Day 426: The Spy

I am in the midst of watching a new series on Netflix called ‘The Spy’ starring Sacha Baron Cohen in the lead as Eli Cohen. The latter is based on person that have existed for real and that was one of Israel’s most successful spies. In the series we get to follow Eli Cohen has he goes through some nerve-wrecking encounters with death.

The series effectively transmits the experience of constantly being in danger of exposure that is part of the espionage trade. And being caught spying has always been treated with some of the most severe punishments available. Not only that – being caught spying also implies that your entire social network will turn against you in a moments notice. All of the relationships you have built up with your spy persona will crumble and you will be all alone in a foreign country. And that is a constant fear for the spy – because he knows he is different – he carries a enormous consequential secret that he cannot share with anyone – because if he does – he will be punished.

It is this experience of anxiety that has been the biggest takeaway for me – and it has opened up some aspects of how I function. For example – to me it is important to be honest and genuine. It is also important to have harmonic relationships and thus I will seldom do things to risk my relationships – mostly because of anxiety. And by watching this series I have been able to face some of that anxiety and understand it better. The thing about Eli Cohen is that he does not care about what others think about him. He is completely certain in himself and in his mission. He does not care about losing his relationships. He only cares about completing what he set out to do. And even though that is a limiting and destructive way to see things, when taken to the absolute as Eli Cohen do, it is something that I am able to learn from. Because with me, I care too much about how others see me, and too much about having balance and harmony in my relationships.

If there is something I want to practice and push in my life it is to be less moved by what others might think about me. I want to make my own decisions and live my life with my own self-honesty as my guide and not be moved by what others think is right or wrong – or by the emotional outbursts of others. When I am afraid of what others think about me – I end up living the life of someone else. And what is the point of that?


 

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Day 425: Rewarding Relationships

Relationships are hard work and that is why they are so rewarding. There is no thing you can buy that can create the same sense of fulfillment, intimacy and meaning. We can search for it in consumerism and money – and for a moment – when we buy something new – we might feel like we are on the top of the world. Though it is just that shock of adrenaline pouring through your veins – and when the drug is used up – the same feeling of melancholic emptiness will resurface.

Relationships on the other hand, when nurtured, will support you to develop a deep feeling of gratitude and warmth. It will support and challenge you to expand yourself, to learn, to develop your communication skills, your skills in handling conflict, and more. Hence – at the same time as it can occasionally be tough – it will bring rewards. For example, the reward of seeing your child grow and develop into a self-willed and loving individual. Or the reward of seeing the relationship with your partner take on new depths of intimacy. The more you push, the more you invest, the more you move beyond your resistances, the more you will get back.

It is unfortunate when relationships are scrapped in difficult times even though there is still potential left to be discovered. However because we take the situations personally, because we react and blame, it seems rational to call it quits. The way we handle relationships in such difficult times is similar to how we as a society handle things that break down. We throw it away and buy a new one. This is how it works in a throw-away society. We believe that everything can be replaced, easily, and that it is the right way to go, when things do not work. And similarly to how we are less in touch with the things we own (not many can for example repair a car these days) – we are also less in touch with the people in our lives. Our sense dependency towards one another has disappeared and have been replaced with the opportunity to buy something new.

The way I see it – we would all be happier and more content if we would start creating deep and meaningful relationships beyond the throw-away mentality. And in-fact – not only doing so with our people-relationships – but with the relationship we have with our animals, our things, our food and interests – all of our life in-fact. If we all would have depth – we would not feel so disconnected and disassociated – because we are part of a whole. We are not alone. That sense of being alone that is created in a society ruled by money, where seemingly there is no dependencies, that is false. The creation of our current consumerist system has made it more difficult to see how we are all connected and dependent on each-other – though underneath the surface – the dependency is there. And even though we might not anymore be dependent on our immediate neighbor – all of us on planet Earth shares the same destiny.

There are many new and interesting developments in the world where I see this urge to have depth and meaning flourishing into various kinds of events. For example, it has become popular to grow your own vegetables, to buy second hand clothes, and to buy food that is produced ethically. We do this because we want to get in touch with what is real and experience the fulfillment of having, caring for and investing ourselves into our relationships. The entire package – not only the experience of buying, owning and using.

I myself have for some time been growing vegetables. And it has helped me to see and appreciate the value in food and the effort it takes to produce it. When I buy my groceries in the store, it is impossible to see the process behind every product, and hence it becomes easier to take it all for granted. And I have walked a similar process with relationships to understand why depth and intimacy is not something that can be created in an instance – but that it requires effort and time to build.


Day 424: Big Changes In Small Steps

There is this notion that change must imply something big, massive – one decisive revolution – one impactful movement that puts everything on the line. What I have noticed within myself is that  this belief about how change takes place often has discouraged me from pushing to make the apparently insignificant changes in my life. When I have considered changing these aspects, or contributing to society in a small way, by for example engaging in a political group, I have thought that there is no use – it will only bring about so little – there is simply no meaning to it – hence I will not do anything at all.

This kind of thinking shows us two belief systems. One of them is that we alone are too small and insignificant to make any kind of lasting impact in the world. The other is that what we do and how we live in our day-to-day life does not matter – and that we have to become president, famous, a star, to have any form of influence. The result of living out these belief systems is that we do not do anything at all – and that we do not push for the small improvements in our life – because we believe them to be of no worth. We do not even push ourselves to correct our immediate relationships – because what is the use? It will not create any lasting change anyway.

And it is interesting as well to observe how people that have lived so called successful and influential life’s, many times have had massive issues in their private relationships. They have only been able to live their passion to improve and expand outwardly into the system, and not been able to share this process with their close ones. And many times the personal hell they created not only for themselves but also for those around them caused deep ripples. Hence – it is important to remember that all types of change for the better are important – not only those happening out in the world system.

The key is to stop valuing and comparing the movement to improve, to empower and to change. We have to understand that each and every step forward that is taken is needed no matter how small it was. And that the interesting thing about change is that it takes place in the small, in the parts that are barely noticeable, and then one day, the small parts have together formed so much momentum, that what seems to be a big and overwhelming change takes place over night. However what has been missed are the small, apparently insignificant actions, that brought about that shift. And this can unfortunately go both ways. We are also able to accumulate acts that are negative and that diminish us – and then after a while – we notice the destructive end result without being able to see how we got into such a bad situation. This is the magic of accumulation in the small.

The same principle of accumulation can be found in how what we think will eventually influence what we speak, and that what we speak will eventually influence how we act, and that our actions will eventually become our habits and our general character. In when we are at the end of such a process – it seems as if it has always been that way. For example – we have apparently always been lazy and there is now nothing we can do about it because it is such a big and general characteristic to change. However creating that laziness was a process that initially started in the small, in the minuscule, in the barely noticeable, with apparently innocent acceptances and allowances, that then got bigger, bigger and bigger.

Hence – anyone that feels that change – whether in the system or personally – is too much – and because of that does not do anything – remember that change takes place in the small and manageable. Change takes place in our sphere of influence – and unless we are HERE – PRESENT – and WILLING to act we will miss our moments of opportunity – because you will have opportunities – every day to take the path you desire for yourself, your fellow man and our common future.


Day 423: Changing our Patterns, Changing our Future

Some days ago I was hanging out with my daughter, she is close to two and a half years old at the moment. I could see the kind of person she is developing into – and it made me proud. I really enjoy seeing her expand – and I realized one thing: that this growth is not an accident – it is the result of my partner and I spending time and sharing the best of ourselves with her. Two and a half years might sound like a short time, though for a child, there is an amazing development. From being a piece of flesh, my daughter can now speak, do basic reasoning, create and maintain relationships, and share her likes and dislikes. In that moment I could see the result of our efforts – and it yet again brought forth the understanding within me that change/movement/creation comes through in the small moments accumulated over time.

It is easy to forget the power of accumulation and instead start to believe/think that there is more power in taking great strides. Small actions, when executed, feels easier, less impactful, and without as much meaning as putting in long hours of work into something. However, when that small action is done over and over again, consistently, over a period of time, it will start to have great and lasting impact. That is the secret of creating anything in this world – consistent – persistent – principled action. And this phenomenon is always part of reality. Each morning everything begins anew. Each day we have an opportunity to reinforce some form of pattern – and it is the quality of these patterns that will determine the result, the quality of our life. If we have a lousy quality on our patterns – then the result will be lousy. If our patterns are effective – we will have great results.

Walking the process of self-forgiveness is to learn to redesign our patterns into supportive and expansive structures that help us move forward. An easy example of how this works is the following. Let us say you have a pattern of going into fear of survival when you buy things, causing you to compromise yourself in terms of the goods and services you purchase. A redesign of such a pattern would be that you create a pattern of trusting yourself with money to buy what you require to be the best you can be. Such a pattern in relation to money will make you self-empowered with money.

All our life consists of these patterns – and they come through in child rearing. What most parents tend to do is to share/live patterns that are ineffective. An example of such a pattern is becoming angry when the child displays some form of destructive behavior instead of explaining what was wrong with the behavior, why it was wrong, and supporting the child to create a more effective way of relating to the world. And because we have dysfunctional patterns, our children gets a dysfunctional education, and they start breaking down in various ways. And this can all be avoided – when we walk our process – and change our dysfunctional patterns into patterns that supports equality, life and what is best for all.

My partner and I have walked this process of self-forgiveness – we still have a long way to go – however already – I can see the effects of our own personal changes in our daughter – and it is awesome. I wish I could have grown up the way my daughter grows up. She has two parents that want the best for her – and that have understood how unwanted patterns are created and how they can be directed. Everyone should know about this – especially those of us that are or that aspire to become parents.

We are all programmable and we live in a programmable world. This is the key to self-creation and supporting a child to create themselves. Everything can be directed with consistent and persistent action.


Day 422: Using Money, With Common Sense

It can be easy to forget what is important in the face of money. On the hand, money is really, really important. If you have none – you are literally fucked. However, if you do have your basic needs covered, and money left over to spend on pleasures, then money becomes of less importance.

Because let us say that you have a ton of money, would that make you happier, more comfortable, more safe, have better relationships, be more satisfied? The truth is no – it would however enable you to live out all kind of crazy escapism strategies. What is the purchase of massive luxury yachts, the constant need for home renovating, the urgency to travel and see new places, to experience new kinds of foods, and have new experiences, but our attempts to cover up the truth – the truth that we all feel pretty fucked up – and that our world is pretty much fucked up.

Thus, when the basic needs are covered, and there are money to pursue hobbies and interests, the challenge becomes to keep focus on what is important, and not to become engulfed in the current consumerism capitalism system, where most of everything circles around some form of purchase. It is fascinating – I have seen this many times in myself. I have acquired new hobbies, such as gardening for example. And as I start to deepen my relationship to the interest, the desires start to emerge. Seemingly, I am now in need of a new kind of tool to prepare my garden, or a new type of soil, or seed, to make my hobby fulfilling. This is the lure of money – the belief that we constantly have to spend, to acquire, to purchase in order to fulfill ourselves, and our lives – but the reality is that money is not able to give us that fulfillment – it cannot be bought – it can only be lived.

Children show this to us effectively. They are little about the equipment, the stuff, the toys, and more about their experience within it, their expression, their movement, the relationships, the creativity, and all of the soft, ethereal values that can be explored without money. The challenge as an adult is to remember that. It is not about the money – it is about WHO WE ARE WITHIN WHAT WE DO.

Abundance of money can thus create attention diversion – where we without really wanting it or understanding what we do – start to focus more of ourselves on buying things instead of developing ourselves and our relationships. For example, we neglect our relationships with our children in order to work more, to buy more, to apparently, make ourselves more happy and content – and to create a better future for a children – while really all that our children would want is to spend more time with us when we are relaxed and content.

Money thus is a difficult point to master. The solution as I have found it is to focus on my expression, my expression, and my physical movement – to place focus on WHO I AM and not on what I own or what I want – and to find and establish fulfillment in my expression instead of in buying new things. And it is important to clarify our relationship to money, because in order to change ourselves, and to be a part of changing this reality, we have to use our money to facilitate such a change. We have to spend money to create a better world – and thus – push through our desire/urge to keep it all for ourselves and to use it to further our own interests only.

Muslims have found a good way to deal with this point. They give a percent of their income to people in need, they call it zakat. While it might not have worked in practice – it is a key to moving forward with all kinds of problems in the world. If we want to sort something out, we must fund it, we must give our money to a cause. For example, if we want to support nature, we must invest in nature. If we want to alleviate poverty – we must invest in poor people. And it is not enough to rely on the government to do this – our money must be given direction with awareness. Currently, most of us allow our money to trickle into all kinds of unnecessary and meaningless shit. If we take a self-honest look at what we are buying, it is easy to see that we do not need half of it – and that the money are needed elsewhere.

Thus, when we are able to create a stability in our finances, the challenge is to keep our direction, keep our stability, and to position ourselves to share, to give, and to influence, and impulse the direction/creation we want in this world. Nothing ever comes by itself, it we want it, we have to create it.


Day 421: A House Divided Cannot Stand

A house divided cannot stand.

And unfortunately – humanity is a house divided. We are divided because we become too attached to our own personal lives – too involved in the belief that our life is what matters the most – and far removed from the notion that humanity is one race – living on one planet – all breathing the same air – all exposed to the same conditions – all made of flesh and blood. We are all from earth – though from the moment we are born – our devolution into personality begins. And this is why we as of yet are unable to manifest lasting and effective change for all people on earth to have the best life possible – we are too separated from one another.

Imagine if all of us would feel the pain of everyone else. The moment one starve, everyone would experience the deep pain, the slow decomposition and deterioration of muscles and fat and the increasing fear of death. How different our world would be. In such a world – there would be no wars – the pain of such an event would be excruciating – far too extreme to outweigh any form of reward. In such a world there would be enormous investments made to empower and better the lives of the poor, sick and elderly – as everyone would experience the consequences. Actions that further the empowerment of humanity as a whole would be rewarded and seen as distinguished acts – because these would lessen the pain and increase the sense of well-being for everyone.

Imagine such a world – a world where our nervous system would be connected to everyone else’s – no separation – no hiding. In our real world, there is no such thing – here we must rely on our empathy and our ethereal connection to earth/life/the physical – and this has been a complete failure. We are in most cases unable to stand together, to feel one another, and to care for one another. Our political opinions are proof of that – because how are we able to have different opinions of what would be best if we would not be divided and each of us have our own agenda and idea of what is best.

Living oneness and equality practically is not easy. The challenge is to remain stable and considerate when survival triggers comes into play, such as hunger, deprivation of sleep, cold or excessive heat. And I would say that for most people that is impossible – we are deeply programmed on a physical level to preserve ourselves and our survival. However – when our survival is granted – interesting things happen.

I recently watched a documentary called the boat. It was about a sociological experiment on conflicts. The researcher had the idea that only in a pressured state would the true nature of human beings come forth. Therefore he constructed a small boat with a sail, designed to keep 12 people in very close proximity. The boat was inhabited with a mixture of people from different ethnicities, cultures, religions and colors of skin – with the idea that this would be potential causes of conflict. The state of fear was supposed to be induced by the fact that these people would sail in the boat over the Atlantic, drifting with the currents and also using the sail – a difficult and potentially life-threatening journey.

What happened was interesting. Instead of conflict – what occurred was that the people started to working together, form a tightly knitted team, to effectively deal with the external dangerous that they were exposed to. Instead of becoming divided, they becoming united, solidified, and strong as one group. The researcher became increasingly frustrated – because he expected conflict – and even though the conditions seemed to be perfect – nothing happened. And thus he attempted to provoke conflicts between the members of the group, without result.

In the end the researcher viewed the experiment as a failure – because he had not learned anything about conflicts. However – what I see is that the experiment does show some very important points when it comes to conflict and fighting between people. Firstly – fighting and conflicts are very much a result of how we have designed our current system – where all are pushed into a state of survival and are pitted against one another in a capitalistic race. If we compare to the boat, there each participant were dependent on the other members of the group – and there was no systematic competition – instead the group competed against external elements to empower itself and its members.

Secondly – in the boat scenario – there were no shortages of food, water or accommodation – and the resources on the ship were to my knowledge distributed equally between the members of the group. This is a point that is in stark contrast the normal society were resources are distributed arbitrarily to the people that happen to have the most money – and there is no regard for any innate value in human beings – as each are only valued according to the amount of money that they have.

What is interesting thus is that this researcher actually created circumstances on his boat that allowed for peace and mutual cooperation to come through – even though he thought that he was creating an environment that would induce massive amounts of conflict.

Thus – to get back to the initial point. If we want to be able to create a new world, a new way, where everyone gets to have a life of dignity – a life of love and enjoyment – we need to start working together – start encouraging our strides forward no matter how small they might be – and stop dividing. We do not need more opinions – we need more understanding. And we do not need more leaders – we need more groups that stand and work together as one towards creating a better life for everyone.


 

Day 420: Beingness Technologies

One hundred years ago, there was still no sanitation or running water in the country where I live. You had to go outside to the well and pump water, and to wash clothes, you then had to heat the water, then manually rinse the clothes in a basin, and hit the clothes with a plank to remove the dirt. Taking care of the basic needs of life, food, housing and clothing, meant extensive work, and the majority of people worked themselves into an early grave. Having that in mind it is extraordinary to see what we have accomplished in the modern world. We have many technical innovations that allow us to live more comfortably. What fascinates me however, is that we now take it all for granted, and that this comfort and ease, seems to have made us prone to living more in our minds than in reality. And that is unfortunate, because I see that our comfortable lifestyle is what now makes it possible to for the first time really explore what life in reality could be all about.

Before our technical progress we were forcibly grounded in reality – on earth – with the dirt, water and sun. Our entire lifestyle consisted of working in and with the physical – it had to be done in order for us to survive. Today – that relationship with the physical must be maintained with awareness. We have to literally discipline ourselves to not move away into a variety of inner mind universes – we have to discipline ourselves to be grounded and earthed – it does not anymore happen by itself. And that is not something we are taught how to do. We are simply expected to figure these things out for ourselves without any guidance. I consider our inability to create and maintain a healthy relationship with the earth and ourselves as the next great technological leap – it will be a technology of the beingness.

It is interesting – because we have placed so much of our attention and focus on empowering ourselves to survive – though none on empowering ourselves to live. There is a difference between surviving and living. Surviving is to keep your head above the water and keep your belly full, your body warm and nourished. Living is to express and experience your own unique beingness in this world – and to become sensitive to the life sprawling all around. And technologies supporting the latter expression is severely underdeveloped. That is why it will be a challenging process to start learning what it means to live. There are few to look at and learn from. However – there is exceptions – and I mean that Desteni is one of those. It is a organization that has developed a few very potent tools that can be used to direct one’s mind and to change one’s relationship to physical reality. And combining these you get a very effective toolbox that can help most people venture through the most challenging internal life experiences.

The primary tool is called self-forgiveness – it is the application of moving through your mind and forgiving yourself for separating yourself from your physical self and into third party observations (also called thoughts) of yourself and reality. The basic understanding is that simply by the act of thinking – you are not living immediately here – you are observing and making conclusions about yourself and reality that are not based on a direct connection with reality. This process of separation can in the long run create extensive consequence as each and every thought brings us further and further away from the essence of ourselves – from the earth.

I have yet to find a tool that is more effective than self-forgiveness when it comes to creating understanding and transcendence with regards to self-limiting mind patterns. What consistent use of self-forgiveness creates is the power to see that we are not what we think – we are what is behind the thoughts – the life-force – the fuel that powers the thoughts – and in reality – we can exist just fine without thoughts. We do not need them to live, express, share and experience. Thus – self-forgiveness is the process of stepping into the role of being the creator of your own character in every moment of breath.

It reminds me of the following quote

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

With self-forgiveness you can literally go backwards in time and alter your thoughts – and give yourself the opportunity to begin again. That is why it is so powerful – and that is why it is called forgiveness. It is because it is a process of releasing and letting go of what has already been created to make room for the new – and the new – that is created by ourselves – this time with AWARENESS and SPECIFICITY and with a connection to what is real – the dirt, water, sun, air and flesh.