preference

Day 330: The Battle of The Colliding Preferences

When I was still living by myself, I had complete freedom in how to structure my reality. I decided my routines, when I was going to do things, what I was going to do, how I was going to do it, and if I did not like the way I did something, I would simply change it. Then, I got into a relationship, and my partner and I eventually moved in together, and this opened up the world of colliding preferences. It is those small things that I would normally not even notice, that suddenly frustrates and irritates my partner – and for me – this has been challenging to understand and deal with – because for me – the things the routine things that I do are completely natural, normal,  because I have always done things like this.

Thus, yesterday, I was discussing this point with my partner, of our colliding preferences, and the issue of which of our preferences should be given precedence. It was interesting to look at this point, because many of our preferences have no practical origin. Instead, many times, our preferences are something we have built up using the example of our parents, what others have told us to do, where we have not really looked at what would be the BEST way of approaching reality. How often do we sit down to define our preferences to align them with what is best for all, and base them on a solid foundation of research and reflection? Very, very seldom, at least that is the case with me.

For example, cleaning the house, initially as I moved away from my parents to live alone, cleaning was not a priority what-so-ever. I considered cleaning to be boring, tedious, and unnecessary. I thought that it was okay with dust, grease, and dirt, not because I had made in-depth research on what condition of cleanliness that would be best for me, but because I had examples in my life, such as friends, with a similar preference with regards to cleaning, from which I copied my particular approach. Hence, I embraced a filthy home-environment, because that was my preference. However, when my partner got into my life, this preference was challenged. My partner was a lot more cleanly and had specific routines for cleaning her home environment. In the beginning, this made no sense to me at all, and I for a long time resisted this new kind of preference . This obviously caused conflicts, because that is the thing with colliding preferences, conflicts will ensue.

This led me down the road of researching my cleaning preferences, questioning them, and seeing if there was a better way that I could deal with certain points. I started to research the purpose and functioning of cleaning more closely, and in that I developed a deeper understanding of cleaning. Instead of it being an empty preference, something I did by routine, I started to shape my cleaning preference based on what was best for all. I realized that a clean living abode is very important to physical health, and to clean effectively, various products, and techniques must be combined. Through me researching and challenging my preferences, an entire world of new information opened up, and eventually my partner and I were able to reach common ground in relation to our cleaning practices.

So, yesterday, the point of preference opened up in relation to another aspect of my life, where I had one way I liked to do things, and my partner another. At first I defended my preference, but then I started to look deeper into the point, because I realized, that when two preferences are at war, this because there is no understanding of what would be best for all. Hence, this is how I looked at it. If the two preferences are very much subjective (based on arbitrary conclusions) such as for example, preference of color, then the person which cares more for their preference should be given precedence, as long as there is no practical consequential outflow that is created by manifesting the preference. And if the preference concerns a practical physical point such as how to clean the counter-tops or the placement of particular furniture, then consideration should not only be given to we care about realizing that particular preference, but also to the point of what, according to research and objective considerations, would be the best, and accordingly from which preference we, equal and one, would benefit the most.

Thus, the trick is to look at the preference from within and as the starting point of equality and oneness, and ask myself: What would benefit me ‘equal and one’? And this requires that I let go of my desire to hold unto my specific preference, and open myself up to new ways of doing things, and unconditionally look at what would be the best for the both of us. Hence, in this process, I am changing the battle of the preferences, into a internal journey of finding the best ways to live together with my partner, where it is not anymore about ‘my’ preferences, it is about creating harmony and balance between two individuals with regards do daily living routines.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my preferences as more important than anyone else’s preference, and thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let go of my self-interest to instead be able to see the practicality of preferences – and select my preference on the basis of what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for and defend my preference

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful that I will not be able to live out my preference the way I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not hear what preferences others might, and not care about it either, because I only care for my own preference

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value my preferences more than the preferences of others, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider, that when there is a ‘battle of preferences’ – this might be because I have not slowed myself down to listen to the other person, hear him or her out, to see what it is that he or she wants, because maybe their preference is more efficient, and practical than mine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect my preferences even though I do no care for them very much, and even though I could simply, and without much inner conflict change my preference to something that would be more in alignment with my physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not protecting my preferences, in fear that if I let them go, I am going to loose myself, or part of my identity, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my preferences, not seeing, realizing and understanding that preferences, mostly, have nothing to do with me and a genuine self-expression, as it is oftentimes merely a routine, and way of doing or approaching things, that I have gotten used to and now apply in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to question my preferences, and as well, dare to let them go, seeing, realizing and understanding that this will not compromise, or lessen me, because my preferences are not me, but merely ways of doing things, and sometimes, ways of doing things that are not efficient at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not create my preferences on sound research – and define my preferences on what is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let myself unconditionally listen to the preferences of others and see if there is something that I am able to learn or apply in my own life – or whether I can up/change/direct my preferences to become more effective and in alignment with physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about how my preferences came to be – and that many times it was just something that happened because I was comfortable with it, and someone else in my life did similar, and that it was seldom an act of conscious/aware deliberation, finding the best and most harmonious way to exist within and as this world

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself fighting for and defending my preferences, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that there is really nothing within me that I am able to loose by unconditionally considering the practicality of my preference, and that I do not loose myself by letting go of or changing a preference, and thus I commit myself to unconditionally consider and look at my preferences to see whether they are efficient and best for all – or whether there is another way of doing things that are better and more suitable – and thus select and decide upon the preference that is best

When and as I want to hold unto my preference, where I am afraid of loosing it, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here, and I see, realize and understand that I am not my preferences, that my expression, my self-honesty, and my individuality is not limited by my preferences, and by the way that I usually doing things, and thus I commit myself to embrace the new input coming into my life, and unconditionally question my preferences, with the aim and intention of becoming more efficient and aligned in physical reality


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succesful

Day 329: Redefining Successful

Redefining the word Successful

How I have lived the word up till now

Undoubtedly, success for me has been deeply connected with receiving recognition from others and thus my primary relationship with the word has been in relation to fame and the desire to become famous. Throughout my life I have many times ventured and taken on new hobbies, because they have held an opportunity for me to get famous. There has been music, making movies, writing, and more, hobbies that I have pursued hoping to become widely known and appreciated. Thus, success has not been something present in my personal relationship with myself – success has been something to achieve for someone out there.

Current definition

Dictionary definition

  1. The accomplishment of an aim or purpose: the president had some success in restoring confidence.
    • the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status: the success of his play.
    • [ count noun ] a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains fame, wealth, etc.: to judge from league tables, the school is a success | I must make a success of my business.
  2. archaic the good or bad outcome of an undertaking: the good or ill success of their maritime enterprises.

Etymology

1530s, “result, outcome,” from Latin successus “an advance, a coming up; a good result, happy outcome,” noun use of past participle of succedere “come after” (see succeed). Meaning “accomplishment of desired end” (good success) first recorded 1580s. Meaning “a thing or person which succeeds,” especially in public, is from 1882.

The moral flabbiness born of the bitch-goddess SUCCESS. That — with the squalid interpretation put on the word success — is our national disease. [William James to H.G. Wells, Sept. 11, 1906]

Success story is attested from 1902. Among the French phrases reported by OED as in use in English late 19c. were succès d’estime “cordial reception given to a literary work out of respect rather than admiration” and succès de scandale “success (especially of a work of art) dependent upon its scandalous character.”

Sounding of the word

Suck-cease

Suck-see

Suck-test

Search-for-the-best

Sit-on-end-of-test

Suck-tease

succeed

succession

Creating writing

The current definition of successful is actually grounded and specific in comparison to how I have thus far understood successful. Being successful is not about ‘competing’ or ‘winning’ – it is not about proving oneself to another – it is actually about realizing a plan/idea/manifesto into reality – it is about walking a process of creation into the physical. My definition of successful has been that it is something ‘good’ that happens, particularly related to money, career, studies, sports, competitions, and foremost in comparison with others – a success is only a success if it implies that I am better than or more than others.

However, this is not the essence of success – because in the word we have the sounds of succeed and succession – and it also comes through in the etymology of the word – success is something that comes after – it is outcome of a process of creation – where a goal has been established and then a process has been walked to realize this goal – and hence – the outflow is success.

New redefinition

Walking the creation of a goal/vision/idea/principle into physical creation/completion.

success

Day 328: Desiring Success In A Unsuccessful World

Success, a word, that to most is imbued with feelings, hopes, desires, wants, jealousy, competition, greed and secrecy. Most of us, in some way or another strives to be successful. We have defined success as having money, having a nice house, having a fruitful career, having perfect children, a perfect spouse, an interesting life and many friends. We have thus defined the word very much in relation to our external reality, and, very much as a individual point of achievement. It is seldom that success is used in the context of nations, groups of people, collectives, or with the entire world as the recipient. Success, thus, in the modern western world is something we reach alone, that we hold unto, and that becomes our currency in the survival game that we play in the system of money.

I find it interesting that it is so easy to loose oneself in this game of success. Until I began my university studies I was well protected from this game. It is fascinating to look back at how I was back then. My decisions then were in many cases based on what would be suitable and effective for me as a person. For example, when I went into hobbies, or pursued interests, it was most of the times not done from within a starting point of wanting to impress anyone, or to achieve recognition, rather it was something I did for and as myself, because I enjoyed it. However, when I began my university studies, I got to see and get involved with the game of success more closely; a game that is played with what careers we have, how much money we are able to accumulate, who we know, where we live, and where we do not live. It is a game of competing with our achievements, where we try to become better, so that we can feel valuable.

Thus, to some extent, I lost myself in this game, because gradually it became more difficult for me to see what I wanted to do, and what direction that would be the best for me, and that is because, in each and every process of consideration, a fear was intersecting: ‘What if I will not be successful?’. And thus I would gravitate towards certain career paths, and lifestyles, that I knew were considered, by the greater mass, as desirable. However, in this, I lost touch with myself, and with what I saw as a future for myself – or – I became more acutely aware that my life direction was very much determined by the input of others and not so much a self-directed decision as to where I want to go and what I want to do with myself in this lifetime.

Hence, the solution is the redefine success – this word is obviously not limited to having a efficient career, having access to money, and being popular, it is much more. And within this, what should also be looked at is the question as to whether it is possible to lead a successful life, FOR REAL, when the majority of human beings live in conditions of squalor. Is it successful to have a fuck-load of money, and spend that on things that interest us, while people exist in dismay all around us? I would say it is a extremely limited form of successful, and rather a form of narcissism – where we only care about ourselves and cannot give the slightest of fucks about anyone else.

How should success be lived for it to be real? For success to be real, it must be lived in consideration of others, it cannot be this single, desire driven, inner momentum, where we ONLY care about our own achievements, and disregard what consequences that might create in the lives of others. Further, real success cannot be something that is only existent on a personal level, because there is as well, a interpersonal and a existential level to the word success – where we are able to bring through this word into living not only for ourselves, but for the we interact with on a daily basis, and for the world as a whole. Hence, success is a word with great potential, but that has become severely limited, due to how we have defined it in the context of how we FEEL and also created a form of success competition between each-other – instead of understanding that – on a personal level – we all have our individual points of success. For one, success might be to develop a deep and fulfilling intimacy with himself – for another – success might be to push himself to become as an efficient and capable athlete. We cannot label people according to a limited ‘one size fits all’ idea of success – as that will only cause us to compete with one another. Success on a personal level is always unique and that is something we must embrace.

In my next blog I will continue to expand on the word success and find a fitting redefinition.


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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Day 327: What Are We Living For?

What are we living for? Looking at how we live on a day-to-day basis, it is clear that this point have not been investigated sufficiently. The tendency we have is to place primary value on our external lives. When we have a job, we have a house, and we have a partner, then our life is functional and apparently fulfilling. However, when we are not able to find work, we struggle to survive, and we cannot find a partner, only then we feel that there is something wrong. This is a generalization, but most us seem to have these variables existent within when it comes to determining what is a successful and enjoyable life and what is not – it is all about what goes on around.

Oftentimes, what disappears and lose importance as we tend and care for our external life is our internal realities. Our inner life does not at all have the same standing and priority as our external reality. For example in Europe, many of us view it as a sign of weakness to go visit a psychologist to have your mental status evaluated. And when we look at ‘what we do’  and ‘who we are’ – what emerge within is pictures, remembrances, and memories of the various roles we are and have fulfilled in the system, people, relatives, animals, colleagues, and similar. Apparently, we are the employee, the graduate, successful, the animal owner, the friend, the father or mother, though, what is missing within this is OURSELVES – our inner life – our inner environment – the truth of who we are – that is not defined or limited by the physical reality we move within.

Words such as purpose and meaning also comes through, limited by this one dimensional  view of life. It is about career and family, yet seldom anything more than that. It is as if we have forgotten OURSELVES in the midst of everything, as we come of age and we are forced to face life and what comes with it. Maybe this is why we have had such a difficulty in creating any lasting change in this world. When we do not even know what motivates us, why we feel and experience ourselves the way we do, why we dislike some people and like other, how can we expect to have any significant impact? How can we change, shape, and form our lives in a way that is best for all, and best for ourselves, when we do not know who we are to begin with? When we have forgotten the experiences, inner monologues and decisions, that throughout our lifetime molded us into who we are at this moment, it is not possible to make life something more.

We have forgotten what is important and real, and our focus/emphasis have been located to some very few areas of life, and this has caused us to become blind. We are not able to see how creation works in our external life, as we have not yet investigated and seen it works internally. Accordingly, what should have been a natural part of our education and upbringing, the process of learning about ourselves, does not yet exist.

This is why, if we want to change this world to become a better place, we have to engage in a process of re-education, because the one most important variable of creation that is still not understood is SELF. The result is that we create our lives without self-intimacy, self-love, without understanding what would be best for us, without principles or a clear direction – life seemingly happens – and most of us have no idea what is really going on. Only several years later down the road do we look back and conclude that there was no real plan, intent or meaning with ourselves – that things only happened and we followed along – BECAUSE – we did not know what we wanted and what would have been the best for us – even less so – what would have been best for everyone.

Thus, asking the question ‘what are we living for?’ is important, because it displays the gaping holes existent within our current definition of meaning, expression and life. Are we living for a career? To what purpose? To have money and manifest positive experiences for ourselves and then die? Are we living for our family? For what reason? To feel we belong somewhere, that we do something good, and that we feel happy? But what about OURSELVES? Should not our lives have more depth, more meaning, more reflection, more prudence and consideration, where we SLOW DOWN – and instead of rushing into things – first ask ourselves – is this what is BEST for me? Will this decision, walking this path, support ME in my process of SELF-CREATION? In my process of LIVING my utmost potential, and sharing this expression with others in a way that is best for all?

We as individuals are the only ones able to give our lives meaning, depth, intimacy, something MORE above and beyond the obvious and instantaneous image we see. We are not limited by the appearance of things, by the job we have, the family we live with, the relations we have and roles we step into, we are capable of MUCH MORE – and all of that does unfold as we investigate and open up our relationship with ourselves.


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MY FAVORITE

Day 326: When Things Does Not Go According To Plan

Let us face it. Some times things do not go according to plan, do not turn out the way we imagined, feel the way we hoped, or shape the way we envisioned – sometimes mistakes happens. For me, this has happened in relation to the house I was recently part of building together with my partner. We mapped everything out, planned, considered, and looked, and yet, when the finished product is manifested HERE, there are things I am not satisfied with.

For example, the shower has been located in a area of the bathroom with a very low ceiling, making it impossible for someone that is taller than 1.90 cm to use it efficiently. I am able to do it, however, if it was to be, that anyone else is will live here in the future, that is tall, they would have a problem. What has particularly bothered me about this mistake is that I did have an opportunity to intervene and direct the point. I remember that I got home from work, and my partner showed me how the carpenters had set up the bathroom, and I could immediately see that the shower room would become a problem. I said this to my partner, who told me to tell this to the carpenters so that they could change the construction. Then, I said, it is too late anyway! They have already begun to build!

And it was true, they had begun to build already, however at that time, they had only yet put up the wooden framework, and it would have been easy to relocate and change the disposition of the room. But I did not say anything, and then, layer upon layer was added, and now, it is a complete bathroom, and changing the location of the shower room now, would imply a complete re-building of the toilet – and that is NOT something I am particularly interested in at the moment.

The problem I am faced with now, is that every time I enter into the shower, I become irritated, and annoyed, and start thinking about this shower, and that it is not effectively placed, how I could have changed the outlook of it if I would have stuck to my guns, to moment, immediately as I saw that the planning of the toilet would become a problem.

Today as I walked into the toilet, and this backchat emerged within me, I decided to change it, and look at it differently. Because, instead of seeing this, according to me, badly located shower, as a thorn in my side, and a constant reminder that I did something wrong, it is instead something that I can utilize to learn and expand. And I have realized that mistakes will never cease to happen, I will not one day become sufficiently perfect to never make mistakes. Every time I venture into a new area of expression, a new phase and part of my life, regardless if that is building a house, taking on a new career, starting a new hobby, there WILL be mistakes. In-fact, mistakes is a natural part of the growth process, of learning something, finding myself within it, becoming accustomed to, and making decisions of what I like, and what I do not like, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable.

Hence, this poorly located shower, it is a reminder to myself that it is important to be self-honest, to not accept and allow myself and my world to be less than what it could be, and to when I find out that something is not effectively aligned, to then make sure that I act, and that I walk the process of correcting the point. AND – that I must dare and practice the courage of SHARING myself when I am dissatisfied with something, and not assume that it is too late, or that I am wrong, or that I should not say anything, but to act, move and direct myself, to see what possible, potential solutions there are for the problem I am faced with.

Not only does this bathroom offer me the opportunity to learn something when it comes to other parts of my life, it is also a great challenge in practicing living words. Because what I noticed happens within me, when I start to become irritated as to how the bathroom looks like, is that I become hard, grave and stern. I have however asked myself, would I feel like this if I was a child and made this mistake with the shower? And the answer is NO, I would not have. The reason is that as a child, I was more in the moment, more HERE, and not as invested into my belongings, as long as the shower worked, and warm water came out, it was all to my liking. And the difference between myself now, and myself as a child, was that my focus back then was HERE on me expressing, moving, directing myself in the MOMENT – I was more light-hearted and embracing of my reality regardless of how it looked. Thus, this shower problem offers me an opportunity to practice this expression of being light-hearted, easygoing and carefree that I stood as when I was a child. I do not have to make everything so serious! It is just a shower and nothing more!

This concludes my stories with the failed shower. For anyone walking through similar issues, my suggestion is to embrace the child within you, the wild, playful, carefree, and easy-going expressions that once existed within us, and that we are able to embody and live again. Fuck-ups and mistakes is a part of life, thus, let us embrace them, learn from them, and move and to perfect our creations, and obviously, dare to make more mistakes!



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balance

Day 325: Remembering Balance

Remembering balance, this is something that I must push myself to do. I find it to be easy to me to loose myself in especially, career and future projections, hopes and desires of what I would be able to do, and how I would be able to feel out there, and then, forgetting about my life HERE. This way of living, where the future becomes more prominent than the present is a trait that has matured and developed as I have come of age, because as a kid, there was ONLY the present. And as a kid, there was no projection of a fulfilling future, because the present was sufficient.

I do see that as an adult it is important to have the skills of planning, foresight, and patience, as creating in this world, regardless of what it might, requires consistent action over space and time, nothing of magnitude can be created in but one moment. However, the great misunderstanding is to misinterpret a plan for the future, with the idea that fulfillment is as well awaiting us in the future. This feeling of a future fulfillment and completion is NOT real, and regardless of how convincing the inner experience might feel, it is very important to remember, that fulfillment is HERE, that LIFE is HERE, that self-expression is HERE, that physical LIVING is HERE. Even though I might realize and bring into fruition a complicated plan, the fact does not change, LIFE can only be created/lived/experienced HERE.

Hence, this is way balance is important, the balance between physical living/enjoyment/creation/expression HERE and planning/looking ahead/considering. Many adults seem to loose that balance as they come of age, and their lives become mundane, repetitive, walked as a routine, and not HERE as LIFE. And it is clear when comparing adults with children, the latter are so vibrant, happy, excited, filled with expression and experience, as they interact with their reality. And it is not about adults being more ‘wise’ and that adults have ‘seen’ and ‘understood’ what is all about, it is that adults are more in their heads, more in their memories, more in past experiences, and future projections, and hence in a way numb to experience the reality that is around and the life that is within them.

I have found that there are practical ways to retain, foster, and expand that child-like expression, for example, through pushing myself to be aware of my breath. Through being here with my breathing, I am able to keep myself with my human physical body, and also see when I venture into my mind and future projects, to then bring myself back here, into physical living. Further, placing my attention on the tip of my toes and fingers assist and support with presence, and bring my life expression INTO the physical, and hence, not accepting and allowing myself to let myself go to waste, through being locked up in a small area between my shoulders called the mind. I have thus realized, that birthing life in the physical, is about bringing our life presence HERE through a dedicated moment-to-moment application, where we each time we notice ourselves to be in the mind, bring ourselves BACK here, back into the physical.

Hence, PRESENCE, learning to live and apply this word in daily living is a key in retaining balance – because in being PRESENT here – I am also able to see when it is that I have ventured to far into a particular aspect of my life and there is a need for me to step back, gather and ground myself. And PRESENCE is a simple word to apply, it does not matter where we are, or what we do, as we can ALWAYS practice to remain present, aware, and HERE within what we do. It does not matter if we are obliged to think and project in our professional capacity, because even within that it is possible to remain present. And when we are present, life opens up to us in a completely different way than otherwise, we are suddenly aware of the nuances, the details, the small unnoticed points of our life, that we would usually have glanced over, as would if we would have been occupied in our minds.

Day 324: Did I Do Something Wrong?

In this blog I am going work on the following mind pattern: Some days ago I faced a situation in which I thought that I was given a spare part to my tractor by a friend of mine. However, my friend clarified that he was not giving me the part but expected to get money in return. In that moment I felt embarrassed, and vulnerable, and thought to myself that I should have known! How could I have expected him to give me this part! Throughout the rest of that day I returned to this moment in my mind, and each time, what came up within me was this experience of embarrassment, ridicule, and feeling stupid. Several times I thought that my friend must think that I am an ass, that expected to get this part for free.

I am going to look at this pattern through asking myself four questions: How am I? What am I? Why am I? Who am I? – and through these questions walk the mind-pattern, and define a practical solution for myself that I can apply real-time.

How am I?
In the situation that I described above I felt nervous, tense, inferior, and vulnerable. I believed that the people around me thought badly of me, that they did not like me, and that they saw flaws in me. I was worried they were going to spot a weakness and use that to their advantage, speak about me behind my back. I judged myself because I did not have a casual and relaxed approach to my friend wanting money for the spare part.

What am I?
In the situation, I am not expressing myself to my fullest potential, rather I am standing as an example of a reaction, of holding back, and not accepting and allowing myself to live fully.

Why am I?
I am here on this earth to learn about myself, to see, understand and correct my patterns, and hence, this situation is an excellent opportunity for me to expand me insight and self-knowledge. I am here to live fully, and hence, I see, realize and understand, that this small moment, and my reaction within it, is insignificant in the large picture, and thus not something that I should make a big deal out of within myself.

Who am I?
To correct this pattern, I am to live self-acceptance and light-heartedness – allowing myself to NOT take things to seriously – allowing myself to not be right – to do something that is seen as socially unacceptable or bad – and still – accept and LOVE myself. Thus – the solution is to stand unconditional in my self-love – and to live that practically through STOPPING the judgments – and instead SMILING at the point – and accepting and allowing myself to let it go through relaxing myself with my body – relaxing my muscles and bringing myself back here.

Self-forgiveness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too serious about how I am perceived by others, and judge myself when and as I perceive that others have created a negative judgment about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value what others think of me, and define myself according to how I believe others see me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not love myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a demand unto myself – that I am to be calm, stable and relaxed when it comes to money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that I have perceived to be greedy or misers when it comes to money – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will judge me the same way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be judged as a miser

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving the impression that I am a miser – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over-compensate through being generous to the extent where I am compromising myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to have a good impression of me and like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to love me – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek comfort, acceptance and value in others – and not trust myself – and stand by myself regardless of what might play out in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand by myself – but abandon myself when I perceive that others are against me – and then fight with myself – instead of accepting myself – and loving myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as flawed and inferior – and thus seek others approval in the belief that this will raise my value – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not love myself unconditionally – and understand that my value is constant HERE – that nobody outside of me can determine my value – because my value is HERE as me by the fact that I am here within and as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for approval in others instead of approving myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace that I have a problem with money when it comes to giving and receiving – and that this is not something to judge – but instead something to understand – so that I can correct the point and develop a common sense – equal and one relationship with money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace my problems – the things I have to work on within myself – and understand that they are not bad – but simply weak spots that I require to understand and correct – and hence I commit myself to LOVE myself unconditionally – through NOT judging my weak points

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself judging myself, because I have reacted towards either giving, or receiving money, in fear, I stop myself, I take a breath, and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I do have problems with money – and this has got nothing to do with others – and the reactions I perceive they have towards this point is not relevant – what is important is that I understand my issue and move myself to direct – for myself – and thus I commit myself to UNDERSTAND my problem with money – to FOCUS on MYSELF – and to approach my issue within unconditional self-acceptance

I commit myself to be curious about my issues and investigate them unconditionally – to not judge – instead LEARN and UNDERSTAND

I commit myself to replace judgment with curiosity and interest towards learning more about myself and the issues I have – in this case with money


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