Day 353: Self-Forgiveness On Fears In Relation To Money and Employment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more money you have the more valuable you are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rich people are more valuable than poor people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rich people are more intelligent than poor people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that poor people are stupid

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having more money means that I am successful

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that owning a lot of things, having a lot of money means that I have done something good and worthwhile with my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have my clarity and direction become clogged and limited, due to the desire to have more money – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have more money so that I am able to feel safe and secure in this world – not seeing, realizing and understanding, that the only way that security can be created in this world, will be through giving ALL people a dignified and proper life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strive towards and desire to have my life become more through having more money – and in this forget and not care about what others are going through – and how my desires and wants influence and ripple into this world – creating consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that I cannot possibly create and have a comfortable lifestyle, only for myself, and then not care at all about the rest of this world, as fact is that, I am part of this world, and on a deep level within myself, I will always be aware of and know the atrocities committed on a daily basis, and that in order for me to find peace, I must will myself to act

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push myself to create and give myself a purpose that involves more than only myself – as I see, realize and understand, that this way, I will be able to truly let go of my fears, and my personal desires, that only creates more consequence than pleasure, and that I can thus find peace in striving to create something for the many that is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the system for granted, and completely trust the system to work, to be there for me, to function, and that as long as I am loyal and give myself to the system, then I will be rewarded and given the necessary resources to survive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being loyal to the system in fear that the system is going to exclude me and that I am not going to be allowed to be a part of the money system – and have access to money – to stuff, products, entertainment, things that I can use to pass my time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the system and distrust myself – to believe that the system is more powerful than me – and that in order to survive – I must devote myself to the system and give myself – my future – my life to the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being devoted to the system – in fear that this is going to be seen and that I will be rejected and pushed away from the system – excommunicated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear money – and to believe that money is more powerful than me – and that I must serve money loyally or it might strike down upon me with a vengeance

When and as I see myself going into, and experiencing a fear towards the money system, as in fear that I will become pushed away and excommunicated, I take a breath, I stop myself, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that this fear within me is holding me back from living fully – that I am not allowing myself to trust myself and live and create as what would be best for me – thus I commit myself to breathe through my fear – and then push myself to live my full potential as what I see is best for me – and best for all – and stick with my self-honesty and self-trust – and not accept and allow myself to loose my direction and deviate because of fear

When and as I see myself going into fear towards my superiors, towards someone in my environment with a higher position in the system, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that I am limiting myself, holding myself back, and accepting and allowing irrational believes to control me, not seeing that I am equal and one – that there is no difference between me and someone with a higher position in the system – and thus I commit myself to push myself to live equality – to stop fears and anxieties and express my genuine being and self-expression – and to not accept and allow myself to suppress and hold myself back due to fear


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Day 352: Self-Forgiveness On Fears In Relation To Superiors

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear and anxiety towards people that are superior to me in the system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards, and define having more money, and a higher position in the system as being more valuable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value on having a high position in the system and believe that people that have a high position in the system are better than people that do not have a high position in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people that earn a lot of money are better and more valuable than people that do not earn a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a promotion means that you increase in value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a raise means that you increase in value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a job, and having a job, means that you are valuable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that getting a job, and having a job, and working, means that you are needed, important, and have value, and a place in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being liked by people that have a lot of money and a high position in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being appreciated by people that have a lot of money and a high position in the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged and defined as having no value by people in the system with a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel, that without money, and without a high position in the system, I am nothing, and a nobody

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up, to fear living, to fear expressing myself, to fear trusting myself, thinking that, in order to do that, I require to have a lot of money, I require to be someone in the system, I require to have a high position – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the system to grant me a high position, to grant me self-trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be given self-trust by people outside of me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that self-trust cannot be given, it is something that I must create, build, and bring through as myself, through how I live, how I participate, how I interact

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for self-trust to come to me, through being granted influence and power by the system, instead of me giving myself, self-trust, through me deciding who I am in every moment of breath, through me pushing and willing myself to create myself, and thus, not wait, not postpone, not hope and wish that the system is going to grant me the position that I want, but that I give myself that position within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on the system to give me the courage to stand up and live my utmost potential – instead of me standing up within myself – and pushing myself to live and create myself as my utmost potential – pushing myself to trust myself and to live my life within and as self-trust and understanding – that nothing in this world will be able to give that to me – I must give it to myself

When and as I see myself going into fear towards my superiors, I stop myself, take a breath and bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into a state of inferiority, a state of disbelief, and a state of waiting for the system to lift me up before I do, and thus I commit myself to straighten my shoulders, look up, use breath to stabilize me physically here, and live words such as confidence, trust, and self-reliance, to push myself to express myself naturally in the moment

When and as I see myself shrinking, and trembling in fear, as a superior walk by me, or talk with me, I stop, I take a breath and bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that it is up to me to change my relationship with my world, with my life and the people in it, and that I am able to change myself, my life, and my relationship with people through living words, and thus I commit myself to in that moment embrace my EQUALITY with my superiors, to embrace my ONENESS, to embrace that I am here as a physical being, and thus of equal worth and value

Day 351: Perspective

In moving through the daily motions, most times, when fear arise, it does feel justified, convincing and normal. We become stressed and go into fear in relation to something in our work environment, or we become stressed and fearful about what to do in our future – fears we trust and decide to act according to. However, seen from a perspective, these fears, anxieties, they become nothing but ridiculous.

What do I mean when I say perspective? What I am looking at is the small shit, compared to the entirety of our lives, the entirety of this earth, the massive problems that we are facing as humanity, that are far, far greater than my own personal issues. When looked at from that vantage point, my own personal problems seems small and almost microscopic – and it also puts the finger on what is of REAL importance in this life. It is not important that we create the perfect life for ourselves, it is not important that we realize and fulfill our dreams, it is not important that we manage to live the life we hoped as young – what is important however – is that we place our attention and focus on the larger, practical and concrete issues we are facing – and doing our part in finding and applying a solution.

The trap is that exists is to become dulled into a feeling of being comfortably numb with our life and what is here in this world, some of our desires and wants become satiated, and then we become docile and easily controlled – and then we live to retain the life that allows us to experience these feelings of safety, security, ease, and comfort – and continuously running away from what we fear. This way life is limited, WE become limited, as we loose touch with what is important, and life becomes about satisfying our own, small, isolated, personal bubbles of self-comfort.

With perspective, seeing things from a greater distance, it is not as easy to become lost in the comfortable life, and mentally trapped in the daily motions of survival – because with a perspective – we are able to see that there is more. And seeing/experiencing/taking part in that more, it is not about traveling, or selling all your belongs, quitting your job, and go to live off grid. Opening yourself and your life up to something more is about self-creation, understanding that this life is not meant to be wasted on the pendulum motions of the mind, participating in ups and downs, and meaningless thoughts about this and that. Living with purpose, drive, and passion, it is about WHO YOU ARE – it is about what you do and how you participate within yourself in relation to your life.

Thus, life lived with perspective, is to in each moment when a thought pops up, or an emotion or feeling arise, to remind oneself that there is MORE, that physical living – breathing – remaining within the simplicity of physical movement.


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writing

Day 350: Writing, The Way to Fill Life With Purpose

It is not strange that many feel purposeless and lost. This tends to happen when we loose touch with the physical reality, with our genuine self-expression, and our focus becomes more and more zoned into what happens within our minds. I have noticed, for myself, that the experience of being purposeless and lost goes hand in hand with my own relationship with myself – and interestingly enough – this relationship has been very much dependent upon writing.

Some weeks ago I made a decision to write more for myself. I have usually written about once a week, though now, I decided to write once every day or once every other day. The effects of applying this decision were immediate and positive, especially with regards to how I experienced myself in relation to words such as purpose, direction and movement. Because in when moving, working and living within the system on a daily basis, it is easy to forget what matters. If we do not nourish our relationship with ourselves properly, soon enough we will begin to feel empty and lost. And that is when it is easy to believe that we need a energy to feel alive and on track – that we need some form of personal reinvention – for example – a new hobby, a new car, a new girlfriend or a new job. However it is never about what to do, experience, achieve, get, own, out there – it is always and only about ourselves.

When I started to write more regularly, I noticed that my mind became more quiet, and the experience of being without purpose that had been stirring within me for a while, it was not there anymore. I was surprised, because I initially thought that I had to establish some form of direction in relation to the world system, to direct my experience of being without purpose. That was not the case, because purpose, is not something that can be achieved out there – purpose is something that we live within and as ourselves – it is all about who we are.

Yet, why is it that writing is such a powerful tool when it comes to establishing purpose? I see it the following way. Purpose, which is a clear sense and understanding of what I am doing here and to what end, is dependent upon inner clarity, that is the ability to see ourselves and our life clearly. And writing is one of the most effective tools for establishing clarity, because when we place down words before us, and through that with awareness design our understanding/seeing of reality and ourselves, we create clarity. Seeing clearly is thus a matter of having a clear and solid vocabulary, with which we have clearly defined and made sense of the world we interact with on a daily basis.

Writing is how we investigate, expand, move and create ourselves and our lives. In placing words, we design ourselves, and that brings through clarity, which in turns enables us to live with purpose. And purpose is simply to be clear on what we are doing, live with a reason, and have a clear direction – and with writing – we are able to establish that direction – re-focus our attention on what we want to create/expand/move/direct. That is why writing is so important, and why everyone interested in finding stability and purpose in their lives should use writing daily to expand their relationship with themselves.

Day 349: Taking Care of Plants

A while ago I decided to take some potted plants to my office in order to make my working environment more comfortable and supportive. However, now, one of my plants have almost died due to dehydration and the other has been affected by dehydration – because I did not water them properly. Knowing that my external environment shows me who I am within, I decided to look at what I can learn about myself from this.

The word that popped up within me was nourish. I could see that the plants died because they did not get the proper nourishment, water. And it is not that I do not care about the plants, because I do, the problem is that when I am at the office, I usually get so caught up in a high strung energy of fast and efficient movement, that I get tunnel visioned and only see my work, and what task that I should get to next, and I do not take in my environment as a whole. Interestingly enough, I did not initially see that my plants experienced a tough time, as I was so completely invested into my work.

Obviously, this is not cool, and it is something that I want to change. I would want to be stable and have oversight, be calm and capable of nourishing myself and my environment, regardless of whether I am at work, or being at home relaxing. Instead of existing in a tunnel vision, I would want to have a expansive awareness of all the various lives that touch mine on a daily basis, so that I am able to support, nourish, and give as I would like to receive.

The solution is to ground myself using breath, and then deliberately expand my awareness through looking at and noticing what is going on around me – and then deliberately push myself to give time and attention to the lives around me – because another problem is that I will sometimes notice someone or something – yet not feel that I have the time to invest myself in their lives as I am so much into my own thing.

Thus slowing down and expanding my awareness to what is around me and pushing myself to invest time and effort into the lives that touch mine – to actively participate and give support and nourish – and see, realize and understand that it is not that I do not have time in-fact – it is that I am too fearful of losing time that makes me unable to effectively give as I would like to receive.


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best

Day 348: Living What Is Best, Practically

Today I looked at the following question within me: What does it mean to really CARE about life and LIVE what is best for all?

I looked at myself, my life, and my considerations in terms of future, particularly when it comes to money, and career, and I was able to see, that even though I have at times told myself that I am walking a certain direction, because I care about life and what is best for all, within me, there has always been that undercurrent of desire/greed/self-interest. And what I have realized as of late, is that this underlying positive energetic movement is fueled by negative experiences, primarily fear. Thus, this is why I have looked at the question, what would it really mean to live what is best for all?

And here I want to clarify, both for myself, and the reader, that doing what is best for all is not a selfless act – because SELF is part of ALL – and hence – BEST for ALL is also BEST for SELF – though in consideration and with regard for everyone else.

What is best for all is also and always PRACTICAL – for the simple reason that – unless something is practical – then it must be forced and when something is forced – compromise will be created in some form or another. An example would be a how it does not make sense to force a puzzle piece into place where it is not meant to be, as that might damage the piece, and the puzzle will not be at its full potential. Another important word with a similar definition is COMPATIBILITY. A solution that is best for all is always compatible – it is aligned with and designed to improve and support the participants involved.

However, only because something is practical and compatible does not mean that is best. It is surely practical to keep our lives small, repetitive, and isolated, it makes us more apt at surviving and dealing with our small lives – however – it is not optimal – it is not our full potential. Hence, another aspect of living/creating what is best, is that the decision/direction must improve, support, expand, and enhance – it must bring out the best in ourselves and those around us.

One way of taking this principle into practical application is through doing what we like to do, in a way that is best for all – as that combines the point of practicality (doing what comes easy to us) with support and expansion (doing it in a way that is best for everyone). An example would be the following. Let us say that we really enjoy making music. Then we could devote ourselves to that hobby, and at the same time integrate an aspect of sharing ourselves with others, through let’s say, giving away free lessons in learning how to play a instrument, or supporting newly formed bands to find a place to rehearse. Thus, what this shows is that Living What Is Best is not limited – it is a principle that can be brought through everywhere – and the more we utilize our creative abilities and think out of the box – the more we will be able to expand this way of living.

This also goes to show another point, that living what is best is not confined to only one part of our life, or, to only our external reality. We can apply this approach to our own minds – and ask ourselves when a thought comes up: Is this thought practical? Is this thought supportive? And if both of those questions are answered negatively – we know that the thought must be removed.

Thus to conclude – what does it mean to live what is best for all? – It means that 1) We live/decide/move according to what is practical, and 2) We make sure our decisions are supportive/enhance/expand everyone involved.


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baby

Day 347: Babies

Yesterday I looked at the documentary ‘Babies’ that follows four humans through their first year after birth. Two of the babies featured in the film are from rural areas: Ponijao from Namibia, and Bayar from Mongolia. The two other are from urban areas: Mari from Tokyo, Japan, and Hattie from San Francisco, U.S.

I found the film interesting because it showed the difference between how people relate to babies and parenthood in first world countries, compared to third world countries. And one point that came through clearly was how the first world parents were more anxious, and worried about their babies, and approached the point of upbringing using intellect. For example, in the first world, the parents took their babies to ‘baby-classes’ – which is a couple of parents coming together with their babies, and with the help of a circle leader – the parents then explore a topic together with their babies. In the movie the first world babies sang songs with the parents about ‘mother earth’ for example.

In contrast, the third world babies grew up very close to the ground, and in case of the Namibian baby Ponijao, she literally grew up in the dirt, as neither the hut where she lived, or her environment provided anything else but dirt as a floor. And it was fascinating to see the difference, how Ponijaos mother was very relaxed and did not try to be or do anything more than usual. When Ponijao was born, her mother simply continued the normal day-to-day activities, yet now, taking Ponijao with her at all times. She did not try to educate or teach Ponijao anything from that stressed and anxious starting point that can be seen in first world parents, such as reading stories to make sure that the child gets the necessary vocabulary as fast as possible, so that it will do good in school later on. Instead Ponijaos mother remained stable, and when Ponijao indicated that she was ready to learn something or expand, her mother would naturally and smoothly move herself to show that particular aspect of reality. The development of Ponijao was on her premises, in her pace, not forced, not stressed, not controlled.

From what I can see, us in the first world, we have lost touch with our physical nature to such an extent that we do not anymore trust ourselves to birth and rear children, as a natural expression of ourselves. One of the reasons for this is because our lives has become removed from any deep connection with and understanding of earth. We do not grow our food anymore, or slaughter the animals we eat, we just go to the supermarket and buy what we need. And in the city, we see some trees here and there, however, we seldom get to experience and be part of a wild and expansive nature stretching a far as we can see. We are very protected from the sensations of reality, and thus, we do not create an effective relationship with the physical, and when the body births a baby, which is a natural expression of the physical body, we simply do not know how to deal with it. And try to read books, and figure out how we should be as parents, and make up plans for, and create magnificent illusions of how our future will be, without any real understanding of the physical expression of the body. And what happens when the baby is born? Oftentimes, chaos ensues, as we are brutally awakened by the reality of what it means and implies to have a baby.

If there is something I took with me from this film it is the importance of not approaching childbirth and raising a child from within and as fear and anxiety – not make it anything more than it is – not try to come up with theorems, educational tactics and other intellectual designs. Instead, to approach having a children as something that is natural – trusting the human physical body to do its thing – and then as the baby is here – trusting myself to direct each and every moment according to what is best for all. Understanding that a good education is not necessarily to learn to play a instrument, and three languages fluently, but it might instead be, to simply be with and discover reality, in a comfortable and slow pace. If the baby does not have an inclination towards reading, then why force it? The urge to control always arise from some type of irrational fear, and as a parent, it is very important to not let those fears take a hold, and begin to mold and design, and essentially limit, our child’s life from within and as those fears.

Childbirth and taking care of children are all natural parts of the physical – and us making such a big deal out of it only goes to show that we have separated ourselves from the physical – instead of standing one and equal with the physical – and walking the process of birth and parenting HERE – within self-trust.

 


Check out the following interview on parenting
https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfecting-the-human-race-part-1

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