Day 433: Chasing Self vs. Self-Creation

I listened to this interview a couple of days ago: Chasing Self vs Self Creation – Atlanteans – Part 476 – and it was very enlightening. Especially one point opened up within me, and that is making work/career something more than just being about money.

In the interview it is among other things explained that we tend to make work/career all about money. We go to work for the money, we remain in that bubble throughout the day,  ‘working for money’ – and then – we eventually get home and feel as if we have ‘wasted’ our entire day because it has just been about money. However, it is suggested to make work something more – not only about money – but to utilize the office, the job, to grow and expand living skills, expressions, applications, to not accept and allow work to be only about survival.

I myself recently acquired my degree, and I have only been working full time now for about two years. However, I have already seen how work have weighed down upon me, become a problem, something that I am ‘forced to do’ and that my only escape are the weekends and the occasional vacation. And I see that this is a big problem for many. It is not uncommon for people to feel depressed, sad, bored, unsatisfied with their work and having to spend time in the office. Hence, changing who we are in relation to work, that will have a big effect in our lives, because working, that is something we will spend most of our time on. Hence, it makes sense that we should make work something supportive, something that assists us to grow, expand, and become MORE.

How am I then able to change my relationship to work so that it becomes a time where I can grow/expand/accumulate my process of self-creation?

What I see is that I can use my work to practice planning, structuring and to make sure that I follow through on my commitments. I can practice precision, specificity and attention to detail, by for example, making sure that I am focused and HERE in what I am doing. I can push myself to interact, to develop my social skills and learn to communicate clearly and effectively. I can develop movement, direction, leadership and decisiveness. I can practice placing myself in the shoes of others and learn to see the world their way, hence, live empathy, understanding and compassion. And I can investigate being fearless, having self-confidence and self-trust.

My work offers a multitude of opportunities – though I have to be HERE to see them. And I must make sure that it does not become about CHASING other than what is here in my life at the moment. It is never about something more, living life effectively is about creating and moving forward with what is already HERE. Thus, instead of looking forward to what is next, my main practice should be to ask myself: ‘Okay, what can I create with what is already here? How can I use the resources at my disposal to expand and live my full potential?’. And really, is chasing something more, not but an excuse to actually LIVE here fully?


Learn more about this way of living

Advertisements

Day 432: Success, It Is About Starting

Yesterday I read a great blog on the topic of success called A New Dimension of SUCCESS, in which a cool definition of success was brought forth:

Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something

This definition of success does not target material wealth, the result, rather it is about ACTING – and I find that empowering. I have many times feared walking into new ventures and directions, because I suspected I might not be able to make them successful and worth my effort, and due to this I have stopped myself from having new experiences. And I have also seen how I evaluate past projects on the basis of how much wealth I was able to produce, or time I was able to save, or how much attention I received from others, or how close to my initial goal that I came. The problem with evaluating my projects through such quantitative measurements is that I will miss MYSELF within all of them, and miss that, regardless of the outcome, I actually walked a process, I did something, and if I look closely, I will see that I learned something as well.

Defining success as the actual decision to DO something, that supports growth and movement, it supports courage and direction, it supports creativity and inventiveness – it is a EXPANSIVE definition – where the goal is the PROCESS, the JOURNEY, the DECISION, and not the actual outcome in itself.

However, there is something missing from the definition, and that is the point of OTHERS/EXISTENCE. Because, there is more to this life than myself, and real success is only real when everyone benefits. The principle of what is best for all is a essential component in success, for success to be substantial and worthwhile.

Thus – I would like to change the definition above to the following:

Success is the ACT of moving myself to accomplish a goal/direction/project that benefits/supports life in some way, and it is also my EXPERIENCE of the creation process, and it is what I LEARNED through doing it

With this redefinition of success, what is accentuated is the point of making sure that my direction/project/goal actually brings through some sort of value/support in life – if what I do is harmful/self-interested only based on what I want with no regard for another – its not SUCCESS. Further, with this redefinition, the process of creation is placed in the limelight – what is important thus is the MOVEMENT – to actually do something – to not let it remain on a idea level. Ideas/projects/potentials – they are meant to be EXPLORED and MOVED. Hence – if there is an idea – and I want to bring it through – then next point is to PLAN and then DO – it is as simple as that. And – regardless of the outcome – there will be things I have learned, an experience that I can take with me – and that is SUCCESS as well.

For those interested on further perspectives on SUCCESS I suggest listening to the following interviews:

Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 571

More Dimensions of Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 572

Practically Working with Failure and Success – Reptilians – Part 573


Learn more about this way of living

Day 431: Success Continued – Bringing In Others

After writing on the subject of success, and after reading a couple of blogs online on the subject, I have come to see that generally speaking, we tend to exclude one very important aspect/dimension in our definitions of the word SUCCESS – and that is – OTHERS/EXISTENCE.

Because, success is obviously not real if our definition of success is somehow excluding or even impeding on the lives and freedoms of others. An example would be SUCCESS in relation to money. If our definition of success in relation to money implies that we are going to earn a lot more money than another, have the nicest things, and a super luxurious house, with cleaners, nannies, personal drivers, etc – have we then considered how our definition of success impacts earth, the environment, others, and how, for us to be filthy rich, another must be filthy poor and ready to sell their time and energy to us so that they can survive? Hence, success, in its absolute sense, must include EVERYONE and it must include EQUALITY. There cannot be real success, unless it is a success for everyone.

It is easy to forget that we live in this world TOGETHER with others, and that our lives, our values, our actions, our thoughts, our presence, it impacts, it resonates, it creates, it ripples – nobody is an island – and hence – when everyone is successful – we are successful. Thus, it makes no sense to separate success and see it is something that can only be achieved on a individual basis. And seen this way, the question that opens up is the following, but are we even able to compete about who is the must successful? If real success is about the well-being, growth and expansion of ALL, then can any one singular person be successful while the rest is not? At least in the sense of material wealth and growth, that is not possible to be attained alone.

Real success entails not only progress and accomplishment for myself, but for everyone. Hence the importance of sharing myself, and making sure that my process of creating success does not become only about myself, but something that I push and walk into the world as well – through giving as I would like to receive – through seeing where I am able to place myself, where I am able to make a difference, and then doing that which is needed for success to manifest in its absolute sense.


Learn more about this way of living

Day 430: What is Success?

When I look at what success means to me at the moment, I am able to see that it is something I define through comparison. To me currently, success is relative, and it is based upon what others think are successful, and then, through comparing myself to where others are, I accordingly position myself on the ‘success’ thermometer. However, I find that this definition is problematic, because by defining success in relation to others, I miss myself.

Hence, if I would slow myself down, and look at what success if for myself, I see that success is something very personal. What is success for me, might not be success for another – because success – has to do with my intent – and what I want to create and build in my life. Thus, in-fact, I can never become successful if I only keep striving towards that which I believe others see as being successful, as I have not even then, actually defined for myself, what is success?

Hence, if I bring the point back to myself, and look at success, what does this word entail to me?

The way I see success, it implies, actually walking through a difficulty/challenge, or walking a path, a process of creation, where I have a set goal and direction, and success, would be the point where I am actually able to reach this point. Practically speaking, success to me would mean walking this process of birthing life from the physical, diligently, consistently and really change myself. It would mean that I follow my inner voice and walk a life that is ME – and not a life where I try to be what everyone else wants to be. Further, success would be a me, doing something with my life that can contribute and support the lives of others, and where I hence, support the growth of success in a crowd of people. Further, a life filled with animals, nature and movement, that would be success to me – a life that I have created for myself because I have seen that it is best for me – I have seen that it is what I genuinely want – that is success to me.

What everyone else is doing is immaterial, and if there is a movement of jealousy or comparison within me, it is indicating that I am still not clear on what success is to me! Then I am still clouded, and really, without my own principle and direction. And that is also interesting, that when my head turns, and the comparisons start to emerge, it is showing me that I have not yet decided, I have not yet committed, I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to be intimate with myself, and actually within that, commited to a direction that I want for myself. Thus, a part of success has to do with self-respect, self-awareness, and self-value – because unless I see value in myself and what I want for me – how can I ever make the decision to create and live a life for myself – that I want for and as myself – as successful?

Thus, I will sit down for myself and write out what is success for me more clearly – so that I make sure – that when I walk and live the word success – it is a word that I create and live for and as myself – and not something I do to be like everyone else.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define success in separation from myself, to see success, and strive for success, through wanting to do what everyone else defines and sees as successful – instead of asking myself – and looking within myself – what I want to do with my life – what I want to create – what is success for me? What does it mean to achieve for me? What does it mean to make something meaningful and great out of myself and my life?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure success according to how I perceive others see and define success – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to for example – strive to have the perfect career – because everyone else seems to value that – strive to achieve and have the perfect home – because everyone else seems to value that – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss myself – to forget about myself – to not look within myself –  because I am too busy worrying – fearing – creating experiences about what others are or are not doing with themselves and their lives

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a successful life, in the eyes of others, instead of wanting a successful life for and as myself – and thus I see, realize and understand how important it is for me to define – what is success? What does it mean to be successful for ME? How can I achieve and create success in my life in a way that is BEST for me and thus BEST for ALL?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to measure myself through the eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not listen to myself, and be intimate with myself, and embrace the point within me of creating a life and a future that is in alignment with what is best for me and not how I believe everyone else wants to live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with others, and want to achieve that I perceive others want to achieve, so that I can feel that in comparison with others, I am better than them, and my life is better than theirs – and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself, what constitutes a excellent and enjoyable life for me? What constitutes success for me? What does it mean for me to live life fully? And hence I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take a breath, bring myself back here – and bring the word SUCCESS back to and as myself

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself comparing myself with others, or see myself trying to investigate/figure out what to do, through looking at what others are doing, I take a breath, I bring myself back here, and I stop myself – and I see, realize and understand that I will not be able to live success, to experience success and have success unless I redefine and create success for and as myself, through asking myself, what is success in-fact, and thus, not trying to achieve and create success in a state of competition and fear – and hence I commit myself to investigate and create success in my life and for myself and do it as an expression of myself – as something that is genuine and real – and that I do because I see it is best – not something I do because I fear I will miss out otherwise


Learn more about this way of living

Day 429: Justice and Fairness = Limitation

Last week I faced a situation at work where I had to handle a disagreement between two people. Subtly, however noticeably, I sided with one of them, because I felt/thought that they stood on a moral high ground. I decided to intervene and support them to find common ground and a solution. And here is where things go interesting. Because I was in a slight reaction of judgment towards one of the participants, I looked at potential solutions/ways to deal with the situation in a limited, one dimensional way. I wanted a fair solution, however, in only considering what was fair, I missed many other values and parameters that must be taken into account to find the BEST solution.

For example, the solution I saw within myself was the one of the persons (the one I judged) backed down from his position and agreed to a proposition, slightly different from what he wanted. And my inner motive for wanting this solution was that I thought it to be fair and right. However, by becoming focused on this one solution, I missed other values/dimensions, ways to solve the problem, that would have been better for both parties. Even though my solution helped one of the participants to ‘get his will through’, afterwards, I could see that, this was not necessarily the BEST way – and I could see, that it was not BEST for everyone to be just and fair.

And this is the point I want to get at: Fairness and Justice, even though they might seem to be ideals to strive towards, they are also one sided, impractical and by using these ideals to make decisions, we only take into account a few points out of the many, many dimensions that exist in physical reality, which must considered if we want to make good and effective decisions. And in-fact, even if I want to claim that I am impartially fair and just, at the core, there is a judgment, there is a reaction, there is a pattern that I have not yet dealt with that I require to look at.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify me becoming emotional and judgmental with thinking that I am being fair and just, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand, that when I am emotional, and focused on what I feel is fair and just, then I am missing common sense, and I am not seeing the moment for what it is, I am not seeing ALL the parameters and dimensions of the point, and hence I am limiting myself from moving forward and bringing through and creating the BEST possible solutions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that being emotional is never a strength, even though I might claim that I am being just and fair, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not keep my cool, keep my stability, regardless of how unjust or unfair I feel that a situation is, and regardless of how much I want to go into and deal with the situation through becoming emotional, because emotions never help, they cloud my clarity, and at the end of the day, I create more problems for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empowered and strong when I access emotions, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access emotions because I believe that it is right to do so, because I believe that the situation needs it, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘force it’ – to try to scream, yell, and force myself to get power and control over a situation – instead of remaining with and as breath – remaining with and as stability – from which I can see the situation with clarity – from where I can make decisions that are best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that real strength, real power, real justice, and real fairness is to remain stable – and then to act according to what is best for all – taking into account ALL the points that are here – and when I stand with and as stability – I have the power and ability to consider ALL points – because then I am not limited and secluded into an emotional context where I am prejudiced and bound to move a certain direction because it is what I believe and feel to be right – however not necessarily what is the BEST

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself judging, taking sides, or becoming emotional, when I am participating in a discussion, part of a conflict, or seeing others in a conflict, I immediately stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand that I can only see with clarity, and can only establish and see ahead, what is common sense, and what is best for all, when I am stable, when I am grounded, when I am impartial, when I stand here able to view all vantage points – and hence I commit myself to stand impartial – to stand stable – to stand within and as my human physical body and see both parties – see EVERYONE involved without judgment or emotions – and thus I commit myself to push myself to select and go for the solution that is BEST for EVERYONE


Learn more about this way of living

Day 428: Changing Competition

I have now been back at work for a couple of weeks, and one point that has opened up, which has not been present during my vacation, is competition. I have noticed that I compete with my colleagues in many respects, and most of the the time I am competing for attention/recognition/praise from a superior.

This week I have actively challenged my tendency of becoming fearful/anxious/judgmental when I receive criticism by my superiors at work. Usually, I would react in fear, stress or anxiety, and then go into a judgment, and then try to improve that particular aspect of my work so as to not repeat the same mistake again. The way I have challenged this behavior is to, instead of looking at how to change/improve my professional skills to avoid criticism, I look at and push myself to find the core problem and issue within me that is responsible for me making that mistake in the first place.

An example would be how I made a mistake when writing a report at work. My superior came into my room and showed me that I had missed some information. I wanted to go into anxiety and self-judgment, however I stopped myself and instead decided to look at the core issue. What I found was that, at times, I will have this fine feeling/experience that I have missed something, that something is ‘off’, something is not as it should be. The mistake I have done in those moments is that I have brushed that feeling over by saying to myself: ‘No, no, I have done the necessary work, let’s just get done with this now’. Hence, in-fact forcing myself to move forward, when there is a part of me signalling that I am not completely finished. Hence, I made the commitment to start practicing listening to this fine part of myself that comes through at times, to take it seriously, and put more effort and time into investigating and proof-reading, when I ‘suspect’ that something is not as it should be.

What I could also see, as a core problem, was that I at times, too fast throw myself at a conclusion, because I want to get done with it, and because of that, I make unnecessary mistakes, when I could have avoided that mistake through a bit more of research, consideration and deliberation – in essence – CALMING myself down and daring to MOVE and DIRECT myself as SLOW as is needed. There is no meaning or sense in rushing something. However, it takes a commitment, it takes breathing, it takes being steady and stable, to move slowly and comfortably, to dare to use my time and invest it into the various projects in my life, and not haste, believing that I will be able to ‘do more’ if I haste.

Thus, instead of competing, I bring it back to myself. Instead of trying to beat others, I place my focus on challenging myself, and ‘beating’ myself – doing better than what I did in the past – and pushing myself to continuously create myself, and move forward, regardless of what it is that I am doing – there is always room for expansion and momentum. And instead of trying to achieve respect and attention from a superior – I make sure that I give these things to myself – earning my own respect through the way I live – and giving myself attention through literally – paying attention to myself and what I am going through.

 


Learn more about this way of living

Day 427: Not Settling For What Works

I had a moment a couple of days ago, as I was discussing alternative methods of child rearing together with a friend of mine. At one point my friend went into resistance, and made a case as to why one of the theories I brought forth could not work, and then shared that his life worked at the moment, and hence he had no need to bring any new ways and methods of doing things into his life.

After the discussion there were a couple of points that I brought up within me and looked, which were triggered by the subject and the principles that my friend and I discussed, the first point I looked at was how easy we accept what is here currently, as EVERYTHING that there is, and as being unalterable – forever set in stone. One example is our current money system, and the ruling ideology – capitalism. Many times when I have discussed changing this system with others, the answer that frequents has been that, ‘there is nothing to do about it, its always been like that, and it will always be like that’. It is fascinating, because looking at it with logic, it IS possible to change the current money system – it is only a behavior pattern that us humans have decided upon – it is not a law of physics – and the latter I would agree – is not able to be changed.

Hence, it is not reality that is a problem, we, ourselves, are the issue. It is the same with new theories of how to rear children. It is possible to do new things, and it is likely that these new methods will be much better than what we have had in the past. However, if we do not dare to go beyond what we have always known, and if we do not push ourselves to STRIVE for what is BEST – we will not reap the benefits. Thus, one skill that I see it is essential for me to develop is the ability to see beyond what is here currently, and to challenge myself to always go for what is the BEST – and to not settle for what works.

Settling for what works, this is a trap so many of us fall into. We settle for a job we do not like, because it provides us money, and it works. We settle for a partner that is not best for us, because it works. We settle for less than what we are able to achieve, because it works. And why do we accept and allow this? For me, it is about apathy and laziness, and then of course, fear of loss. Striving/moving towards what is BEST takes effort – it takes PUSHING and WILLING – and thus it is not something that comes through by itself. And, obviously, when striving for the BEST to manifest, what is here currently, and what works, must go. And if we fear losing what we already have, then it will be problematic to wholly GO for it.

Thus, these were a couple of realizations that I had as I looked upon the discussion I had with my friend. The tendency to accept what is here as the truth, because… it is here – and the tendency to accept what works, because… I fear really going for it, that which I see and know is BEST.

Self-forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for what works, to settle for what I have done in the past, and that gives reasonable results, instead of going for it, and not settling for anything less than what is BEST, than what is a honest reflection of my true and full potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for anything less than my full potential, and then do the same with this world, to settle for less than what this world, and humanity, has the capability to become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy and apathetic, and not push, will myself, move towards what is BEST – and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that achieving what is best is a matter of moving through my resistances, moving through my laziness, moving through my apathy, and wholeheartedly going for it, and not settling for anything less than that which is BEST

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question my current reality, because it is my current reality, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to leave the point of directing, and impacting reality, up to others, that I feel and believe are more competent, and more able to direct things, and then as well, because my life works, it is okay – instead of pushing and willing myself to make my life the BEST it can be – and influencing, impacting, pushing, to make the lives of others the BEST that they can be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to settle for anything less than what is the BEST

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be willing to move past my resistances and look at new ways of doing things, new information, new perspectives, to be willing to challenge and let go of my idea and picture of reality, and move myself within myself, to embrace the new, to be open to the new, so that I can align and change my life, myself, according to what is BEST – and hence I commit myself to try all things – to consider all things – to look at all things – and to keep what is best

Self-commitment statements

When and as I see myself going into a reaction of resistance, fear, laziness or apathy, when I stand before something new, whatever it might be, or when I see that what is in my reality only works, and that there must be a better way of doing things, I stop myself, I take a breath and I bring myself back here – and I see, realize and understand, that through willing, pushing and moving myself to constantly empower myself, empower others, to expand, to LIVE, to stimulate myself and others, to really make life AWESOME, that is how I get to what is BEST – through being open to new information, through being open to let go of the old and embrace the new – that is how I get to what is BEST – and what is BEST that is what I want in my life – not only what works – and thus I commit myself to will myself to strive, move, and push towards what is BEST – and will myself through any resistance or fear – to consider new information – new perspectives – to be open to it all – and willing to move and create myself – and change my reality and myself – from what works – to what is BEST


Learn more about this way of living