost goes hand in hand with my own relationship with myself – and interestingly enough – this relationship has been very much dependent upon writing.

Some weeks ago I made a decision to write more for myself. I have usually written about once a week, though now, I decided to write once every day or once every other day. The effects of applying this decision were immediate and positive, especially with regards to how I experienced myself in relation to words such as purpose, direction and movement. Because in when moving, working and living within the system on a daily basis, it is easy to forget what matters. If we do not nourish our relationship with ourselves properly, soon enough we will begin to feel empty and lost. And that is when it is easy to believe that we need a energy to feel alive and on track – that we need some form of personal reinvention – for example – a new hobby, a new car, a new girlfriend or a new job. However it is never about what to do, experience, achieve, get, own, out there – it is always and only about ourselves.

When I started to write more regularly, I noticed that my mind became more quiet, and the experience of being without purpose that had been stirring within me for a while, it was not there anymore. I was surprised, because I initially thought that I had to establish some form of direction in relation to the world system, to direct my experience of being without purpose. That was not the case, because purpose, is not something that can be achieved out there – purpose is something that we live within and as ourselves – it is all about who we are.

Yet, why is it that writing is such a powerful tool when it comes to establishing purpose? I see it the following way. Purpose, which is a clear sense and understanding of what I am doing here and to what end, is dependent upon inner clarity, that is the ability to see ourselves and our life clearly. And writing is one of the most effective tools for establishing clarity, because when we place down words before us, and through that with awareness design our understanding/seeing of reality and ourselves, we create clarity. Seeing clearly is thus a matter of having a clear and solid vocabulary, with which we have clearly defined and made sense of the world we interact with on a daily basis.

Writing is how we investigate, expand, move and create ourselves and our lives. In placing words, we design ourselves, and that brings through clarity, which in turns enables us to live with purpose. And purpose is simply to be clear on what we are doing, live with a reason, and have a clear direction – and with writing – we are able to establish that direction – re-focus our attention on what we want to create/expand/move/direct. That is why writing is so important, and why everyone interested in finding stability and purpose in their lives should use writing daily to expand their relationship with themselves.

Day 346: Writing Our Character

Walking the process of self-creation is not at this stage mainstream behavior. It is rather the opposite – hence self-creation – and placing time and effort into self-investigation is many times looked as a dubious, strange and unnecessary activity. And many groups that form around interests such as self-introspection and self-creation are unfortunately termed cults, and are subject to slander and public defamation. Thus, this world, and most relationships in it, does not at this stage support the PROCESS of birthing life from the physical. However, we cannot allow that to stand in our way. And thus it is important to find ways to integrate points of support for self throughout our days, where we give ourselves time to devote ourselves to our process.

Writing is a great way to solidify the process of self-creation, and if it can be done a couple of days a week, it will assist and support a lot in grounding process into one’s everyday life. Writing a blog for example, is a way of stating WHO I AM – it is a opportunity to expand and move – and to open what is going on under the surface – and specifying where more work must be put in. And because we live in a system, where most of the time such a process of expansion is not supported, it makes it very important to take time write.

When we write, we select words, we specify, describe, and paint a picture, and it is through this process of selection and placing, that we form and shape our character – the WORDS we are going to live as ourselves. If we do not write, then what is then going to shape our lives? The thoughts that arise in our minds, the backchat, emotions, and feelings, and other automatic experiences that we do not even know where they come from, that is going to be what forms our character. And the big, big problem here is that we cannot trust what comes up within ourselves as emotions and feelings. Most of the times it is complete bullshit – and it is thus no wonder that humanity is having difficulties expanding – considering that we are not taking the time to sit down, consider, reflect, and create using words that honor life.

Self-creation is all about words, it is all about making decisions as to what expressions/experiences we will accept and allow within ourselves. Thus, what I have found is that, if we are not actively expanding, refining, and moving ourselves, as our vocabulary, we will diminish, and that experience is going to come through as a sense of being down, depressed, and bored. The mistake most of us make when we reach that stage is that we blame our reality, or the people within it, thinking that it is their fault that we are not expanding. However, it is never about our external environment – it is about WHO WE ARE – and HOW we MOVE.

Usually, we find ourselves in a small world, that is defined by routines, and responsibilities. We do the same thing day out and day in, because that is how survival works. Though, that must not become an excuse for us to not create ourselves, because within walking the process of self-creation, one thing is clear, there will always be opportunities for expansion – IF – we are open and receptive to them – and IF we are on our toes – ready to JUMP at them when they appear. Being consistent with writing assists and supports with finding these opportunities.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy, in the sense that I wait for my life to expand, instead of me actively moving myself to expand, through finding opportunities, finding weaknesses to strengthen and strengths to make even stronger, to thus be a active part in my life and create myself utilizing the time given to me every day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for me to expand, instead of actively walking that process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be open and receptive to the opportunities that are here in my life – to not be open and receptive to the various things and processes that can be walked – where I am still accepting and allowing myself to remain in some sort of limitation – and where I am thus able to improve myself – empower myself – strengthen myself – and expand my process of self-creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that consistently writing, assists and supports me in my process of self-creation – it assists and supports me to find my weak spots – to find where I still have to improve – to find the opportunities that are and have always been HERE – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to make self-creation a priority in my life and something that I push everyday

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that to move forward in my process of self-creation, I must, myself, find the points where I am able to move forward, and thus in a way, CREATE my own processes, as I see, realize and understand, that this is what self-creation implies in its very essence – that I build and move something from scratch into and as a point of completion – thus I must make the initial schematics – and I must then place and initiate them into self-creation – and there will never be someone or something coming into my life that creates and makes this for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my process to unfold instead of creating it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for my life to unfold – instead of creating it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait instead of creating

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself feeling limited, bored, depressed, down or contained, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that usually, I feel like this, because I am not actively moving myself in my reality to create myself, my process, my life, my direction, my future – and thus I see, realize and understand that this is a sign – that I require to spark things up – move myself – take on a point of creation – and thus I look within myself in that moment if there is a point of creation I can practice THEN and THERE – and then I commit myself to practice and live that point of creation that I see I am able to push and create within me

 

Day 125: Communication, or the Lack Thereof

Today a situation occurred which was a outflow of primarily two points: ineffective communication and an ineffective definition and living of the word responsibility.

miscommunicationTo give the general outline of the situation, it was as follows: I have taken on a particular responsibility wherein I have pledged to assist and support with a particular point. Walking this point I have come to see that there isn’t that much to do, meaning, there was no need for what I had pledged to assist and support with. I discussed this with the beings involved, and we came to some sorts of agreement to spend less time on the point, because there wasn’t much if anything at all to be done. Thus, here I see the first issue – there was no clear cut agreement made as to how to direct this particular point – there was a vague agreement but no clear understanding between all participants; such a opaqueness is bound to create conflicts.

In deciding to spend less time on this particular point, there was a couple of points I didn’t take into consideration, one of these points was that as a part of the commitment, I had to be located at a particular place, at a particular time, in order to answer a phone – because the phone had not been ringing I simply disregarded and within that didn’t look at how we particular commitment I had walked into involved answering and taking responsibility for the phone-activity. Thus, here I see that I compromised in regards to responsibility – as I didn’t take full responsibility of my decisions, to see all potential outflows and effects of my decisions, and instead disregarded the phone point and opted to stick with my decision to spend less time on the point.

I am able to see that the reason there was no clear cut communication to begin with, was partly because of how I approached the point – I didn’t see myself as fully responsible – and instead I projected the responsibility of the point unto another participant in the group, and sort of made him “the responsible one” – this as well is a fascinating outflow of ineffective communication – who is really taking responsibility for this point? Regardless, it all comes down to responsibility, because if I had been taking self-responsibility, I would have clarified who is responsible for what, and what is my specific role in this point? What am I expected to do and not do? I mean, I didn’t take the communication to that final point – and I in that I didn’t clarify for myself my starting point in regards to taking on the commitment – and in that clarifying – Who I am in regards to this particular point.

What I have realized thus, is the importance of clear communication, the importance of being aware of the context, and the importance of clarifying any vagueness and obscure situation – so that I know who I am – what I am to do – what others are to do and not to do – that is the solution to end conflict and make participation between human beings effective and rewarding.

I see that I am able to practice this, through when I walk points in my world, make commitments, and collaborate with others, that I ask myself, what is my point here? What is it that I am walking? What is my responsibility? And is there something not clear to me? And in this make sure that when I make a decision for myself as well as with others – that it is CLEAR – unambiguous – leaving no room for interpretation – it is done.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unclear and not specific in my communication and direction in life, and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions without really deciding, to communicate without really communicating, to participate without really participating – because I am not HERE – presentaware and specific in what I am doing – realizing that I am responsible for the outflow of this particular situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequences in my life through not being specific with communication and making clear agreements with others in my life where I know where I stand – and I know where the other person stands – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that things are “just going to work” – and that things will “sort themselves out” – instead of seeing, realizing and understand that unless I make something work – unless I decide to be specific – diligent – and put effort into every moment of participation – then I am going to face consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be specific in my communication with myself – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions without being clear – to move myself without being directive and understand what I am doing and why I am doing it – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live from within and as the assumption that things will just work out – instead of realizing that nothing just works out because I will have to make it work – I must direct the point into and as specificity – and into and as being effective – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take that responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility within myself – and make sure that every in my life – is a moment that I dedicate towards making the best of my life – and live this principle through being clear in my communication and aware and present – and direct points when something is not clear – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that others are to direct points that are not clear – that others are to become more effective in their communication and that it is not a problem for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how this entire situation developed through me not having a clear definition and understand of “who I am” in relation to the point – and this was a consequence of me not effectively clarifying my position and agreement with others through communication – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand – that the key to being “in control” of my life – is to be an effective communicator – and within this understand where I am going, understand what requires to be said, and understand that unless a point is directed through effective communication – it will not be directed at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that others are to direct situations for me – and that others are to clarify and make decisions for me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my life – for all aspects and dimensions of my life – and within this see, realize and understand that – there is no one else that is going to do it for me – and unless I make this decision and decide to take responsibility for all points – and direct all points in my life – then I am going to face consequences – which is obviously completely and totally unnecessary – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the solution is to stand up and make the decision to take responsibility – and do so regardless of whether others walk the point or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not being effective at communicating and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not being clear in their communication and thus apparently causing conflicts for me – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the solution is not to blame others – but for me to stand up in my own life and take responsibility and ensure that my communication is effective – to ensure that there are clear and effective agreements so that no assumptions can grow – and no interpretations can be made – because there is a clear understanding – a clear and effective way forward as a structure that uphold the particular relationship that is being walked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for others to become more specific and clear in their communication and use this as an excuse for why I am not pushing myself to become more effective and clear with my communication – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am limiting myself through waiting on others – and that I can wait forever – and that nothing will change – which doesn’t make sense because my life becomes filled with consequence when I wait with changing instead of changing immediately – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to be more aware of my communication, to be more aware of who I am, where I am, and what my points are in regards to what I am walking in my life – so that I am as such specific and exact in all the points that I have taken on – and that I walk my life certain of myself – because I am clear in my communication with myself as will as with my communication with others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the obvious common sense in all of this is that I will benefit from becoming more effective in communication – and others in my world will benefit from me becoming more effective in communication – and thus there is absolutely no reason for me to wait, and blame others – it just doesn’t make sense – and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not assist and support myself – and push my communication skills to be the best that they can possibly be

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I am not communicating effectively, and that I am involved in a point where I don’t have clarity and there is no clear agreement, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that without clarity there can’t be effective collaboration, and without clear agreement there will be conflict – and as such I commit myself to in that direct myself to create and establish clear agreements – so that I know my place in the structure – and I am clear on what I am doing and how I am doing it – because I have defined for myself in clear unambiguous words – my starting point – my who I am

When and as I see that I want to make a decision, but I am not clear, not stable, and not certain in regards to this decision, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that it’s pointless to make decisions when I am not stable and clear, because the decision will not be a decision but only a form of suppression resulting in an eventual conflict, and then later on I will have to deal with the point yet again, and as such I commit myself to walk the necessary effort and that extra mile – in order to ensure that when I make a decision – I am clear – I have dealt with the reactions and the experiences – I have my structure before in the form of words – I know what I am doing – and how I am going to do it – and then I walk; thus – words first as the structure – then the decision as walking the structure

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Day 40: Continuing With Nervousness

Today I listened to the interview “Finalising Nervousness Support” – and the point that hit home with me was the nervousness is most-often caused by lack of preparation.

stressThis made me consider a few points in relation to my studies – because as I’ve shared in this blog I’ve experienced much nervousness in relation to walking my exams, and writing the final test – and this nervousness did occur this time around as well. So – when I began to considered the point that nervousness is very much related to one’s level of preparation – I realized that one dimension of my nervousness in relation to my exams might have to do with a problem with my vocabulary – and that the reason I do experience nervousness in relation to my exams is because it’s me actually showing myself that I’ve not integrated the vocabulary of the course effectively, with clarity, and specificity.

As I looked on this point – I utilized some memories from the past of when I’ve written my exam before, because by now I’ve written the term-exam 5 times already – and I compared my various study techniques, and then also looked at my experience of nervousness in relation to then at a later stage writing the exam. What I could see was that when I’d utilized the study technique of writing the information down – that was the exam that I’d experienced myself the least nervous, and also the exam on which I’d received the best results – fascinating!

This “finding” so to speak also correlates with what I’ve recently learned about “the natural learning ability” of the human being – and how we as human beings integrate information the most effectively. Writing information down is one of these physical practical points that give’s the physical body a opportunity to work with the information for real – and which also establish a more effective output – because in only reading information what one do is that one establish an ineffective input. So – I will cross-reference these points during my next term, and accordingly spend much more time writing information than I’ve done before – to see what the effect of this will be, and whether this will allow me to integrate the information more effectively.

Okay – that was what I had to share about my findings in relation to the natural learning ability, vocabulary effectiveness, and it’s influence on my experience of nervousness – though this is not the only dimension that affects my experience of nervousness. There are three words that I see play a role in my nervousness-experience – these are “unknown”, “unexpected”, “unplanned” – and these points are also much related to the experience of stress – which there is a cool interview about that you can hear here. So – in essence I will dedicate my self-forgiveness in this blog towards investigating my relationship towards these three words, and also apply commitment statements – as to how to correct my relationship with these words so that I can study in the stability, and silence of breath – and do my exams in the stability and silence of breath – with no movement within me what-so-ever.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a fear of the unknown, a fear of that which I can’t control, and can’t foresee – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into nervousness, and stress when and as I don’t have a complete control over my reality – and I do not know exactly what is going to happen in the next moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that if I do not have complete control, complete mastery over my physical reality – and that I can foresee everything that will happen in my world – that I am vulnerable to destruction, and annihilation – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my fear of the unknown, my fear of the unexpected, and my fear of the unplanned – through thinking that I am protecting myself by holding unto this fear – and that this fear helps me to be effective in living – while really – the opposite is true – because what I fear I create – which is so because in living as fear – I am not seeing, and utilizing common sense in my direct movement here – and thus the likelihood of me creating compromising situations, and moments for myself is much greater

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a fear, and anxiety towards letting go of control – and trusting myself – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate control to self-trust – not realizing the self-trust is not dependent upon control – because self-trust stands regardless of external stimuli movements – as self-trust is a point that is developed, and created by self – and as such not dependent upon a particular external point to move, or exist in a particular way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear, anxiety, and nervousness towards not being able to foresee whether my life will be “happy” or filled with struggles, and strife’s – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify holding unto control, and stress – and nervousness – in thinking, and believing that this increases my likelihood of experiencing a “happy” life – not seeing the simple common sense – that living within anxiety, stress, and nervous I can’t ever be in anyway “happy” – as I will constantly exist in a worry, and state of fear – that something is going to occur and happen that I do not have any form of control over

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being powerless, and unable to impose change on my life, and reality – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify holding unto stress, and nervousness – thinking that when I hold unto these experiences I will at least be able to protect myself from having a situation manifest wherein I am powerless, or unable to change my reality – not realizing that stress, and nervousness are mental experiences and not a physical practical and useable skill that assists me in moving myself effectively in my life – and thus completely irrational experiences that do not help to assure my physical well-being in this world, and reality what-so-ever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that the reason I fear loosing power, and loosing control – is because I’ve not allowed myself to create these words as living words of and as myself – but that I’ve allowed myself to define these words as my ability to manipulate, and control my exterior reality – not realizing that this is not power, and this is not control – it’s merely a form of physical movement bound by the laws of the physical reality – but not a actual power, and a actual control – because all the time – regardless of how “powerful” I might consider myself to be – I will always be subject to the laws of the physical world and reality – and as such I understand that real control, and real power – can only be real and actual when I stand as those points within and as me as a living expression of me – as a living statement of who I am in each and every breath – wherein I decide what and who I am – and what principle I stand and live by

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that when I stand certain in who I am – certain in what I am – certain in why I am – there can’t be any nervousness, or stress – because these points are in essence based upon fear of death – as the fear of loosing all form of control over this external reality – and this fear can’t exist when I stand within me in such a stability, and depth of silence – that I understand that who I am can’t be moved, touched, or defined by death – as I stand as the power within me that in all-ways decide who I am – and within this that I create who I am – thus creating life from nothing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the experiences of stress, and nervousness – allowing myself to go into and as a state of preparation – as trying to avoid a disastrous event from taking place – and through these experiences attempting and trying to control my reality; and within this I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand the simplicity of physically controlling my exterior reality as a point of self-movement – and even though I am not able to have full control – I am able to have somewhat effective control and create this control without any form of experience such as stress, or nervous – because physically directing, and moving my reality is not about mental experiences – it’s about my effectiveness of communication – my effectiveness of physical movement – my effectiveness in social interaction with others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how stress, and nervousness literally are illusions – because – they do not produce anything of benefit – they do not assist me in stabilizing my life, and my daily living – they do not assist me in actually walking through my exams – they do not assist me in actually making sure that I have money, and financial stability – they do not in-fact do anything but exist within me as a experience – that in essence only serve to disturb me, and take my focus away from living, and moving myself in my day-to-day life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the points of unexpectedness, unplanned events, and the unknown – realizing, and understand that I will never be able to have complete control over this reality – as such it’s completely unnecessary to create experiences of stress, and nervousness because I do not have that control – I mean – it’s impossible to have such a control so why continue to fight reality? As such I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to align myself with the actual functioning of this physical world and reality – and stop fighting it – stop resisting it – and stop trying to change it to match my inner belief, and hope of what I’d like this reality to be like

Self-commitments

When and as I see that I go into and as a state of stress, and nervousness – because I see that I am approaching uncharted territory – and I can’t be completely sure on the outcome of what I am taking on and walking; I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – there is no reason to fear uncharted territory – I mean sure – there might come an event that is painful, uncomfortable, or even an event that leads to my death – but – that is the nature of this reality – and it’s completely stupid to fear the nature of this reality as what is here – because it doesn’t help, it doesn’t assist, and it doesn’t change this reality; as such I commit myself to embrace the functioning and movement of this reality – and work with what is here – and practically train, and practice moving myself in such a way in this reality – that I am able to avoid and direct potentially harmful, or uncomfortable experiences, and events – as such – stopping myself from relying upon fear, nervousness, and stress – and instead relying upon common sense deduction

When and as I see that I go into a state of nervousness, because I don’t know how to be, or how to move, or how to direct myself in a given situation – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – me experiencing nervousness does not assist, and support me to walk, and direct the situation – I mean – it would be far more effective for me to stop for a while – observe the situation – and develop solutions – solutions are far more effective in having actual physical positive results than nervousness; as such I commit myself to instead of going into nervousness when I face the unknown – to make the unknown known – and develop solution for me to direct, and effectively move myself within that which is now known

When and as I see that I go into stress – as fearing that I will run unto an unplanned, and unexpected event – and that I will not be able to deal with this event – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that – stress merely serves to make me blind to what is here – not see what is here – and not be able to effectively process what is here – stress is like a energetic blindfold that I take on thinking that it will help me to navigate my reality – obviously that isn’t so; as such I commit myself to face the unexpected, to face the unplanned – with a straight back – and effective breathing – realizing that the only way to effectively live in this life is to live physically – breath by breath – walking actual practical solution instead of going into my mind as energetic experiences of positive, or negative

When and as I see that I am going into and as a fear of not being in control, and not having power over my world – I immediately stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize, and understand that power, and control over this world is in essence an illusion – something that isn’t real – but merely real in my mind; as such I commit myself to live real power, and real control – which are points that I live AS ME – as me living the decision in every moment that I am life as all as one as equal – and that the principle which I stand by – and make my decisions by is what is best for all – and giving to another as I’d like to receive

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I Want Everyone To Like Me!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a character of fear, and anxiety when I start school – as fearing to meet new people – as fearing to make myself look inadequate and stupid in-front of new people – worrying that my reputation, and how others talk about me might become negative – instead of accepting and allowing myself to let go of all fears, and express myself here as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and fear that I am not being seen enough, and by a sufficient amount of people – and that I as such will be forgotten, and not be popular – but be one of those people that nobody see – and nobody know – existing within and as a character of being a socialite – wherein I want to know that others know about me – in fear that unless others know about me I will be useless – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about how others see me, or interpret me – and instead live HERE one and equal as my human physical body – and see, realize and understand that when I exist up there in my head in worry and fear – I am missing out on precious breathing moments here with myself – as physical moments of interaction here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as worry, and fear of introducing myself to other people – and exist within and as fear and fear – then when I meet other people that they will instantly dislike me, and decide that they do not want to be with me – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop worrying about how I am perceived in social contexts – and instead accept and allow myself to move myself here with breath – to participate without thoughts – with self-interest – as defining me as someone that apparently needs a certain social setting to be comfortable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live and apply myself as the self-independence and self-reliance that I’ve observed in cats – as cats have the ability to move from one environment to the other – and interact with new beings – without the slightest worry and fear that they will be disliked by the beings with which they participate – as the are totally self-reliant, and live self-independence here – not requiring or needing any form of validation or comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I meet new people, and find myself in situations of interacting/speaking with other human beings – to go into and as the fear that I will not be accepted – and start to think about what value and worth I have in relation to other human beings – and where I am placed within and as the “social hierarchy” that I’ve made up in my mind – not seeing, realizing and understanding that all of my experience – all of my ideas are not real – they are merely interpretations that I’ve superimposed unto this physical reality – instead of living and applying myself here – ONE and EQUAL as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk myself as a fake-face – as accepting and allowing myself to speak in a fake voice – to speak as being fake interested in others – to speak as being fake excited, or worried – or annoyed with certain points in my world – only in order to get into a group, and get to be recognized by others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop when I see that I am speaking and interacting from within and as a starting point of wanting to be accepted and validated by a group of people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the technique of complaining – and gossiping about certain points in my world, and reality – in order to create relationships with other beings – so that I will not feel alone, and left-out – instead of bringing myself back here to this physical reality – and walking myself one and equal as the physical – seeing, realizing and understanding that I can’t ever be secluded – or left-out – as I am here as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others that express themselves more lively, and fearless than me – and think that such people are better than me – and possess a quality that make them better than me – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop comparing myself with others, and instead focus upon discovering myself as a physical being HERE – stop worrying about how I am perceived and whether I am good, or not good – and instead walk, and apply myself HERE as the physical one and equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make interacting, and participating with other human beings into a energy-game where I will attempt and try to gain the attention and recognition of others – and wherein I will try and attempt to be seen, and validated by others – wherein I will compromise and suppress myself in order to be seen as normal, and as fun to be with and around – instead of accepting and allowing myself to stop compromising myself – stop thinking that I have to fit in – stop thinking that there is something wrong with me when I am not able to speak, and communicate about the same points as everyone else – and instead of attempting and trying to be like others – to instead accept and allow myself to be like – and get to know myself as a physical being here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried that I will be forgotten by others – and that I will be rejected by others – and to try and attempt to stop this from happening – compromise and suppress myself – wherein I will speak, and move myself from within and as a starting point of fear – and anxiety – and inferiority – and worry – as fearing that I will one day be alone and without any company – instead of accepting and allowing myself to accept myself as all-one – to accept the fact that I am not like everyone else – as I am here – walking breath – as ME – as a individual – and that as such – it’s nothing strange, or weird, or bad – that I won’t be able to create a relationship with each individual in my world – as I simply do not fit – exist within and as the same position as others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that there is something wrong with me unless I am able to communicate with, and entertain – and create a relationship with every being that is in my world – instead of seeing, realizing and understanding – that there is nothing bad – there is nothing wrong – it’s simply that there is no point of common interest, or connection – and that this is nothing bad, or wrong – and that I don’t have to force myself to communicate with such a being – but that I can simply let it go and remain here as breath – and walk self-honesty in every moment

I commit myself to walk self-honesty – and as such not try and attempt to force myself to communicate and create relationships with beings that I do not share any common interest – or point of connection with – and as such I commit myself to breath and participate within and as the interactions that emerge here naturally as me

I commit myself to walk self-honesty – as not emulating myself to fit into – and mold myself to become accepted by others – but instead walk here as a real being and as such form real relationships – with beings that I share points of interest with – or that I am simply able to speak, and share myself with as myself – as the real me – wherein I don’t have to emulate, or change myself – or speak about things that I really do not care about – only in order to hold unto a idea of a relationship with another being

I commit myself to form relationships with others HERE as myself as breath – wherein I as such commit myself to live REAL to be REAL – and to walk myself as REAL here – and as such communicate for real – as breath – as not preparing myself to speak – as not looking in myself what I can speak with another about – but accepting and allowing myself to flow, and interact fluidly here

I commit myself to when I notice that I go into the fear of not being accepted – the fear of not having sufficient with relationships – the fear of not being liked – that I immediately stop myself, take a deep breath and bring myself back here to the physical – and that I instead walk myself HERE as a physical being – and that I appreciate myself here – that I am grateful for myself here – and that I enjoy myself here – whether I am all-one – or I interacting with others

I commit myself to remain the same – constant – yesterday, today and tomorrow – whether I speak, and interact with others – or whether I am by myself in my apartment – or whether I am out walking on the town; and as such I commit myself to stop looking for something more – to stop believing that I am insufficient and that I require to form relationships to grow myself – and I instead commit myself to participate with other from a starting point of: “I am satisfied with myself here and I don’t require another to give me comfort, and surety – as I am here

I commit myself to stop attempting, and trying to force relationships in my world – to force myself to speak, and interact – and as I notice that I do so – to immediately stop myself, take a deep breath and bring myself back here – and walk myself as breath as the physical – enjoying myself HERE – appreciating myself HERE – and being satisfied with myself HERE

2012 Redefining words I

Ecstasy

Ecstasy is not a feeling, and it’s not an experience – it’s a expression. To express me as ecstasy means that I accept and allow myself to let go fully, and within and as breath – as presence of myself here as the physical – allow myself to burst out into a uninhabited and spontaneous expression and movement. It’s me accepting and allowing myself to move and direct myself within and as self-enjoyment, as me enjoying the limitlessness of expressing myself physically – as I can sing, dance, move my hands, touch, and really interact with the physical, and simply – in a moment of complete letting go – accept and allow myself to fully experience myself as the physical – expressing myself.

Interaction

Interaction is me moving myself in every moment in awareness of what is here – and as I touch I am interacting with the physical – as I breath I am interacting with the air – and as I use my eyes to navigate myself in my environment I am interacting with the pictures that I see – interaction is me accepting and allowing myself to participate and take part in what is here; and not only with humans – but with everything that is here – and as such interaction isn’t limited to only being with people, or animals – but it’s me expressing myself in awareness of myself as the physical – here.

Communication

Communication is me learning about what is here – understanding what is here – and participating with what is here in such a way that I am able to through sharing myself – and through listening – direct myself effectively and make informed decisions.

Communication is also me listening and sharing myself simply due to the enjoyment of me sharing and listening – it’s me accepting and allowing myself to experience another’s life as the words that they speak – and it’s me accepting and allowing myself to share myself with others through the words that I speak.

Communication isn’t only the words that I speak – communication is how I use my body – how I use my face – how I communicate as a whole here – accepting and allowing myself to truly express myself fully here as the entirety of me – as I speak – and as I share myself.

Communication is only communication when the starting point is clear – when the starting point is breath – here – as what is best for all – when the starting point is of mind as reaction no communication can ever take place – as then it’ll only be me reacting and responding to my own inner delusions – and no communion – as a common union – does in-fact take place. For a common union to take place self must be here – in-fact in union as standing here as the physical – and not separated and isolated in the mind.

Attentive

Living attentive is to make sure that one is here in every breath – fully – and not having parts of self exist as thoughts and back chat that remove self’s attention from what is here.

Being attentive is to give oneself to every moment no matter what one do in that moment completely – it’s to be devoted to the simplicity of life; and when one walk – one walk – and when one speak – one speak – moving self here in every breath as being aware of the specificity of self.

Attentive is also to care about what one do, and how one do it – care about how one is writing a paper, or writing a article – or cleaning the house – or showering – it’s to be aware of what’s really going on here and give to one’s best capability.

Appreciation

Appreciation is me appreciating myself, as me enjoying myself – it’s me seeing that I am here – that I am breath and that I am here as the physical – and it’s me appreciating the expression of myself as the physical purely due to the fact that the physical is in-fact real – here – and I can experience the physical as myself.

Appreciation is me accepting and allowing myself to see that something, or someone, or myself is actually really cool – and that I am really grateful to be able to share a moment with this object or thing – or myself – and then I accept and allow myself to do so and actually appreciate what is here – to let go and but enjoy the moment that is unfolding

Appreciation is also me appreciating life – being appreciative of life – as all the various manifestations that support myself to live each day – as all the various expressions that each day show me how to in-fact be here as life – the animals, nature, and earth; but it’s also the people that show me how live words I haven’t yet found out how to live.

Self-confidence

Self-confidence is me being able to approach each situation and moment within the realization that I am able to deal with, and direct anything that comes in my way – it’s me trusting myself, and expressing this trust as myself to communicate – to participate – to direct – to move myself in reality and get to know reality.

Self-confidence is me being able to stand in the midst of a group – and even though everyone hates me – I still remain the same – I remain breathing – I remain having my back straight – I remain in-fact trusting myself as confidence is me placing the trust into myself and as such me enabling myself to become powerful – as in me being able to move through my reality as I’d like – or see required – without any fear, self-judgment, anxiety – or other mind bullcrap.

Self-direction

Self-direction is me in awareness of what is here in this moment – deciding how to move myself – not because I feel like moving myself – not because I have an experience towards moving myself – but because I see through placing 1+1 together – that my movement is of practical necessity – or simply that I see that I will enjoy such a practical action – self-direction is me keeping it practical – keeping it physical – pushing myself through any sort of experience, resistance towards acting and also pushing myself through any sort of addiction and desire for a experience – and instead creating myself to be self-directed – self-willed – self-motivated here.

Self-will

Self- will is me in every moment asserting myself here to stop my mind – it’s me in every moment asserting myself to move by and through considerations of practicality instead of energy – self-will is me getting out of bed in the morning when I am waking up – self-will is me not accepting and allowing myself to procrastinate and wait when there is something important that I have to do, or something that I have to do.

Self-will is me pushing through my accepted patterns and behaviors and in-fact changing myself to become a new human being – a new-born man that is living in a manner that is self-directed – and self-willed.

Self-will is when my will is not dependent upon anything outside of me – it’s not dependent upon a certain and particular outcome – it’s not dependent upon a certain particular experience – it’s self-will – not just will – but self-will. Thus self-will is me enabling myself to stand in-fact free to decide – and free to move myself – as I am not anymore dependent upon anything to move me – I move myself and I direct myself.

Self-seeing

Self-seeing is me seeing without thinking ­– it’s me seeing the actual reality of what is here and not what I hope should be here – not what I fear will be here – not what I think could be here – but what is in-fact here as this practical physical reality – to see what is here I apply myself as breath – I move and stand one and equal as the physical to as such make it impossible for any thought or interpretation to exist within me – and as such I see reality here – I see myself.